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My best friend hates me...
My best friend's boyfriend was beating the shit out of her.. he made her give him head in front of his friends or else he'd beat the shit out of her.. she had bruises and i saw them.. she told me about it.. i tried talking to her and him.. she tried talking to him.. it was never gonna end.. so i talked to tara (a school counsler) with 2 other people.. and we told them what we have seen and what was going on.. now she blames me.. and only me.. she said i ruined her life and she hates me.. she said that i blew it out of proportion and her lame fucking excuse for it was that he gets worried about her and then he gets angry so like when ur so angry u wanna hit someone that's what he does.. hello but am i the only one who doesn't hit my signifigant other when i'm pissed off?? i just don't know if i did the right thing.. i love her so much she's my best friend and i'd do nething for her and i just felt like this whole thing with her boyfriend was waaay out of control and i couldn't do nething more to help! i had to tell someone.. i dunno but i feel like killing myself and i dunno what to do... first i wanna go kill him.. then i'll kill myself.. sounds like the best plan to me but ya know there are people who actually care about him surprisingly and i couldn't never kill neone but that's beyond the point.. i dunno what to do about my friend and meanwhile it's throwing me in a hole i can't get out of and i just dunno what to do.. please help :'(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
First off, dont kill yourself! :( Secondly, your friend needs serious help. Sometimes when someone is being abused in a relationship they deny iy and/or blame themselves. Tell her that you did what you knew was best for her. Try talking to her parents. She needs to get out of the relationship and it seems that she can't do that on her own. Most importanly, no matter how hard she tries to push you away she really needs you. Be there for her no matter what and eventually she will come around.
~***Hannah~***
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heyy,
well i no that u should definately NOT kill neone (u or him) and the only advice that i can give u is to not feel bad and u did it bcuz u cared right? i would b the happiest person if mi friend did sumthing like that 4 me. I just think that ur friend either was to scared to tell some1 or have sum1 else b told OR she didnt want neone to no this soon(if it was soon after)
i hope i can help
i hope everything works out
~Trumpetchyk
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Okay first off, that was a great thing you did for your friend, and its such a great thing yu did. its good to have the courage to do things like that specailly when it comes to the people we love. next, she will see someday what a good thing you did for her, and i know it hurts her now, but you did the best thing for her even if she doesnt realize it. and sooner or later she will get over it. i know you wnat it to be sooner but it may not be, and i know that hurts, but b tough, know you did the right thing and you were just looking out for her. She will someday eventually come around and understand. Also it isnt fair that shes putting all the blame on you but im sure she knows its wrong for her to be terrible mad and you and she knows it wrong what he did. shes hurting right now and you should just try to be there for her, if she wont let you be just try to talk to her about it, and if she doesn accept it then just let it go for awhile and try to work it out. Im sure it will work out. also if you do notice they get back together and he starts hurting her again go to the cops or try to get better help and make sure shes safe, which is all that really matters. even if it does hurt you.
Hope i helped and if you need anything else at all let me know. and i would like to know how things go leave me on in my box, or i/m me, Chatychic08.
xOxO`mAgZ
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First off, there is no reason why you should feel like killing yourself. you did a good thing. Your friend just doesn't understand taht right now or appreciate it becasue she thinks shes in love or that this guy really loves her. When in relaity, he doesn't love her. I understand about people who have anger problems and get so frustrtaed they wanna hit people, but that is not his problem. if he threatened to beat her if she didn;t give him head in front of his friends, not only did he violate her, but he is straight up abusing her both mentally and physically. You can not feel bad for tryig to help her out. She needs to get away from that guy before she is really stuck in a jam. And, she shouldn't be mad at you, she should be mad at him. I'm sorry but she's fuckin stupid for staying with him. Anyone who choses to live their life that way, and settle for someone like that is stupid. She needs to wake up and leave him.
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The bottom line is that your best friend's boyfriend was abusing her - plain and simple. You did the only thing you could do to try and protect her as someone who loves and cares about her. There is no way that you could have done nothing and there is no way that you should have done nothing.
Now here's the part that sucks. Even though you did the right thing, you have no control over her reaction. Obviously, she is not ready to make the changes she needs to make in her life to keep her safe, and you can't force that on her. Eventually, she will probably realize that this guy is an abuser and get away from him. The sad reality is that she may never let herself see that what you did was for her own good and you may never get the "thank you" that you deserve. All you can do is stand your ground and continue to explain to her that you did what you did because you care about her and you will be there for her if and when she needs you. It doesn't seem fair, I know, but hold your head high because you've done nothing wrong. Best of luck to you.
Kind wishes,
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i think the best thing to do is tell her to talk to somebody. i wouldnt get in her buisness. she is the only one that can put a stop to it. i mean, if she didnt like it, she could put a restraining order on him or break up with him. i wouldnt interfere. there are plenty of ways she could put a stop to it. *Bethers*
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Ohh Man! thats bad.....u did the right thing...maybe now he can get help.....jeez guyz are meen like dat sometimez....but itz not right to treet someone like he did....URg MAN WHORES
x33*bRYTt
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In no way shape or form did you do anything wronge. Don't let her blame you for caring. She's probably so used to people lian that she doesnt know what the truth is. She's probably really exhasted from that and needs time to think just let her no you didnt intend on hurting her and she will treasure you doing that in the future.
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If my friend was in trouble like that I would defenetly go to the counsler. If you ever read YM some girls have been killed by there abusive boyfriends, so you did the right thing. Dont be angry at yourself you helped her. You guys seem like great friends, and she cant be mad at you for long. For the meantime I would try talking to her about the situation. She will eventually find out how mean her boyfriend really is and will thank you.
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Hey.. Don't worry !! you Did the exact right thing and you should very proud of yourself even if you seem bad! Not most friends can do that, but luckily you did, Because sometimes the boyfriends go outa control and could end up killing the girlfriends! You should never beat/make them do something, and your friend really is scared and know you did the right thing but doesnt want to use that feeling right now! Eventually she will thank you* but for now just give her some time, and BE proud of yourself for saving someones life.. DONT do any harm to yourself ! please dont.. if you needa friend I/M me at : FeelingThis07x !! bye Hope everything works out <3 COlleen!
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YOU DID THE RIGHT THING!! in the future she will thank you...because you saved her from gettin beaten to death!! her boyfriend is jerk no matter what ... a spoiled jerk someone who needs to get his act together.. u def. did the right thing keep ur head high and try to talk to her
hope i helped
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awww. I feel so bad for you :-( Your best friends boyfriend is a jerk he has no right to be abusing her and she should know that. You deffenatly did the right thing and your friend shouldn't be mad for you trying to help her. Tell your friend what you told me, then hopefully she will understand that you were just trying to help her not trying to get her in trouble. You should also talk to her boyfriend about it. He should understand that beating his girlfriend up will not solve their problem. Good luck.
*Chels*
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You really did the right thing. I know it doesn't seem like it but you really did. Time will go over and (hopefully) it will be forgiven and forgotten. Hopefully she will fogive you and thank you for it
x0x surfer girl x0x
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Okay this guy has serious problems. And your freind does too in a sense. You need to help her. You need to tell an adult (like her parents or yours) and you should definately report this to an abuse hotline. 1800-656 HOPE suits this situation the best. For more imformation about this hotline go to rainn.org. Get her help..she may be mad, but she'll thank you in the long run. Do the right thing..wonder if it was you. I know you feel crummy but don't you did the right thing..just stay strong. Over time she will see you were looking out for her and forgive you. Don't beat yourself up.:)
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