|
HE BROKE MY TRUST
my boyfriend of 7 months got drunk the other night and planned on hiding it from me. i found out from someone else who was there. my boyfriend always promised & swore that he would never drink and how stupid he was. he ended up getting drunk with his friend and when i found out, i gave my boyfriend soooo many chances to confess and tell me the truth and he didnt. later he finally admitted it and i was so outraged that i broke up with him and told him i never want to see him again, and i hung up. he hasnt tried to call me or fix things up. my friends called him and said he was crying and too afraid to talk to me. i dont want to call him first...but should i forgive him? he broke my trust.
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
Show up at his door, and ask him to talk. First, give him a chance to say everything he has to say -- apologies, whatever. Don't interrupt him. Then ask for his undivided, uninterrupted attention as you do the same. Tell him that you really care about him and that you didn't mean what you said. Tell him it really frustrated you that he lied to you (and yes, witholding the truth is the same as lying). But make sure he knows that you forgive him (I'm assuming you've forgiven him) and you're willing to give him another chance, as long as he's willing to give you one.
♥ Hope I helped.
]
give him a chance... yes he broke your trust and he got drunk... but he's not perfect to always keep the promise he made.. everyone commit mistakes.. and maybe he was too afraid to make you get mad at him that he didnt tell you... forgive him.. give him another chance to prove it to you that you can trust him.. the relationship you had will be such a waste if it will end up just like this... keep in mind that your boyfriend is only a human being and he do commit mistakes... hope i helped...
++extraordinary, but not perfect++
]
Is drinking a serious problem for him? has he done this before? is he an alcoholic? Wait a bit longer i think for him to apologize again and try to patch things up. Perhaps set a consequence or something for if he does it again. Or maybe you should just let things be. If it's a serious problem, help him thruogh it, but that isn't to say you should go out with again. Do you know why he got drunk? does he have family issues or problems in his life right now? it could be he just made a mistake. I'm not there, so i'm not really one to say, but i think i'd give it a little mroe thought before severing all ties.
Good luck
Panda
]
If you really like him and want this to work then go ahead its up to you. Im not gonna tell you what to do or not do not me not your bf or anyone else but you. Think really think take some time. good luck
]
I think you should call him back and talk to him a little and ask why he lied to you. Tell him that if you want the relationship to work, he has to be honest with you all the time. If he does it one more time, then I don't think you should forgive him. Hope I helped.
]
Honestly, yes I think you should call him and tell him how it is if he wants to still be with you. And if he disagree's with anything I think you should find better. Because he lied, broke your trust becuase of it. Yeah I don't think he has any room to disagree on anything you say at this moment. But I'd still call him and see what's happening and ask if he's sorry and if he is ask him why. Hope I helped.
Buh Bye,
ShanN*<3*
]
Maybe you should give him another chance!! But i dont think it was right that he didnt say anything for a while!! He should of said something!! I think he really likes you tho!! Maybe you should call him back!! But i think he should of called you back first!! I hope things work out and i hope i helped!! *~*MUAH*~*
]
You should forgive him. People make mistakes and that's a part of life. If you rely on people all the time to come through they'll almost always fail you. Put your faith in Jesus and he'll never let you down. Plus you can't be forgiven of your sins if you don't forgive others. That's what the Bible says. In addition to that you never know when you'll mess up and need someone to forgive you and show you mercy.
-God Bless
Jesus IS The Way
]
You should forgive him. People make mistakes and that's a part of life. If you rely on people all the time to come through they'll almost always fail you. Put your faith in Jesus and he'll never let you down. Plus you can't be forgiven of your sins if you don't forgive others. That's what the Bible says. In addition to that you never know when you'll mess up and need someone to forgive you and show you mercy.
-God Bless
Jesus IS The Way
]
okay.. If he does this occassionally, like everytime he goes out with his friends, you cant find out information directly from him, you have to go to his friends to find out whether he was drinkin or not...then thats a probem and i say no... but if hes done this once or twice.. i would say forgive him. If hes too 'upset' to talk to you though.. thats an issue. Is the friend that told you this reliable? because if not, maybe s/hes trying to get you back into a situation you might not want to be in (such as going back out with your boyfriend, after he makes numberous promises to you, and breaks them...) if its one of your close friends that you trust though, belive them. And instead of calling him, why dont you go over to his house. talking in person is always btter because that way you can get how hes really feeling/his emotions...if he is sorry for what hes done, i would stay with him... but i understand where your coming from, when youre lied to on numberous accounts, and dont know what to do... but i say just go talk to him in person, find out WHY he lied to you (was it because he knew youd be upset, or was it becasue he was afraid youd tell his parents, theres so many reasons...) and once you get his reasoning, you need to choose whether or not to forgive him.. this is a hard situation, but i know youll be able to figure it out soon enough!! good luck (sorry im not of much help...)
]
yeah but you should make him earn his trust back but you let him call you cuz if you dont then he will think he can do it again and you will just call him and be like ohh its ok never do it again so let him call you well hope i helped and if you have ne more questions just drop em in my inbox
~kelly (plz rate me)
]
If you want him back you need to call him and let him know. Chances are, even if he's upset, he's MAD and hurt too because you probably hurt him. Just call him and talk to him and explain why you're so mad, chances are he doesn't even understand why you're angry enough to throw away a 7 month relationship. Good luck!
<b>♥</b> Melissa
]
if you still love him and want him back then yes i think you should call him first. when you call him there might be a good chance that he will turn from sad to mad. so maybe tell him that you miss him and that even though he did make a big mistake you made a bigger one. that will tell him that you still have feeling for him and want him back.
~~~hope i helped
~~~~plez rate
***~funkymunky~***
]
what i think you should do is give him time to think about what he has done. You might feel bad for him but really he should feel bad for you. He shouldn't of kept that from you. I think you should wait till he calls you. Than tell him that you need time to think and once you have done that i think by then u can tell him if you want to date him still. I can't tell you if you should forgive him. If i was in you situation i would have to have a lot of time to think.
~I hope this turns out for the best~
]
This is a tough one. To be honest, you seem to be overreacting a little - unless there's something more that you didn't mention. For example, is your ex-boyfriend an alcoholic? Or does alcoholism run in his family? Getting drunk once doesn't seem like such a terrible offense.
Of course, if you both share strict religious strictures against drinking, that would change things.
I understand that you're more upset about him lying to you, than about the drinking. Trust is the issue, and that's very important.
But you are, or were, his *girlfriend* - not his mother. So it may have been unfair of you to set that condition on him. Experimenting once with alcohol is not such a terrible thing to do, as long as no one was hurt.
It sounds as if he really loves you. But there seem to be some problems in your relationship. He's afraid to talk to you, and you put a restriction on him that seems out of place in a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship...it's not healthy. A relationship should be between equals, with give and take - and trust - on both sides.
I'm a big fan of true love, and I like to see relationships work out. I also understand why boys (and girls) lie sometimes. It sounds as if he loves you...but do you love him? I think you need to give that some very serious thought (I'm sure you already have), and if you decide to give it another try, you might want to consider couples therapy. Or at the least, spend more time talking with each other about your relationship, and really LISTENING to what each other has to say.
Good luck!
]
More Questions: |