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Hey :-) I'm Claire. This may be a new column, but I've been an advicenator for a while now (I got a new column for the new year) and am experienced at answering your questions! I love helping people and will try my very best to solve your problems. Feel free to ask me anything and make sure to let me know how everything turns out for you xxx :-P
Gender: Female
Location: Scotland
Occupation: Student/Odeon Team Member
Age: 16
Member Since: January 31, 2006
Answers: 52
Last Update: June 7, 2006
Visitors: 2081

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when i run i lose my breath so easily! i'm in good shape and run a lot but after 7 yards of running, i feel like i'm going to pass out! is it normal to have to stop running for a second and catch your breath?! when i was running a mile, i had to stop to catch my breath about 8 times. is it normal to have to stop? and what can i do to stop this so i can run long distances without stopping? (link)
Everyone needs to stop from time to time. However if you are in good shape and you do need to stop often, you may have asthma. This was the case for me before I got my inhalers. You should go to the doctors and get it checked out just in case. It wont hurt you if you dont, but if it is asthma then the inhalers will stop this and enable you to run longer distances.

Good luck

Sapphire Lily xxx

When you shave are you supposed to shave the upper part of your leg too? I never have because the hairs are so light you can notice...but are you supposed to? (link)
No, not if you dont want to. Your just lucky they are so light you can't notice them! Its only people that are darker that would shave there.

I wouldn't bother if your hair is so light, especially if that part of your leg wont be seen too much anyway.

Sapphire Lily xxx

hi im Tanisha and i need help i like my best friend boy friend i know thats wrong but i liked him first . i really dont want him to know cause i know he might say i dont like you , but i look better then my friend and i know its not always about the looks and stuff like that but i want him for my self and im scared to tell my friend how i feel or tell him . i never did this stuff like this and i know if i tell her that i like her boy friend (kyle) she would start crying so what should i do (link)
Tough shit, thats all I can say. Too bad if you liked him first, you had your chance to make your move but you didn't. Now because of your selfish feelings you are willing to ruin the happiness of two people, one of which is your best friend!! You have no right to call her that if that's what you are willing to do to her and I think its horrible that you believe just because you are prettier than her, you deserve him more. You are an awful person if you break them up and believe me it will come back to haunt you.

Keep this to yourself and find someone else. You have to, for your friend's sake. I'm sorry if I have been mean but my friend stole my bf and I have no sympathy for people like you.

Again really sorry

Sapphire Lily xxx

Hey, so, I'm in an odd situation. I think my friend likes me.
1. We were talking about a picture, and he said I'm probably more beautiful in person.
2. He always asks when I'll be back online and if he can call me.
3. We had this weird conversation and he called me beautiful again.

So, the thing is, I don't like him like that if he does like me. I actually want to get that through before we hang out someweres. {we've never met in person, he's my best friends friend from a different school}. And, i've seen a picture of him, but honestly, he's not my type. I like, sporty guys/rockers. And he's...just not, and we dont have much in common.But, he's a really nice guy...what should I do? And, how should I bring up asking him if he likes me?
A subtle way of giving him the hint that you don't like him that way is telling him that he's like a brother to you. That usually tells them that you wouldn't go out with your brother, ergo you wouldn't go out with them. This is nicer than simply saying your not interested and avoids awkwardness after you having to tell him that.

However, if your friendship is still faily new then this may not be appropriate. Comparing him to a family member may also work or simply just quizing him about who he likes. While doing this, mention one guy that you like often, to give him the impression that your really interested in this one guy and no one else (even if he is made up, he'l never know!)

Believe me, this is a better way of doing it than just asking him if he likes you. This may just cause your friendship to go sour when you have to tell him you don't like him back.

Hope it works out okay

Sapphire Lily xxx

So..I still love this boy..w/ everything I have..but I feel like me and him are drifting..and just now, he just asked me if I was loosing feelings, because after the first break up .. I stopped getting all flirty towards him and stopped sending cute texts..
But..I feel like .. I am loosing feelings..but I still love him.
but..I want away from him
but I love being w/ you guys understand?
Because frankly.. I don't. =/
When I am around him or talking to him, I feel like I want to be w/ him forever
Then, when I get to thinking about it, I don't want to..its like this boy has be around his finger..but he isn't like that. He's nice, and sweet, and funny..and almost perfect. But lately, when we're on the phone, we have nothing to talk about .. except what went on at school that day or something.

The best thing you can do here is speak to him about it, try and explain to him how you are feeling and find out if he feels the same. Its not fair on him to keep dragging on if you heart isn't truly in it, as it doesn't sound as if you are in the relationship 100% at the moment. You shouldn't need to try to do something like flirt, you should want to do it. If you don't, then there is a problem there.

Only he can truly help you with this. Just be completely honest with him and work things through. It could just be that the excitement that you get when you first start going out is starting to wear off and now your going to have to decide if you still want to keep going.

Good luck, hope I helped

Sapphire Lily xxx

i told one of my friends a year ago that i liked him. he told me he wasn't ready for a relationship, but i think he said that he didn't like me like that. now we are really good friends and i went over to his house the other day and he's this great guy and i wish i was with him. but it's so hard for me to think of him as just my friend. this crush is still lurking. he's going off to college in NY and i guess there isn't anything i can do, except just stay good friends, right? (link)
Right. I do not know how far NY is from you, but its probably best that you avoid a long distance relationship, especially if it would just be beginning as he was leaving. Stay good friends, at least that way you will still be able to be close to him (perhaps not in the way you wish, but still close).

You can never know for sure if he does or does not like you and at the moment I would advise you not to mention it again unless a) he starts it or b)you really feel his mind has changed. If he doesn't feel the same way, it could make your friendship awkward for him if it is the second time your saying it.

Him going away will be good for both of you, it will give you a chance to maybe forget your crush and move on. For him, it may, as the saying goes, make the heart grow fonder.

Good luck, I know unrequited love and all that sucks, but I promise you it will be okay eventually

Sapphire Lily xxx

Theres this girl i really like in my class when she found out i liked her she told her friends well im dating someone and she actually was and she told me this that she had a bf like 4 or 5 times and she wrote me a note saying i should repsect dat she already had a bf. Now could this mean she likes me but she has a bf at the moment and maybe i could be her bf in the future when she breaks up wid him and she is like kinda nervous and shy around me and quiet and i catch her looking at me my fair share of times help plzzz i really like this girl. (link)
I would go against whats been said before and say I actually do think she likes you, her behaviour certainly does suggest it and this is especially so if she started doing it before she found out you liked her. The fact that she also said you have to respect she has a bf instead of simply saying she wasnt interested is also a thumbs up. However the fact she did say this is also for the moment a hint at you to back off. It does sound as if she still likes her bf, even if she may like you. So play it cool for the moment and just be friends with her, not too flirty or you may just end up irritating her and annoying her. Respect her wishes and once she is single again, be ready to make your move but only if she is ready. Remember, if it was a long relationship or she was the one that was dumped, she may need some time to get over it.

Good luck, hope you don't have to wait too long

Sapphire Lily xxx

Okay so now that I have flirted with him I have been trying to find sighns of if he likes me or not so when I am with him and his best friend and me and my friend its just the four of us we are totally chatty and he compliments me and it all works out great and he smiles and looks me in the eye but when we went and hung out in a large group he was totally flirty with this other girl and it felt like he didn't really notice me but he did it was wierd so should i give up on him or what?? (link)
I don't think you should give up on him after one incident. Yes he could be a player that likes to flirt with lots of girls, but theres also just as much a chance that he was doing it to show off to you or try to make you jealous (thus if you were, it would prove to him that you liked him and make him more willing to ask you out).

Since you are not going out, you shouldn't pull him up about it. He shouldn't be flirting with you like that only to be the same with another girl, but to angrily speak to him about it may put him off dating you. So what I think you should do is in a friendly manner, talk to him about it. Tell him you saw him and whoever she is were quite flirty the other night. Ask him, just like any curious friend, if there was/was going to be anything going on between them. This way you just appear like a girl curious for a little gossip or a friend wanting to help out. If he says yes there is, well you unfortunately have your answer and you should give up on him. However if he says no, big thumbs up for you! If he seems eager to change the subject or unwilling to talk about her, then there is still hope. Even if a guy does fancy another girl, with the girl he also likes (usually the one he likes more) he finds he just can't talk about it because he likes her too much (or so I have read).

By doing this, you'll be able to find out where you stand and know where to go from here. Good luck

Sapphire Lily xxx

hello. i really love the sound of the song "black horse and a cherry tree" by KT Tunstall, but i dont quite understand the lyrics. can someone please help me out? (link)
If you want my honest opinion, I think she was stoned, drunk or just simply mental when she wrote this because I can't understand them either. It just seems like some random song that she threw together without trying to find a meaning!

Anyway, my interpretation of it is that she fell in love with someone (the "black horse")that either she shouldn't have/lived in some foriegn place/was someone she didn't expect to like in that way. Although she tried to convice herself that she didnt like him ("Your not the one for me"), in the end she realised she did ("my heart hit a problem in the early hours") and that she maybe even loved him ("I sent it to a place in the middle of nowhere with a big black horse"). However, she never ever followed it through ("my heart wont forgive me after all these years") and although in her heart she knows she does love him (thats why her heart has stayed in the place with the horse and the tree), she tries to convince herself she did the right thing by not following it through(ending the song with "your not the one for me").

So there we are, thats what I think. Of course, it could be a lot of gibberish and KT's symbols of the black horse and cherry tree may mean something completely different. Hope I helped though, even just to help you come up with ideas :)

Sapphire Lily xxx

i am 15/f, and i have had a crush on a guy friend of mine for a few months now. We talk all the time, in our group we talk together the most and lately i feel like there is more. For instance, on the way back from school trips on the bus i have put my head on his shoulder and he seemed to like it, when i have put my head on his shoulder while watching a movie with some other friends they told me that they saw him leaning into it. A few other things like when we were getting ready for dinner he would help me out, and he sat next to me and stayed in a pretty cold hot tub with some other couples, which would be kinda awkward unless he liked me right? idk, at any rate he is kinda shy when it comes to romantic stuff and if you could tell me if he likes me, and if he does what should i do now to make him feel more comfortable to initiate things, like arm around the shoulder holding hands type stuff? by the way his birthday is coming up in a couple weeks, should i do something then?

thanks (link)
Yeah I would say he likes you. He seems to be doing things just to spend time with you, such as helping you get ready for dinner and staying in the cold tub. Also, the whole head-on-shoulder thing, if he wasn't interested he would have either told you to stop or moved away, but he didn't he leaned into it. Ergo, I am sure he is interested in you.

His birthday is the perfect opportunity for you. It gives you an excuse to ask him to go out somewhere with you without the whole awkard "like on a date?" thing. Go out just the two of you, to somewhere where you have the chance to get closer to him, eg. the cliche:the cinema. Preferably a scary movie as this means in a moment of 'terror' you could take his hand or huddle closer into him. Plus the hormones released when we get scared are actually what attract us to the opposite sex. So GET SCARED! Fingers crossed you'll end up closer than you have ever been and as the movie ends, you could bring up the subject of being more gf/bf like. Then see where it goes from there.

Good luck hunni, go get him!!

Sapphire Lily xxx

It was my birthday a couple of days ago. I was at work when I checked my voice mail messgages. I male friend of mine left a really sweet message. He was singing happy birthday in a really romantic voice. Then he said he would be sending me a small gift in the mail ( he lives out of town). None of my other male friends have done that for me? Do you think it sounds like he may like me as more than a friend? (link)
Yes I think he does. In my experience, men are only willing to something like this which could lead to them being very embarrassed if they really like a girl. He's showing how far he is willing to go for you and how much he cares, which is emphasized by the gift in the mail. I think a thank you outing is in order :)

Have fun

Sapphire Lily xxx

i like this guy....(duuhh) ok uhh and we were pretty good friends but we had this fight(he told me he loved me and i acted kinda weird /mean) and he never talked to me since than! then i called him and appologized but he only was like:uhu yeah blablabla ok and i do like him and everytime i see him he lookes at me today he even smiled once but i thought that was just because he was laughing at a joke...and at the bus today he looked at me in a sad kinda way....and i wanna be friends again but im just scared that when i talk to him again he'll be like all weird again
so what should i say? and how should i act when he's weird?? does he still like me cause he also never talkes to me??
please help

i'll rate!!! (link)
Your reaction has hurt him and wounded his pride. Hence the sad looks and him not speaking to you. You must understand, he has the right to be angry and the right to remain silent. That is why if you wish to repair your broken friendship, it will have to be you to make the moves. Start conversations with him, invite him to nights out with friends, etc, etc.

However the best fix of all would be just to tell him how you feel. If you do like him, then swallow whatever nervousness you have and tell him because I am sure he still likes you! You could end up together, especially if you can screw enough courage to ask him yourself (this would prove how much you care).

Good luck hunni

Sapphire Lily xxx

so theres these two boys... i like them both.. but im confused abt both of them. lets call one of the boys Bob.. Bob goes to school with me, hes a 9th grader, im a tenth. He tells my friends he likes me and hes told me and we dont talk that much. and we absolutely never talk in school, i guess hes kinda shy. Boy 2.. lets call him Fred. I met fred when i went to taco bell. he works there. ive seen him like once and then he found me on myspace and we've been talkin ever since. hes talked to my bestfriend and wants to go out with me.. and i do like him too. and he lives closer to me. ok well anyways. i like both of them and i dont know what to do or how to sort this out cause im soo confused!! plz help!! ill rate 5s for anything (link)
Personally I think you should go for Fred. Not only do you talk to him more but he's closer which means you'll probably be able to see him more often which is very important in a relationship. Plus he isn't at school which means you'll both have lots of things to talk about which you won't know, unlike Bob who may already know some stuff that has happened at school.

However if you are still undecided, here's a little test to help you decide. Pluck up the courage and ask them both out on a date. One on one night and the other the next night. Go to exactly the same place and try to do everything the same as you did before. Then you will be able to see who you click better with and who you enjoy being round more. Cruel I know, but a truly effective way of seeing who is better for you.

Good luck

Sapphire Lily xxx

how do i get my crush to stop crossing my mind every other second, litterally. its distracting me from my social, and school life. i know things wouldnt work out and bla blah but i just need to know HOW TO GET HIM OFF MY MIND??! its taking over my life. thanks. (link)
Crazy, isn't it? What's worse is seeing your best friend all over him and then daydreaming about him. Anyway :-), I would recommend you throw yourself into something else, something new and exciting that you havent done before like a martial art. It would be a symbol of moving on, just like dying your hair or getting a tattoo would have the same effect. Celebrate what is so wonderful about you and spend lots of time with your friends. Listen to some great music that you can dance to and that makes you happy your on your own eg. Kelly Clarkson - Since u been gone (cheesy i know but it really works!).

However the real solution would be to tell him. There may be some reason why you can't and thats okay but if you are just presuming it wouldn't work out, then that is just as crazy as this situation. Imagine how great it would be if you could be with him?!!! Don't die wondering what could have been, tell him how you feel!!! Ignore the above if there is a specific reason it wouldn't work though.

Good luck, get him out of your head and move on. It's difficult but you will just end up depressed and lonely otherwise and thats the worst thing in the world.

Sapphire Lily xxx

well im going out with this guy.
and i have been wanting to DATE him for about 2 years now. and now that i have him ;; im kinda bored b.c when i was wanting him. i always had somthing to do. and now that i have him i feel like there nothing else to want so what can i do now.
the relationship is amazing its just.. you know werid b.c i got everything i wanted and i feel like theres. nothing else to want. and now i dont know what i should do? (link)
I know exactly how you feel because this happened to me. When it was me I dumped him and now over a year on, I still wonder what could have been had I given him a proper chance, you know? I would seriously recommend you do not dump him because believe me you may regret it and end up wondering what may have happened just like me.

Write a list of all that attracted him to you in the first place in order to remind you just how great he is. Then try to go out with him as much as you can and do all the coupley things like holding hands, cuddling, etc. A tip though for not getting bored is not to try it all at once. My recent boyfriend and I took it step by step and everytime he did something new, even when it was just a kiss on the neck, it gave me such a rush I got shivers all over! lol! This could be the same for you.

However if after say a week or two, you still feel the same, end it. It is not fair to prolong the relationship on either of you if your heart isnt in it because in the end he may just end up even more hurt.

Very best of luck hunni, I hope everything works out well for you

Sapphire Lily xxx

normally when i play music, the birds chirp and tweet, but today, when i played KISS god ogf thunder, blu(the blue bird) was bobbing its head like crazy, and luking round, and it was soo cute. what does it mean when it bobs its head??? (link)
It's just something the budgies do from time to time. Lol, I always take it to mean they're really excited or they strongly agree with something but thats just my interpretation. Have you been to the vet yet?


ok, well my budgie eat seeds only. they dont eat the dam fruit or vegetables. i tries puttin millet spray next to the vegetables so they get attracted to it, but they just ignore it. why wont they eat the dam vegetables?!

thanx :) (link)
Lol perhaps they just don't like the vegetables or it could be the whole creature of habit thing. Why don't you cut up the vegetables into really small pieces and put them into the dishes where you put the seed? That way they are more likely to eat them. I wouldn't worry if they still don't eat them though, its just not to their taste. My budgie has survived five years without vegetables, so I'm sure yours will be fine :)

i like this boy in my gym class we USTE to be very good buds..We ALMOST dated before .. then he uste to be a real jerk.. so i quit talking to him for about month. i decided to start talking to him and i like him again.. Should I? (link)
Its difficult to say really. In my opinion, any guy that treats you bad at any time is not worth your time ever again but there may be a reason behind why he was acting like a jerk. Was he having a hard time at home maybe or stressed out about exams? If it was because something like this, then he is redeemable. But don't leave it, speak to him about it and let him know that he was bang out of order and that it hurt that he treated you that way, even if he was under pressure elsewhere he shouldn't have taken it out on you. If he is decent enough and cares about you like a friend should, he will apologise. If he does, then sure like him as long as you stamp bad treatment out the second it starts if he ever does it again.

If he was simply being a jerk because he felt like it, then he is not worth it. You deserve someone who respects you and treats you the way you treat them all the time, not just when they want to. Ditch him and find someone that truly deserves to have you! Because in the end, he would just hurt you no matter how nice he is being at the moment.

Good luck, hope it turns out it was the first option

Sapphire Lily xxx

i just am sick of not having any tru friends and best friends. im really sick of it. i try so hard to have best friends when all they do is turn their backs on me. i dont know what im doing wrong. i invite ppl all the time places and nobody even wants to hang with me im giving up i have like no true friends and i dont know what to my opinion.. im prolly the sweetest person. i dont talk much about ppl. so i dont know what im doing wrong. how do i get a best friend. this is killing me. i need more friends tho. well wahtever advice anybody has for me please tell me and i hope i explained well.
=/ (link)
Perhaps the problem is that you are so desparate for a best friend that you are trying too hard and scaring people off because of it. The worst thing in a relationship is to be too clingy with someone, no matter how much you need their attention or company inside. Why don't the next time, go out with just one person on their own. Have a good time, but don't spend too long with them. Make sure they have your phone number and then leave it up to them to text to go out again. If they don't text, they are not worth bothering about and you should move on. However, this makes them feel in control and gives them the impression your fun to be with, not clingy on them at all. This will encourage them to go out again with you.

It also helps to identify all your likes and dislikes and find someone who shares these. This will help build a friendship between you as you can spend a lot of time talking about that thing you both have in common eg. your love of the tv show lost. Try to do this, even if it means you need to expand your search for a friend. It will be worth it in the end.

Another thing you can try is copying their body language. Sitting the same way helps the other person feel more connected with you, even walking with the same foot works! Plus, letting them speak about themselves while you lean forward, nod and ask questions will make them happy as it appears you care about them.

Why don't you try these little bits of advice and then let me know how they work out for you. If they are not successful, tell me and I'll try to help you with other ways

Sapphire Lily xxx

i dont want to luk lyk an idiot at the vets, so just 1 more Q. thw white budgie, is making a noise. lyk a crying/sniffing/steam engine /train/crying noise. whats rong??? itz reely wierd. its just happening 2day. (link)
Hmmm Im afraid you have finally stumped me lol. It could be that it is just a new noise that you havent heard before just like a new word is to us. However, your budgie may have a cold or something similar so I would definetly mention it to your vet just to be on the safe side.

Oh and don't worry about what you ask at the vet. Ask as many questions as you want, no matter how stupid you think they sound. a)it is their job to answer questions like the ones your asking and b)its better for you to know exactly what you need/want to know so that you don't make a mistake later on with your budgies. Good luck at the vets, let me know how it goes xxx

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