I'm 27/M/Canadian/ syndicated Film critic/Host/Producer/Journalism Graduate/Former advice counsellor and admin on Teenhelp.org and award winner on Teen Advice Online 1997-2000.
Listen to "Reel Talk" my new Internet Talk Show with film reviews, celebrity guests, contests, and a lot more. www.teentalknetwork.com/reel.htm
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Please note: Special Reel Talk Show running til Wednesday November 9th Karen Liberman executive director of the moods disorder association on Mental Illness and teens. Download now while you still can.
Member Since: October 15, 2005
Answers: 118
Last Update: December 4, 2005
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okay im a f/16 and i shave down there. is that weird if im not having sex at all and dont plan on it any time soon? does anyone else? (link)
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There is a similar question that was posted about a girl your age going to a doctor and having an infection. She was scared someothing would be said and or be weird when seeing the doctor.
Anyway, shaving around your vagina is YOUR CHOICE. You did it because you wanted to and felt comfortable that way. It does not mean you are having sex with anyone or even thinking about it. All it means is you shaved your pubic hair off. There is nothing weird about it (quite common people do) so I would relax about it. Just think--millions of people in the world--a lot do it. That does not make you weird. You are if you look about it that way in the company of a lot of older teens and women.
It is often done for hygene too as well as look so take that into consideration.
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Hey. I just got the guts today to tell my mom & sister that I think I may have a bacterial infection down below. They made me an appointment to see a regular doctor (not gynaeocologist) on Wednesday. I was wondering, it won't be awkward, I shave completely down there. Like do you think they'll think I'm weird? Because I shave down there? I don't know, it just seems sorta creepy seen as I don't do anything with guys yet! I'm 15/f! :) Thanks. (link)
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Hun,
When it comes to private parts people are sqeamish when doctor's need to see them. Having shaved the area is always about your own personal choice. Doctor's have seen tons of private parts of all sizes, varieties, infections be them shaved or not. The last thing on their mind is whether you shaved down there or not.
The doctor is professional and will explain what they are doing and why. If you want another female in the room during the vaginal exam you can. The only thing they will care about is whether there is an infection or not and how to treat it. Missing hairs be it on your head or down below do not concern them.
I guarentee they have seen things ten time more embarassing or read about them during their medical career. The less you put this all out of thought and out of mind the quicker the exam goes and you can go home. Don't worry about how your vagina looks or any of that the only one concerned is you as the doctor will not care.
Another thing, it's so common these days to be shaved down there they must see it a lot. You won't be the only person they ever saw with this type of infection or who prefered to shave/wax down there.
You have to put it in perspective they see tons of private parts each day yours is not going to get singled out any time soon. They cannot tell your mother either etc It's confidential and even if they did I doubt it would bother her that much.
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Okay well i have acne and i don't like it.I was woundering what are the best products to get it to go away fast. cause having acne can be pretty embarassing and i don't really like it. so i was woundering if anyone knew any good products to use (link)
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Hi,
Over the counter products or those you buy straight off the television cannot and most of the time do not do a good job. Why? All of them are made from the same ingrediants but lack medication in them.
What you really need to do is see a doctor. They will see how severe the acne is and they may have samples of medications that are several times stronger than anything over the counter to combat it. They may also refer you to a deermatologist or write out a perscription.
This is what you need as the acne can disapear within days using the prescription medication. It is the best bet if acne is severe or does not go away. If it is a mild outbreak the other products may work but take more time.
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Like, what are the signs of being bipolar? on one of my pervious questions alot of people mention that i might be bipolar, so i was just wondering.
♥Paige (link)
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Odds are people around you are unaware of what it truly is like to suffer BiPolar disorder. They may have read all the text book information and fact sheets the previous answer provides. None of those can prepare you or your family for what it really is like.
There is no textbook case! I say that knowing full well there is not and each person who has it is different and hard to notice with. If I did not tell you I was Bipolar (which I am) you would never know once I was stable on lithium and other drugs. You cannot pick a mentally ill person out all the time nor can you accurately suggest someone is BiPolar.
Your friends and family likely have it wrong. If you are known to be bubbly, energetic and bouncing off the walls it is not the sign of danger. If however, you have boundless energy, cannot sleep properly, have rapid speech patterns, and cannot slow down this is a warning of something wrong.
In that case you likely are "Hypomanic" this is the stage where it is boundless energy, rapid thoughts, inability to sleep, always restless. While it is not dangerous at this stage it can escalate.
Once "Hypomania" becomes mixed with thoughts of being extremely gifted or delusions of things that you are not experiencing, seeing things not there, channeling thoughts of beings or animals, and all of the Hypomanic symptoms combined. Delusions are usually what is noticed first as is peculiar out of character thoughts, statements, ideas, behavior.
You might think "Oh that's easy to tell." Well, it is not you see the best way to describe BiPolar is that it takes your normal life and slowly hijacks it so your normal life and the delusions all get mixed into one. That is where BiPolar becomes dangerous and you then spend time in hopsital wards like I have myself.
I recommend if you need more information on the subject to stop consulting online sources, see a doctor if concerned, do not listen to friends unless they know what the disease is and does and get your hands on the book "BiPolar For Dummies" which really is the bible on this issue and points out everyone's symptoms are indeed different.
Next, I invite you to listen to a special program. It is 40 minutes of picking the brain of Karen Liberman the Moods Disorder's Association president in Ontario, Canada. This will give you an idea of what BiPolar is and is not more than anyone else can. http://www.newvoices.info/audio/ttn/talk3.ram
The direct link (scroll to Karen Liberman) is http://teentalknetwork.com/reelguests.htm
I also invite you to converse with me by using my inbox here or writing me through reeltalk@teentalknetwork.com
Geoff
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Hey. I need a lot of help with deciding what to get my family for christmas. First of all, I know that I have to get my mom 2 presents because her birthday is December 29, and my dad also needs 2 because his birthday is December 21. I already have the gifts for all of my siblings. I've asked my mom and dad what they want and they said, "You being with me for Christmas." So I have no clue what to get them. I don't spend much time with my mom so I don't even know what she would like, and my dad is kind of the same..What should I get? Thank you.
-I rate high for anything unobvious- (link)
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You do not need two present (4 each) for each of them. They know you do not have much money. I think they want you to keep your money for something else. I would however get them one gift each. When in doubt chocolates, books, work. It is probably best to go in and get gift cards.
Your father might want a Best Buy gift card, or Home Depot one etc. As for your mother perfume, scented candles etc. Book store gift cards are great too.
Some kids get imaginative and hand out coupon books of chores or favors they will do such as babysitting that can be used by the parent at any time. If artistic you can also design your gift or do crafts. There are many sites on the net to help you make useful but decorative house hold items online for Christmas.
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i feel sooo bad! my friend thinks shes soo amazing, and so talented, and she sings all the time. when she sings everyone either laughs or tells her to shut up. its.... really... really.. bad. i dont know what to tell her. i dont want to hurt her, but shes just embarassing herself! our school musical auditions just happened, and she was shooked when she didnt get called back from the lead. what can i do do help her :/ im 15/f is that helps at all. thank you! (link)
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The issue is not that she cannot sing. While that is clear her problem is she is tone deaf. She cannot hit as well as cannot hear music properly and does not know it. How can you help her? Mention to your parents about the audition and the fact everyone is laughing at her.
Mention that your friend thinks she is amazing but in reality has no singing, acting or other talent. Your folks might be able to speak to hers and have them talk to her. I would not try to point this out to her on your own. You would be liable to lose a friendship or if she is the hitting kind wind up socked. Talent and the lack of it is a sensitive issue to some.
Why is she is denial of all this much like American Idol contestants? She hears what she thinks is the perfect pitch and not the proper one. It cannot be fixed, she probably will never be able to sing and that is okay.
I think you should approach the teacher that put on the auditions. Mention how your friend thinks she is great etc, etc. and is tone deaf, cannot sing, act--thinks she's perfect etc. Let that teacher know your friend is the butt of jokes and you want it stopped.
Perhaps this teacher can tactfully take her aside, talk to her, and prove to her that she is tone deaf but has other useful talent that people will be looking for. Perhaps if she helps your friend discover a hidden talent nobody else has this will work. Be sure to request anonymity on this one. Good luck!
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im about 5'1 and i weigh around 130 or more...
this isnt very proportional, but whats the best way to loose weight, fast, but without much time on your hands? (link)
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Number one never try to diet or lose weight without seeing your doctor. they will calculate your Body Mass Index and put you on a path to success in shedding excess weight. Next, you need that same doctor to find you a nutritionist.
They will help you with a healthy diet that removes fats and keeps you trim as well as weigh you every few weeks. That is how I went from 240 to 183 again after a hospital stay where drugs plus increased desire to eat made me balloon. Definitely, you need a doctor and a nutritionist on your ass as well as family.
You could however, join Weight Watchers etc or drink diet shakes like Slim Fast if the doctor approves of it. First of all, you need to see him/her as going about it yourself can be dangerous.
Most people want to lose it all at once or 10 pounds at a time. Understand this as it will save you grief later: 2-3 pounds a week is safe weight loss--more is not. That's info gleaned from a dietitian at a hospital in Toronto.
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okay well im having my friends over for like a small thing for my birthday.Were going to the movies then back to my house, do you have any suggestions on what to do for about 6 girls that are 14 and 15? i would really appreciate it if anyone could help me out, could you guys please help me by friday (thats when my party is happening) thank you!
(link)
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Well, there is a new DVD trivial pursuit out about famous movies and television shows. Depending upon your knowledge that may prove fun. What can work out well is buying a murder mystery interactive game and each play characters from it.
This gets people talking, interacting etc. There would be enough for six unique characters in said game. My problem is I do not know you well enough to say what would complete click with your friends.
I know around here all one needs to do for boys is break out the horror movies and for girls break out the tear jerkers for a party of this nature. Regardless of seeing a movie before hand--keep what works going on DVD.
I know it is Friday now so hopefully you see this (time zones being what they are) To see a ton of DVDs with my recommendation visit here http://www.rottentomatoes.com/author-11755/
For theatres do not waste cash on RENT. Everyone has seen Harry Potter (well most of you) so if you want a great movie that will stick with you for a long time after seeing it in theatres see WALK THE LINE.
On Video I recommend Upside of Anger. It's the perfect film for girls and young women about anger, the mother/daughter relationship, and growing up. http://www.koaa.com/features/reeltalk/review.asp?id=1253&ReviewID=1334
I hope this helps you.
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My mom wont let me have a boy friend and im 15 years old. I cant have him over becasue I live in an apartment and theirs only one room that everyone stays in. How can i convince her that im old enough. (link)
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It is not about age and never has been in these situations. It is about maturity. Can you be trusted not to turn wild? Can you handle disapointment, heartache and responsibility? You may think so but a relationship involves a lot of adult decisions and if your mother thinks you cannot hack it she ought to know.
There is nothing you can do to make her change her mind. You might want to introduce the boy in question but her choice is her choice. You may get further here obeying the rules and demonstrating maturity than pleading for what you want. She may also not like him very much you just do not know.
It is maturity not age that should determine whether one can have a boyfriend. Ask her reasons for saying no. You may be surprised but you need honest answers.
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i need help talking to this boy i like.i no for sure he likes me,but we dont no eachother and i want to ask him to go with me or to get his # or something.i need some body to give me like exact words to say,like the whole conversation.and hand gestures too.i am good at being flitatious so i might not ned the hand gestures.i just dont no what to say (link)
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Raise your middle finger and say "bleep you". Seriously, I have no idea what you mean about hand gestures etc to ask someone out. You are not directing traffic or a 747 so relax. Whatever gestures you do naturally just relax about. You do not want to look uncomfortable. Just be who you are.
All you need to do is walk up to him. Say, "I'm (your name here) and I hope to be hearing from you and seeing you more often." Hand him your number and walk away. If he calls you, it means he is interested if he never does you know to move on to someone worthy.
Don't be flirty just hand him the note and deliver the line with a smile and as though it were not a line. If you execute it well who knows what may occur.
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i babysit for this family once in a while & they called me a few days ago to babysit on this coming friday, but i can't. then the lady called today and was like "I know you said you can't babysit, but I am really desprate, so I was wondering if you knew anyone who would be able to?" So I told her I'd ask a few people and let her know if someone could. So I asked a few people, but none of them can either. I feel bad for his lady (even though it's not my fault or problem) but I don't know if I should still call her back. I would feel weird being like "sorry i couldn't find anyone" and leaving her with no one at all, but I would also feel guilty if I didn't call. Should I still call even though I didn't find anyone, & if so, what should I say? (link)
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I would call her. Let her know that you have plans you cannot get out of or you would have taken the job as normal. Let her know you did everything you could to try to find responsible friends to take the job for that evening.
It is up to her to find someone not you so do not feel guilty. Do however, call as guess what? If you did not and she expected a call your job may go to someone else next time.
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15 female... okay well i want to get more intimate with my boyfriend for almost 10 months now. we havent done much more than make out and he feels me up and ive touched his dick over his pants but that pretty much it... whats a good way to make the first move? dont say just do it! i want specifics please
i will rate (link)
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Actually "just do it" would actually be harmful than good. If a girl is too forward or takes the reigns on something sexual than he's left scared not knowing what to do. Instead of pleasing him you might turn him right off with that approach as guys are known to be the initators of intimacy.
What should you do? Well, talk to him openly about sexuality and wanting to go to a higher level. Find out what he can handle, what you can handle and meet half way agreeing to try it one night. Sex and intimacy is best to be planned rather than rushed regardless of how insignificant the act itself.
You have to figure out for yourself first what you can handle happening and how far is too far and you and your boyfriend agree on that and never stray from the plans. I hope this helps you.
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I've got a volunteer job interview with the YMCA. Although it doesn't pay I'm sure the questions will be similar to the ones asked for any paying job. The application was a lot like a regular one.
Are there any tips for what I can do during the interview, and what the questions will be? Thanks. (link)
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Know what your goals in life are. If they ask questions do not ramble. Get in, get out unless they ask you questions that expand on your point. Be well-groomed, bathe etc. Make sure your hair looks right and do not assume they do not expect you to wear dressy clothes (unless you have seen they do not).
Be honest, never build yourself up bigger than you are or bluff. Know for sure what your references will say about you. You might be surprised and you do not need that kind of thing. Remember good posture, never look at your watch.
These people may want someone older than you. If you have the same experience keep mentioning it and peppering them with it. I had to show at 27 I was better than someone 37 etc. You might have to do that throughout life.
Your education is key! Let's say you are in college. The interviewer wants to know all about that and how it is different than the University guy with the degree. (Hands on/not hands on).
Your schooling whether it be high school or higher is important especially if you were learning something other schools were not putting on the curriculum.
Watch how you shake hands--it cannot be vice-like. You also should mention student council duties, activities etc. The bottom line is always why the YMCA? What can you bring to it that they do not already have? What can you do that an older more experienced person couldn't?"
Never sound full of yourself or in a manner where you are in cahrge or look that way inadvertantly. Expect to wait. They always test if you can. Never look destracted.
Biggest tip of all: If they put you near magazines, displays etc read them and take note as they will ask. If two business cards appear with the same name in front of you know the difference (if applying for writing jobs).
If the place seems too stuffy or formal and as if you feel you should not work there do not! Trsut your instinct. I turned down $33,000 CDN as the fit was not right. Never look at it as a money issue.
If you cannot go to a volunteer job or a regular one not sure if you will be treated like crap or fired for not following proper dress code look elsewhere. The fact they wanted your talent roves something.
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Ok My So called best friend Amber (as you have probably herd recent stories) beyrayed me!. Well I came to school this morning and she was like "Omg! The worst thing happend this morning! It's even worse than Billie Joe Armstrong Dying!" and I was like "What?" And she said "Plzzzzz don't be mad at me! Plzzz!" and I said "WHAT???" and she said "I woke up this morning liking Kody (MY EX THAT I LIKE!!)." and I was like "What!?!?" and she said "I Don't Know! I just Do!" and to make it worse she asked him out without me knowing and he said he would think about it. So they flirted and they talked and poked each other and Finally she asked him again and he said he didn't know. So she said forget it. And he used to talk to me cause we went for the friend deal and now because of her he ignores me! I Don't Know What I did Wrong!! He used to flirt with me ALL the time. So I made up this story that I Might be moving and when we were walking out to the bus I was like "Its SOOO COLD!!!" and He was like "Its not as cold as its gonna be in ________(the place)." and I was like "Yeah" so..... WTF is up with him! I Never done anything to him! (link)
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I am straight forward and tough but this will help you see what you will not allow yourself to.
You went out with this guy and then broke up. You have no claim to him whether you want him back or not. He is fair game for any female who likes him and he can move on and date anyone he pleases. Is everyone against you? Hell no.
They have moved on since the breakup and he is looking for other people and not you. It happens all the time. Your friend is human and full of hormones. She knew/knows she liked him and cannot hide that anymore. He likes her and they will date. That is fine and again not against you. It does not make her a traitor it makes her someone in love that cannot hide it.
Firthermore, your friends do not need your permission or input on whom they date. Sure it would have been nice if she waited a while etc. but people have moved on. You haven't yet and you must accept he does not want you in a romantic way.
Why are you not able to act like friends? Ask him, ask her. They feel awkward around you and you them. He has moved on, you haven't and it is your friend he is dating.
They do not want to be around you as a couple as you have not moved on in your life, see him as a friend and find someone else. It will be hard to move on I know but you have to get it he is no longer with you, your friend didn't do anything wrong, and you have to find someone else and forget romance as happening with him again.
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Other than a dictionary definition, without using the word to define it, can anyone explain what truth really is? Thanks in advance, will rate 4 or higher. (link)
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2+2=4 That is Truth. Truth is something people may try to eraase, bury, deny but it is that which is concrete that cannot be destroyed. 2+2=4 will always be fact no matter if people come along after us that do not know math. It is that which is set in something even deeper than stone. I hope this helps. It's a metaphysical way of looking at it but that's where I was taught about Truth.
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my period is late by a few days which is really weird for me because i usually get it right on time. basketball season started up this month & i was wondering if it was because of that. my mom said that if you exercise a lot & you haven't exercised that much in awhile, that could be the reason. what are some other reasons?? idk if i should worry er not. i guess i should wait a few days & go to the doctor if i dont get it?? any ideas??
thanks!! (link)
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Okay, your mom is wrong first off. You can exercise til your ass falls off onto the ground and will do nothing but make you tired. It cannot and does not affect your menstrual cycle.
I am not sure what would make it late but perhaps if you understood what each step of the cycle is/does you will figure it out. See www.scarleteen.com and read this http://www.scarleteen.com/body/ontherag.html It's everything a girl needs to know about menstruation and why tings happen/don't happen when etc.
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I'm 19/m
I've never masterbated before, and honestly I've never had an urge to.. Am I abnormal? (link)
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Good question and one that should be moved to the front page. There are lots of people who feel abnormal for doing it and or that 99% do. The truth of the matter is you all need to relax. Whether you do it or not really is not that big of a deal.
You are "normal" whatever that means. What is normal for one is not for another. It's okay not to masturbate and if you get nothing out of it or do not feel the urge that is perfectly fine.
There as many people who do, are on the fence, or who do not masturbate so you are fine and in good company either way. Relax! There is nothing wrong with not having urges to do it anymore than there is to have the urges.
Do what is feeling right for you and forget the fear of being abnormal. In fact your question is odd in a sense as so many write in feeling strange for doing it and having urges. Both parties need to calm down.
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ok....i'm 19 and.about a year and a half ago, me and this guy chad started dating but i had to move a few months later so we broke up becuase we had to, not because we wanted to. then i come back home to visit some of my friends about 3 months later and hes dating one of my best friends, which i thought i was ok with. she felt bad. but then the past few months i realize how much i still love him and he talks to me all the time and calls me baby and cutie and i know for a fact he still wants me back and if i were to move back home we could be together but i dont want anything to happen to my friendship but i love this guy with everything i have. what do i do? (link)
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This is easier than you think it is. There is an unspoken code that is universal between friends 1) You never say anything bad about their relationship and 2) If you are in love with their partner never show it publically and where it will hurt, get back to them etc.
Obey the code! You are screwed if you show feelings for this guy in front of her or let it be known. If he wants to be with you he knows what to do and to break it off. Even then give her a grace period of a month or two before jumping all over the opportunity.
Their relationship will disolve on its own for now sit back and do nothing or risk losing both. Also, you mentioned living too far away for this guy anyways without moving back. I would wait and see what develops here as he may prove not to be worth it for you and or your friend.
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I'm a christian, but I have only gone to church about like 5 times in my entire life. (I'm 15 by the way). I've never read the bible, and I know almost little to nothing about it at all. LAtely, I've been feeling awful because I never grew up with god in my life. My parents don't like to go to church. I don't want to make this a big thing. Are there safe resources online I can look up for information? (link)
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Hi,
The following Web site allows for all kinds of questions to be asked as well as articles and is not pushing a denomination. You can access bible study lessons there as well that may serve as a helpful guide to you. http://www.spirituality.com
There is also a Web site for books, speaches, collections on spirituality by some of the deepest teachers around. www.thebookmark.com
As far as sudying different religions I recommend besides the above site to stay offline. Online is usually where you will find zealots etc and those shoving their beliefs upon you or making you feel uncomfortable or scared.
I would go to any library and ask the librarian where to get started on religious studies. Then I would read more and go to a church service to find what you are best suited to believe. Religion should be your chpice not your parents necessarily.
I am not ultra-religious myself but have been to lectures, trips to conferences in the past in Boston. You may want to try cssentinel.com and csjournal.com too. Not pushing anything here on you but those are the spirituality links I know.
Like I said, go around to the catholic, baptist, mormon, methodist churches and see what you feel you ought to believe. Find out about all the religions including judiasm etc on your own. The search should not be an ordeal but rather one of enlightenment.
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Hey, My Friend who just moved from georgia is going out with this guy that i really like. She is going to introduce him to me soon because she wants me && him to be friends. I am soo jealous of her and im madly in love with this guy. What should I do ? please help me and gimme all the advice you got !!! ♥
(link)
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I am sure you have heard the phrase "I am damned if I do and damned if I do not." In this case you are damned for sure if you show outward signs of love and or lust for this guy. You also may feel damned because he cannot be yours right now. How can you win here?
Simply put the way to win here is become his friend and get to know him so well and what irritates as well as interests him about her. When things go on the rocks there then you can use what you know to successfully reel him in.
Be sure if that happens that your friend is over him enough. For now though be the friend and sit back and see what becomes of their relationship and note wht did not work etc.
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