Relax
Relax(don't be overbearing and jump to conclusions)

First you are probably casting him in to good a light. He has many flaws also, but it's not your job to focus on his flaws unless they are affecting you directly. The same goes for him.

You need to stop being scared of everything. Live in the moment. Don't think about the past or the future, if you do you'll ruin the moment. If it's meant to be then it's meant to be, if not there are plenty of fish in the sea.

A wise man once told me that "I don't have a right to know what you think about me." That is just a simple fact of life. We never really know what others think about us. In reality it's really of very little importance. What matters is what do you think about you. If you like yourself then others will too. Don't worry so much. If you don't see the good in yourself then neither will anybody else. If you do see the good in yourself then maybe that's what he see's as well. I have a feeling you don't have very high self esteem and don't really see the good in yourself or you wouldn't be asking this question. The question you should be asking is what do I see in myself. Once you have the answer to that you'll know what others see in you as well.

If you are really working on yourself each and every day then you have nothing to worry about. Just make sure you really are and not just telling yourself that you are.

Remember to relax.

Hope this helps

That's my advice

I used to do back handsprings until I hurt my wrist.

First I would start by using a wrist guard to give extra support to your wrists until they are strong enough...I sure wish I had. Next practice on a mat, this will give you extra cushion if you fall and confidence that you won't get hurt to bad. Get a spotter. Make sure your spotter is a pro a back-handsprings and is strong enough to get you around. I would reccomend a male spotter since he'll have more upper body strength to hold you.

Once you have all those conditions met, practice. The more you practice the better you'll get at it. The better you get the more the fear will go away.

Remember when you learned to ride a bike. At first you had to have those training wheels. After that you wanted somebody there to hold the bike in case you fell, but...once you could actually ride on your own with the thought that you can keep the bike up under normal conditions it was no longer fear but it was quite enjoyable. The same thing will happen with back handsprings. Once you got them down it'll be all fun and no fear.

That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Get rid of him. It seems like I give that advice a lot.

If he isn't nice to you in front of people or school, it sounds like he has low self-esteem and as you pegged it he wants to look cool.

Well you don't have to be the object of somebody elses wanting to be cool. You could start by explaining to him the situation and telling him how it hurts your feelings and makes you feel bad and then wait to see if it gets any better. But...you can't change another person and usually things like this don't change.

I'd try having a conversation with him but in the end if he continues this behavior I would dump him. No man is worth your happiness.

That's my advice

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Look you need to be firm with him. You should absolutely talk to him, but I don't think it should be a one on one conversation. I think you should get him and her together and can even have your boyfriend there if you want(for support) and confront him about it. Tell him in front of her, "look you're dating one of my best friends and I am way to close to her to let you get in the way. It makes me very uncomforatble when you constantly hitting on me and making advances at me. I don't appreciate what you are doing to my friend by cheating on her and doing things behind her back. I am only going to say this once. Do not hit on me ever again. Do not flirt with me. I am not interested in you. I have a boyfriend and even if I didn't I wouldn't be interested in somebody who cheats and is disloyal like you are." That's it. If all 4 of you are together I think the message will be clear.

Under no circumstances should your boyfriend attack this guy. Violence is not the key to this situation and will only make matters worse. Just confront him and tell him how you feel and make sure your friend is there so that there are no misgivings about your intentions or what you said to him. Make sure in the dialogue you make it clear that this is half you being uncomfotable and half your being loyal to a friend you care about.

I think this should help to eleviate the problem. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Really bad idea. You could give yourself an infection.

I can tell you that you should use a gold plated pin to pierce it. You should dip it in isopropyl or ethyl alcohol(rubbing alcohol will do) to try to get any germs off of it. You can also heat it with a lighter first to burn off bacteria and then use the alcohol.

Even after all that you will be exposing your blood or an open wound to air and inserting a foreign object into your bloodstream. It's really a bad idea. And even after burning and alcohol there is no guarantee that you won't injure yourself or get sick from it.

With that being said why would you disobey your parents? It's not like they are telling you you can't go on a trip or do something you've really worked hard for. They haven't broken a promise to you. They are simply telling you not to put holes in your body. I can tell you that later in life you may regret doing it.

I pierced my ear on a bet a long time ago. I only wore the earring for 2 weeks. The hole has never closed up and there is a bump on my left ear from it that never went away.

Listen to your parents. When you get older you can always pierce it if you want to. Why not wait, it's not really all that important to have a hole in your belly button anyway. And I can tell you that most guys don't find piercings all that appealing.

Again I strongly suggest you don't do it. I just gave you the information that I did in case you are going to do it to minimize the risk to yourself.

Hope this is helpful. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Feelings are never wrong, you just need to analyze where they are coming from.

You are feeling a little insecure cause your friends left you out and that's normal. But why did they leave you out? Was it an oversight? Did they do it on purpose or maliciously? Maybe they wanted to spend time together alone? Maybe one of them had something they needed to share with the other of a persoal nature and they didn't want anyone else around. It may have absolutely nothing to do with you at all. Maybe they're not happy with each other and this is a way to settle their differences. I don't know the entire situation, all I am saying is that there are a lot of possibilites and you'll probably never know the truth. Try to judge them favorably and give them the benefit of the doubt. But in reality, even though it seems really important to you right now, it doesn't really matter what the reason is.

You matter. And you are letting yourself get to yourself. It's not about them it's about you. They're going to have a merry time with or without you. You need to figure out how to be merry by yourself and not worry about what mary and cindy are doing. Go hang out with another friend. Do something with your parents or a family member. Read a book. Do something productive. the most important thing is not to mope about it.

Be happy. Life is great. You just finished your finals. All that hard work is over and it's time to relax. Don't ruin it for yourself. You can have a sleepover with either one of them whenever you want after tonight. Or you can have one with a different friend. Or not have one at all cause it's all about what you want to do to make yourself happy.

Hope this is helpful. That's my advice.


John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Exercise your dog. If it was a person they would probably look at possibly thinning the blood. Maybe a pacemaker. There are other drugs as well. Some people if it's bad enough take morphine. I have a heart murmur. I can tell you that in humans stress makes it worse and exercise makes it better. So...take your dog for runs. Not just walks but runs. Get his heart pumping at a good rate for 15 mins or longer, do it every day. It'll do you some good to. Also try to cut his stress level down. I am not sure what kind of stress dogs have but if there is a child around that pulls his fur or a neighborhood dog or cat that taunts him, etc. those are the elements you should try to minimize. Don't make him wait to long to go to the bathroom, and definately don't yell at him or hit him.

It's so sad to see a pet suffer but I don't think anyone will prescribe you medicine or insert a pacemaker for a heart murmur in a dog...but you never know. You'd have to talk to a vet and see what if any medical assistance is available. Talk to a young vet that does surgeries and works in an animal hospital, he'll probably be more up on the latest stuff available. Hope this is helpful. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

The membrane that leads back to the anus called the perennial membrane is very sensitive. The inside linings of the anus are also very sensitive and thin. If you have anal sex esepecially for the first time, odds are you damaged and ruptured those thin linings. I know it sounds bad the way I describe it but it's really not. It's kind of like on a cold dry day some people blow their nose and get a nose bleed. The same thing can happen with any membrane. That's where the pain comes from and that's why you're walking funny, cause everytime you move your rubbing that sensitive area that's already had a lot of trauma to it. If you do it more often the muscles will loosen slightly and the membrane will get stronger so it won't be as bad, not that I am reccomending it I am simply stating a fact. In addition using lots of lubrication will also help. I just hope you are aware that venerial diseases spread easily through anal sex especially aids so make sure whoever your partner is clean and you use a condom. As far as the shakes go, how long ago did you do this? If it was last night than your system could be in shock to the trauma you did down their and will be okay in a day or two. If the shakes continue I'd go see a doctor. As far as people posting you have a disease or hemmoroids, the odds are very unlikely and shouldn't be a concern. Very few venerial diseases or other things pop up so quickly. Usually it is just an internal thing in your body. And those things clear up easily and quickly most of the time. I'd wait a couple days and then go see a doctor if they don't go away. Most importantly don't drive yourself crazy over it, relax and if it doesn't get better you'll take the next appropriate step, be positive. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Just about every James Taylor and Cat Stevens song works great with one guitar and you singing.

Some James Taylor songs you might know:
Fire and Rain
I'm your handyman
You've got a friend

Cat Stevens
Moonshadow
father and son

These are songs that are really geared toward what you want to do.

Also just about eveybody learns stairway to heaven by led zeppelin. It sounds amazing on accoustic maybe the best.

The beatles song black bird is great on accoustic and also maybe one of the best.

If you want something more contemporary than try Stone Temple Pilots I think the song is plush. It's the one where some of the lyrics are, "where you going till tomorrow, where you going with that mask I found, and I feel I feel when the dogs begin to smell her, etc..."

If you get the program guitar pro it has 10's of thousands of songs with tabs and shows you how to play them. It's the best guitar program ever written. Check it out.

Hope this was helpful. That's my advice.

bobcohen5309@yahoo.com

It depends on what OS you have, if you have software for it and a cd burner. Assuming you have both a burner and software there will be a few ways.

If you are running xp put all the songs you want to burn into a folder on your desktop(this will make it easier for you especially if you want to burn multiple disks).

Next insert a blank cd into the drive. XP should bring up a message asking you if you want to make a cd. Click on it to make an audio cd and go through the wizard. It will automatically convert the mp3's you downloaded into wav files and burn them so they work in a regular cd player.

If you don't have xp(or even if you do) then try sticking a blank cd into the drive. double click my computer and you should cd the cd rom/writer drive usually drive d. Drag the songs into it and it should ask you if you want to burn a music cd. click yes and follow the directions. If you can't do that then you need to run a seperate program.

The most common program is called nero. It is easy to use and self explanatory. It has a wizard that runs you through everything. If you don't have nero then you need to run the one you do have. If you don't have any then I would suspect either you don't have a cd burner or you got one that didn't come with your system and did not load the software.

You're going to need some kind of burning software. I reccomend nero for a beginner. It's easy to use and easy to get. Hope this helps. Feel free to write me if you have any other problems.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

It depends what it's made out of. If it's cotton then wash it in hot water by itself(in case of color bleeding). Take it out right when it's done and put it in the dryer for 45 mins or until completely dry on the highest hottest setting possible. That should do it. If it's acrylic, polyester, or other synthetics you're probably out of luck. If it's a blend it should still work but you need to make sure you don't damage the material or the color. You can ask me if you have more questions. Hope this helped. That's my advice.

John
Bobcohen5309@yahoo.com

The best program I ever used was the legendary abs program. It is amazing and only takes a few minutes.

You start laying on your back and swing your legs to a 90 degree angle from the floor and then kick up to the ceiling like you're going to land on it and then swing your legs back down. do 2 sets of 20 with 45 sec rest in between.

wait 30 secs

do 25 crunches with your legs in air at 90 degree angle and do the crunch to the ceiling not to the knees.

immediately do 20 half situps feet on floor and crunch but this time elbows toward the knees.

Try this for a few weeks. when you have it down contact me again.

Now this is only half the battle. These exercises will tone and strengthen the muscles but to show abs you'll have to dies. They say if you have more than 1/4" layer of fat on your stomach you can't see stomach muscles. So you have to change your percentage of body fat to lean muscle. If you can get down to 12% or lower you'll have great looking abs.

The way to do this is to diet and exercise. You need to do weight resistance training four times a week for at least 1/2hour a day preferably 45 mins. You need to lift heavy until your muscles feel fully exerted. You'll be in pain the next day for about three weeks afterwhich it won't be so bad. As far as diet goes no sugar. No soda, fruit juices, gatorade, etc. Skim Milk, coffee, water are all good. No vegetable oils. No corn or soybeans or their byproducts(byproducts are worse). The best oil to use for cooking is coconut oil. After that use Olive oil. Use as little oil as possible. Cut out baked goods. No pizza, bread, pasta, cookies, cake. Eat green vegetables, salad. Watch out for salad dressing though no more than 50 calories per serving. And eat lots of protein, chicken without the skin, fish, lean meat are all good. Fatty meats are still better than baked goods. Anyway this should get you started. Make sure you keep the bad foods out of your house. If you have them their you will eat them.

If you follow this dies and exercise regime you'll have a much much flatter stomach in as little as six weeks. I mean huge improvement. Stick with it for 3 months and not only will you look great but you'll feel great, more energy, more self esteem.

That's my advice.

John
bobcohen5309@yahoo.com

bobcohen5309@yahoo.com

john

Dancing is like anything the more you do it the better you get. Put some dance music on, anything with a beat will do(rab/r&b). Get in front of a mirror, full length preferably, if you don't have one you can get one at target for less than $10 believe me it's a good investment. And start moving in front of the mirror. Listen to music you like. Watch some music videos for ideas on moves and just do it. I guarantee you if you spend 1/2 hour a day 5 days a week in front of the mirror doing it that in 6 weeks you'll be an above average dancer. No joke. I did it. I never learned to dance and then I tried this and listened to Michael Jackson or whatever and walah I am a very good dancer now. I can move to the beat no prob. I know it might sound foolish but just do it, practice makes perfect. Good Luck! That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

I would stay right where you are and see if you lose any more weight. Your gains diminish the more you lose. It might be quite possible that you won't lose anymore weight with your current caloric intake, but would gain if you increased it. I'd wait it out a month and see what happens if you continue to lose then you could increase it 150 calories but I don't think you'll see anymore significant drop where you're at. The problem with weight watchers is they suck you into their diet and you don't know exactly what to do afterwards as you are experiencing now. I do like the fact that you are looking at calories(which is their system) because afterall it is how many calories you burn to how many you take in that deals with weight loss/increase. What kinds of oils do you use. I'd reccomend cutting all vegetable oils out except coconut and olive. Coconut oil actually stimulates your thyroid and has 40% less calories then other oils. Try it. It tastes great and you probably could increase your caloric intake without affecting your plan. Do you east weight watchers food? I'd try to figure out the caloric comparisons in their food to regular food so you can get off their food. It's expensive and not practical for the rest of your life. Anyway I guess I answered more than you asked but such is life. And most importantly CONGRATULATIONS! It's awesome that you hit your goal weight. It takes a lot of discipline and hard work to get there. You deserve a big pat on the back. Hope this was helpful. That's my advice.

John
(bobocohen5309@yahoo.com)

Look life is difficult enough without people calling us names on a regular basis. Get rid of her. She is a human being just like you. She obviously has something going on in her life that is making her feel low self esteem. She makes fun of you to elivate herself and feel better about herself. With that being said I wouldn't judge her as a bad person, just somebody who is sick inside and expresses it this way. However, that has nothing to do with what you need to do. You need to feel good about yourself as well and it'll be difficult to feel that way with your "bestfriend" as you call her, making fun of you all the time. It's time to make a new best friend. I would sit down with her and explain calmly and nicely that she hurts your feelings when she says these mean hatefull things to you and that you're trying to get rid of the bad elements in your life so you think it's best if you guys don't hang out anymore. I think if you do it that way it'll be a big shock to her. I also think she'll probably stop calling you names whenever you see her around. Just a thought. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

I modeled print and runway in the past and have many friends who are actors. The key to getting into acting is quite simple, ACT! Do as many plays as you can. It doesn't matter if it's in school or wherever. Take as many classes as you can. Network as much as possible. Get your name out there. Everyplace is good. Now if they charge you money I'd question it. This industry works on talent and getting to know people. There are a lot of scams out there where you pay them to do a portfolio for you and they say they'll represent you. I've never seen or heard of anybody being succesfull in the industry from one of those places. Do some model shoots. Photographers will photograph you for free if they can have equal rights to the shots. Do plays at community centers even religious institutions. Look the idea is to gain experience and get your name out there. Good luck with it. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Get rid of both of them. First your very young to be worrying about guys and all that stuff. I know it feels good physically to be with a guy and you can feel very emotional highs, but...it's also very spiritually and mentally draining and if you're not ready for it can be very damaging. With that said your friend is not a friend to do this to you. If she was genuinely interested in this guy then fine it's all fair game. But what she is doing is making you feel bad that he wants her and not you. She's trying to make herself superior to you, probably because deep down inside she feels inferior. Whatever the case may be really doesn't matter. What does matter is your happiness and internal peace. You are not going to feel that with a so called friend doing this to you. In addition the guy is doing you a real disservice. He is playing both sides of the fence. He wants her but if he can't then you're his fallback. Honey you're not anybodys second best. So drop him. You don't need either of them. You'll have plenty of good friends and a boyfriend when the time is right. All you need is you to feel good about you. I'm willing to bet if you stop talking to both of them and stop giving either of them attention all of this will die down very quickly and you can get on to being you. Hope I was helpful. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

Use conditioner every time you shampoo. A good conditioner that is cheap is the european stuff called, "tresemme", in big black bottles. You can get it at walgreens. It is relatively cheap and good. The only difference between most conditioners is the amount of water in them. Some are thicker than others. The one I recommended is a good consistency and value. Be generous with the amount you put on your hair. After getting out and drying it take a dab of it in your hands and spread it through your dry hair. This should keep your locks healthy and soft. Give it a shot. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

No problem. Hold the incense stick in one and and light it with the other. Hold the flame over the end(thicker end with incense on it) until it is burning, yes it will be a flame. Let the flame burn about 20 seconds then blow on it hard to put out the flame. What you should have now is a bright red cherry at the top. No flame just red smoldering. A thin stream of smoke should be coming from it. Put the thin end into the incense holder and walah! let it burn. If you did all of this and it worked the way I said but you still don't like the smell then you have bad incense. Try a different flavor. Hope this helped. That's my advice.

John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)

It depends. Physically probably not a problem it's actually good to trick your metabolism once in a while, but...that's not really your question. Psychologically it could be really bad. You're doing a great job and I'd pat you on the back if I was there. It's not easy to be disciplined and lose weight and 18 pounds is a lot for anybody. Your doing so well, don't mess it up. Look if an alcoholic who's doing so well says hey I've got 6 months sober I'm going to kick back and have a beer to celibrate we'd think that was a bad idea. And it would probably mean that he'd feel more loosely about drinking again and his guard will go down. If you eat that pizza and you know how good it is going to taste then you're going to want it again and other things as well. You'll start to make allowances all over the place and put that weight back on again. Remember you did this with tough discipline so if you're going to eat pizza once in awhile it has to also be done with discipline. What I would do is make a contract with yourself. Set out the parameters under when you can splurge. I can eat pizza once a week or once a month or whatever fits. I can have one glass of soda a week. You could even make it a splurge day. Set it the beginning of the month so that you don't even have to ask yourself can I have pizza tonight, cause you can simply look at your contract and get the answer. It would be torture for me if I had to ask myself these kinds of questions over things that require discipline. Simply make something that you can keep too and that will keep you on this marvelous path you've set yourself on. You've done a great job and there's no reason why you can't keep going. Good luck with it. That's my advice.

I am here to help you with whatever problems you have. I have traveled the world. I have mentored and sponsored people in the past. I have volunteer taught. I have worked with disabled people.

Ask, I am here for you.

Just remember it really is a beautiful world out there.

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