Max Ehrmann
Desiderata
Go placidly amid the noise and haste,
and remember what peace there may be in silence.
As far as possible without surrender
be on good terms with all persons.
Speak your truth quietly and clearly;
and listen to others,
even the dull and the ignorant;
they too have their story.
Avoid loud and aggressive persons,
they are vexations to the spirit.
If you compare yourself with others,
you may become vain and bitter;
for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself.
Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans.
Keep interested in your own career, however humble;
it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
Exercise caution in your business affairs;
for the world is full of trickery.
But let this not blind you to what virtue there is;
many persons strive for high ideals;
and everywhere life is full of heroism.
Be yourself.
Especially, do not feign affection.
Neither be cynical about love;
for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment
it is as perennial as the grass.
Take kindly the counsel of the years,
gracefully surrendering the things of youth.
Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune.
But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings.
Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness.
Beyond a wholesome discipline,
be gentle with yourself.
You are a child of the universe,
no less than the trees and the stars;
you have a right to be here.
And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should.
Therefore be at peace with God,
whatever you conceive Him to be,
and whatever your labors and aspirations,
in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams,
it is still a beautiful world.
Be cheerful.
Strive to be happy.
Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.
I am the world's biggest procrastinator. I also work 3 jobs and study full time. I am from Australia... love our summers, travelling, road trips, swimming, reading, chilling out with my (huge) family and (crazy) friends...I really want to go to Europe one day.
I will listen to what you say, and try my best to help :)
Gender: Female
Location: Australia
Occupation: Student/law clerk
Age: 22
Member Since: January 3, 2005
Answers: 18
Last Update: January 8, 2005
Visitors: 4425
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xlostangelx
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i feel really caught up inside myself. like i like this guy jake and he likes me but i haven't told anyone b/c my friend alexia just came out of a sort of relationship with him (basically he was off limits to people INCLUDING NOW!) i know that might sound selfish but that's just how alexia is. anyways i just want to go out with him but he won't ask me out b/c of alexia. i dont know what i should do as far as asking him out or just talking to him. (link)
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If you and Jake are meant for each other, Alexia will find a new toy soon. Until then, why don't you just enjoy being friends with both Alexia and Jake. If you don't stress about it or put pressure on Jake, he'll probably admire your confidence and see that you are happy with yourself. Considering Alexia requires her ex's devotion even after a relationship is over, I'd say she isn't that happy with herself.
Hope you sort it out :)
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Ok this is weird but i want to get my ear pierced and my friend has a peircing gun. But my parental unit had a problem with it. But i am 17 i should be able to pierce my own ear. So the question is should i just go pierce it and come home to see what happens or not? (link)
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How desperatley do you need this piercing?
My parents made me wait till I left school...(but that was for my belly, not ear) and I'm glad they did, when I got it I was sure I wanted it because I'd waited for so long. Also, you are going to be deciding thing like what you want to do for a career soon, if you are wanting a single, high ear piercing, this might comprmise your suitability for a job, especially in a conservative field.
Hope that helps!!!
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I am 14/f and don't tell me i`ve made the biggest mistake of my life...i know i've made a mistake and i`m gonna follow my responsibilities. My boyfriend, who I have been with for 11 months, has been in jail for 6... he just got out and we really like each other you know? Well, while he was in jail-i had a little side thing...with a 16 year old black male...lets call him mike..me and mike really liked each other and did it a lot..but when we did it on the first day of my period-something happened. Last night, my stomach was hurting sooo bad while talking to my boyfriend. So bad that my mom took me to the emergency room. She decided to give me a pregnancy test..and it`s positive. I`m nervous and all and 6 weeks pregnate in the 9th grade... I have the money and skills to support it..but MIKE doesn`t want anything to do with it. My dad wants it aborted but I want it...my mom does too. What would you do in my situation? And how do i explain to my boyfriend who is trying to get his life back on track? (link)
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You want it?
Then keep it!!!
You are this child's key defender, fight for it!
You are very young yes. And you will lose a lot if you keep it, but the richness of bringing a kid into the world will outweigh it when you are older.
Practically, you are going to need support, if your mum will help then that's fantastic, but you may have to chat to your dad...
There won't be an easy way to tell your b/f but if he loves you, he will stay by you!
All the best
luv k
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I give up. I dont deserve gods love. I am not worthy enough for it. He gives me a gift and i dont use it. I fail one class, i am a porn addict. I give up i dont deserve god anymore. I dont even deserve to live, i, i really dont care. i am not good enough. I am not as loyal to him as i should be. i dont deserve him at all. im done. Please give advice or a way to end it all (link)
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Newsflash! Noone deserves his love! Does "For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" sound familiar? So you sin? Good. At least you are human. God can only use us when we need him, maybe he's let you come to where you are so you'll ask him for help? You can't do everything in your own strength, how about you ask him for a hand?
xxxstick in there!!!
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ok i go to carroll middle school and i am 13 well anywas during the christmas break i forgot what the guy that i like looked like but wen i got back i notest that he got even hotter than he was before. if i forgot what he looks like during the christmas break but i think he is still hott and as cute as a baby do i really like him please help i am so comfused.
XxfluffyxX (link)
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Fluffy...liking a boy isn't just about what he looks like! If you forget what he looks like, do you mean you wouldn't recognise him walking down the street or you just can't pull his face up in your imagination to think about all the time? If it's the latter option, I think you may stilllike him...but nothing will result from this crush unless you do some serious friendship building...make it more than just about those fervent passing glances...find out what he's into...talk to him!!! Hang with his friends...go for it.
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well i have been talking to this guy for like a week now and we talk about everything. i mean everything. and i want to like talk to him about dating in stuff, but im not sure if i should. or what to say.
help please! (link)
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I am hoplessly romantic, old fashioned, whatever....but let him chase you, you are so worth it, and he'll respect you for that...just don't go too much in the other direction! Don't give him the cold shoulder or anything, keep talking to him...if he's worth it, and it's the right time, it'll happen!!!!
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i shave my vagina almost every other day..i was wondering if its bad for me to shave so often.. but i like to be completely clean..ppl say that i shouldnt ( im 22yrs old ) shave there so often but i dont mind if alot of hair grows back coz life is short and i dont want my bf seeing me hairy there. please help.. (link)
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Have you thought about laser removal? Also, my cousin tweezers her's, it grows back in about a month, and gets sparser each time :)
Good luck.
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My boyfriend live 1500 miles away. Weve been together what seems like forever, but its 8 months. We're so in love, even though its been a short time we really know each other and im close with his family. But everyone is like hes cheating on you. Hes a guy... I know hes a guy but im not stupid he did do stuff before me but not much and hes not like that. Hes so against cheating and would NEVER do that. But how do I get these people off my back? Even his losker room buddies say it. And I know they wouldnt know much bc he didnt really talk to them much. He never lied to me and I could easily find out. i know where he is at all times. Hes not cheating on me. How can I convince other people? (link)
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If you are certain he's being faithful, then continue to believe that, those people obviously are a) trying to protect/look out for you b) people who would cheat on their partners if seperated c) bored with their own lives and wanting to feed of yours.
Maybe a good way to clear the air would be to tell him what they are saying,in person so you can gauge his reaction. Then if he denies it and you believe him, you can tell your friends that you've challenged him, and trust him, that way they are left out of the equation!
Good luck.
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okay so i have this boyfriend, and i love him soooo much! he is my life pretty much. all i ever think about is him and he's everything i've ever needed and wanted! anyways, he used to tell me he loved me like all the time, now he seldom does. he says it's because everytime he told me, i'd say ok..i love you too.. but that i didn't believe him. so lately i've been telling him i love him, and he says i love you too. but i dont know there's something changed, we don't talk as much, he doesn't call me nearly as much as he used to, but we promised e/o that if we liked other people that'd we'd tell one another! oh and another thing is, we have a tendancy to argue a lot.. but when we don't argue it's like everythings perfect. so i dont know what the deal is. but ill rate 5's to anyone who can help!! (link)
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Maybe he wants to randomly suprise you by saying "I love you" when you don't expect it. Also, what is his familylike, maybe they don't frequently say "I love you' so he's not used to it?
With the not talking, calling etc: it's not always going to be full on, you both have lives, maybe he feels comfy with you now? Perhaps you could set up a date day or afternoon when you do something special together?
Ask yourself if you want a fling or a long term thing...It won't be a bed of roses, but if it's a relationship worth pursuing, these issues will be solvable :)
good luck
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last time i checked my column was yesterday. i had 40 rates and it was at 4.58.. today i looked at it, i had 38 rates at 4.55.. what's wrong with my stupid column? (link)
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Maybe someone removed their rating?
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okay theres this and she kind of used to be my friend (we don't go to the same school and shes a grade lower than me) and she is a total prep (you can ask anyone and they'll tell you shes a bizotch), so i guess thats why were not friends anymore. I skateboard and i wear stuff from like zumiez, pac-sun, and somtimes hot topic, and she shops at like abercromie, A.E, and those stores. well the other day she shows up at this place wearing the same shoes as me (grey & pink etnies) and i was like "you don't skateboard" and she said shes learning, so i asked what kind of skateboard she has and she said she didn't have one. hmm... how do you learn without a skateboard? and none of her friends have skateboards cuse there all preppy bizotches too. then i saw her at youth group and she had on the same frikin pants as me too! (they were dickie's skateboarding pants) and then shes like "oh! look jeanine!! we almost have the same outfit!" and she was wearing this abercrombie shirt with it that looked so with the rest of her outfit. she tries to hang out with me 24/7... she calls me to talk about "skateboarding" and she doesnt even know what an ollie is. and she buys the same cds as me AND she got her hair cut and highlighted almost exactally like mine! HOW DO I TELL HER I DON'T LIKE HER TRYING TO BE LIKE ME AND FOLLOWING ME AROUND EVERYWHERE? AND THAT SHE SHOULD STOP TRYING TO BE SOMEONE SHES NOT?? help please. thanks. (link)
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It sounds like you don't have a problem with being her friend...just with her copying you. If that's the case, why don't you ignore these silly labels? Friendship is so much more important than funding these super rich stores any way. Have you thought about maybe doing something she's into? If she's prep maybe she's smart? Maybe you could do an exchange, skateboard lessons for homework help or something?
Just try to look past all this surface stuff and into what really matters, seems to me like this other girl is pretty sweet, and obviously willing to get out of hercomfort zone to be friends with you...I'd feel privilegged!
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Hello all,
What does it mean when ur Gf of 2 1/2 years makes me decide all the time, gives me options, (eg) go to my house her house or out, then when i say, choose my house she will tell me she has no way to get here, it really pisses me off, because she should know what she wants and not make things difficult. what should i think from this? i hope that makes sence, i know it probly isnt that big of a deal to you but it is to me. Thanks
(link)
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In the scenario you provided, it sounds like she wants to be romanced again?
After 2 1/2 yrs, maybe she feels like things are a bit too comfortable...ie: she wanted youtocome and pick her up.
As to her making you decide, maybe she wants feedback? Maybe she's afraid you won't like her suggestions?Maybe she dosn't care what you two do, as long as you are together?
Really, I guess you have to ask yourself if it's that big of a deal or whether you can work it through, a 2 1/2 yr relationship seems something too precious to toss away on something as trivial (no offence) as this.
Take care :)
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ok last night i cut myself in the leg. its not deep or anything just like scrathes and i did it with a really dull razor. i did it because i keep fighting with my friends and i can't help it. i had a dream about it that night and i can't stop thinking about it!! i definately don't want to do it again and i most probably won't. DON'T SAY "TALK TO A PSYCHIOTRIST, CAUSE I DON'T NEED TO!!" i just need to figure ot why i would do this and why i can't stop thinking about it, i mean like i know why. i just feel really screwed up in the head and shocked that i would do this. am i screwed??? (link)
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You are so not screwed.If you were, you wouldn't be freaking out about this and seriously asking yourself those important qns.
You're wondering why you would cut? Maybe it's because you are lonely? This would make sense if you are fighting with your friends...maybe you could find someone to spend time with who loves you the way you are (your cat, baby brother, mum)...
Maybe the ways you have been working out conflict with your friends aren't making you feel in control...I tend to bottle my feelings up and simmer,I think it's really important to be able to discuss what's bothering you in a way you both (or all...I don't know how many friends you are fighting with) feel safe...
Maybe it's just time to get some new friends! I don't know why you guys are fighting, but if you are feeling this bleak, baby you need to change something in this picture :)
if u feel like cutting again, or want to talk more about it ---please email me: krisi_joy*AT*hotmail
Take care sweeti
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My freind Trish is labeled the 'smart girl' at school. A lot of the jocks play tease her. (Not in a mean way, just messing around) She wants a boyfreind and to be treated normal, just for people to like her for her, and not have to act any dumber than she is. She's a very nice, open person. She gets all A's and answers a lot of questions in class. She isn't the most beautiful girl in the universe, but she's certainly not ugly. She has a nice, if somewhat preppy, fashion sence, but she's always nice to everyone. I think she intimidates people a little bit though, and also, she never says who she likes, and couldn't flirt to save her life. Any suggestions on how she could be more attractive to the opposite sex? And less intimidating? (link)
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Does your friend Trish even care or is it only you who is worrying about this problem?
If she is worried, she needn't be, she sounds like an amazing, talented girl who will probably attract a more mature guy, in the right time...
Perhaps instead of making her focus on this problem, you could have fun together, without focusing on the need to 'marry her of'. That's unless Trish is really you, and in that case, make some more girl friends
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hi. im 13/f. i was just wondering how to get a bf. i mean, ive never had a relationship or kiss or anything. and i feel bad at school when i hear girls talking bout their bfs. i am shy round guys and...yeah. :( it sux. help please. please dont say "flirt" or crap. what can i do 2 get a bf? (link)
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Sounds to me like you feel like you are missing out on all the fun. I think it's great to be 13 and not kissed yet :) Don't feel like you have to find a boyfriend and kiss himjust because everyone else is.
Try making some friends who are boys---really, that's the best way to get a decent boy friend...you could suggest you and your friends do something with a bunch of boys, or if that's weird, could you join a youth group or a club at school? That way you could do something you enjoy and meet some boys...:)
~goodluck~
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My life stinks and i hate it I have like no friends cuz i go to such a small school. And my parents are having a divorse which is not going good. We are losing all are money my parents are both dating i hate my moms boyfriend who is a jerk my mom doesnt want to tell my dad that she has a boyfriend cuz shes a weirdo and she just yells at me all the time because i dont like her stupid boyfriend i have a boyfriend but he is MIA (missing in action) havnt heard from him in like a month. And my brother is a big jerk and i just want advice on what i should do I want to kill my self.
HELP ME (link)
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It sounds like you are worrying about stuff you don't need to yet. You are the kid, not the parent, you are not responsible for you family's money, nor are you able to choose who your mum and dad date...that said, Ican fully relate to the lack of friends due to being at asmall school thing. When I was at school I was at this tiny country school where you stuck out if you didn't want to own a cattle ranch and get married at 18. I found that reading books really helped me, because I could read about other people and places, in a way, live in a bigger world.
I think the key to finding a friend is by looking a little outside the box, is there someone else who you think could use a friend? Maybe someone who gets picked on but you feel you can relate to?
Also, how about getting involved with some other kids your age through a camp or a youth group? You need support around you, but even if you don't have much at the moment, remember that this time won't last forever, it will definitley become easier as you grow up, don't be too hard on your self, your life dosn't have to be perfect today :)
With the killing yourself thing, do you really want to kill yourself or just want the pain to end? You have other ways to end the pain...friends, counselling, God (if you want to give him a try)
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is it alright to not tell your mother baout your period for a few months, because i know if i tell her she will get all emotional and cry and be all my lil baby is growing up and now we have a special bond. i am the only daughter with 2 older brothers. im al right on getting pad and stuff....im just wondering if its safe to not tell for a few months plz help! (link)
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Yay!! you're a woman!!!
My sister didn't tell my mum for a few months and there wasn't a problem.
If you don't feel comfortable telling her, then don't...it's your body and you need to be comfortable with her knowing. However, you probably should find an older friend or cousin or aunty to talk to about it, just in case...And just in case you don't here's some elderly sister advice:
* Never flush tampons down the toilet (or pads)
* Don't sleep with a tampon in
* Change your pad every four hours or so...
* Definitley tell someone if you get yellow discharge or really bad cramps...
* Tim tams are the best period food
:)
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Pardon me for sounding emo. I really can't stand myself. I make bad choices, I am a terrible friend, and some of the things I say--that I hardly ever mean--really hurt people. Sometimes I can't even stand to look at myself in the mirror. My family doesn't seem to like me either. I don't have many friends. The only ones I have are jerks--but I don't feel like I have a right to get mad at them. It's what I deserve. I feel so guilty, but I can't think of anything that I have done wrong... But everything I do seems to be wrong, and I am always getting punished for things that I can't help. I am a terrible person. (link)
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Hey there no name :)
You seemed to be trying to construct an argument supporting the thesis that you 'are a terrible person'.
Pardon me for being anally analytical, but the reasons you gave for your conclusion do not substantiate this argument, they merley support the conclusion that you are human.
You are never going to be perfect, yes you will hurt people and there will be days or even years you will avoid the mirror...but guess what?
You can choose to be the kind of friend you want yourself, you can choose to make good choices, even if you just start with little ones...You don't have the ability to change your circumstances, but you so can change the way you react ---
Be strong, I know you wouldn't have written that message if you didn't have a tiny little inkling it wasn't true. While I think your pain is, the reasons for it aren't permanent, they are easily alterable...Go get 'em tiger.
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