In a nutshell, I hate my stepdad. Well, HATE is a strong word, so let's just say I highly dislike him.
My mother met him about 5 years ago, and they got married a year later. He was nice to me and my sister during their courtship, but since he married my mom he's turned into an ass. Well he's really mean to me and my sister. Neither of us has a bf so he says to our faces that were lesbians. When I had my 25th birthday he told me in front of my mother that I must be a dyke because all of his daughters were married by my age. He always compares us to his daughters who are all married.
My sister has a weight problem and he calls her fat and a slug. He convinced my mother to kick her out of the house while she was still in college. My sister is a good person, she's quiet and studies to get good grades but he tells my mom that she deserves to be kicked out on the street. I think he wants my mom all to himself. He even told me once that he was "sick of me always coming around". I live in another town and maybe visit my mom once every two weeks, so I don't know what he's talking about. On Xmas day when I went to visit them I even heard him yelling at my mom! He was calling her a "stubborn woman" because she asked him to help cut up the turkey. Every one else can see this guys a jerk except for my mother.What can I do? I've already told my mom that she shouldnt have married him but she's in love with him and doesnt want to listen.
I'll rate 5s!
[ Answer this question ] Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category? Maybe give some free advice about: Families? Mdsndaily66 answered Tuesday January 3 2012, 8:19 am: I'm sorry about that i also have a stubborn stepdad. Except mine isn't as bad. When my mom was In a relationship with my real dad he use to beat her. She finally came to her senses and divorced him and he kept cheating on her. My mon kept going back to him until she realized it really was over. Anyway now my mOm has been in a relationship with a guy for 3 years but he hasn't mariried her so I wouldn't say he is my stepdad but her boyfriend anyways, my mom kept saying that if her bf ever cheated on her she would leave in a split second she always tells herself how senseless she was back then and it wouldn't happen again but one day m moms bf left his phone on when he was drunk and he said he was gonna go over I a girls house and you know where it went from there but she cried so hard he made a whole plan to move out but never did and she found naked pictures of a girl on his phone and she is sick and he made her get up and clean and she still says she's gonna move out but it doesn't happen like that I know she's bluffing but if she moved out we would be living somewhat poor again like we did before her bf came along but my sister moved to my dads an my other sister is in college and one of m sisters is in this whole thing with the court because she does drugs and she got drunk and stole from a church so pretty much she is either going to prison or juvenile detention and my mon is taking it hard but my moms bf doesn't care/: but yea at least he's not bagging on me because that would suck in sorry again [ Mdsndaily66's advice column | Ask Mdsndaily66 A Question ]
Timmyisbored answered Sunday May 15 2011, 8:18 am: Wow, you have practically discribed my stepdad, except my stepdad is the most unbelievable child-like hippocritical bigot, he also puts up the best act infront of others, and it's the psychological pain that is so hard to bear, and when you try to tell someone about your situation and it doesn't seem like much cos it can't really be put into a few simple words.
he as 3 children, 1 hasn't talked to him in 18 yrs, 1 in 3 yrs, and another which is still hesitant.
i guess what i'm trying to say is that you're not alone, there are many of us out there trying to put up with these abominations of human beings, and that all the best, i guess you shouldn't try and convince your mother, rather you have to endure the pain for another few years till you have a job and is capable of moving out. and when you're at the peak of your carrer you, he'll be dead :D
another note, i'm only 16 and i have many years to go :( [ Timmyisbored's advice column | Ask Timmyisbored A Question ]
kakerako answered Monday October 18 2010, 4:16 am: I also have a stepfather whom I despise with every molecule of my existence >:O
What you do is...You get back at him. If he has a funny haircut, make fun of it! (Humorously, of course) It works every time. He's obviously going to be much older than you. Make fun of his age! Say something such as... "Don't you wish your body was YOUNG like me? Don't you wish your body was so young like me? Oh yeah, dontcha?!"
It's very simple to intimidate and get your vengeance. He'll soon realize that this
'game' is for two. Not one. [Learned through experience, he'll stop bothering you because he'll know you mean business. But don't go up and say "You ugly b****! Get your dirty hands off my mother!" It doesn't work. He'll tell your mother. Use humor. He'll have no way of complaining.] [ kakerako's advice column | Ask kakerako A Question ]
tapdiva answered Tuesday January 17 2006, 10:40 pm: I am so sorry that happened to you and your sister! Your mom made a mistake and she apparently can't own up to it. If your mom allows that man to treat her own kids like that than maybe there is nothing you can do. [ tapdiva's advice column | Ask tapdiva A Question ]
Porphyrogenitus answered Tuesday January 17 2006, 2:52 am: Your mother is a grown woman and can make decisions on her own accord, regardless of how unfortunate those choices may be. What you must do as a precaution, however, is to keep an eye on your Mum to ensure that she's not on the receiving end of appalling emotional or, God forbid, physical abuse from this tyrant. Have a sincere chat with your mother, just the two of you. Take her out to lunch and have a calm exchange. Don't make accusations. Instead, ask your mother to recall, if possible, everything your step father had ever said about you and your sister and afford her the opportunity to reflect on it.
The wisest course of action to take, however, would be to seek professional counselling. I highly doubt that many of us here will be to able to grant you the assistance and the answers that you seek.
Razhie answered Sunday January 15 2006, 10:11 pm: Don't be too hard on your mother. Accusing her of marrying an asshole (and it would certainly would feel like an accusation to her) will only drive a wedge between you at a time where she desperately needs her daughters support.
So be supportive, don't focus on him, focus on your mother and your feelings such as "Mom I don't like it when he speaks to you that way." Or "Mom it hurts me that I'm not welcome in your home."
If his inappropriate behavior is directed at you feel free to leave. You are an adult, if you are being treated poorly you have the choice to get up and go. Just apologize to your mother and explain you can't stay if that is the way he is going to behave, and ask your mother to met you somewhere else, at a restaurant or a coffee house for your next visit. You don't need to guilt her, but it make it clear that you don't want to speak to her husband unless he behaves himself.
Your mother is adult, and is allowed to make her own mistakes just like you are. You probably can't make her leave this man, but make sure to remain the loving and supportive daughter that she can turn too. If she finds the strength to break from this man, you'll want to be there for her. [ Razhie's advice column | Ask Razhie A Question ]
Scribble answered Sunday January 15 2006, 10:09 pm: Man, you're probably gonna hate my answer. There doesn't sound like there is a lot you can do.
If your mother has strong feelings for him there is little you can do to change that, and attempting to do so might drive a wedge between the two of you, especially if she know's you dislike your step-father.
Having said that, me and my step-dad aren't exactly the best of pals, and him being offensive to you has to stop. If he's rude to your face, give as good as you get. You're a grown woman and nobody has the right to push you around, and the same goes for your sister. There's no point in trying to convince your mother of his short-comings, but don't let your love for her stop you defending yourself. Step-father or not, you DO NOT have to take any of his crap. The guy sounds like a dickweed. [ Scribble's advice column | Ask Scribble A Question ]
Erinn_the_bamf answered Sunday January 15 2006, 10:08 pm: First off you are totally right this guy's an ass. Your mom shouldn't let this man talk about her children like that. He has no right to say that and you make sure he knows. Stand up for yourself and your sister when he talks about you. Alert your mom that this is hurting you and that you refuse to take this. Ask her to your house more often and don't invite your step-dad.
However, there is nothing you can do to spilt them apart. Explain to your mom that you will be spending the least amount of time with him as possible. Make sure you tell her you still love her you just don't love him. When your around him be polite but if he makes a personal attack on you don't be afarid to be assertive.
xOViLLYxO answered Sunday January 15 2006, 8:39 pm: Ughh.He sounds like a fagget.Well what you have to do is while he is at work or not at home tell your mom the truth.Tell her EVERYTHiNG.He has no right to call you or your sister that.Your not even his real kids so yeah he is a jackass.Next time he says it to you what you have to do is get in his face to just talk back to him,I know it might be mean but wow he has no right to do this to you. If your mom doesn't want to listen then talk to a counsler she will listen and help out alot. Good luck with everything and never let a fuckin retard say that to you again.♥ [ xOViLLYxO's advice column | Ask xOViLLYxO A Question ]
xox_cutebrunette answered Sunday January 15 2006, 8:14 pm: okay well he seriously is a BUTTHOLE, wtf?¿he has no right to treat you like that your not his real daugther your his step so you should just tell him that he needs to learn how to deal with you being around because shes your mom, and he cant have her all to himself, but you should also try and explain everything to your mom and tell her how he tearts you and WTF? why is he calling you guys lesbians maybe you guys arent ready for a commited relationship, well good luck and i hope it works out..
[♥]DiNA [ xox_cutebrunette's advice column | Ask xox_cutebrunette A Question ]
Shatari answered Sunday January 15 2006, 8:01 pm: Try to explain to your mom that she shouldnt put him over her children because its plain to see how you are explaining it he is a bad father and an even worst stepfather.Have you tried talking to your mother alone without him around if not please do so.My boyfriend had this problem to but his stepfather hit his mother and he also tried to hit me a couple of times when i was over there. I am still with my boyfriend to this day. Please dont let it go this far.Hope ive helped.:) [ Shatari's advice column | Ask Shatari A Question ]
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