well i got into a fight with a friend of mine, something she did really hurt me, but it isnt something so horrible that i want to end the friendship over it, basically this would all be solved with an appology but im not sure how to go about this. its been two days and i havent talked to her since then, so should i need help on what to do, should i wait until she IMs/calls me and appoligizes or should i do something else? 18/m if that matters at all
karenR answered Thursday August 11 2005, 1:33 pm: I think it would be okay to talk to her calmly about whatever happened. Hopefully she will offer up an apology herself. Let her know it hurt you but you are willing to forget about it. :) [ karenR's advice column | Ask karenR A Question ]
save_the_faires answered Thursday August 11 2005, 12:44 am: well if she ddi something to you, you shouldnt apoligize to her she should be apoligizing to you but you might want to give her a call and tell her that what she did hurt you and that you still wan to be friends and then she may apoligize to you..im a girl and sometimes we dont really like to apoligize first. [ save_the_faires's advice column | Ask save_the_faires A Question ]
kelsbo05 answered Wednesday August 10 2005, 10:34 pm: I went through this with a friend of mine. she hurt me really bad, but i still wanted to be friends. I went over to her house and told her how i felt but i NEVER said i was sorry. It's not your fault so dont appoligize. she will advintually see that your a good friend and that she shouldnt have done that. [ kelsbo05's advice column | Ask kelsbo05 A Question ]
x_pink_x109 answered Wednesday August 10 2005, 9:11 pm: Hey!
I'm going to tell you now...
DON'T call and apoligize if SHE did something to YOU. If you did something first, you may want to do that or if you did something really bad back, you can also. But if you apoligize to her for something SHE did, she's going to start fighting with you even more because she knows you'll come back to her, no matter what. I really think you should CALL her, but DO NOT apoligize.
This was not your fault so you shouldn't have to take the blame. She should call you if she haas any conscience at all. Call her and say that what she did was wrong but you, finding a place in your heart for her, want to be her friend again! Tell her that you WILL not apoligize for something SHE did and if she chooses, she may apoligize. Tell her sorry but ONLY if YOU did something to her too like yell at her or say something really mean that may have hurt her feelings. Tell her how much you care about her and how much you miss her and you hate living every day without your best friend calling every second. :-) Tell her that you want to be her friend but if she does anything like this again, SHE'LL have to call if you wants YOU back... There is an old saying (you've probably heard it) that goes like "Burn me once, shame on you. Burn me twice, shame on me." What this means is that if someone stabs you in the back ONCE, you weren't expecting it so you don't know. But if you accept that person and basically forgive him/her and trust him/her again, and they do it again, it's YOUR fault because you didn't see it coming when you should have. Don't let her burn you twice. This is the last straw and if she does it again, you may forgive her but you will NOT call her. You have to be straight with her. You have to tell her these things, only if she agrees to be your friend.
I really hope this advice helps. I HAVE been in your shoes, except MY best friend stabbed me in the back countless times and I kept going to HER BEGGING for forgiveness. Me and her are currently not speaking and will never talk to each other again. Don't let that happen to you. You have to be tough and know that I am here for you to answer any questions you may have... any updates, as well. I would LOVE to get an email from you, saying everything went well and you rae speaking to her again. Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org or drop one in my inbox.. I would love to hear from you. I want to know how this goes and if I helped even the least bit. I would feel relived if you emailed me with good news about your friend. You can email me ANY time of the day. I check it every day so you WILL definitly get a reply within 24 hours, probably even within 16 or 17 hours.
rosebud_01 answered Wednesday August 10 2005, 8:58 pm: Why don't you try to call her and see if she will listen to you. Once you have done that tell her your side of the story and that you don't want what ever happened between the two of you to stop you from being friends. I hope that I helped you but if not you can visit me at my advice column. [ rosebud_01's advice column | Ask rosebud_01 A Question ]
Erinn_the_bamf answered Wednesday August 10 2005, 8:19 pm: I think what you need to do is call her and talk about this with her. Tell your side of the story and ask for hers. Then you can figure it out. If you owe her an appoligy give it to her. If it wasn't a misunderstanding wait for her to come around and give you an appology. I know talking about seems very Full House but it's the best way to become friends again. I hope I helped! [ Erinn_the_bamf's advice column | Ask Erinn_the_bamf A Question ]
ADViCEx4xY0U answered Wednesday August 10 2005, 6:46 pm: I would either wait for her to come to you & apologize. After all, she is the one that hurt you. Or I would try talking to her & just tell her that what she did really hurt you, but you don't think it's something to ruin your friendship over & maybe then she'll apologize. I hope everything works out with your friendship! If you need anything else just leave it in my inbox.
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