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am i the only one? ='[
I'm 14 and I've never had a boyfriend. Usually it doesn't really bother me but I've seen so many couples who are younger than me and it makes me feel so sad and worthless. I'm ugly and shy and boring so I suppose no boy will ever want to go out with me, and even if a miracle happened and I did get one, I wouldn't really know what to do or what to say =\ People think I'm weird because I've never kissed a boy or even been out with one, I feel so different and frigid =[ I guess I was made to be single but I just want to know what it feels like to be loved.. How am I ever gonna get a boyfriend when I look like I do and I'm as shy as I am? I like this boy at school but he doesn't really like my friends because they're so immature, so he most likely thinks I'm like them and hates me too - I'm not as immature as them though.. Please help? Thanks xx
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Hey. Well I just wanted to tell you you're not the only one. I'm 13 and I've never had a boyfriend before either. Most of the time, that doesn't really bother me, even though I would like to have one sometime. It shouldn't bother you either. It is *not* weird not to have had a boyfriend. Heh. (Maybe I'm saying that cuz I haven't had one either.) But seriously, you shouldn't be so worried about it.
Ok, I'm pretty shy, too, so I guess I would be a hypocrite if I gave you this advice, but oh well. I think that you should try to be as friendly as possible. Wave to people or say hey to them at school when you pass them, even if it's when you're just changing classes. Try asking guys questions about assignments, in class, even if you think you could eventually figure it out. After a while, they'll be asking you things, and you'll be having conversations. You'll learn how to talk more easily with guys if you have guy friends.
"I'm ugly and shy and boring." Ok, you need to have more self confidence in yourself. You are *not* ugly. Even if you really think you are, you still need to tell yourself you aren't. Try telling that to your reflection in the mirror.
If you want to enhance your appearance, try using some make-up. Put on some eyeliner, some mascara, some blush, and lip-gloss, and you'll be on your way to feeling beautiful. Don't wear clothing that make you feel ugly (baggy clothing, colors that don't match your skin tone). Start putting some care into how you look. If you feel good about your appearance, you'll definitely be more confident about yourself.
About that guy you like...
You should act like yourself, and people will feel drawn to you. Smile alot. Have you heard the quote, "Don't frown because you don't know who may be falling in love with your smile"? or something like that, anyways =). If he says something funny, laugh. Instead of just letting him that you're immature and let him "hate" you, try showing him that you are different.
If he still does not like you, then find someone new, who deserves you. That special someone will come along eventually.
Good luck!
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Ok, well i had the same problem a while ago and i am 13 now, and i am a boy. So, i remember when i didnt, and i would pray and tell mainly tell my self some day i would get one, and that gave me a lot of self confidence that someday a girl would like me for who i am, and it worked out, but you have to remember, social relation ships arent more important than familes because families are usualy always there for you, so take it easy and i think to relax in your situation and let things flow to you. Good luck
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Boy's will see what you show them. If you think you are all those things then that is what they will see. If you want to look diffrent then experiment with make up and do it. Start making conversation and smile. Joke and be happy, don't think negative. They will notice you then.
And no you aren't the only one. Your only 14 and a lot of the guys just aren't ready for girls yet. Hang in there.
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dudet-you're only 14! i'm 16 and never kissed or been girlfriends with a boy. boys are stupid at this age. just be patient. it's all stupid crushes from 14-16ish
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Dont worry at all. I know a lot of people in that same situation. But there is absolutely nothing wrong with that and never let anyone ever tell you anything different.
If you dont find yourself attractive, then just try wearing a little makeup to accentuate you're good features. Like if you have nice eyes wear eyeliner and eyeshadow. It makes them more noticable and more people find you attractive. Wear flattering clothes too. Black and dark colors are always nice.
As far as being shy, just chime in on conversations that appeal to you. Like if you like a certain movie and you hear someone mention it just say :oh i love that movie!" and start talking to them about it. You get to know someone a lot better and you become more confident. Or if you arent up to that then just be very confident in general. Keep your head up when you walk and dont look down. Laugh and smile a lot because people notice when someone has a great personality like that, mostly guys notice. Guys like girls who are confident, no matter what they look like. Confidence is the key.
I really hope I helped and let me know how it goes! And just IM me for more advice if you need it :) Good luck!
~*~*~Ren~*~*~
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Please excuse me while I fall out of my chair. You are worried that you will never fall in love...AND YOU ARE FOURTEEN? Honey, I didn't date until I was seventeen. I didn't kiss until I was nineteen. And most of my friends didn't either.
Just calm down. You have the rest of your life to find someone to love. Now is the time to think of other things, like who you are, school, etc. You are not destined to be alone. You are fourteen.
And you aren't ugly or worthless. I might not be able to see you, and I might not know you, but I do know that the real problem is a lack of confidence. Forget about the boys for a minute, and think about you. I know that you must like something about yourself. What? Why? If you can find something to like about yourself, then you've just taken the first step to actually LIKING yourself.
The funny thing is, once you gain confidence, you won't be so shy. If you are confident instead of shy, boys will like you and try to date you. So, address the real problem first, some lucky boy will find you later ;)
Adieu!
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don't worry....your not the only one.... i didn't have a bf until i was fourteen and to be honest, it was a mistake...he was immature and annoying. don't worry....i'm sure it's not as bad as you think and if that guy judges you by how your friends act, then he's not worth it. i haven't had a bf since then and i'm gunna be 16 next month! don't worry....you'll find the right guy. :o)
~steph~
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Don't feel so bad, I'm almost 16 and I've never had a boyfriend or been kissed either. There's been guys that have liked me or whatever but they never asked me out. But don't put yourself down! I feel like I'm ugly at times, and I'm pretty shy too - I hate doing projects and stuff in front of the class, but if I'm around my friends I talk to them and all. I feel the same way as you alot, even if a miracle happened I still wouldn't have a boyfriend.
Since there's a guy you like, why don't you hang out with him and show him you aren't immature like your friends are? He might just end up liking you. This boy that I like just started talking to me recently and we're getting along pretty good. It's like we've been friends the 8 months we've known of each other, lol. So who knows, maybe showing him the real you will get you a boyfriend? =) I hope things get better for you!
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your not the only one i no people who are in the same situation as you are one day you will find someone there is someone out there for everyone
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If you keep putting yourself down, then nobody will want to go out with you. How can you expect someone to like you if you don't like yourself?
Also, you're fourteen. It may seem like tons of kids your age and younger have been dating, but this generation is the first to do so. When I was fourteen, only six of the kids in my graduating class had dated. In high school, many of my friends didn't date until they were fifteen or sixteen.
I felt the same way when I was fifteen. To quote my diary entry of the time, "It's coming to the point that I have lost all hope of feeling love. I am just not attractive and never will be....I am just going to stop trying." Shortly after writing that (spring '02), I learned to enjoy being single, mostly because the friends of mine who were dating were complaining constantly. The next school year, I met my boyfriend. So, learn to enjoy being single and to like yourself.
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I've never had a boyfriend until this year, 15 years old. So I know what you mean when you say you feel sad and worthless. That's exactly how I felt. You can't go out and keep thinking that about yourself though. You need to cheer up and make the best of everything. Guys and people in general will want to spend more time with you if you do. Not only that, but it'll make YOU feel better.
Don't believe a word other people say when they say it's weird to have never kissed anyone. There are SO many people that haven't dated or kissed anyone. The truth is, we never know when we will find our true love. Some find it later in love and some may never find it. The only thing we can do about that is not base our lives on boyfriends and girlfriends. We need to enjoy life despite what we don't have. Everyone has lots of things they wish they had.
Find some new friends...friends that automatically click with you. With excellent friends, you won't worry 24/7 about getting a boy. With excellent friends, you don't even need a man to make you happy! Keep yourself busy. Volunteer, community service, school activities, clubs, read, cook, clean, watch movies, all of that! It'll make you feel good, you won't feel worthless, and you won't spend your time moping around all the time. It'll work. Happiness doesn't come right away, we have to work for it.
About that boy you like at school...I definitely advise you to GO FOR HIM! If he doesn't like your friends, you should SHOW him you are different. Slowly get to know each other better and he we will who you really are. If he likes you for who you are...you've scored! If not, that's okay because now you know he's not worth your time. You have to try things out and if they don't work, at least you gained one more peice of knowledge. Hope things work out.
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Here's the thing, your 14 I was actually that age when I had my first kiss and I wasn't too concerned with age when it happened. Any guy is going to probably judge you by the way your friends act unless you show otherwise. If he see's you doing the exact same immature thing they are then he'll think you're like them or if he see's you just sitting there letting it happen he'll think you're not for him. Speak up and let him know and honestly being one of the ones to get kissed or do more eariler makes people think of you as a little easy anyway. I know that most girls wanna be loved but it helps to know that there are other girls out there that are feeling the same way as you are. Don't feel different feel honored that you are waiting for the perfect boy for you to give you your first kiss, or other firsts (b/c trust me you don't want any of your first with some a** who thinks he is being a player and feels the need to be a jerk and tell people or treat yu like crap after) Feel honored not different. Good Luck!
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for starters change your attitude. you are not ugly or shy or boring. and you are right, no guy would want a girl like that. so believe in your self, you are beautiful, not ugly. you are confident, not shy, and you are and you are not boring, you are interesting.
if you dont like your friends, get some new ones! and you are lucky, because if you arnt in-love you arnt going to get your heart broken!
Always there-
Kels
Thanks for Letting Me Help You!
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I'm 14 and I've never had a boyfriend either. Don't worry about it. You're just to good for all those boys at your school. You definitely aren't weird. You'll find a great guy someday and you'll see that it was worth it waiting to find him.
Try talking to the boy you like. Show him you aren't like your friends. And if he still doesn't like you, its his loss.
Good luck!
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