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T0 D0 OR N0T T0 DO =/
14/F i am really confused rite now i have this boyfriend who is id say about 3 years older than me [ 17 ] hes a senior im a freshman & hes not a virgin and whatnot and i am . . we`ve been goin out for almost 5 months and hes starting to hint around that he mite want to mess around or somethin and the whole idea really makes me nervous considering hes my first real relationship & considering hes had more experiance than me and i am absolutly clueless . . hes never asked anythin be4 and im afraid that if maybe i dont do anything he mite break up with me . ? or something but i think its more of the fact that im nervous . what do you think i should do?
- confused & clueless
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ok if you think that your comfortable with the idea then go for it. but by the sounds of things your definetly not. if you think he might dump ya for not havin sex ith him , then chances are hes not the one that you would want for your first time. Although people can make a really big deal outta sex, when your that young and it is your first time , then maybe you should consider waiting. If he truly cares for you then he will be fine iwth waiting too. if he is an ass about it then chacnes are things arent gunna last very long. and if he knows that your a vrigin he really shouldnt care. if he does like you then he would be fine with that and be respectfull of that and not push you into things that your not ready for.
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if he might break up with you for not doing stuff with him; then this guy is lame! if you're not ready for anything more than what you're doing now; then DON'T DO IT. you'll regret it later if you give into the pressure.
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You answered your own question...if you think he might break up with you because you dont mess around with him then...you shouldn't be with him. I know that may sound like something your mom or dad might say...but come on. If you aren't ready and he can't respect that now...then what else...whats to far...Be careful...seriously. Be nervous...thats normal...completely normal. I was so nervous my teeth chattered...but my boyfriend tried hard to relax me...and he did. But I still was beyond nervous. I still get nervous and we've been sleeping together...for over a year now. Your nerves might just be a way or telling you how much you care for him...but it is also very normal. I think you should wait until you're sure.
*WovenLynx*
Hope I helped
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Confused & Clueless..
Well first of all if he breaks up with you for not doing anything with him then he's not a good guy for any female.. 5 months isnt a real long steady relationship in my opinion even tho its your first decent relationship doesnt me its going to last forever.. you will know when your ready to do stuff with him.. maybe start out slow with the kissing and stuff then move on to what ever.. just give yourself time your still young and everything.. ♥ Dez
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First of all, if you have ANY DOUBT AT ALL [which you obviously do, no offense meant] then DON'T DO ANYTHING YOU AREN'T COMFORTABLE WITH!! If he doesn't want to be with you because you won't do anything with him, then you shouldn't be wasting your time with him. Tell him you aren't comfortable and you aren't ready; if he's a good guy, then he'll be fine with it.
♥ Melissa
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You should be confident that even if you were to say nno, he won't break up with you, or else he's not the right person. If it feels right to you you wouldn't be here asking for our advice, you would just kinda know it.
Anyways, if you do hesitate, and he gets kinda pissed, that's a surefire sign that he might not be a keeper. But five months IS a long time to wait for sex, he could have just gone to a easier girl and got it on a first date, so he may be a bit more sensitive. Just be careful hun!
-Siobhan
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First, learn how to spell, then you can think about having sex.
Also what kind of loser is this guy to be dating a 14 year old?
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hun, first i say that if you are nervous about havind sex than you shouldn't because thats just how you feel. if he breaks up with you just because of that than he didnt really like you in the first place. also i personally think that you should be at least 17 to have sex but than again thats just my oppinion. last you need to think, what if you get pregnat or get STD's. i know you are saying that we are going to have safe sex but what if the condom breaks or whatever! all im just sayin is follow your heart and if you want to do i than do it but if your dont, dont let him pressure you into doing something your dont want to do!
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He's too old for you. That's just gross.
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Well if your not ready to do it with him then dont, i mean i know how that feels lol but if he's going to break up with you because you wont do stuff with him then thats not right . . Sryy i hope i helped a little*
..haley*
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If you are confused or unsure you want to do something in the least bit sexual throw up the RED FLAG. Tell him straight up "I really like you and or love you but sex is something I am not ready for and I am not ready for X, Y, Z either."
If he does not respect you and your decision he can pack up and get out. Do not ever compromise yourself for someone who wants sex and then will ditch you. Be strong in your convictions.
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you should not do anything that you don't feel comfortable doing.
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If you feel he might break up with you because you don't wish to have sex with him then you should DEFINATELY NOT HAVE SEX WITH HIM.
Don't you want your first time to be with someone who loves you? Would someone who loves you dump you for not being ready to have sex?
This is not the kind of topic you should tiptoe around, and rely on hints and jokes to try and figure out his feelings. Ask him straight out what he wants and be ready to tell him exactly what you are ready for. If you are not ready, nothing he says should change your mind. This is not about him, or even you as a couple, it is about you and only you. Take care of yourself first and foremost. If he dumps you over this, consider yourself lucky.
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You say that you are afraid he might break up with you if you don't have sex with him.
Think about this for a second though... If he would break up with you over that, then he doesn't really love you, does he? Love means that he would stay with you no matter what. If he leaves you because you won't have sex, that's not love. He was just wanting you for what your body parts could do for him.
Bottom line: If he loves you, he'll wait. If he won't wait, then he doesn't really love you, and you should be glad to find out now so you can move on and find someone who does love you.
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I think that you should not do anything you are not ready for.
If he tires to do something with you that you are not comfortable with tell him if hes a true boyfriend he will understand.
♥
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