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pregnate
I am 14/f and don't tell me i`ve made the biggest mistake of my life...i know i've made a mistake and i`m gonna follow my responsibilities. My boyfriend, who I have been with for 11 months, has been in jail for 6... he just got out and we really like each other you know? Well, while he was in jail-i had a little side thing...with a 16 year old black male...lets call him mike..me and mike really liked each other and did it a lot..but when we did it on the first day of my period-something happened. Last night, my stomach was hurting sooo bad while talking to my boyfriend. So bad that my mom took me to the emergency room. She decided to give me a pregnancy test..and it`s positive. I`m nervous and all and 6 weeks pregnate in the 9th grade... I have the money and skills to support it..but MIKE doesn`t want anything to do with it. My dad wants it aborted but I want it...my mom does too. What would you do in my situation? And how do i explain to my boyfriend who is trying to get his life back on track?
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Want to answer more questions in the Sexual Health and Reproduction category?
Maybe give some free advice about: General Sex Questions?
You want it?
Then keep it!!!
You are this child's key defender, fight for it!
You are very young yes. And you will lose a lot if you keep it, but the richness of bringing a kid into the world will outweigh it when you are older.
Practically, you are going to need support, if your mum will help then that's fantastic, but you may have to chat to your dad...
There won't be an easy way to tell your b/f but if he loves you, he will stay by you!
All the best
luv k
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well i gotta say this and if you dont like what im gonna say then i'm sorry..if u lovede your boyfriend that was in jail u shoulda not had sex with "mike" and second you should of waited to have sex
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I would have the baby. You don't nescesarily have to keep it you could put it up for adoption if you would want to. Be like to your boyfriend, "I have made the biggest mistake of my life and I really am sorry I love you and I hope that you aren't mad but I can understand if you are." Something along those lines. I wish you luck in whatever comes.
X♥X♥
Charmed-Cherry21
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Hey grl!
you should definitly have the baby and be like to mike you have to halp me this is your baby to not just mine its gonna be part of you to. i no this might be a big shock to you and all but i want US to have and take of this baby. Its your child so please help me. i cant do this with out you (you mighht be able).
I dont wont to freak you out or anything but to be on the save side you might wanna go back to the dactor to have a sonagram to see if ou have 1 or 2 babies.
I hope everything works out and stuff.
~morgan
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well, you may want it, and i understand that. but make sure you consider what that entails. if you keep it, will you be able to go to college(i know it's kinda far off, but u still gotta think about it.)you'll have a 5-6 year old kid. it all depends on what you want to do with your life and how supportive your family is willing to be. if they will take care of it so you don't have to worry so much in college(or high school) then go ahead. the choice is yours and yours alone, i can only give advice, it's on you what you decide to do. my personal opinion is to side with your dad. as painful and mentally damaging as it will be, i really think that no one under 18 should have to deal with raising their own child. it's hard and it is unfortunately detrimental to alot of aspects in your life. you COULD get scholarship money for having it in college, but idk. it's your choice and i hope i helped. Metalkat86@hotmail.com. update me, i would really like to know how your situation turns out, and i'll be here to help you every step of the way if need be. be strong and follow your heart,
Kat
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WHOA, your in diffifcult sitation and you are 14? and a freshmen? hmmmw ell im that sucks, thing is you shouldnt have done that, but anyways if you want to have a life at all you will get rid of it, hate to say that becuase its killing it, but if you have it then it is going to take away fromeverything of the rest of you life and things will tottaly be horrible, if u abort it then eventually things will get better and everything but your to young for all this and god just talking about it stresses me out! lol i dont know.. i justknow i woukldnt keep it!
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Man >< Your in a spot. I would reccomend having it aborted too, but you could also give it up for adoption. It will be ALOT better for the child if you put it for adoption where it will go to a family that is emotionally/financially ready for it. Your still a kid! You should be out having fun before you have to have these responsibilities. After your done being pregnant GET SOME BIRTH CONTROL!
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Hey girl, I think it's really great you're looking to get some advice, but I'm not sure this is the best place to be getting it. I read some of the other responces, and I'm sorry on behalf of all the rude people who felt the need to answer you. PLEASE don't punish your baby for the mistake you and "mike" made. Your baby did nothing wrong and having an abortion would truly be the biggest mistake of your life. Your dad may be trying to look out for you, but he's not looking our for his grandchild. He needs to realize you have a tiny, fragile, innocent life inside of you and he needs to respect whatever decision you make. You mentioned that mike's 16? even if he doesn't want anything to do with your baby, which must be so hard on you, he will legally have financial responsibility to you and your child. I hope you're feeling okay with "morning" sickness and all...please let me know how your doin and if there is anything else i can do to help you
JLH
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Sweetie I think you need to get an abortion. I know you made a mistake and that your willing to except that, but if you choose to accept this baby, you will make an even bigger msitake. You will be bringing your mistake into the world and IT will have to live with it. It will be 10 while you are 24. how embarassing. And also you will throw your life away. Leave this in your past and be smarter in your future. I wish you luck.
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First things first NO ONE here is entitled to call you a slut or whore, you're not. If you were to make the biggest mistake of your life it would be to abort the baby. Do you really want to kill your baby. Just think of the joy of having the baby in your arms. I can understand *mike* for not wanting to have anything to do with it, it is his mistake too, he should step up for his fault but you can't do anything about that. You probably will have to raise the baby on your own. I know it's tough, but it's much worse killing the baby. A woman I knew had an abortion and i just killed her when she was married and had kids to think she herself killed one because of her mistake. She wrote a letter to her baby asking the baby for forgiveness. She said that when had her baby a couple years after the abortion she cried because she could only think of the baby she could have have. She asked the baby to forgive her that she wasnt a cruel person and she loved the baby. over 1,000,000 babies are killed each year through abortion. You can always put the baby up for adoption if you can't afford. Good luck, I hope all is well for you and you have a healthy baby!
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Well, you certainly have a lot on your plate. First of all, you need to reign in your dad. You know what I mean, use that little girl 'but daddy' crap and make him listen to you. Make sure your mom is there to support you, but don't make it look like you are teaming up on him.
Abortion might be an option, but you said you want it, so you need to find a way to finish your education while having a child, and (I assume) be with your boyfriend. First, you need to find a way to have the baby taken care of during the day. If your mom doesn't work, she might consider doing it for you. You WILL go to school. You WILL NOT drop out. If you do, I will HUNT YOU DOWN and drag you back, because you will not have a very pretty life without your nice, public school education. Second, you need to forget Mike. The guy just wanted some tail, and when he, like so many teenagers, 'forgot' to wear a condom got landed with a kid. Screw him, if your boyfriend is so great, he will help you through this. Try very hard to stay in school. If that is not an option, make sure your boyfriend is. I know you are going through a bunch of crap right now, but you can pull through this with your kid, your parents, your education, and your boyfriend. Thats going to take a lot of work, but it is possible.
Hope I was more help than the other 'columnists', Redlion.
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I know wut you did was wrong by cheating on your man but dont listen to those people calling you a slut and shit because you came here for advice, not to feel like a fucking loser so ignore those bitches! god it pisses me off no ones perfect. Anyways your so young to have a baby of your own so i would say have an abortion so you dont mess your life up but its YOUR baby so you have to make the decision you know. Its gonna be hard raising it on your own w/ out Mike and plus you gotta tell your boyfriend about how its not his. If i were you i wouldnt have it but idk its up to you hun..good luck. Love, *Everybodiiez_Fool*
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Omg!! You slut!! I mean I am usually not mean but you are being a total whore!! This is the biggest mistake of your life-you are 14 and having sex?? I bitch ass hoe!!
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OH EM GEE!!! Wow! You are kind of stupid for cheating on your boyfriend and you are totally stupid for having sex without a condom. What were you thinking. I do not care if I am being mean becausae you made a really stupid mistake. You are fourteen and you are already having sex! What is wrong with you? Did you think that you would be cool? That is stupid. First of all, if you are thinking of getting an abortion, that makes you even more stupid!!!!! You know if you get an abortion you will be killing a little kid. Good luck with feeling like shit the rest of your life. You can go through wit hthe pregnancy and give he/she up for adoption. I was reading the comments you recieved and whoever wrote that you need to drop out of high school is REALLY retarded and stupid. Gosh, that bothers me that people say that you have to drop out of high school to have a kid. You can go to high school and then take a maternity leave. Some girls did that in my high school. You should call over your "boyfriend" to your house and make sure that your parents are home but not by you so if anything bad were to happen, they could be there, then tell your "boyfriend" that you are pregers and also tell "Mike" that you are pregers. YOU SHOULD NOT GET AN ABORTION BECAUSE THEN YOU WILL BE A MURDERER! If you do not want the child, give the child up for adoption. But otherwise, this is a BAD, BAD situation for you. Abstinence until marriage would have helped you stay out of it. Nice work. WOW! I still cannot believe that you are 14 and pregers. You need to not have sex anymore. That is my BEST advice to you. I hope that I helped you in some weird way.
-Inga
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i would go to counsiling .... you did make a mistake and if "mike" doesnt want to support his baby then who needs him ? your other boyfriend in jail doesnt sound so good either .... most likely you'll be depending on your parents and not on mike or you other boyfriend . if you go to a counslier with your parents you may come up with a good idea that will benifit you your parents and especially the well fair of the child . .. you yourself is also a child with a life infront of you .... you could posibly have your baby and the baby could be adoptied and when you turn 18 you can see your baby if the child wishes to see you .
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first...why did your boyfriend go to jail??well in my opinion i would abort it because your only 14 you have a long way to go and you dont want to mess up your life at 14..but i would feel guilty by doing that...its really your decion....also get a job so you can support you and your baby if you make that decion
for your bf i would tell him the truth but dont go into detail...it might be hard for him to understand and stuff but i think thats the best thing to do..
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your 14 in the 9th grade and your 6 weeks pregnate. Wow! Okay think about it you have about 2 main choices here. 1. get an abortion and move on with your life. 2. have the baby whice means your have to drop out of school get a job support your life and the babies. That means food for both of all clothes for both of yall shelter and more! hun thats really going to mess up your life real bad! and im not trying to be mean though. and if mike doesnt want to do anything with the baby that means you have to raise it on your own! Plus most likly when your bf finds out hes going to dump you cause your pregnate and cheated on him. your 14 and you have the rest of your life to live. If i was you i would go and get the abortion and move on with my life yes there will be a lil guilt, but i would get over that and the bf would never know! hope i help
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dont abort it that will leave you with some really bad issues if you cant take care of it as you thought then give him/her up for addoption thats the best thing to do but any ways to tell your boyfriend just say that you cheated on him and that your pregnet with mikes kid but i would tell him in person and when its just the two of you he might be in compleat shock and it will take time to get over it but evencaly get over it and he might even wanna help a little but if not then your going to have to figure somthing else out
-*Tori
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all i said was DONT rate me, jesus christ, fuck up your life
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Personaly, there is no way I'd even concider abortion. What I'm not sure about is whether or not I'd keep the child. If you don't get your father's support things will be much harder to deal with, but that is something you and your mother will need to work on together. He knows that he and your mother will take the large part of raising your child. I know you think you're capable of taking care of yoursel and the baby, but trust me you'll realize the lie in that if not by the time the doctor bills for your pregnancy come in then by the time you actually have to take the baby to the doctor and leave whatever work you have to take care of it when they are sick. Your dad KNOWS the baby will end up being his and your mother's resposibility. He doesn't want to be burdened with this. I can't blame him, he didn't get pregnant. However,it is your child and will be his grandchild and your mother's grandchild. I can't imagine my father abandoning any child I would have regardless of the circumstances. If you keep the baby, make DAMN sure Mr. MIKE signs away his legal rights if he has no intention of helping you support it. He can't sign until he's 18, but make sure to do it ASAP. I have no clue how you can tell your boyfriend, but be honest and tell him as soon as you can. This is not something he needs to figure out on his own. Big Hug, Sweetie. Whatever your choice, your road will not be easy. Good Luck!
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i cant believe your 14&in 9th grade, and are pregnant! Holy fuck! sorry its just shocking, it was probably more shocking for you though. But babe, stay strong. If you can support this baby with your families help..then have it. bUt DONT GET AN ABORTION ..thats killing a babY! If you cant support this baby, have it then give it up for adoption..i know it will probably wicked hard to give him/her up but you have to get on with your life! aww, if i knew you..i would support you! Omg this "mike" kid seems like a total ass for not helpin his baby. I mean its his too..whatta fucker, i would totally wanna be apart of my baby's life if i was "mike" BUT whatever you decide to do, just stay strong and be happy no matter what and dont make any more stupid mistakes like this again.. i mean haven a baby isnt a mistake but haven sex while only being fucken 14..that is a mistakE! USE A CoNDOm..werent you wearin one? well if you needa tlk.. IM ME on: hiximchristine ..<3 ♥
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wow, your definetly right you made a ,mistake. The first thing you should do it thank you mother for supporte=ing you. Since mike probably wont be there for you all all the whole time, your mother will most likely be like the other parent. Next you need to sit down with your dad and apologize and tell him your true feelings towards the baby and get him to understand. As far as your boyfriend in jail goes, you should dump him and find someone who can be there to support you metally through your whole pregnancy and not in jail. Plus, im sure that the man in jail is too old for you anyways. YOu could do better. hope i could help. Kelly!
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Wow personally i am WAY against abortion. But 14! wow thats like a little bit over me. I would say have teh baby if your body can handle it .,. have your mom help you out and find out all your options... and for your bf he needs to be there for you intill you atleast have the baby. But next time wait to have sex
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You do what you want with your kid. Your father can't make you get an abortion. And your boyfriend is a loser anyway,you don't need a jailbird. You'll prolly rate me a one but I don't care about that shit. Mike also has no admirable qualities,he wants nothing to do with his kid. Then keep your dick in your pants next time,man. Hope he likes paying child support.
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Oh man, you have certainly gotten yourself in a bad situation. I know you definatly don't want a lecture, but I just want to say that at 14 you really should not be doing that; however, I think you get that now.
I am fifteen and I know that I would not want that to happen to me, so I do feel your pain. It will be extremely hard to take care of this baby at your young age, but anything beats abortion (which you should not do). If you can support this child (in all honesty), then thats fine. However, it will make things much much harder. If you don't think that you can handle it, you could always put your baby up for adoption. There are always hundreds of couples out there that would love to adopted a child and as hard as it will be to give up, a good agency will make sure your baby has a good home.
I know that this is probably the worst thing you have ever gone through, but do not give up. The mistake was made, and you are ready to deal with it. I hope that whatever decision you make, that both your life and the life of the child you now cary will in the end be wonderful.
Best wishes and prayers,
Ann
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Personally I would have an abortion, or atleast give it up for adoption. You can't have a baby now, you just are not ready for it. And as for your boyfriend, explain that he was away and that you want to put the past behind you.
More info:
www.plannedparenthood.org
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