Gender: Female
Occupation: Sophmore in College
Age: 19
Member Since: August 30, 2009
Answers: 15
Last Update: September 5, 2009
Visitors: 998
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ok my prolbem is my fiance is confused as to wether she wants to be with me or her ex boyfriend he hurt her so much because she loved him more that she ever has anyone and he knew how she felt and he left her now he wants her back and she is wondering what it would be like if she got back with him but she loves me and is confused as to what to do who to be with what do i do?what do we do?im so hurt by this i just dont know what to do.... ok and btw my name is Jonathan and im 17 and im a male of corse cuz where not the greatest when it comes to things like this kind of sitition.. (link)
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19/f
First off I think you are too young to get married. Even if you weren't young there is a bigger problem here and that's the confusion she has. At least she was honest with you and didn't hide her feelings from you, so be happy for that. And if she wonders what it will be like with him then let her find out. You say her ex hurt her a lot and you sound like you really love her so I think she needs to get hurt again to see what she is will be missing on. You say she loves you but is confused on what to do. I don't think she just found out about her feelings for him I think she has loved and missed him this whole time you have been dating her and now that her ex wants her back she wants to go with him. I say you deserve better and don't need to hold on to someone who can't value you and is missing someone who hurt her. I think its best for you to leave her, let her go to him, and find someone who will love you and only you. If she loved you she wouldn't be doubting whether or not she wants to be with you or him and if she really loved you she wouldn't have to think twice about being with you.
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so theres this guy that ive been friends with for 3 yrs & we talk a lot, and flirt a lot. we basicully went out last year for about 5 months then we stopped talking becuase i couldnt take it anymore. hes soo good looking and he clearly knows it and gets whatever he wants. then we started talking like about 2 months ago and im like back inlove with him again and he aways says he likes me so much and he wnats to be with me and can see us being together and what not. like he is so perfect BUT the one huge flaw he has is being a player i guess you could say. okay if he likes me so much, why does he talk about hooking up with other girls? like he tells me he fucked some bitch last night, um okay like i care? & he told me theres this girl who is so sexy but he cant get with her becuase of his bestfriend long stupid story but he was all i wish she wasnt so sexy. she jus showed me a picture of wat shes going to wear when we hangout and i think i fell inlove. like wen he said that i jus left & balled my eyes out. i do act like i dont care and i say stuff like good jobbb, and nice one. but it really hurts me so badly. like WHY does he do that, like i honestly dont think he does it to make me jealous becuase he can talk about it so easily. so i cant even tell if he likes me or not. what do i doooooooo? what do i sayyyyyyy? =( help (link)
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Damn girl....I say you forget this guy and don't pay him any attention. He wants to show off to you and that if y'all aren’t together, then it's cool because he can get all the pussy in the world. Don't even waste your time with him because he will probably hurt you. He isn't the serious type and unless you want to be played with, don't date him. Start talking to other guys and try to find someone who really likes you (by the way he likes and cares about you as much as he likes and cares about every other girl) and will respect you. Oh and as to what do you say, don’t say nothing. Be his friend if you don't want to lose the friendship but don't flirt or mess around with him. And if he does tell you that he likes you or wants to flirt just tell him you want to be just friends. That he isn't the type of guy you want to be with. He is a scum bag and you should tell him you don't want anything with him before he tells you that. And when you get the boyfriend you deserve and he asks you why?? That he thought you and him had something...tell him well so did I but then I realized all you care about is seeing how many girls you can get and I don't want to be part of that game so I moved on. I hope this helps, hit me up if u need more insight.
P.S. I had a similar situation with a guy and once I saw he was all about games I stop talking to him all together even though he was a cool person to chill with. But I just couldn’t trust him even as a friend because he wanted to play with me as a girlfriend. This happened 4 yrs ago and he has been trying to contact me but I’ve just left if alone because he isn’t worth having as a friend. All I’m trying to say with this is that not dating one guy isn’t going to make a difference I’ve been with the love of my life for 3 years now and I couldn’t ask for nothing more….so don’t get stuck on a guy especially this scum bag you posted about.
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PLEASE ANSWER ASAP.....!!!!!!!!!
okay so my best friend just told me that one of our guy friends has a crush on her and thinks she is hot ... but he moved away to somewhere like 17 hours away. BUT THE PROBLEM IS.... that he said "i think you are hot" (to my friend) and then he said "but your other friend ___(me)___ is not, i never thought she was hot" SO NOW... i am totally depressed cause i think that i am ugly and i feel ugly. i know that one persons opinion means nothing really especially since i dont even like this guy. UGH .... so now i have really low self esteem and i am kinda mad for my friend to tell me this .....it is kinda like bragging. so now i am kinda mad at her for saying like that he thought she was hot and i am ugly. so what do i do cause i dont wanna be mad at her and i am losing confidence in myself :( ANSWER ASAP!!!!!
thnxs :) :( (link)
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Different people have different tastes. That guy thought your friend is hotter than you so what?? I'm sure another guy may think you are hotter than your friend. Bottom line is that you shouldn't compare yourself to other people especially your friends because it leads to jealousy and troubles the friendship. YOu are who you are and some guys will like it other won't. Just how I'm sure there are some guys you find attractive and others you don't. DOn't be so hard on yourself and always remember that there will always be a girl that looks better than you as well as a girl that you look better than you.
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im cheating on my bf. how do i tell him? im fifteen. (link)
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If you are cheating on him you most likely aren't ready to be in a relationship. Tell him you are sorry for cheating on him but that you are young and just want to get to know guys. Don't be selfish by keeping him in a relationship that is going to hurt him in the long run. If you care for him at least one bit, do the right thing and tell him so he can get on with his life and meet a girl that does want to have a serious relationship with him.
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ALRIGHTYY! So I'm dating this guy, and he's pretty cool. It's only been like two weeks that we've started dating. I just have this really iffy questionable feeling about this whole thing. He has a real good personality....buuut i'm really not that physically attracted to him. I know people say "looks aren't everything" but in my opinion that is complete bull shit, because hell they matter to everyone at my age! (16.) We've hung out like four times, we've done like everything "sexual" to do except sex and oral. That doesn't matter. But I don't know,when he left my house last night and my brother told me he looked like a rat, I really quickly thought i'd break up with him. I know, sounds so terrible! He's a real cool guy, a good personality. It's just I have other guys talking to me, and I feel at this age I shouldn't be tied down to someone that I have an iffy feeling about in the first place! But then again, I'm worried If I break up withh him the next day I'll totally be regretting it. I don't know, so confused! Can anyone help me out here? (link)
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I agree that looks aren't everything but you have to be physically attracted to the person you are with. It seems that you are too young and not ready for a serious and/or long term relationship which is completely normal. You are only 16 and yes you shouldn't tie yourself down to someone you aren't all that attracted to. If what you want is to get to know people and date different guys then that is fine as long as you let the guys you date know what you want out of the relationship. Tell them look im not looking for a serious/long term relationship I just want to have fun Im young. Guys at this age don't like to be tied down in the first place so don't worry about not being able to find guys to date. Just be honest with your boyfriend so you both don't waste your time on eachother.
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ok well this guy friend of myn is really good friends with my brother and he is in my class but anyways this guy frind of myn stayed at my house with my bro and well we messed around a little and well like a month after wards i let him now how i felt about him and he said he just wanted to be friends but he says that he would date me in a heart beet but my brother he dont want to loose are really close friendship. But its been like a week since he told me he wanted to just be friends and three days ago well i stayed at my friends house and we went and hung out with him and someother guys and well we winded up messing around again and i was wondering if he is just using me and what should i do because i am tired of him acting like thier is something their and then breaking my heart to nothin except friends........i am a Sophemore in high school (link)
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I recommend that you just stay friends with him and stand up for yourself. If he really wanted to be with you he would respect you and not want to mess around with you and then tell you he rather be friends. My boyfriend has a little sister and his best friend is her boyfriend. He respected her and went to her brother (my boyfriend) to tell him that he wanted to date his sister. My boyfriend doesn't mind it. Bottom line don't give him the satisfaction of messing with you and then being able to throw you like a rag and pick you up when he feels like it. You deserve so much more from a guy. It just seems like he is trying to have fun and not be stuck in a relationship or at least doesn't like you enough to tell your he will like to date you. I say you tell him you don't want to do anything with him anymore and that you agree that you should just stay friends.
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Okay well I dont want this to come off as conceited or stuck up in any way because I am not like that.
But I seem to have noticed something about all my relationships that really is bothering me.
I would really like to know how a girl can make her inner beauty shine more than her outer beauty to a guy. In every relationship I have been in, most of the guys seemed to care more about how I looked. And because they liked it, they would always comment on it, and be very focused on it. But I am also a very happy, loving, but nerdy girl. Nerdy as in I enjoy learning, I like debating over issues in the world, I am very culturally aware and I would love it if, for once, a guy would notice these things about me. Which they dont. Whenever I try to have a serious conversation about something in the world, and I am being very serious about it, guys just smile and say that I'm cute, and then they change the subject. It is really aggravating when I am not taken seriously i guess because I am considered attractive...And my question is how can I get guys to see that I am more than just a pretty face, that I have ideas and maybe that i wanna discuss them???? (link)
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Well, it seems to me that these guys you date are probably not as smart as you are and can't carry an intellectual conversation so they run from one when they smell one. Perhaps when "talking"(I mean before becoming boyfriend/girlfriend) to a guy, you should start the cultural conversations you like to have to see if he is interested in them too. If not, then you know that he probably won't want to have such conversations with you and should rethink dating him. An easy way to let a guy know who you are inside is by telling him. You have to put your ideas out there from the beginning so he knows what kind of girl you are and perhaps you are waiting until you become bf/gf to show off you inner beauty. Also, try meeting guys in school clubs that deal with current issues and maybe you'll have that in common. Bottom line is that you need to get to know a guy well and make sure he knows what kind of girl you are before accepting to be his girlfriend.
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Hello :).
Today my friend called me and told me that this guy asked for her phone number and to hang out.(We don't really attract a lot of guys so when we do, it's big news).
Then she asked my opinion on him. And from how he talks, he doesn't seem like the greatest guy.
She met him because one of her friends in real life told her to add this guy on facebook because he dated one of her old friends or something. The last few weeks or so he has been commenting on a lot of her status and stuff. Just the other day she was at the mall and she saw him but didn't say anything. She then goes on facebook and says like, Hey I saw you at the mall, described herself blah blah blah. And, the then tells her, 'oh, yeah I saw you and was totally checking you out', yeah, real smooth. Anyways he then asks for her number and says that they should hang out. She told me that she has no interest in meeting him, but, she gave him her number? When I asked why she said because it was flattering?
I don't get it. I'm not trying to be to noisy so.
I didn't know what to tell when she asked what I thought.
What do YOU think?
Is she intersted in him?
Does he seem like a player?
Should she go for it?
Btw, she's 15, and she's thinking he's around the same age. (link)
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I think your friend likes the attention and although she told you she isn't interested in him, I am sure she doesn't mind seeing where this goes. He does sound like the flirtatous type but I don't know enough to go ahead and say he is a player. As far as you telling your friend your opinion, you should tell her what you think there is nothing wrong with you expressing your opinion on something especially since she asked. You may want to explain that you don't want her to get hurt and recommend that she not take him too serious and just see what he is about since he already has her number.
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to be, TRULY in love with your current boyfriend when mixed and confused and unwanted feelings come to you from your long-ago ex?
i think it is. just because this happens, i cant control feelings. i love my boyfriend so much, but i am so confused about my ex and how i feel. but it's possible to still love my boyfriend while im figuring things out, right? (link)
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This is more than a yes or no question. You have to tell your current boyfriend what you are feeling. But before you do that you need to figure it out for yourself. You need to think about what is it that is making you miss your last boyfriend and if maybe your current boyfriend lacks this so you now find yourself missing your ex. after you find out you HAVE to tell your boyfriend because it's not fair for him to live a lie. This is a complicated issue and perhaps you rushed into this new relationship with the hopes of forgetting your ex. The bottom line is that if you love your boyfriend you wouldn't be confused about your ex.
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Hey you all..I have this huge problem that needs fixing a.s.a.p! Ok..you see..when I wuz a junior in high school,I had this huge crush on this boy named aj.Can you say fine! But the thing wuz that he was only in the tenth grade.We eventually exchanged numbers and would talk like EVERYDAY! we were like buddys that had huge crushes on each other.But with him being in a lower grade..i just couldnt find the COURAGE to date him.I just thought of the comments my friends would make.So i later found out that someone else had a crush on me.He wuz nice and cool so i decided to date him.Aj wuz crushed.Things didnt work out between me and the dude I started dating.He cheated on me with his ex girlfriend which crushed me but anthony wuz there to help me heal.So like a month passed and aj wuz still hinting that he liked me and that he wanted to date me but around that TIME another dude came in the picture..we will call him elliot.Me and elliot started dating.Aj wuz crushed.The whole time I wuz with elliot i just kept thinking about aj.He wuz my friend and i CARED about him so much but i had a boyfriend and didnt want to ruin things.Sadly,aj got kicked out of school and that wuz the last time I ever saw him.During the summer,me and elliot broke up becuz he wanted to play pimp daddy and mess around with all types of girls.I wuz so heartbroken.So just recently I realized that I made a huge mistake by dissing aj TWICE. I know that I have to live with my mistakes and that I should always be willing to give people chances no matter who they are.I juss cant get aj off my mind.I miss him so much..I guess he changed numbers or something cuz I never heard from him again.I would walk to the moon and back to have him in my life.If i ever had the chance to be with him again I would take it in a heartbeat.I know that deep down in my heart that i love him.So..could it be that the love of my life came and gone that fast? I hope not.So what do you guys think?..should I just get him out my head and accept the fact that he's gone...or should I keep hope alive and do a people search? I just got to find him..or least know were he is..my heart just cant rest until i know. Please help..i need some advice big time.. (link)
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NEVER live your life on what other people may say or think. It seems you date people for all th wrong reasons and not for you. It could be seen by the way your two ex's did you wrong. I say you locate him on facebook, myspace, and the white pages. You can't give up. And if after looking and you really can't find him then learn from your mistake to never live your life for others. It's your life and if something equals happiness for you then go ahead and persue your wants and needs. Don't give up an I hope you find him. Let me know if you do find him and if this was helpful.
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so i have this white stuff coming out of my vagina, is it a good thing or a bad? like it smells really bad. if im in class and i open my legs to sit or something then you smell it. i went on birth control and when you first get it, the girl goes inside your vagina and sees if you have anything wrong, but she said that i dont have anyhting wrong with me but idk how to get rid of the white stuff && the smell..
HELP!
(: (link)
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It does sound like a yest infection especially since it has a bad odor. I had a similar problem and it went away with an over the counter yeast infection treatment but I recommend you see you doctor since you have one I couldn't because I didn't want my parents to know I had sex. So go to the doctor and tell her what your problem is and she will five you the accurate answer.
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so i really want to have sex. i have never done it so it would be my first time, but i dotn know what to do. like what are the steps of what you do or idk.
help me please?!
:) (link)
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I think you should think about what sex means to you. Why do you want to have sex? Are you being pressured or this is something you really want to do. Sex is nothing but having a penis thrusting in and out of your vagina. Now you being a virgin will mean that your first time will hurt a lot and won't be enjoyable. It takeS time for the vagina to get used to sex and having an orgasim doesn't always happen. It seems as though you are tryin to have sex just for the heck of it and if you don't do it with the right person he might just go to ruff and hurt you. The longer you wait the better. From personal experience I waited until I feel in love to have sex and I glad I did because I love him and I don't regret doing it with him I've been with him for 3 years now. Please explain to me if you are in a relationship and tell me more of why you want to have sex so I can give you better advice.
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Okay, so I am 17 years old and a senior in high school, and my boyfriend graduated last year and went to college this fall. A lot of my friends tell me that I should break up with him so we could date people that we could see all the time, but i really like him and I dont want to end a relationship of 10 months just because i miss him. Meanwhile, theres another guy who likes me that goes to my school, and i kind of like him but i really love my boyfriend. What should I do??? (link)
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Here is a question you have to think about do you love your boyfriend or do you like him?? I was in the same situation you are in right now with some differences. I was a senior at 17, boyfriend graduated a year before but we had been dating for two years at the time. I never once thought of breaking up with him because he was in college but then again he stayed in state I don't know if your boyfriend is in state too. I graduated and now go to the same college as he does and have been together for 3 years. First of all forget what your friends say, if they want to date around in college that is their choice but you need to decide what you want to do. Whether you want to be single to date around, stay with your boyfriend, or go out with this other boy you like. You need to make this decision based on what you want out of your life. Things to consider when making youR decision: will you be going to the same college as your boyfriend (I don't recommend long distance relationships), do you trust him, is he someone you see yourself with long term, and what is it that you like about him and your feelings towards him and if these out weight the other boy you like and dating period. Don't hurt him by stayIng with him because you have been together for 10 months and you think that is a long time (trust me it isn't). Talk to him about how he feels about the relationship but please don't lie to him there is nothing wrong with moving on and dating other people as long as you make it clear to your partners that you aren't looking for a serious and/or long term relationship. I hope this helps and let me know what happens.
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okay... so i use to have a major crush on this guy and then all of a sudden, i see this whole other side of him that im not liking so much. yesterday i told him that i also like girls. then last night i asked him what he felt towards this girl that im into and he said he thinks that she is cute. then he asked me how i felt about him and i told him how i use to like him. then he started talking about the other girl and he was a little jealous because she likes me more than him. then i asked him how he felt towards me and he didnt reply. then i texted him again that there are no double standards since i told him all of this. still, no reply which was expected now. then i told him how i wasnt sure that i could trust him with the other girl's secret that i told him earlier that day. i really do regret telling him her secret but i also wanted to know how he felt so i figured if i told him then he would come out with everything. now i just feel that i put my trust into someone too soon. i reallly dont care how he feel towards me, i mean i know hes a manwhore. and i know what his type is and im not that because i don wear slutty clothes. i really need to know what to do now, now that i blew everything because i had a little crush on this guy. where does that leave he and i? i cant just blow him off because he knows too mcuh... he know her secret that I told him. and if he went up to the other girl and say too much then im screwed. this girl wont ever speak to me again. (link)
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I think you know right from wrong. You know repeating what someone confessed to you is wrong and even worse you used her secret to get an answer. Although you and I know this is wrong, you can't beat yourself over it because what's said is said. Now all you have to do is look foward and learn from this not to do it again and think many times before making a decision. This guy sounds like someone you shouldn't date if you are looking for a serious and stable relationship. If you really like this girl you should concentrate on her and trying to start a relationship with her. I understand you feel that he will spill the beans but you don't have to ignore him just tell him the truth. Which is you like this girl, you used to like him an now you don't and want to be friends. But don't flirt with him so he knows you mean what you say. After telling him you wanna be friends dont talk to him to much, distance yourself a little but don't ignore him. Hopefully with time your communication will fade and you won't have to worry about him spilling the beans. If he does end up telling her, own it don't lie and say you didn't, be honest say how stupid you were for telling him and the reason and how you really like her and don't ever want to lie to her again. I hope this helps let me know how things work out.
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16/f (please read, I know it's long)
I'm not trying to sound conceited when I say this, but I am a really good friend. I have helped people stop cutting and feel better about themselves. (only my close friends who tell me things) I tell them to get help and try to help them as much as I can to the best of my ability. I'm kind of like the go-to person, the one they vent to, then one they can trust.
So today, my best friend and I were talking on aim. and we were talking about how we felt we were drifting apart. we got mad at eachother at first because she accused me of judging her (when I don't, I really don't judge people, everyoneis who they are) and she wasn't acting herself. Then we got to the point in the conversation where she told me that she wasn't going to beg for me to be my friend, and I told her that I'd always be her friend, no matter what. Because she's been having a hard time lately, and has been going to the shore drinking alot and hooking up with random guys at random parites, and it's just not her.
Then she always blames everything on her ex boyfriend, how he screwed her up so much. and he did, he really messed her up, but i said she had to stop blaming him for everything, and that it's not her fault at all but that part of why she changed was because of the shore and summer. well, I guess that set her off, because she told me something that I cried when I read...
Her ex boyfriend, you would never suspect he would do this. He forced her to do stuff to him. (she never told anyone, this happened a few months ago) he told her that she didnt trust him and that she didnt find him attractive if she didnt give him a handjob. I knew that part, but I also knew that he ate her out when she told him she didnt want to. and he fingered her when she didnt want to be fingered and said so. He would get very violent with her and shove as many fingers as he could and finger her, and she tried to stop him, and tell him no but she couldn't breathe and he was bigger than her. Then she told me that one time, she was in his car and they were fighting as usual, he was telling her like, "oh i went to third for you and you won't do the same to me?" and she said, "i didn't want you to do that to me!" and he was like, "well it's been 2 or 3 months and if you loved me you would do this for me." so my friend ended up being guilted into saying she'd make it up to him by giving him a handjob. after she said that, she didnt know how it happened, but he pushed her head down to his pants and held her head there while he unzipped and he made her give him a blow job. she told me she was crying while she did it and he wouldnt stop. (i feel horrible not only because he did this to her, but because we talked about blow jobs and how id never give one ever and how she wouldnt either.. i felt bad she didnt tell me this!) so then like whenever they hung out, apparently he would just jump ontop of her and hold her down, and hump her, and shed say get off, but he wouldnt listen. and then when he was "finished" she could go home.
she told me that he told her he was gonna kill himself. she was scared. she was trapped inside a relatiosnhip with this guy. isnt that RAPE?!?! I told he to tell someone, she won't. I want her to get help, I told her she should get therapy, that i'd help her. but she said telling me helped her feel better.. but she was pretending this entire time that she's fine. but she told me she's depressed. I rpomise her I wouldn't tell anybody about this, but THIS IS RAPE. isn't it?! It is. my best friend was raped. and now all she wants is attention from guys. shes really screwed up because of this. Shes drinking because she doesn't think about her ex and what he did. I don't know what to do. please help me. I'm the ONLY ONE who knows. the only one. so what do i do?! I know I should tell someone, but who would I tell? and there's no proof he did that, so how would i be able to help? I promised her I wouldnt tell anyone, I know I should, but at the same time, she says she's not wasting her time on him. But if I was her, I would want to tell someone. I couldn't just hide that. I'm so lost. She acts like it's no big deal now.. just because it has been a few months. But it IS a big deal to ME. she's my best friend and he raped her. Well, I consider it rape. Ugh. help?
thank you all so much. (link)
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Wow I am sorry to hear what happened to tour friend. I understand you are concerned for her and want to help but she isn't going to get help unless she thinks there is something wrong with what her ex did to her. From what I read it seems as though the rape-which by the way is rape because she didn't want it-has made her lose her moral standards in sex. This is very common with rape victims and I agree that she get professional help. You should go to a school counselor and tell him/her what happened and how you can help if u don't feel comfortable telling your mom or dad. A psychologist is recommended for these types of issues , so one that specializes in teens would be great for your friend. Back to her understanding that what her ex did to her is wrong. To make her realize that show her the definition of rape and find articles on the effects of rape. I'm sure she will identify with these effects and hopefully realize she needs help. Write back to me if you have more questions. Please let me if it helped and how things unfold.
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