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In Short, He's Married.
I'm 17. I've been dating my boyfriend for 4 months now. He's 24, and things couldn't be better. One problem. He's married to another woman. I had NO idea he was married when we got together 4 months ago. Had I known then what I know now, I wouldn't have ever kept up contact with him. So, I know, but he doesn't know I know. And I'm guessing the wife has NO idea about his infedility. I've known this for about two weeks. I taped us "in the act", in case I ever needed proof.
Question is: how should I go about handling this?
Should I bring it up to HIM first?
Should I somehow tell his WIFE? And if you think I should do that, in what form of communication do you think would be best?
Do you think I should just end the relationship suddenly without mentioning it to him, and then stay the hell away, or what?
I would like to know if MY significant other were up to no good. I know it's not so much my business, but I would have trouble living with myself knowing I kept such a drastic secret from a woman who has every right to know. :(
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Yeah first off that is illegal and if he's cheating on his wife why would you want him as a boyfriend this is a maury question isnt it seriously you should just call it all off tell his wife and let them handel it between them selves just don't stay in the relationship because its aganst the lay and it is not a very intellegent idea to be with someone whos already married lets not kid ourselves here
Well hope things turn out better
signed
Morbid
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Look at it this way.
Even if he chooses you over his wife for some miraculous reason, he'll probably end up cheating on you, because he cheated on his wife. Once a cheater, always a cheater, and sometimes it takes a while to figure that out.
I'd just tell him off, and tell him if he wants to be an ass about it, and harrass you, that you'd be more than glad to tell his wife about your little escapades.
Hell, maybe you can get some money out of him for the tape.
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Leave. Leave now. He is a low life. His wife can fend for herself,you get the fuck out of there. Don't see this guy anymore, don't talk to him, nothing. Tell him what you're doing and don't see him again. Try and forget this happened to you. And next time be careful talking to a much older guy.
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Hey okay first of all if anyone finds out you guys had sex then he would be the won charged because he's older then you. anyways the best to do and what i would do it end the relationship with him and if you can try to contact his wife in person. Yeah I know what if she hurts you or something but let her know the true that you didn't know he was married and thats why you choose to leave the picture. Then from there just let them take care of their problems. hope i helped. anything else let me know. take care. =] x3SweetStar.
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You need the help of adults here. They (parents) should be the ones to handle this not you. Tell them you screwed up and dated a complete liar who not only is 24-years-old but married to someone who does not know.
Yes, he WILL and should be charged for dating a minor let alone having sex which is deemed as statutory rape. There is something wrong with a person who sleeps with someone regarded as a child one age difference from 18 or not. You got taken advantage of by him for his own gain.
Let your parents tell him he is not welcomed around you and if he so much as tries to start a relationship again they will go after him. He's a deeply troubled and screwed up man. Your parents are the ones who should tell him to stay the hell away from you or deal with the police.
As far as yourself have no contact with him, his wife etc. That's their problem and not yours to sort out or be involved in. Best of luck here. Do be sure to get adults to solve this one.
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First reassess your feelings for him. Do you still want to be with him? Once you've decided that, before you do anything else you need to talk to him about it. Tell him what you know and how you feel about it. Ask him why he did it, why he didn't tell you and how he feels about it too. Tell him that he needs to tell his wife. Don't get him arrested, this can probably be solved on it's own. It was a great idea for you to make the tape as a "just in case", but don't tell him about it unless he still wants to be with you (and you want to be with him) and he refuses to tell his wife after a week or so. If he just breaks things off with you, then it's not your problem anymore, his wife will find out one way or another. Don't use the tape against him unless you absolutely have to (like if he gets violent or stalks you or something). Make sure that a close friend knows about the situation and is with you when you go to see him in case anything happens. A private conversation is okay, but just make sure you're not completely alone. I'm sure you've seen how this kind of stuff goes on TV, real life isn't TV, but it's never wrong to be safe. Depending on what happens, you may still be able to be with him if that's what you want. I would suggest not doing that because usually "once a cheater, always a cheater". I'm really sorry about what happened and I hope that everything works out the way you want it to. Good luck!
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hey hun..
Well i think bringing this up to him first would be the best thing to do.. i wouldn`t tell his wife personally.. i think he should tell her.. You have the right to know the truth about this guy you go with.. DOn`t dump him without telling him.. find out whats wrong with his mariage and figure out what kind of guy this is cuz then you can also find out if he`s any good for you and see if he`ll do the same to you.. its your decision weather to stay with a guy who cheats.. also Yes if you decide to press charges he can get in trouble or a parent or gardian of yours.. but she can`t press the charges.. ♥ Dez
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well first of all i'm missloudy.you should tell him that you have found out about his wife and if he didn't luv you enough to tell you about her then it ain't ment to be together.Til next time take care of yourself and each other
sign:missloudy
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Answer: I question your motives for wanting to tell, especially considering the fact you taped it. Revenge for a broken heart? Hopes that you may break up the marriage and he'll come to you? I'm sure you're a lot better person than that. Do not tell the wife.
First of all, you need to look out for yourself. What if you did tell, and the husband/wife ended up blaming you and coming after you for breaking up the marriage? This man lied to you about such a huge part of his life, who knows his true character. And the wife... if you showed her that tape and her husband was sent off to jail, who knows how she might react.
Chances are, the wife already knows he's a cheater, and if she doesn't, she will figure it out eventually on her own. Women are not stupid. Maybe she does know but is not ready to come to terms with it yet. Maybe she does know but doesn't care. Maybe they have an open relationship. Maybe they are going through a divorce. There are a lot of possibilities here, but don't let yourself get caught in the mess. If you do, you will look like the bad guy, even if that's not the case.
Yes, you need to discuss it with him. Tell him you know about his wife and unless they are in an open relationship/process of getting a divorce/some other valid reason, you need to cut contact with him. Tell him you are no longer going to see him as long as he is married to his wife. Do not allow yourself to be the pawn in an affair. You will only have your heart broken. If you continue to do as you are doing, he will probably not leave his wife because, as he sees it, he is having the best of both worlds. He is using you for his own pleasure and selfish purposes. When you are in a relationship, you are supposed to give yourself to one person, not only half of yourself.
Does he know you are only 17? The laws regarding sexual crimes against a minor vary from state to state. Some states are as young as 16 in regards to consent, others are 18. It is your choice whether or not to inform legal authorities if he has committed a crime, but keep all of these things I have listed in mind before doing so. You don't want to open up a can of worms.
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Can you really trust a guy that wouldn't even tell you he's married? You should inform his wife that hes been seeing you...its not fair for her to be left in the dark about it. Depending on how close you are to eighteen maybe you should wait a little longer to tell anyone. You definitely need to hint around the subject when talking to this guy see what he says.
-Nina
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hi,
well she needs to know. but first i think she deserves happiness as much as you do.
most people would confront the him and if he says no
because it seems that he's just getting what he wants from you
but then again i don't know you or him to pass judgement.
if he deny it he , its up to you to tell his wife. but the wife might lash out on you
good luck
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well i would because he not only used you but he played you too and now he's doing the same to his wife and in my opion she deserves to know that her husbands a lieing cheating fuck and dont think about not getting into his business because he brought you in it the day he lied to you hope i help sweet apples oh good thinking about taping him i like the way you think
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I'm sorry if you are particularly fond of this guy, but the truth is is that he is a scumbag and he deserves to be punished for statutory rape, however close to 18 you are. Even if you don't want that to happen, the least you could do is tell it to his wife. You OWE it to her. If she needs the proof, then give it to her. She needs to know that her husband has been screwing around on her with a minor.
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Ok first off he LIED to you. He has a coommitment with another women-he is married. You dont want to be in the middle of this. Say they would end up getting divorced and here you are the middle girl--he will do the same thing to you. You just need to tell him i found out you are married and say you have a wife-go home to her. I would definetly not get in the middle. No i would not tell his wife--just leave the man and thats it-dont be the one to tell her--she will evenntually find out and he is the one who will suffer,not you. It is a shame but he is no good for 1 he is a liar and 2 he is a cheater. Now the other thing is if you dont mind--think of the wife. How would you feel if you were married to him and he was with someone else and you didnt know--you would be heartbroken. But no it is not your place to tell her. Maybe say to him he needs to tell his wife and of course he will say no--that just proves he is no man at all and in the end he will get what he deserves. Hope i could help keep me posted and if you need anything else let me know
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