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What should i do?
Hello, im 17 years old and i grew up with 3 friends since pre-school. We are soo close. But 2 out of the 3 are racists. I never really cared because they didnt say anything around me. Then i started dating an African-American. And they are saying things about me and my boyfriend. I love them and i have grown up with them but i love my boyfriend ALOT too.. he means alot to me. Now im stuck in the middle between my bestfriends and my boyfriend. What i am i going to do? Thank You.
Sincerely,
stuck so deeply
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
wow stuck soo deeply,
i would have to say. IF your best friends love you. they will understand that you need your space. and you love your boyfriend too. well i would say that they can trust you. n stuff. so why are they making a big deal out of it. if they doo. then thats reallly rude crude and socially unexceptable for them. they should appreciate you and your man for who you are not color.
hope i helped! just ask me anything! lol.
xox Manda xox.
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This is a rough situation to be in; you're trapped between people you care about. It might help to step back mentally from the situation a little - does racism make you uncomfortable and angry? If our friends make racist comments, do you regularly stand up to them?
If they were used to you accepting them (and their comments), then they're probably surpised and confused that you are dating a black guy.
You and I both know that racism is unfair and often a sign of a lack of knowledge and experience. You need to sit down with your friends and tell them how much you are about them - and that's why you're so hurt by their attitudes and comments.
Explain how you feel, and if they are receptive, then be consistent - anytime they make a comment, remind them how you feel. Eventually, you could start spending time with them AND your boyfriend; it's hard to be prejudiced against someone with a name, face, and personality.
If your friends continue to make comments which they know hurt you, it might be work rethinking your friendships. There are plently of people who are educated about diversity & happy to accept people of all different backgrounds.
Stand up for yourself.
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wow thats a tough spot to be in. well it doesnt matter about the race your bf is. i mean its that you lik/ love him that counts. and if your friends cant understand that then it will be hard but maybe you should get some new ones. or....
explain to them that you dont care what they think! you like him and you dont care what they think. love's what matters not the skin color.
* hope it works out* - aeromonkey
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That is not fair to your boyfriend at all. You should deffinately tell your friends how you feel and not talk to them until they apoligize and try to change. Remember you and your boyfriend did nothing wrong, they did.
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This is a toughie. Usually, if your friends don't approve of your boyfriend, it's a warning sign that he's no good. However, if the only reason they don't like him is because of his race, then it's your friends who are no good. I know they've been your friends since preschool, but consider this: do you really want to be friends with people like that?
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stuck so deeply,
i kno ur 17 and im only 15 but i know what u are going through.. i think that u jus need to let them see how much u love this guy. if they were ur real friends it wouldnt matter. maybe they wont APPROVE of you and him but they should ACCEPT it.
Hope i helped.
Amanda
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your friends need to stop treating you the way they are. if they can't then they are not your friends. everyone is entittled to thier own oppionions, but its a whole different story when your oppionion is hurting someone, like it is hurting you. you shouldnt have to make a choice. your man is your man, not theres, and they just have to accept you for you, take it or leave it.
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They're not your friends if they hate this guy just becuse he's black(I prefer that term over African American,an Egyptian or a South African could call himself an African American). If he doesn't mistreat you,I'm not a fan of interracial relationships,but if you're happy,your friends should be happy for you. This person appears to not like my advice,well all I have to say is I hope your friends hang this guy ok? Black is not a racist term. So go fuck yourself. Hope you chokeb on his big black dick.
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Usually I would stay stick with your gal pals...and ditch the guy. But from what you have said I'd say it's your friends that have a problem not him. I'd talk to them and straight up ask them what their problem is with african-americans. If they can't accept someone for the color of their skin...then i don't know what to think about them.
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u could not hang out wit ure bf around ure frends, or u could tell ure frends how u feel nd ask them not to say stuff about u nd ure bf around u..
hope i helped
.:Keryn:.
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Don't let them talk about your boyfriend like that. Tell them straight up that you don't like what they are doing. If they can't accept that, then they are not really good friends now are they? Tell them that it bothers you when you talk about stuff like that in front of you!! Good luck..
-xXoBrianna
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Well if your 3 friends really cared about you they would support you in your relationship, nomatter what race your boyfriend was. Just talk to them tell them how you feel, thats all you need to do, like i said if they were true friends they would understand.
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Racists are a hard thing to deal with but if push comes to shove first choose which is more important if it's your boyfriend then sit your friends down and tell them if they continue to do it you can't be friends anymore
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You know there's that saying "Boys come and go, but best friends are forever"- well, if you've been friends with these girls for that long, you should have no problem being honest with them. Tell them that it's okay to have opinions, but you make your own decisions and they shouldn't judge you or your boyfriend for that. It's not up to them who you date or what race he is or anything. Do what you want to do... YOU are in control of yourself!
.:*Em&xTina*:.
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well tehn tell them b like....I love him and if u guyz cant b happy fro me then idk how we have been frendz for this long and if they bail on u then they do....thatz basically the smse thing between my frend and me she has a colored boyfrend and i don't really like colored pplz...but i noticed that she was madly in love wit hm and i wanted her to b happy.....so itz all kool
hope i helped
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wow.. take it from a person who's seen A LOT of racism in her life.. u cant change how they feel. but just try to get them to hang with him for a day. and they should see that skin color doesn't matter a bit. and if not, well screw them. but keep them ur friends. bcuz u'd never wanna lose friends over a guy. even if they're prejudging him.
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Dude.. theRe's good and bad in ALL Races!! You can't change youR fRiends' views on the woRld, howeveR you CAN open theiR eyes a bit. EnsuRe them that he Really IS a good peRson, and if he wasn't... you wouldn't be with him. Let them know how much you'd appReciate it if they hung out with the two of you to Really get to know him. PeRhaps once they catch on to the fact that he Really *isn't* a bad guy.. they'll come aRound. I wish you the best of luck!! Hope I helped!!
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