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This is a weird situation. Kinda long. Sorry.
Okay, here's how it is: one of my best friends' boyfriend (I'll call him K) isn't the loyal type, but she doesn't really care. The only problem is, he has a crush on me but won't admit it. EVERYBODY in the choir (we're choir geeks, sosumi) knows he likes me. I have a boyfriend. I have no feelings for K. It doesn't bother her that he talks to her about her other crushes. It just bothers her when he talks about me, 'cause I'm one of her closest friends.
I've been considering the following plan: Actually yanking him aside one day during lunch or whatever and saying "look, I don't like the way you're always hitting on me and stuff like that. It really kind of bothers me, and I'd appreciate it if you stopped." If he doesn't stop after that, I figure I'd sic my boyfriend on him and get him to tell K to lay off me (but my guy already wants to beat K up for hitting on me, lol).
What do you guys think of this idea? Is it a good idea? Do you have any other suggestions? I hate to see my friend upset...=(
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
You need to lay down the law to this boy (cos he's definitely no man!)
Tell him that you are not interested in him and even if he was single and you were single and he was the last man on earth you wouldn't touch him with a bargepole.
Try and explain to him how he is making your friend feel and that she deserves more respect from him than that.
I wouldn't go and get your boyfriend involved. I understand he must be upset but the last thing you want is an atmosphere created between your best friend and you because your boyfriends have been fighting each other - especially as your friend needs people like you around her with the boyfriend she has!
Take care and I REALLY hope it all works out for you.
Mel xxx
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You have to take a stand. Tell K that he should respect your friend, and not treat her like any other girl. Its also a very good idea to tell him that your not interested. Make sure you have his full attention, and make sure he understands this clearly! Then you should talk to your friend. Tell her that her boyfriend makes you uncomfortable. Let her make the decision of letting him loose, or keeping him. But, whatever you do, don't nag her until she breaks up with him, she could be in "love". YOu never know, so be very careful, one wrong move and you could hurt a lot of people!
~Nice_Girl75~
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Look you need to be firm with him. You should absolutely talk to him, but I don't think it should be a one on one conversation. I think you should get him and her together and can even have your boyfriend there if you want(for support) and confront him about it. Tell him in front of her, "look you're dating one of my best friends and I am way to close to her to let you get in the way. It makes me very uncomforatble when you constantly hitting on me and making advances at me. I don't appreciate what you are doing to my friend by cheating on her and doing things behind her back. I am only going to say this once. Do not hit on me ever again. Do not flirt with me. I am not interested in you. I have a boyfriend and even if I didn't I wouldn't be interested in somebody who cheats and is disloyal like you are." That's it. If all 4 of you are together I think the message will be clear.
Under no circumstances should your boyfriend attack this guy. Violence is not the key to this situation and will only make matters worse. Just confront him and tell him how you feel and make sure your friend is there so that there are no misgivings about your intentions or what you said to him. Make sure in the dialogue you make it clear that this is half you being uncomfotable and half your being loyal to a friend you care about.
I think this should help to eleviate the problem. That's my advice.
John
(bobcohen5309@yahoo.com)
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I think you should try and talk to him first. You have to lay down the law and make him understand. Also explain to him that your boyfriend also doent like it and you both would really appreciate it if he stops. If he keeps at it then its okay to have your boyfriend confront him, but try as much as you can to keep violence out of it. Hope my advice helps!
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