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She killed herself..
May 17, 2004, ((st. patricks day)) one of my best friends committed suicide. She was 13 years old. She was born on September 11, 1990. Her name was Alyssa, and she was walking to school late and she was walking on the tracks. She heard the train coming and she turned around, put her hood up, and gave the thumbs up sign to the conductor. He couldn't stop the train. Alyssa got hit and died. A month later the investigators claimed it to be suicide, which everyone already knew. She had tried committing suicide a couple weeks before that, but I had to drag her off the tracks by her hair. I had made her go see the school counselor before that and I guess she still wanted to committ suicide. The night before she was hit, she wrote R.I.P Alyssa on her and her boyfriend's bedroom wall. She killed herself for many reasons, but I only know of how her boyfriend was cheating on her and she was in a gang and family problems. She told me there was more though. I tried so hard to convince her that death wasn't the soulution, but she didn't listen. I did everything I could to help her. Anyway, I know it's long but I thought you needed to know the whole story.
So my problem is, I still haven't been able to cope with it. I cry all the time and nobody seems to understand me. I miss her so much. I've already seen numerous counselors but they haven't helped me much. I just want to know if there's any way that I could start the "healing process" or if it'll just take time. I would appreciate all the help. Thank you so much!
Love, RacheL
((xoRachel))
R.I.P Alyssa Gonzalez.. I miss you so much.
9/11/90 - 3/17/04
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i know how you feel. My sister friends brother comitted suitside by hanging himself.i know what you have to do. hes/she is in heaven. all u have to do is pray for her and she will help you out. When u pray she might be in Pregatory( a stoping station in niether heaven or hell until you get enoph prayers) and when u pray for people in pragatory there soles lift up every time. I'm sorry to hear this but also happy. I;m happy becuase i know there in heaven. Its not like your never going to see her again. i will also pray for her tonight. hope i helped
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okay, well i am not n e expert or n e thing but it helps for some ppl to talk bout the person. That is what keeps them alive. I mean my grandpa died w few yrs ago. i no it isn't the same but it hurt for a long time. I was really depressed all the tyme and was kinda off in my own little world. I mean sure after this clams down some and after u are comfortable, u will be doing sumthin and all of the sudden think about your friend and cry. It is human to cry. I always talk about my grandpa! It is what keeps him alive on earth! I hoped i helped
dumblonde2010
Don't cry because its gone, smile because it happened.
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awww that is so sad!!! but i think tha best thing fa you to do is try not to think about it as much and wen u do think bout it..think of tha good times wif her dont think of her death! if u r still havin problems then maybe you should talk ta consulor or sumptin like that!!! aww i hope u feel betta!!!
hope this helped
<3Kandi
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well, u have alot of courage for saying all of this and i hope u can get over this. well, instead of remembering the bad painful memories, look bak at the good happy things u guyz did 2 gether. i no that sounds useless, but use my advice. if that doesnt help, well then do the thing that makes u take out stress. music,excersise,etc. n e thing to take that off of ur mind. i hope u can get over this and good luk,
flirty/
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I'm so sorry! Sometimes it takes time for deaths. It can take a really long time too. Whenever you think about Alyssa, remember all the great times you had together and you can always talk to her in heaven. Make it a daily routine to try to talk to her in heaven. It can be whenever you want! Let's say you did it at night, well, tell Alyssa everything thats going on and tell her that you miss her and you hope she's having a better life in heaven and tell her you love her still and you always will. Things will take time to get better. It'll be okay. Praying always helps me with things. So if you dont already pray, try it.
~Cayd
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To be honest. There's no easy way and fast way to cope with these things. People say just remember the good times. Well remembering the good times just makes you want to die because you think about the person even more. No one is going to understand you. The only way to deal with it is just cry and be happy for her. You'll know when it's time to let go. Don't let anyone rush you to get over her. It takes time. All you can do is just wait it out. Everything will work out someday. Just keep your head high and smile. Just think she's in a happier place then anyone on earth is now. It's a part of life. Just except it :]. Good luck.
xoxo sorry [x]
<33 BRit
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*Oh man I am really sorry!!! Death is a part of life and everyone goes through it. For you, it will take time, to me, suicide is worse than just dying because the person meant to do it. But look to the bright side, if you weren't there for her all those times, she would have been dead way earlier. You were a good friend to her and I hope you realize that. Time will heal and so will your heart...*
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did she have an older sister angela?
Well anyways, One of my really good friends rachel, everybody called her rae rae, passed away. It was actually my boyfriends sister. Well we were all supposed to go to this party, but me and my boyfriend stayed home, and we ended up gettin a phone call saying that she was killed in a car accident, because she was on her way home driven by a drunk driver. It was terrible. Me and my boyfriend thought it was our faults, because he can drive, and he doesn't drink, so we would've been her ride home, and so we were totally blaming ourselves. There isn't much you cah do, but talk. Talk to a really good teacher. I sent out some anonymous e-mails to a few of my FAVE teachers, telling them the story and asking them what they would tell their students to do. I even got a new e-mail adress, because you can have like a zillion for yahoo. So TALK, to anybody who will listen. CRY, sing, take up a new passion. This happened recently to me, I still feel like it's my fault, yet I know it isn't. Death is a HARD thing to deal with, especially with somebody SOOOO close. ME and my boyfriend are 16, and 13 1/2, but we're so close, I'm like at his house all the time, and now that his sister has passed, I'm over there as much as possible. You should never say you know how it feels to somebody who has experienced death, but I've experienced it, so I have the ability to know how it feels, and it SUCKS!! I'm sooooo sorry for your loss, and I hope you can deal with it a different way than your friend chose. Good Luck with life, live each day like it's your last, and DON'T make it your last!!!
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Rachel, for a starter you were and are a good friend to Alyssa. You probably was her light when she was in the dark , and you probably made her vision easier when it was clouded . Rachel, you need to acknowledge that you were a good friend, and that you aren't responsible for what happened
to Alyssa . You may not feel responsible, but those feelings tend to grow over time . Second of all, don't let anyone tell you that you'll get over this because, the fact is that you'll never get over it . It'll always be there , and it'll fade at times ; the fact is that it'll remain with you for the rest of your time . You need to be content with yourself, and you need to acknowledge anything that you're in doubt about . I know how this feels , but I can't relate to how much pain you're going through .You need to know , that you were there for Alyssa and that you were the best thing that may have ever happened to her . You also need to know, that some people, you just can't save . One day, you will heal but not entirely . There will always be that something in the very pit of your mind questioning . Questioning whether you could've done this or that or, why Alyssa did this or that . The key is to remember life and to value it . It may seem like there's nothing right now to value, but there is . There's something in your life . If you need any extra help, I'm here . I truely hope that I was some help , and try to have a nice day .
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It will take time to get ova sumthin liek that, cuz u care about her soo much and u absotlutly love her. But trust me no one but urself can get u through this becuz u r the only one that understand, and no one else is goin through the same thing u r. So just beleive in urself and u will get through it.
R.I.P Alyssa Gonzalez...You are missed and loved alot. U'll always be in the memories of those who love u!!
9/11/90 - 3/17/04
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ok, i know that you probably don't want to hear this, but it will take time. crying is actually a good thing. bottling up feelings is very unhealthy. its good that you knew yourself enough to go see a counselor. You're a smart kid with a good head on your shoulders. even though this is tough right now, you will be able to move on with out this pain. i know that it seems like that'll never happen, but it will.
i'm really sorry about your friend. its a tragic thing to happen.
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omgosh..thats so sad :'(..I'm really sorry..But you gotta try to not think about it, and think of all the good times if you do keep thinking about it. Like another person said..do you think she would want you to be depressed and stuff?..aww stay strong, and try not to think about it..
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well...u can juss take time off spend some time wit ur other friends and talk to ur parents about it..and juss dont feel dat bad coz u tried to stop her
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im sooo sorry!!..ok wait did it happen in may or march cz on the bottom you said "3/17/04" anyways.. it just happend this year so you should expect it to take a little while to heal if my bestfriend did that i dont know what i would do! and if it just happend in may that i think is way to early to be thinking about the "healing process" and so i guess if you really wanna try and get over her just think of all the good times yall had and try to remind yourself it was in the past its time to move on dont let it get you down (i know thats almost impossible tho)
im sorry!
<33 Hannah
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rachel.. honey... let time heal things.. im sure this painfull occurance in your life left a giant cut in your heart.. but hun the cut will soon heal into a scare .. the scare is gonna hold memories of a life time.. but after time it will be easier to deal with .. i know its been long since she died.. but there enough time to fix anything.. hold on and keep going strong..... just try to realize that right now.. alyssa is in a better safe and carefree place! love you! and take care!! ask me a Q anytime!
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