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December 14, 2005Answers:
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HOPLESSxROMNTC
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Please ask me questions i can answer and i'd like to point out that if you really need advice on relationships thats my specialty! Oh yea and please dont give nasty feedback- i would NEVER "make fun" of a question or person and i would never be nasty to them. i give my honest opiinion and i nor any other columnist deserves bad feedback when they are here trying to help you. if your nice- im nice but if you give me bad feedback when i didnt do anything to you- thats mean so please.
advice
Okay, my best friend was dating my cousin for awhile, but then they broke up, Two weeks ago, they got back togeather, and my cousin came up for a visit. They hung out and everything was okay. Now my best friend (which by the way, there both 13), just broke up with him, cause she's saying "she didn't know how wild he was" because she just found out that he made out with his old girlfriend on her bed! But he wasn't even dating my friend at the time, so it's no big deal. So now she's being all gay, and i dont understand how to deal with this situation. Should i be mad at her, for hurting my cousin, or should i just let it slide? I love my cousin alot, he's like one of my best friends, but she's one of my best friends too! HELP
heyy
I think you should leave the two to work it out on their own. if u get involved it can get complicated. So if your friend tries to drag you into it, just ask her to not involve you because you love them both and dont want to see one of them get hurt.
best wishes!
okay i really need help..sorry this is long..
16/f
me and my best friend *natalie*..well we have been best friends since 1st grade. we were like inseperable..i love her to death. but ever since spring break, she has changed so much. she started skipping school nonstop. she failed the 10th grade. she started drinking alot but then she stopped. she had sex with a 21 year old that we all knew. she yells at me for the stupidest reasons. she freaks out on her parents and calls her mom a bitch and a whore. she doesnt respect my parents. she didnt even come to school to do her finals on the last day. and now its summer. and we usually have SO much fun. but she met some new guys that she hangs out with everyday and she gets drunk with them and gets high with them everyday. i guess she thinks its cool but i really do miss her. and ive tryed telling her that she is too wild and everything but she doesnt listen. all of our friends dislike her now. and i mean ALL of them. she likes this guy named ray but i dont think he likes her cause she is too loud. he doesnt really act like he likes her. i dont know what to do. no ones parents will let their kids hang out with her. i feel bad and i want to.. its just i dont want to get caught up with her and end up getting in DEEP trouble because of her. i really want her as a friend though. i want things how they used to be. what can i do?!?!?
ILL RATE HIGH!..
heyy
well first things first... the reason she started behaving this way. You're friend probably has problems at home that no one knows about. This stress could have "triggered" her. Maybe drinking and doing drugs is her way to relieve the pain. Either way, its not healthy (as im sure you already know) Do her parents know about your friends behavior? They should and if they dont- maybe you can confront them and say that your friend needs serious help. You could be saving your friends life. It is a very serious matter. Regardless of what your friend wants- do whats right and you would be a great friend (which im sure you are) Don't get involved with her new behavior and hang out with some of your other friends for a while. I'm sure you'll have a great summer and i wish you the best!
Ok this Sat.im going to a semi formail dance with my best friend. But here's the thing .. idk how to slow dance, ive never done it before. What do you do? And where should I be looking, in his eyes, or just like around. Im soooo confused , pleaseee help. PS, i really like him so im prob. gonna be nervous
heyy sweetie
well try not to overthink things because that can really mess you up- thinking back on my first slow dance i didnt think much of it, i put my hands on his shoulders, kept my focus on us, and followed his lead.
i hope that helps a little
good luck!!! xoxo
I'm 13 and I'd like to know, how much makeup is too much? On a usual day, I wear eyeliner on the bottom lid, and an opaque, frosty lilac lip gloss. Is this ok? I don't want to look like a clown
heyy sweetie,
well i guess the question would kinda depend on who your asking but i REALLY dont think thats too much make-up. i very highly doubt you look like a clown. just if you change how much make-up you putting on trust me when i say, avoid super dark blush! lol so i hope i can help! xoxo
(female)
Alright so i was wondering, in order for some one to get mono, the person you are kissing has to have it right?
And also would the person you are kissing know that he has it?
Thanks
heyy sweetie
well no you dont have to be kissing someone to catch mono from them- its contaegoues from close body contact. and the person wouldnt necissarily have to know they have mono- maybe if they have all the symtoms or they went to the doctor and the doctor told them.
hope i can help!! xoxo
warning --this is extremely long =\
ok well im 14/f in 8th grade.
ok so the summer before 7th grade like changed everything. theres this boy, chris that i never really talked to until that summer. i dont kno how it started but one day we just started talking online and he told me how he used to like me and everything. after that we just kept talking throughout the whole summer, and that's when i started to like him.
we continued to talk online, but we never actually hung out. then one day, i told him i liked him. he said he liked me too but i kinda just shrugged it off and we didn't go out or anything.
so then 7th grade started. we hardly talked for the first couple months. then i remember in october, there was a halloween dance, and my one friend, who was really good friends with him at the time, was like oh you guys should dance together.. we didn't. i was stupid and just like stood there. i'm also REALLY REALLY shy, so talking to him online for me was easy, but to his face, i got like speechless. i know that after a while though, i'd become more outgoing around him. but that never happened..
so during november, he asked me out again. except it was online and through my friend. i, for the second time, was stupid, and said no. i regret it to this day. like the time before that, he didnt actually ask me out. but this time, he was, and it was soo weird for me cause he would've been my first boyfriend, so i just like freaked out and said no. i regret it soo much. i just wonder how things would've been =[
anyway, i think after that, he had this thing with like kicking me in the hall. lol not like to hurt me.. but yeah soo that was like our thing for a week or two, but then one day i went over to him to kick him and he was like "im not kicking you anymore" i dont know what exactly he meant by that. i dunno if he meant this is stupid, i dont want to get in trouble [cause one time a teacher yelled at us lol] or that he didnt like me anymore. but i duno
after that we continued to talk online still. but it was becoming more me iming him first and he didnt talk as much, it was usually me talking the most .
the rest of 7th grade was just a blur. towards the end he went out with different girls, and rarely talked to me. i still imed him online, but he acted like he didnt care.
i know this sounds weird, but i became kinda like stalkerish online. i like imed him everyday. i regret it alott .i guess i was just desperate for him to like me or something.
the summer was like that too..so then 8th grade started and i dunno what happened. we rarely talk except if he asks to borrow a pen or something. he's only in one of my classes. one time in like september i kinda just like let out my feelings when i was iming him. he told me that im shy, which i know i am..i think thats why he doesnt like me.. he liked me in 6th grade because he didnt know me, and now he thinks he does, but he doesnt b/c im not always shy.
anyway, i havent spoken to him online since september or october. i talk to him in school rarely, but its not even talking its like, him asking me for a pencil and me being like "here" ughh. i just wish things were back to the way they used to be. like the day before 7th grade he was like i cant wait to go to school tomorrow cause ill see you..=[ i miss that.
now we never talk. AND he has a girlfriend..they were going out since october but broke up in february like, twice, but not they're back together. i doubt it will last..
i mean like sometimes i'll catch him looking at me. i duno. i still like him so muchh. he probably doesnt even remember or care, about what happened between us. i just wish he would realize what it means to me. i dunno wut to do. how should i talk to him? i want us to atleast talk more again. i know i should get over him but ive tried and i cant. should i say something to him in class, and what should i say? should i try iming him again? or would that be weird since i havent imed him since september? im desperateee=[ thank you so much
heyy
well i dont think i have exactly what your looking for but i've been in the SAME postion (actually right now lol-everything you just said matches me more/less) so your not alone but anyway deffinately i/m him because i i/med "my" guy lol for the first time after september and just carried it by the usual (hi, whats up, how did you think you did on that test?) how i started talking to my friend again i just simply stopped him for two seconds and said- hey we never talk anymore. i dont know if the guy you like will catch on but mine did and we started talking.
goodluck and i hope i helped! xoxo
Right, my best friend is usually really nice, but recently she keeps putting me down, mostly about things that arent even true. She keeps pointing out people and saying they're taller than me and teasing me about my 'frizzy' hair. Shes even started being mean about the things i like. Like my big eyes she says are weird and the other day she said "I like my tummy better than yours" and i really like my toned tummy. Even though most of it isnt true, its really getting me down. What should i do? Please do not tell me to talk to her about it because she would just tell me i'm being stressy.
heyyy Maybe yourfriend is insecure or jealos of you? maybe something is wrong at home? see if you can ask a sibling of hers or another close friend? if not, then maybe you can just give her time to chill and go hang with other friends. if she stays the same then maybe its time to get a new bff (if she is- you didnt mention) so i hope all goes well and i hope i can help! xoxo
One of my best friends likes the same guy as me. Well my and my crush (Ross) have been talking alot latley and he told me he likes me. I don't know how to tell her that he likes me. I don't wanna sound like I'm trying to rub it in her face, but I don't want her to find out from like gossip or something so I want her to know so she doesn't get her heart broken, but what should I say?
heyy well an idea is to have ross tell youur friend, or you can say "Hey (friend) listen, dont be mad but ross told me he liked me. i dont want to sound mean but i dont want you to hear it from the wrong person and be mad"
hope that helps! xoxo
Okay. This is going to be a longer entry but i'd really love the advice, i need some help on this one. So there's a guy at my school. this is going to sound incredibly typical, but i really do like him a lot. I have for a long time, i think its been about 5-6 years. We were together on and off for the majority of last year, but we had some conflicts and he said he didnt want a romantic relationship over the summer, but maybe once school started up again. This school year is almost over, and he's basically told me and some of my friends he liked me. We flirt with each other a lot, but every once in a while we just kind of stop talking, like for a week or so. I dont really know why, except that he's kind of shy when it comes to me. But with other people he's totally out there, and doesnt hold back at all. Recently, another girl has started to like him too. She's apparently really obsessed, and i do mean obsessed. She writes poems about him and basically freaks out everytime she hears his name. she follows him around and he's all she ever talks about. He knows about all of it, and has no interest in her. i feel bad for her, but at the same time i'm kind of annoyed. she found out he liked me and watches me all the time. her friends question me, him, his friends, my friends, and other people about our feelings for eachother all the time. One of this girls friends asked him if he liked me and he said if he liked me he'd ask me out. I was disappointed at first but just earlier that week we'd been flirting like crazy and his friends were telling everybody about how he talks about me so much and how much he likes me. I'd love to talk to him about it but the truth is i'm totally shy. I really need some advice, either on what i could do to get over my fears or what some of that stuff means. For those of you who read this far, thank you so much. Like i said i really need some help. ♥
heyy
well what he said about asking you out could have been just to get that girl to shut up, or he could be waiting until the perfect time , or maybe hes just as nervous as you are. thats what im guessing because guys confuse every girl- lol. but maybe to confront him you can write a note to him or get one of your friends to ask him.
hope i can help and good luck! xoxo
okay so i am always really tired. Even if i go to bed early at nnight say 9 10 ish and wake up at 6 15 im exhausted and by the time i get home 2 i need a nap so latelly ive been comming home, going on the computer real quick than taking like a 4 hour nap. and its bad to sleep that much cause than i cant sleep at night but i can never find the energy to stay up all day . the only time i dont sleep , is when im doing something with my friends but sometimes i dont and i get tired. i would go for runs or something energitic but like i said i have no energy what so ever...can someone help me ? what is wrong with me? ill rate 5 for any help!
hey i sometimes do the same thing. my body doesnt produce enough iron and i need thirteen hours of sleep to fell some-what alright. you can ask a doctor if its about the amount of iron your body produces. if so you'll probably just need to take vitamins because thats what i have to do. i 've always been a tired person though lol because im a teenager and still take naps after school but anyways check it out with a doctor and deff. ask about the iron.
hope i can help..xoxo
okay..is it normal to fall asleep @ 6PM. wake up for 5 minutes around 10PM. then go back to sleep. wake up @ 1 then fall back to sleep. then again at 5AM. then 7:30. Then getting up @ 9AM. still really tired. is that normal at all??
i think this could be one of three things:
1) it could be a sleeping disorder
2) you couuld have a lot on your mind when you're falling asleep
or 3) your body doesnt produce enough iron. if this is the case then regular vitamins should help because i dont produce enough iron and do the same thing sometimes- ill sleep from 7pm to 12 pm in the afternoon. i just take vitamins and try to clear my head before sleeping
you might want to try asking you doctor next time you go. hope i can help xoxo
my hair is really curly that it almost gets frizzy. i want my hair to be curly because it looks like crap straight, but i want it to be less all over the place. is there anyway i can get neat curls instead of wild ones??
thanks!!
heyy well i use conair hair curler- it has the thing around it so it guides your hair into neat curls. it works real well. i hope that helps you xox
how do you apply eyeliner (black) on the lower eyelid. like not overdoing it, but you know sexy enough. haha jk. but you know what i mean -- also what kind of eyeliner is best? thanks in advance
heyy
well i cant really help you with applying eyeliner because personally, im not good at it myself so i just put it on top of my eyelids but anyway my absolute favorite eyeliner is by N.Y.C i could live on it lol but its the kind with two sides... ones black and you can pick the other color but im not sure if they sell it everywhere ... xoxo hope i can helpp
eww i tried to help you and you gave me nasty feedbAck your a really nasty person and i dont think that was right of you im here to try and help people- i gave you a suggestion and you disrespected me and sweetie, dont you do that to another poor columnist because no one deserves that for helping you
I really would like to make more guy friends. Guys talk to me and stuff, but how do I develop a friendship with them? I'll give all 5's. Thanks
well what works for me is talking to the guys more (kinda obvious lol) making friendly gestures, going to a sports game they're on (saying congrats after the game) and makings insiderss and jokes. its kinda plain stuff but youll make some more friends (or you should) xoxo hope it works:)
ok, im almost in love with this guy. not obsessed, but getting close.
he's gorgeous && incredibly sweet.
but there are problems;;
1)i cannot talk to him
2)he likes someone else
3)he's a druggie
now, i know what you're going to say about him doing drugs.. but hey! sometimes, a bad boy is good for a girl..you know??lmao
so what can i do??
should i just sit around && hope he gets over this other girl??
or should i talk to him??..conversation starters???
will rate high ;D
♥ thank yooou
heyy
i think that you should work up the nerve one day and talk to this cutie (lol) but seriously yea talk to him its win win because even if he ends up not liking you - you still made a new friend! Thats deff. better than an admirer from afar. Trust me xoxo good luck
aah! so here is the deal!! i once read in a magazine about a girl who got sexually harassed by her teacher. and im like oh i feel so bad for that girl, but i never thought about it happening to me. well i hate to admit it.. but it did. this is what happened: i needed extra help in math so i told my teacher about it (lets call him mr. a) and hes like oh why dont you stay after class today i have no meetings and i was king of hesistating cause thursdays are busy for me. but he was like insisting and it was kind of awkward and i felt uncomfortable rejecting it so i did stay after school. when he told me to sit down next to him at a table, i did. and by the way the chairs were a little to close. the whole time he was helping me he always tryed to get good excuses to get close to me. not actually saying stuff, but like syaing "ok lets go over the steps .. *nudge close, nudge closer* then after we started talking and he asked me what my favorite classes werwe and i told him, and hes like "what do you think about the sex unit in health" and in my head im like "WHAT??"so i said awkwardly.. "um yes its good." so out of the blue.. hes like "ever wanted to have sex" and i said "i dontknow.." hes like "want to try it with me" i got creeped out at that i felt like crying.WHAT SHOULD I DO?? PLEASE HELP. i'm so confused, im afraid of going to school or even walking in the halls cause i might bump into hiM!!!!
sweetie
you should deff. tell a teacher or counciler or parent or adult about thiss its serious becausee even though if you tell someone (which i strongly encourage you to) it may be akward but what he did isnt right your a minor and you want to get away from mr a because sure its embarresing to tell an adult but girls have been in the same situation and regreted not telling someone. so please tell a counciler or parent!
ok.. so heres my question.. i am 14/f and i like this guy, and i know he likes me.. we might go out in the near future.. but hes 16.. and we dont see each other alot, except on weekends when he picks me us and we go to the mall or movies or something.. are we too far apart in age? or is it common for people of our ages to go out?
No0o
i don't think 14 and 16 is that far apart in age, and hey- if you guys get together and are happy, who cares about 2 years anyway? Demi and Ashton arent close in age! Of cousre they arent teenagers and if this guy was like 18 or 19 the age limited would be pushed but my answer is no its not too far apart - and it is common, especially where i live for people 2 years apart to go out-so anyway goodluck! and i hope i could help
Ive been going out with my boyfriend Jon for about 7 months i met him last year when i started at a new highschool weve always had a relationship that we get into little arguments about nothing but they never last very long.now were going out and we still get into little arguments alot id say like every day 2 or 3 times.Its kind of like the arguments that the couple had in the notebook theyd be yelling at each other but theyd still kiss and say i love you,lately weve been talking about the way we act and why we let each other get to each other so bad.I know we both care about each other alot everyone tells me how much he cares about me that theyve never seen him so happy with any other girl..but these fights why do you think they happen?is it a bad thing?if it is how can we just stop arguing?
hey sweetie
well all i can give you is really my opinion
Maybe you get into these fights because of (maybe) jealousy?Maybe you two aren't cut out for eachother. You can do better and be better off with someone else who you dont fight with so often? I think it could be a bad thing only because- wouldnt you be happier with someone who you get along with 10x better? I don't think there would be a way to stop the arguing because you will still stick with your opinion which will build up on you and eventually, in the end, come out. Everyday you fight? Thats a little much. Please don't be offended or mad about what i said and the advice i gave- i try to be straight foward. and i hope everything pieces together. Good luck with jon.
hope i can help
xoxoxo3
I just pretty much broke my guy friend's heart. He has liked me for a really long time, and a couple days ago he just told me. I feel so bad because I feel like I lead him on...because he always comes to my locker every day (which kind of annoys me) and i even gave him a friendly hug one day just as a joke. But now I've realized as I've gotten to know him that he is just not what I'm looking for in a boyfriend. I'm not even sure I WANT a boyfriend. So now he is really different after i told him we should just be friends. he's sad, and talking about how hes never going to like another girl again. He'll probably continue to follow me around at school and I am trying to explain it to him the best i can but I've never really broke someones heart before. Any advice?
:(
Aw you should feel that bad. its not your fault you lead him on, you were just being friendly (i do that all the time) but anyway you should sit down with your guy friend and explain that you feel real bad about hurting his feelings and say that he will find the perfect girl one day and she will love him- but you two werent made for eachother
hope everything works out!
and i hope i helped
My Ex boyfriend and I are pretty good friends, and I like being friends with him except it really walks on my last nerve when he flirts with my friend Abby. I don't like him that way; thats not even the point. It's that everytime I look at them their always flirting and poking each other and when he's around me it makes me feel like he uses me to get to her. Because he won't talk to me until he is away from her. That really pisses me off. You can't talk to him, or her because they won't listin. She's nutty and he's a crack. So how can I deal with this?
well i'm not in your situation but if i was i'd find someone else (meaning a friend) to hang around while they're together because if they ignore you is there really a point in being with them. and when the two are apart you can hang out with them individually if you want to. If not, then you get a new friend out of it!
win-win situation right?
good luck
i hope i could helpp!