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Me and my boyfriend ((PLEASEE help)) ill rate
okay, so this guy i am "together with" which means we are pretty much going out without the label. anyway, he says he likes me alot, but doesnt think we would be able to have a relationship because he doesnt think i would want him to finger me, or i wont give him head. and the truth is, i just think it would be akward.. but ive gone out with him before.. and i really want a relationship with him.. he doesnt want to have sex with me.. just do everything else. but ive never given anyone head, and ive never been fingered.. im 14.. and i didnt think i should be doing that stuff.. what should i do?
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If you think you shouldn't be doing it..then that should tell you something. You shouldn't be doing those kind of things your only 14.
If you don't wanna do it then tell him that.. If he REALLY loves you then he will understand. And tell him the truth.
But if you wanna do it. Then tell him that you've never done it so he doesn't think that you know what your doing.
hope i helped..
xo0x
MENiNA*
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i would dump that asshole
if the only reason he will go out with you is if he can finger hima dn u give him head that is sooooo abusing,get out if that relationship fast girl, soon he could try to force you to do that stuff
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Your "boyfriend" may not want you just for sex, but it's a possibility. He could just want to take the next step in the relationship, try something new with someone he trusts, or just have some fun. It's really your decision what to do, just make sure you know why he wants to do it. The first time you do something like that will be awkward no matter what age you are. If you are in any way UNCOMFORTABLE however don't do it. My advice is to talk to him and try to figure out what's going through his mind. If you're okay with it maybe it's something you should do. Even if you don't end up with this guy it's like good practice or something. Anyways, I can't tell you what to do, but I hope at least a little of this helped you in some way. Good luck!
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Tell him that you like him alot and that your not ready for that kind of stuff yet .. hopefully he will understand !!
kaitlyn j0*
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Yeah. You are right. You shouldn't be doing those kind of things your only 14, same with me i'm fourteen and yeah.. but me i think i'm way to young.
If you don't wanna do it then tell him that.. If he REALLY loves you then he will understand. And tell him the truth.
But if you wanna do it. Then tell him that you've never done it so he doesn't think that you know what your doing.
i hope i really helped.
-love.
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If you aren't comfortable with that stuff you really should wait, and if he's a cool guy he would be ok with that and chill out about it. Doing everything but sex is also pretty serious stuff and can really mess with your emotions if you aren't ready or not in a relationship that is good for you, and someone pressuring you to do stuff is not cool at all. tell him you want to wait until you are ready and if he's not able to deal with that, then you have your answer as to what kind of guy he is.
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Most girls your age are willing to try that because they are curious about sexuality and their bodies. First of all, good job! Not many girls would have the courage to say no. I would wait for someone better to come along that won't force you into this stuff. Trust me, he's out there. Hope I helped!
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Relationships are not about fingering and blow jobs, so tell him to fuck off.
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Im 14 too, and that guy you are "sort of dating" is a loser. He JUST WANTS YOU FOR THAT. He says he doesnt want to have sex, but if he is pressuring you to be fingered and give him head then he is going to pressure you for a LOT of other stuff too. Find someone that wants you for you, not your sex.
Hope it Helps!
<333,
Melanie
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Coming from a fourteen year old who, yes, has done that kind of stuff, it's not awkward. If you're with a guy you love. And it doesn't make you a whore, unless you're doing it to every guy you see.
Honestly, I've talked to a few guys and I can see his point of view. If a guy is used to getting and giving, that's going to be hard for him to just stop. Once you get it it's hard not to want it, even a little bit. But if he can't wait for you until you are ready, then move on to someone who can.
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if you dont wanna do something, dont do it! obviously this guy is looking for someone that will, thats why he doesnt think the relationship would work out. dont give in to get him...your a smart girl, dont do somthing like that. <3
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If you don't want to give him head, you shouldn't. You need to be with someone who has the same moral principals and values as you - meaning, they feel the same way in most aspects - especially sexuality - as you.
You and I are both fourteen, it's a good age. ;) My boyfriend is sixteen, we've not even kissed. There's no way that we're going to do all that other stuff - that would, in my opinion, be more than awkward. Embarrassing is a better word!
If you don't feel comfortable with the idea of giving head, or being fingered, then you need to make that clear. If he really likes you, he will understand and wait until you're older and more ready. If he doesn't want to wait, then, sad to say, he wasn't worth it anyway.
Most girls who have had sex early on regret it. You don't want to regret anything about your childhood and teenage years, do you? You're only young once - yes, but once you're out of your teens, you are legally responsible for anything and everything you do, and you are (hopefully) wise enough to make good choices.
I recently met a young mom in a museum. Her baby boy had what is commonly referred to as "Elephant man disease." Despite his deformed face, I found the child to be quite lovely. He was so happy and carefree, good natured and gentle. He smiled and laughed a lot. He and his mother were in the museum three hours, and he never once cried even one tear. He was quiet, the only noise he made was laughter. Sadly, he will not be accepted in our society because of his facial features. He seemed to be a bright child, and would probably do well in school, when old enough. It was apparent that his mother loved him, even though he was not perfect. Every young mom dreams of having a perfect, beautiful baby - we all do. That's just what we want. We want a healthy, beautiful, normal baby. Even though this child was not perfect or 'normal,' his mom loved him. That's real love.
I read an article about a man and a woman who'd been married for 15 years. They had 3 lovely children, a nice house, two good cars, great friends, everything in their life seemed perfect. The man was a firefighter, the woman was a stay-at-home mom. One day, the man was terribly injured in a fire. He lost both ears, his nose, one arm, two fingers off his other hand, several toes and all his hair. There was little healthy tissue left on his body. 75% of his body had third degree burns. He did recover, though he didn't look the same. However, his wife stayed with him. She loved him, and so did the children. He even went back to work as a firefighter, though a fire almost took his life. His wife was supportive and caring throughout the whole ordeal. In fact, after the fire, the man and woman went on to have a fourth child. That's love.
My pastor told me a story about a couple he talked to once. They came in for marriage counseling, before their wedding. The man kept referring to how beautiful his bride-to-be was, how lovely her figure was and the like. The pastor had a slight inkling that the man was not truly in love, he was in lust. To see if he was correct, the pastor asked the young man if he would still want to marry and live with his bride-to-be if she were badly injured and disfigured in an accident of some kind. The young man could not answer. He did not love the woman for her mind, he loved her body. The woman broke off the engagement.
You need to know, does this boy like you for your mind, or for your body? If he's simply infatuated with your body, he will not be willing to wait for you. He will simply want a sexual relationship, and if you're not willing to give it to him, he won't wait. However, if he likes you for your mind, he'll be willing to wait for you - he will go out with you but won't pressure you to have a sexual relationship with him when you're still so young.
You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't mess it up! You'll have between 25-40 years to make up for the 18 or so you that you weren't in a sexual relationship. It seems much wiser to me to wait for the right one. When you wait until you're married, you don't have to worry about a baby that won't have a father, STDs, HIV, AIDS and the like - because you're only having sex with one person, and that one person with you. There's no room for a disease because neither you nor your partner would've gotten one. The results are worth the wait.
You make up your mind for yourself, but is that boy going to stay with you for a long time? Or would he just do stuff with you until he got bored and then move on? Make a wise decision.
-FunnyCide
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sweetie hes using you. dont do anything with him. if you havent done anything like that with a guy the last thing you want is for your first time to be with someone who is using you. trust me sweetie. it will only hurt ya.
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Regarding the sex part, that's YOUR personal opinion. If you don't think you should be doing it, then don't. It's that simple.
As far as the relationship, there's no reason you can't have a relationship and not be doing anything sexual. That shouldn't affect whether or not there's a relationship.
♥ Melissa
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your right you shouldnt be doing that stuff at 14.if sex is all he wants then just stay away.wait a couple years to see if he grows up.if he doesnt then move on to someone else.
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Well,
Let me say this.. just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean you have to.
Following the crowd, doesn't help. Nobody is going to think more of you if they know you've done sexual oriented mumbo jumbo.
Expecially at 14. I'm a sixteen year old.. And I've never done anything of the sort. I'm holding off, which should turn out for the better.
If he really enjoys being with you, he won't pressure you into do anything of the sort. If you have worries about this, go to him. Talk to him about it. Make sure that that isn't all he wants you for.
Don't rush to grow up. Enjoy what you can, while you can.
God bless.
-Hailie
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Well first off, any guy that says you can't have a relationship because he doesn't think you can be sexual with him just means he wants to get some and he doesn't care about the whole relationship thing. I do not recommend trying to change for this guy because you shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable. but if you really like him then you need to tell him that you feel uncomfortable but you still really like him. if he is worth having, he iwll understand
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He is trying to pressure you into doing shit. Don't listen. Fourteen year olds -shouldn't- be giving head/getting fingered. It makes you seem like a whore.
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