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guy problems
okay so this guy and i have been hanging out a lot. he tells me he likes me, and says he wants to ask me out, but he still hasnt, he told me he was waiting for he right time...well i think he likes his ex gf, bc i was lookin at his phone and he had text messages for her...adn he said she just got a bf, and even tho he doesnt have feelings for her, its ripping him apart. ive already done a lot with him, which is pretty unusual for me, bc i have such a hard time trustung guys...yesterday he expected me to do tuff with him, and when i told him i didnt want to he figured something was wrong...i really like him... more then anyother guy ive ever liked... but i have no idea what to do about him... any ideas?? please help!!
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It seems to me like maybe he might just be using you to do stuff. Because if the fact that his ex-girlfriend has a new one and it's ripping him apart, then it seems to me like he might have not completly moved on and he might still have feelings, because even though he said he didn't, he might still, hence the whole "waiting for the right time to ask you out" thing. He might be waiting for the right time because he's waiting until he gets over his ex. What I suggest is to not do anything with him anymore and see what happens. If he doesn't talk to you and want anything to do with you, then he's probably just using you for stuff, and I'd suggest not talking to him anymore cause that would be really rude of him. But if he still talks to you and stuff, he just really might be waiting for the right time to ask you out. So see what happens, and how he reacts to everything. If you want to talk to me more about all of this, please just IM me at:
MELii x MARiiE
... I hope I helped!
Love,
MELii
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Well I would tell him how much you feel for him. and ask him if the real reason why he hasnt asked you out is because he still has feelings for his ex. You should prepare yourself for the answer though. If he says no, and asks you out dont say yes right away because even though he says he doesnt have feelings for his ex you have to convice yourself he doesnt. Your feelings for him will always be the same. {i know how it is} but you two really need to talk and ask him about the text messages. I hope everything works out! if u have anymore questions just ask me.
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Why don't you talk to him about it! Tell him how you feel about these text messages im sure he'll move on to u! have fun, good luck, and be safe!
much luv
steph
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I have been through the exact same situation, no lie! So I can totally relate. My ex bf is now dating my best friend, and I found that very upsetting even though I definently have no feelings for him. But I have a bf too so I got over the issue and I'm fine. But him on the other hand, a whole different story. Once he found out I had a bf he flipped out. He kept IMing everyday and emailing me telling me that my bf is gonna cheat on me, is going to play me, and is going to dump me once he gets something from me. And it pissed me off that he was saying all of this because he has never met my bf and he knows nothing about him! So then he ended up spilling his feelings to my sister. He told her that he still has feelings for me and that it's hard to make them go away when now he sees me with someone else and he doesn't want to see me hurt. So here is the deal... He likes you and he definently wants to date you. But one problem: the stuff you do with him. I liked this one guy SO much and he liked me SO much too. And I'm very untrusting of guys but with him I moved into messing around pretty quickly because I felt comfortable and fully trusted him. BIG mistake! He ended up thinking of me as a fling and then everytime we did hang out I felt as if I HAD to mess around with him to keep him coming back to me. And it really hurt having to realize that me moving to fast potentially messed everything up. So what I suggest you do is talk to him about it. Talk to him about his ex gf and about anything else on yours and his mind. Get him to open up. Guys tend to not open up easily, so when you get them to open up about their feelings it helps them form an emotional connection to you. That will help outcast the whole physical connection you two already have. And try to cut down on all the physical stuff. Kissing and making out is fine, but anything more than that shouldn't be done. That will make it seem like thats all your about and could turn what you guys do into an 'everytime you see eachother' kind of thing. This will end up hurting you more than anyone. You will feel used and played because he isn't even dating you. So just cut that down. The easiest way to do this is to hang out at places where you can't do anything else than make out really. Go to the movies, eat out, hang out with a bunch of friends, and then if you guys are alone initiate a deep conversation. Any questions you want answered by him, ask them then. And allow him to open up and spill his feelings about everything. If he does still have feelings for ex don't get offended. Listen to him and try and help him know that you can relate to how he is feeling. Everyone has had a bf or gf that they cared about so much. And even after they had broken up and they were 'over them', once the ex bf or gf had someone else they got jealous and upset. It happens. It doesn't mean that you still like the person necessarily. I'm sure you have been through the same thing. If he opens up about it then feel free to add your imput with your own personal experience. That shows him that you want to relate and be there for him and that you understand his feelings. I hope my advice has really helped you and if you ever need any advice don't hesitate to ask me. Good luck!
~Sherah
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Well...that's weird you are doing stuff with a guy you aren't in a relationship with...but if it makes you happy. Anyways um...ya that's a toughy. Idk because if this guy still "loves" his gf (which he does if he is still thinking about her and caring for her) then he is just using you in a sense to get his sexual ambitions and desires out since they can't be with her. So...you can think of yourself as his tool. I think you should really consider a guy loving you and being in a relationship b4 you end up getting yourself hurt. It happens all the time. If you want more info on help, IM me on aim. garrettg2006
Hope i helped. buh bye
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Yeah you need to give him time. He probably just isnt totally over her yet. He still probly likes you b ut you dont want him to like you just as a method to forget her. So just keep hanging out with him and give him time to get over her. things always workout for the best:)
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It seems to me like he still has feelings for you but he's TRYING to get over his ex-girlfriend. By doing that, he IS still hurting inside... that's is ABSOLUTELY COMPLETELY NORMAL!
There is nothing at all to fear. He still likes you. He WANTS to ask you out but he MISSES the times that he had with his ex-girlfriend. He may miss HER, but he LIKES you! He is trying to get over her and what it means when he is "waiting for the right time" is that after he gets over her, he'll be ALL OVER you! That's the only reason that he hasn't asked you out yet!
Remember, you can email me anytime!
LuV BrItTaNy
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Reading this.. its sounds just like me.. i have the W0RST time trusting guys it is soo hard for.. but what i think you should do.. is sense you really like him // more than any other guy before... you should be there to support him to move on from this ex-girlfriend of his.. i mean i have been in a serious relationship before and it is very hard to move on... just be there and dont be too pushy.. but make sure he does know that you do like him.. and just think that he may kinda still like her.. but she has a boyfriend.. so dont worry too much about that.. and if he likes you and wants to ask you out.. with time he will..its best if yall talk first so you can get your TRUST for him!! - Hope i helped - Katherine.. rate please
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i think thats awesome that you both like eachother, and if hes just waiting for the "right time" to ask you out, give him LOTS of chances.
do lots of things with him like invite him to swim or play fooseball or what ever (if ya have a pool or table) ask if he wants to go to the movies next time you and a bunch of friends are going, same for skating, shopping, bowling, anything. the more chances he has to ask you the more likely it is that he WILL. if you dont wanna keep asking him to come along get one of your friends who is also going along (and who knows him well--his friend too) to ask him to come along. the more he gets to be around you the more he may come to like you and feel more confident that this relationship will come to work better than the last!
hope i helped!!!
<3<3 anne givings
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Gosh. This is a tough one. I think even *I* would be in a dilemma here. I suppose it's because this is just easier SAID THAN DONE, ya know? If HE won't ask YOU out, I think YOU should ask HIM out. However, I think that BEFORE you do this, you should ask him what he's thinking. You can assume his feelings ALLLLLLLLLLLL you want, but you must realize that that's all it will EVER be -- an ASSUMPTION. If you want to know for a FACT what's in his heart, you MUST question him on this. And he won't be mad or angered, because it's a perfectly legitimate question. You're just asking for clarification that he will committ himself to you 130% in this relationship, JUST AS IT NEEDS TO BE, and he will understand this. Tell him all that he means to you; don't be afraid to get deep and personal, as this may enhance your chances with him, and I can tell you admire this guy very much. Hopefully, this will get him to open his eyes and accept all of the beauty and splender he has right infront of him. ♥
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You need to talk to him about him and his ex girlfriend. You need to ask him straight if he still has feelings for her, and if he says no, then just accept what he says and believe him. There isn't really a way you can get it out of him, and if he really likes you like how he says he does, then that is good for the both of you. He's probably just not ready to get into a relationship yet (because he's upset about his girlfriend), and that is why he's waiting to ask you out. Just wait until he is feeling better, and then ask him out. If you're not ready to do "stuff" with him, then tell him that straight. If he can't accept what you don't want from him, then don't be with him. If you have anymore questions about this subject or something else, please leave another message in my inbox.
Hope I helped,
mystical_breeze
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hey girl i think the guy not sure himself wheather he likes you or not.so i guess you have to wait till he decides what he wants.At the same time you stay cool when your with him.have some pride and make sure he respects you.the whole process might take long but be patience maybe he is planing to suprise you.so till then enjoy life.god bless you.
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If his ex dating another is ripping him apart then he still has feelings for her. He may not want to have... but he does. Don't be doing "stuff" with him until you are his girlfriend. You will be setting yourself up for heartbreak if you do.
I think you should remain friends ( no benefits), until he decides he wants to be your boyfriend. Just tell him that you like him, you would like to date him but he needs to get rid of the feelings for his ex before you'll stick your heart out there to be trampled on. :)
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ok hunny heres what you do you just lay low for a while and just keep sending signs that u like him and eventually he will stop liking that ex of his and come back to u so just keep sendin those signs and good luck
david
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well, this story is similar to my problems. I had an ex boyfriend-eric who did just like this, but isnt he was datin sumone else at the same time he was datin me. And i found out and it made me look like a looser! :[ i still have feelings for eric but not alot, we are just friends. So thats probably what the girlfriend is having. cause she still cant forget her ex boyfriend. But she needs to. You should tell the guy you like the problem. He might make you feel better cause you knowing it is him. Eric still text messages me and calls me to go to ice skating and i can neva go ice skatin cuz i am havin a life with friends and even though he calls me, i am not mad or happy-we are just friends...if you feel like they are obbsessed with each other, go for someone else he is probably to good for you anywayz!
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the best thing is just to talk to him...say you know i really like you and all but i think you have feelings for you're ex, and i dont want a guy thats still lingering over an ex.
♥BLAiR
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Well from my perspective it seems as though he is playing games with you, and your emotions. He does stuff with you, but won't ask you out? That, in my opinion, isn't right. But do what you want. Anyway..I think that you should just tell him how you feel, that you think he is still feeling something for his ex, but that you really like him. If he really has feelings for you, he'll ask you out and put his past behind him. I'm sorry if this doesn't help...
Love, Arielle
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Why dont you ask him if he has those feelings for his ex still. If you trust him then belive him but it does take some time to get over your ex. Even if he isnt you need to tell him that she moved on and that he needs to also. If he doesnt start dating other people he will just be upset. Just confort him && ask him whatever you want to know. If he hasnt asked you out yet then I guess he is still waiting for the right time.
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