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I'm a such A BIG FAILURE at Everything!
I have a huge problem.....I'm a failure at everything in life . All my previous friends have told me so and my whole family is CONSTANTLY telling me that I'm a failure. Even people who don't know me personally, tell me that I'm a failure when they hear about me. So , what they're saying (that I'm a failure) is true, since so many people have told me the same thing. Before, hearing that statement would motivate me to work really hard. And it would work because I would achieve my goals, temporarily. Now, whenever anyone tells me I'm a failure, it doesn't motivate me anymore. Instead, I get really sad and stay in my room alone and cry. I even skip going to college because I'm so sad and don't want to be annoyed by anymore people telling me the same thing. I already have depression and am taking medication for it, so hearing this statement from people doesn't help. Now my question is: HOW DO I GET OVER THIS? HOW DO I MOITIVATE MYSELF AND STAY MOTIVATED? HOW DO I PROVE TO EVERYONE THAT I'M NOT A FAILUTRE? Sorry for the long letter. Please, no smart alecs.
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dont feel this way. you are still young.
i'm a failure as well. i have been working in the company for 1 year and half but no one recognize me. i have been in australia for 5 years but still most of people dont understand my accent.
i believe everyone is a failure at something in life.
dont take too serious about other people's opionion. you must have ur strength on sth. sth you must better than others. as i can see, u r really a considerate person and a nice and modest personality.
be confident. i am proud of you of speaking this out and i believe one day you will be proud of urself as well.
back you up
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I feel the same way. I just started college, I am taking pretty easy classes and I'm failing math. Whenever I do something like cleaning or cooking it always comes out bad. I don't feel like I am capable of having a job because I feel that I don't have potential.. I don't even know what I am good at anymore. I really don't know what to do :'(
I wish I could give you advice. I replied because I feel connected to you in this situation.
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If you believe you're not a failure, then you're not a failure. It's that simple, really. As long as you're working hard and trying you're best, then you're not a failure. Life always has those doubters, those people who never think you can do it, just prove them wrong. Prove to them that you're able to do whatever you set your mind to, and it will come true. WIth the meds you shouldn't have to worry so much anymore. They'll help your depression (most likely) and help you get back on track. Just remember that as long as you believe in yourself, you can do it.
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well to get over this a good thing to do would be to put everything past you and forget about it, but you should deffinatly go to college! you can make some new friends and maybe find a sport or activity there that you are good at ..
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I know about depression,i am on medication also. People have told me similar things and always put me down.but you know what sweety i dont listen to them no more. I know i amnot a failure and i know i am better than that. You dont have to prove nothing to no one but youirself. You focus on you and your goals and eventually people will see you are not a failure. Let these people think hat they want--b/c in all reality they are the failures-they dont know you like they say they do and they dontneed to know you--only you do. If you think your a failure your going to be-if you think your ugly your not going to feel good about yourself,if you think you cant do it you wont--you must think poisitive and give a positive outlook on life--things will look better for you when the cluds disappear--right now it is all still shades of gray-Dont give your education up for no one b/c only you will succeed and become a better perosn than them--did you ever think its b/c they are jealous of you b/c you are better than them and in order for them to feel good baout them self they put you down so u dont succeed and become more than them? You need to think of you and what your capable of. You seem like a smart person-go for your dreams and goals and dont worry about what other people thin of you. Good luck sweety
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I suppose looking at this I need to ask you. Do you believe in yourself at all? The reason you are being brought down by everyone and come to believe you are a failure, comes from a lack of self-confidence. Don't listen to them. Just because everyone tells you that, doesn't mean you are. The old saying "if enough people say it, it must be true" is NOT true. I don't know what all people have said you have failed at, but I believe your not. If you can't do something right, keep trying at it. Practice and repetivenes brings perfection and ease with what your doing. I'm sorry that people say this to you, but don't listen to them. If you do, you will doubt yourself, and you should NEVER doubt yourself, ever. Your motivation, should be yourself, forever and always.
I don't know what else to say, all I can say is believe in yourself and not what other people say, and let that be your motivation
-Ryan
P.S. If you need anything else at all, please leave me something in my inbox or IM me, my sn is on my column.
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You're a failure!
Nah, I'm just joshing ya. But seriously...
Did this people present you with any factual evidence that you were a failure? If not, why are you beginning to believe them?
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the first thing is that you can't believe everything other people tell you. if you start beleiving that, that is all that you will think about. just tell yourself that you can do it and you know you can. one thing that you can do to make yourself feel better is to sit down with a notebook and pen and list all of the good things in your life. like your accomplishments, physical traits, things other people like about you, and ect. i am sure that you can think of some great things. then, when you are feeling really down, go read the list that you made and it will make you feel better. i tried this and it worked for me.
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Hey. I'm really serious about this.. DO YOU believe in yourself? DO NOT ever let anyone tell you you're a failure..No one deserves that and neither do you! The problem is that you've been hearing so much of it that you're letting it get to your head.. why would you have to care about what others have to say? It's your life and if you know you can do it then go out there and GO DO IT! My dad does that to me no matter how good my grades are or anything.. come on what can you ask for more then straight A's and never in trouble right? Do it for yourself and NOT for anyone else. if they say you can do it prove them wrong and blow them aside. it's your choice and all you if you want to succeed in something or not. As long as you are willing to push youself to accomplish something then you can do it. NO ONE is a failure unless they try and you obviously do not sound like a failure. Anything else let me know. i hope i helped. take care! x3SweetStar.
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well this might sound a little harsh, but you should hear it. you shouldn't let things like that get to you. the reason people think things like that is because when people say that, and kept saying it, you decided not to go to collage. if you were dreaming to go to a collage then you did fail to complete that dream. because you let people say that you just kind of gave up. DON'T. if you keep yourself motivated you can pick yourself up and do what you want to do. all you have to do is try. put your all into it. do schoolwork instead of watching a movie or hanging out with friends. if you work hard, and you WANT to be sucessful, then you will be. and to prove yourself, don't. if they think you are the failior, let them. their opinion is their problem. if someone says something to you, dont get upset about it. it dosent matter about what people think of you, but who you really are. and in time, the right people will notice that you really arnt a falior. good luck.
ANK
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I think some of the other answers you've gotten are very good and hopefully helpful to you. I agree with younggrandma that you might want to go back to your doctor and try a change of antidepressant med. Not all antidepressants work the same for each person. I strongly encourage you to do this because it will help to make YOUR attitude better.
It's a terrible travesty that so many people have told you that you are a failure. This may sound weird to you, but it is my belief that if you have always thought you were a failure, then you attract (without knowing it) people who are going to pick up on that energy and mirror whatever you're thinking of yourself. It's good that you said your "previous friends" said these things about you because I'm hoping that they are no longer in your life. You definitely need new friends who will support you and encourage you. I don't know what your relationship is with your family, but can you talk to them about how they talk to you and tell them 1) that you want and need them to stop dragging you down by telling you that you're a failure, and 2) that you will no longer stay in their presence (go to another room, leave the house, whatever - but I'm NOT saying that you should leave them out of your life) when they start this kind of talk. Try to distance yourself from them or anyone else who says these types of things to you. At least for a while.
I'm sorry that YOU think you're a failure. I highly suspect that you are NOT! For one thing, you're in college for heaven's sake. That is obviously a major accomplishment! And, as younggrandma said, you write very well, so that's another plus for you.
But the main thing here is that YOU need to work on not thinking that you're a failure. I obviously don't know what happened to you to make you begin feeling that way. Did this evolve from a family member telling you this from a very young age? Unfortunately that happens all too often and then the child grows up believing it. But no matter what happened to you to get you on this line of thinking (which, by the way is so very detrimental and unhealthy), it is up to you to change your attitude about yourself and all that you do. I know this may sound impossible right now - changing how you view yourself - but it can be done with hard work. Please try to look at your life and find the things that you are proud of. I'd suggest making a list. On the one side write what has disappointed you about your life, and on the other side write what you have accomplished. Really think hard about this and try not to judge yourself harshly while you're doing this. Try not to judge yourself at all! Just be as honest as possible. If you have ANYTHING on the list of accomplishments (such as college) then you can surely tell yourself that "NO!" you're not a failure. Also, I would suggest some counseling while you're in this depression. A counselor can help you see why you allow other people to not only say these things to you, but why you have allowed yourself to believe them. And, a counselor can help you take steps in regaining your self-esteem. You'll also receive help in how to motivate yourself again WITHOUT being "forced" into it because people are saying cruel things to you, like you did before. You're probably aware that college campuses have counselors for students and that their services are free. Please look into that. Taking medication for depression is one thing, but receiving counseling along with the medication is the BEST thing.
Please know that because you are aware of your depression, that you've done something about it, AND you're asking for advice, that you are making some very good (and even difficult) steps to changing what all is going on. This tells me that you're a determined person who is not destined for failure!
This also may sound strange to you, but have you ever tried anything like getting into a marshal arts class? Karate teaches people how to center themselves, take care of themselves mentally and physically, and interestingly enough encourages pride and the building of self-esteem. It sure worked for me at a very low point in my life, even though I just knew I would fail at that! I didn't and I found energy and motivation through the work I did in karate. I'm very thankful for what I gained from that experience. Maybe you could try something like this to help you with several of your issues? There are probably different marshal arts classes taught at your college. Or, you can probably find an inexpensive one given through your local recreation department.
I believe that you WILL get past this, but YOU need to work on getting yourself a little more grounded and looking at yourself in an HONEST way. One thing that is suggested by positive thinking workshop facilitators feels a little ridiculous and embarrassing at first, but believe me, it helps a lot! That is, each day, several times a day, look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are successful. Do not say, "I'm not a failure," because you are still using that word that is bringing you down. The more you give yourself this positive affirmation, the easier it will be to do it and you will eventually be able to start believing it. And think about it: you've told yourself over and over again that you're a failure and you began to believe it. So why wouldn't telling yourself that you're a success over and over make you eventually believe that?!
Try to start going back to your college courses, hold your head up high - don't slink into yourself - and remind yourself as often as possible that, "Hey, I made it to college! What an accomplishment!" Don't try so hard to prove to OTHER people that you're not a failure. What they say may hurt, but it is not what makes you who you are. YOU make you who you are. You don't owe anyone anything. Tell yourself each night that you will no longer succumb to the cruel assumptions of others. Tell yourself while you're lying in bed that you will get up in the morning and begin a new day with a positive attitude. Sure, this may be hard at first, but try as much as you can to at least motivate yourself to do this one thing. Take baby steps if you have to. Who cares really? Only you should care about how you respond to what others are saying. YOU are the one who must change. You can't make others change, but with your own changes, be aware that you'll discover that many things will change around you. Life will look a little brighter each day.
So, bottom line, maybe change your medication, stay on it, try some counseling, repeat over and over positive affirmations to yourself, and distance yourself from those who are absolutely dragging you down.
I wish you much luck. I have confidence in your already begun process of healing yourself. That, my friend, is being successful!
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First off, you're not a failure. Everyone is good at something. The trick is figuring out exactly what that is. For example, from your letter here, I see that you're articulate and write well. Also, just because you don't get something on the first try doesn't make you a failure. Finding the courage to try again makes you a winner in my book.
I would speak to your doctor. You may need a change in medication. Sometimes it takes a couple different tries with medication to find the one that's right for you. I would also consider visiting student services about counseling. Most colleges offer students free counseling on campus.
I think the remarks are part of the problem. Is there any way you can talk to those making the remarks to get them stopped? Can you try to ignore the remarks? Sady, if someone is told something enough, they start to believe it. The people around you should be encouraging you, not knocking you down.
As to proving you're not a failure, that's something you need to do for yourself, not everyone else. No matter how hard we try, someone is always not going to like something about us. It's human nature. The more important person to worry about pleasing here is yourself.
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I know this is going to be difficult but you just have to ignore what other people say about you being a failure, just try asking yourself (and maybe them as well) just what have they all achieved that makes them so high and mighty as to judge if you are a failure or not? Not everyone is as good at the same things, maybe you just haven't found your skill yet. All you can do is keep telling yourself that you're not a failure (am I'm sure that you're not, if you really think about it), the fact that you keep going despite being told by everone that you are proves to me that it's not true. It is possible that because everyone saw that this motivated you to work harder at first they don't know that it doesn't anymore, maybe you should talk to your friends and family about it.
Just keep trying your hardest, nobody can ever ask more of you than that. Take it easy and try not to let it drag you down.
Kizlode
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i know how you feel just try to tell youself that yoyr not a failure because it also matters what you think too not just what other people think and then when you deal with how you think then it will be easy to prove them that your not a failure
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First step you should probably take is to get with your doctor and see about a change of meds. Maybe the one you take now just isn't doing it for you anymore.
You aren't a failure at everything in life. You may not do everything perfectly, you may have to work harder at some things than another person would...that doesn't make you a failure.
You don't have to prove this to anyone else. You just have to believe it yourself.
Try to avoid thinking you are going to fail at things before you even give yourself a chance. If you let yourself believe you are a failure, you will probably fail. Try to have a more positive attitude.
Here are some positives to start you off.
Your letter was very well written....better than an awful lot written on this site.
You mention "previous friends", so hopefully that means you have dropped some people who are negative from your life.
You know you suffer from depression and have gotten help for that problem....big positive.
As I mentioned earlier, see your doctor and see if a med change would help. Try to believe in yourself and disregard what others say about you, just please yourself. :)
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