|
Ex-Girlfriend
ok, my girlfriend's dad died the other day (they were on vacation in Qubec with her, her dad, her mom, & 2 friends) & so she was very upset & so she broke up with me. I understood & said it was ok. & so I bought her a card (witch I'm gonna send once I get her address from her friend) & I'm afraid to call her & everything cos I don't want to talk about it & that'd be the only thing we'd talk about.
but what I'm asking is if I should wait for her to get over it all & maby go back with her, or if I should just move on?
more about our realationship, she lives about 45 mins. away & I haven't been able to see her much & I haven't been the best boyfriend since I'm going through some really hard times right now, but I try
I'm 14/M & shes 14/F
thanks
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
aww, well first of all you should tell her your very sorry for what happened,and i think you should move on,but always keep her in your thoughts and be there for her when you need her. because it will make her feel alot better. and if you dont see her much and havent been the best boyfriend.tell her and say that you both should move on.
hope i helped,Amber
]
Listen, if you're afraid to offer your shoulder for her to cry on after something as traumatic as a parent's death at the age of 14, maybe you shouldn't be with her in the first place. If you understand how it is to be going through things right now, and not being the best boyfriend, maybe you should try to understand that the way that you COULD be a great boyfriend, or even friend, would be to offer her some of your time, because even though you may not want to talk about it, she does, and that would show how much you care.
Hope i could be of some assistance,
Chelsea
]
if you really love her, help her through her hard times and maybe she'll help you through yours. Call her anyways. or meet up with her sometime
]
if you really like her alot and the distance doesnt bother you then give her time and let her come to you first and let her know that your there for her
if you need anything feel free to ask
]
You tRy... that's all that can humanly be expected of you. That's veRy commendable infact, many people would be fine just letting theiR Relationship fall apaRt, but I can tell you Really caRe about this giRl.
Losing a paRent must be haRd; I suppose I couldn't even IMAGINE what she must be feeling. I think it would be a lovely and kind heaRted gestuRe to send heR this caRd. And I know you might not want to talk about it, but maybe it would do heR some good?? Just make shoRe you let heR know that you'Re always theRe foR heR. Honestly, theRe's absolutely nothing you can say to heR that will give back what she has lost, so just let heR know that heR and heR family will be youR thoughts and pRayeRs.
And as faR as youR Relationship goes, if she still wants to put it on hold, then unfoRtunately that's that, ya know??? I don't think you should hang on eveRyday hoping she will change heR mind. And I don't feel it's faiR of youRself to pass something else up that could be tRuly gReat just because you'Re waiting aRound foR heR. That's wondeRful you love heR enough to do so, but it's simply unfaiR to youRself, and i'm shoRe you Realize this. When and if she changes heR mind and is Ready to pRoceed with the Relationship, THAT'S the time to think about it. The way I see it.. if it's MEANT TO BE.. it WILL be... in due time...
I wish you all the best. Hopefully I've been of at least SOME help heRe.
]
If you really love her and think that the relationship can continue I would call and let her know that you care about her and want to be there for her. Make sure she konws that you are always here to talk and do whatyou can to brighten her day. Sometimes when things go wrong girls clam up and push everyone away. And she may be afraid to love you because someone else that she was close to she lost. But If you think that things can work and you really truly like her, i would wait. Let her get settled into her family situation and just stand by her. If things are meant to be, they will happen. Hope i helped!
]
If you really care about her I think you wait a little while and then approach her about going out again. If you want to move on...well, that's OK too. Add a line or two to your card if you want to continue and tell her to call you if you can be of any help to her. I'm sure shes pretty traumatized at the moment.
]
Ok, first off, you need to stop being a wussy. I don't mean that in a bad way, but you need to get over your nervousness, thats only gonna get in the way of what you want to do. Don't send her the card, hand deliver it. Secondly, don't be afraid to call her. She's really upset right now but that means you should call even more. You need to call her and make sure she's ok. You need to show her that you love her and that you understand what a hard time she's going through. If you're going through a hard time yourself then it shows that you care even more. You'd drop your own problems to ask her about hers and just listen. I understand you yourself are going through some rough times, but now you need to pull through even more. She needs someone that help her through this. That you live 45 minutes away is bull. I'm sorry but I lived 2 hours away from my girlfriend (now ex) and we still made it work. Sorry for the length and I hope this helps.
]
This is the time for you to be a friend. You were close and shared alot, and when she is ready, you have to be there for her. Please send the card. When and if she calls, please be there for her. This sort of thing has no time table. Everyone mourns in their own way and their own time. This was very traumatic for your friend.
If it takes a long time, should you move on. Well, you can say you'll move on, but that doesn't necessarily mean that you will find someone you like, and who likes you back. Either way, if and when she calls you or contacts you, then I would at least be open to talking to her, and it is OK to talk about her dad. She will want to. Yes if feels awkward, but it is not like...if you don't mention it, she won't feel bad. She already feels bad. Having an understanding friend is more important. You should say you are "sorry for your loss" and then say something like: "Hey loosing your dad like that must really suck!" And who wouldn't agree with that.
That is a tough one, I hope you both will be OK< together or not. It is thought ful of you to ask about her and how you should handle it.
Michele
]
Don't put your life on pause for her too long, but I do think that you should wait some time for her to heal because losing a loved one can be very tramatic to a person. All you can tell her is that you're there for her whenever you need her, put great emphasis on this, and tell her you're there waiting for her whenever she is ready. If it gets where you're lonely and when you really need that someone, then go on to someone else . IF you decide to do this, let her know that nothings changed when it comes to the fact that you will remain there for her for all times and for anything that she may need. But you can't wait when you need that someone because you deserve that someone as we all. Hope I was some help and have a nice day.
]
It takes a very long time for people to emotionaly heal. Sometimes weeks, sometimes months. And like Donny said, she may be worth the wait, but she might not be. If you think you care enough for her to wait, go for it. If you don't you could regret it.
Distance to me isn't a bad thing. It can even make the time you do spend together more precious. So if you do wait for her, and you do get back together with her, keep in mind that distance is the least of your problems. How much you care for her should really over rule how far away you are.
I wish you the best of luck with this :)And if my 'advise' didn't really help much, i'm totally sorry, but i tried!
Taylor <3
]
You cant just move on just like that. Defenetlly dont. Seems like you really do care about her. All you can do it be there for her. You think that if you call her you will bother her but if you dont she will probablly think that you dont care. So.. call her and just tell her you love her and that you will be there for her whenever. She will appriciate it and I know she still likes you so the only reason she broke up with you is because she is going through a hard hard time and its good that you understand. Sending her a card is really sweet also! ♥// ex_oh
]
ok you need to ask yourself how much you care about her, if you care enough to wait for her, then i would wait, if you dont think it is worth waiting, and maybe you would break up anyway because of the distance then just move on, do you think she is worth the wait?? how long could you really go with the distance? i know i'm just askind questions when i should be answereing them but you are the only one who can answer those questions
good luck
<3 donny
]
More Questions: |