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i need a bestt friend =(

Question Posted Tuesday April 18 2006, 4:50 pm

i just am sick of not having any tru friends and best friends. im really sick of it. i try so hard to have best friends when all they do is turn their backs on me. i dont know what im doing wrong. i invite ppl all the time places and nobody even wants to hang with me im giving up i have like no true friends and i dont know what to my opinion.. im prolly the sweetest person. i dont talk much about ppl. so i dont know what im doing wrong. how do i get a best friend. this is killing me. i need more friends tho. well wahtever advice anybody has for me please tell me and i hope i explained well.

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Sapphire_Lily answered Tuesday April 18 2006, 6:11 pm:
Perhaps the problem is that you are so desparate for a best friend that you are trying too hard and scaring people off because of it. The worst thing in a relationship is to be too clingy with someone, no matter how much you need their attention or company inside. Why don't the next time, go out with just one person on their own. Have a good time, but don't spend too long with them. Make sure they have your phone number and then leave it up to them to text to go out again. If they don't text, they are not worth bothering about and you should move on. However, this makes them feel in control and gives them the impression your fun to be with, not clingy on them at all. This will encourage them to go out again with you.

It also helps to identify all your likes and dislikes and find someone who shares these. This will help build a friendship between you as you can spend a lot of time talking about that thing you both have in common eg. your love of the tv show lost. Try to do this, even if it means you need to expand your search for a friend. It will be worth it in the end.

Another thing you can try is copying their body language. Sitting the same way helps the other person feel more connected with you, even walking with the same foot works! Plus, letting them speak about themselves while you lean forward, nod and ask questions will make them happy as it appears you care about them.

Why don't you try these little bits of advice and then let me know how they work out for you. If they are not successful, tell me and I'll try to help you with other ways

Sapphire Lily xxx

[ Sapphire_Lily's advice column | Ask Sapphire_Lily A Question

helpmebrenda answered Tuesday April 18 2006, 5:55 pm:
Hi Sweetie

Maybe your trying too hard. You do sound like a sweet person, and I'm not sure you are doing anything wrong. You just haven't met the right people.

Even on a friendship level there is an attraction (not a physical, sexual one), but an emotional attraction. You need to find people that have similar interests as you.

Are you into sports, or any after school activities? Maybe if you got involved in extra-curricular activities you could meet someone who likes the same things you do. This doesn't just involve sports could be drama, games, computers...pretty much anything. You could ask your parent's to sign you up for a group activity.

Whatever you do, just remember to ALWAYS be yourself and don't change just to please other people. If they don't like you for who you are, then they are not very good friends. Good luck, and take care.


[ helpmebrenda's advice column | Ask helpmebrenda A Question

greeneyedgirl9o answered Tuesday April 18 2006, 5:52 pm:
ok well i think that your problem is proboly that your looking for a best friend, what you need to do first is just look for a friend. once you find a friend that you and whoever it is talk regularly and enjoy eachothers company, then invite them over to hangout, or watch a movie, or something. DONT PRESSURE THEM INTO A SLEEPOVER!!! the reason i say that is because just friends dont sleepover right away. once you and the person go over to eachothers house regularly or hangout regularly, then you can ask them if they want to sleep over. DONT ASK THEM TO GO PLACES! you dont want them to feel like their being forced into something soo dont ask them on trips until at least a year into the relationship. and by trips i dont mean mall, movies, etc. by the way you cant just choose someone to be your best friend, its just something thats meant to be, like fate. my best friend and i met the summer before 6th grade. we didnt become best friends til 7th, and then we took our frist trip together that year to bahamas. shes like my twin soul, we complete eachother, and i dont mean creepy, we're not lesbiens, but shes like my sister. let the relationship develop and dont rush or push, just let it come naturally! good luck, and dont worry everyone has at least 1 best friend out there, you just have to find them.

[ greeneyedgirl9o's advice column | Ask greeneyedgirl9o A Question

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