Hello there, my name is Kayla, my close friends call me Kaylo, but you may call me Kayla Jay. I'm here on Advicenators because I like helping people. I'm always willing give advice on any topic, but my favorite topics are on relationships. So send over any question at all and I'll be happy to help!
-Kayla Jay
Gender: Female
Member Since: January 3, 2006
Answers: 26
Last Update: February 17, 2007
Visitors: 3320
Main Categories:
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im 15 (almost 16)/f and my boyfriend is 18/m.
we've been dating almost 3 years now and are sexually active, but we do not use condoms. he usually either finishes in my mouth or on me, never in me. the thing is, i want to get pregnant, but he doesnt. i can understand why he doesnt though. what should i do? i really love him and i really want a baby. (link)
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I've gotta say right off the bat-- really really bad idea. I can understand that you love your boyfriend and all but having a baby with him will change (and basically ruin) everything. You may have to quit school, you'll never have any time to yourself, you'll never have any money (diapers and baby clothes are ridiculously expensive) and the poor baby will end up miserable and in a broken home. There are other way to show how much you love your boyfriend, but fifteen is way too young to get pregnant. I assure you, nothing good can come of having a baby at such a young age. If you and your boyfriend are still together when you're done with school and you both have stable jobs, then give it a shot. Until then, please don't try to get pregnant.
And please, you really should use condoms to avoid this. If not that than you really oughta be on the pill. It's just much much safer this way.
Hope I was helpful,
-Kayla Jay
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i havnt gotten my period in like 6 months im soo sure im not pregnant cuz i took the test like 3 times and i dont feel like i am and stuff whats wrong with me?? (link)
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I would definately say that you should see your doctor, I don't think you're pregnant seeing as you took the test three times. Have you changed your diet lately? or have you been excersicing more? I started excersicing and dieting over the summer and my period dissapeared for almost the whole summer (I got scared too, but it's normal for that to happen when your body goes through a change like that.) So if you haven't changed your diet or have lost any weight lately, you'd better talk to your doctor.
Hope I was helpful,
-Kayla Jay
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alright, so every saturday a group of kids goes over this one girls house. It seems like they have a blast everytime they go, and it seems to be all they talk about.
I know the girl who hosts this little gettogether, and we're friends and stuff. But not really "friends" just "hi ____" "___ i love you!" |[around here we use iloveyou with our friends alot if you havent noticed]| It's like that with most of the people that are there too.
I really want to get invited, and be friends with them. But I just don't know how? =/ (link)
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I know how that goes, I know lots of girls who I'm kinda friends with but I don't really know them too well and blah blah blah---but anyway, if you have any classes with this girl it would probly help a lot. If you wanna get to be freinds with these people try doing some of the things they do. Is there a certain school club or something that they're in? Give it a try. Continue to be friendly. When you feel comfortable enough, just casually be like "Well, what are you doing this weekend?" and it should come into the conversation. When she tells you, just be like, "Oh sounds like fun. I don't really have a clue what I'm doing this weekend," and hopefully this should leave the doorway wide open for you.
Be forwarned though, make sure these are people you can like and can easily get along with, and that you're not doing this to up your social status, thats a really horrible reason for befriending someone.
Hope I was helpful,
-Kayla Jay
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my bf hair sprays his hair but its been a week since hes done it and it still feels like theres hairspray in it. he has washed his hair every day since the last time he has sprayed it and it feels dirty and hard even tho theres nothing in it haha. we have been looking for something to get rid of build up and just degunk his hair. does anyone know of anything that can help him? (link)
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I heard somewhere that dishsoap will do it. I would use dawn, then use conditioner afterwards.
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I was just at the slopes last night, and i saw this really cute guy. me and him made eye contact the whole night, then at the end i saw his friend and told him that his friend was cute. He then told him, then the guy came up to me and i got his number. I dont know if i should call him or when to call him. I'm also afraid that if i do call he will think im weird, or we wont have anything to talk about. Any ideas what to do? (link)
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Since he gave you his number, he obviously wants you to call him. How long ago was this again? Wait two or three days, then when you call him, ask him when he's free to do something, since it sounds to me like he wants to get to know you more. I doubt he'll think you're weird for calling him, since he gave you his number and all, he's probly waiting right now! But really, when you call, just be yourself, don't be nervous, and don't worry.
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What could you wear under/over a black t-shirt that would look really cute?
(link)
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Well lets see now; seeing as it's a bit cold outside right now, I'd say a fun zip-up would do nicely (I like a lot of the zip ups in Hot Topic , but beware! They shrink!) just make sure theres a bit of black in the zip up so it matches well. I have a V-neck black tee shirt that I wear in the summer with jeans and flip flops, and I wear long brown beads with it rather than another shirt. During the summer, another shirt would just be too hot, so the beads make it look less plain.
Hope I was helpful,
-Kayla Jay
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someone said somethin about putting toothpaste on their pimple and it clears the pimple up is that true (link)
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Toothpaste dries it up so it goes away fatser, I don't think it makes the pimple go away altogether though.
-Kayla Jay
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I've been kind of bummed lately. I am 14, I have never kissed a girl, or even had a girlfriend.
I have plenty of friends (enough to make me happy), and I have no problem talking to girls as friends, but not other than that.
I have had plenty of girls that "liked" me, but most of the time it didn't work out (for random reasons), or they just didn't seem right for me.
Unlike a lot of guys, I am not just in it for sex (that would be great, but it's not my first priority). I just want someone to be with. (link)
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Aaawwww, you sound like a sweet guy.
Okay, let me tell you; I didn't have a serious boyfriend until I was fifteen, and I was his first serious girlfriend too! (well not too serious since it didn't last that long, but I'm straying formt he subject) Since you seem like such a down to earth, honest kind of guy, I'm thinking you'll find the right girl for you. Unfortunately, it will happenwhen you're not looking for it. I know, I was angry when i first heard this too, but it's true. When I was about your age, I wanted a boyfirend and I was so angry that I couldn't find one. Evreyone kept telling me "you'll find one when you least expect it," and wouldn't you know it, they were right. So here's my advice to you- You're only fourteen, so live it up. Don't concern yourself with dating too early or you'll get tired of it. Hang out with girls, be flirty, and overall, ahve fun. But he idea of dating girld out of your mind and try to be more like a friend so that your mind is off of dating. When you leats expect it, you will find the right girl.
And the sex thing? Yeah, continue not concerning yourself with that too.
Hope I was helpful,
Kayla Jay
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So I'm a freshman and this will be my first homecoming (duh). What do people normally wear to homecoming? I don't want to go there and be over dressed. Do nearly all girls wear dresses? A rough percentage of girls that wear dresses to homecoming would be nice. So would pictures of what most of the dresses would be like (to help me determine how casual homecoming is.) I RATE!!!! (link)
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Here dude, this should help-
http://www1.macys.com/catalog/index.ognc?CategoryID=18110&LinkType=EverGreen&Size=NOSELECTION&FeaturedBrand=NOSELECTION&PPP=96&bhcp=1&PageID=18110*1*96*-1*-1
Any of these would work for Homecoming. It's usually Prom that people go all-out for anyway, Homecoming is just a fun dance that people get a little dressy for and have fun.
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does any one know that little robot thing on the computer that when you type something in the given box it will say what you typed but sounds like a robot?? Well if so, How do you get it? (link)
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There's also the Banzai Buddy, it's this little purple monkey that says all the stuff you type to it. Just type Bazai Buddy into any search engine and you should be able to find him. Just make sure not to sign up for anything weird when you download him.
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Does anyone know of any websites (or anything, really) where you can get LiveJournal layouts? Thanks, mucho. (link)
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These are my favorites. I'm a serial layout changer
http://www.createblog.com/layouts/index.php?type_id=2
http://community.livejournal.com/premade_ljs/
http://community.livejournal.com/freelayouts/
Love love love livejournal.
Hope I helped,
-Kayla Jay
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I dont even know where to start.
Well, ok. My BFF Got a new boyfriend Named Kyle and she was most deffinetly in love I could tell! Then she found out Kyle has a brother thats my age too!His name was Brian so we decided to go on a double date! I was so excited to meet him. We all went to the buffet for the date. When I met brian we never stopped talking! we chated for hours! so long, my BFF and kyle left and said they would see us later. that night we talked on the phone for hours and the next day we went to the movie. before it started Brian asked if I would be his girlfriend! I was so shocked I said yes. I really really really liked Brian! so Bad! at the movie we held hands!!! then this is where the problum started - you see, Kyle and Brian are birthly brothers but Brian's mom got divoreced with kyles dad. and Brian had a new dad, But kyle was still living with his real father, Then in a car accedent Bolth his mother and father died so he had to live with Kyle and his dad. Fora week Brian seemed deppressed. I asked constently why finnaly he told me that story. I was crying. so he didnt even know his brother that well. But 2 days latter he got over it and me and my BFF wanted to go on another Double date. a real one sense we were all going out. But then my BFF had to tell Brian somthing so she toke him somewhere privet and it was just me and Kyle. Kyle was across from me at the table. Then Kyle touched my leg. "What are you doing?" I asked him he said nothing. and I shoved his hand off. Then He said "You know your pretty atractive." and he touched my leg even higher I said leave me alone! Im going to tell Brian! then he said Yeah Lanie Im really sure he wants to hear about this when his mom and dad just died a month ago. and whos word will he take, yours agenst mine? i mean he just met you. Im his brother. I stod up, begginging to cry, Then kyle got up and french kissed me I pulled him away then bumped into brian. luckily he didnt see the kiss. whats wrong Brian asked me I got somthing in my eye. I lied. i mean kyle was right he would take his side. I found out my BFF only told Brian to hold the door open for me. Now whenever Kyle see's me alone he tries to do "Stuff" to me. I couldent tell brian espeshily beacuse jus got over his parents and I couldent tell my BFF b/c well..you know hes her B/f!! Then things get worse, Brian Told me He wasent paying enough attention to me so he french kissed me! then 1 day later we started making out but I dont know! whenever Im making out with brian it makes me think of kyle. I know its not my fault But I feel like I'm cheeting on him. Kyle acts normal around Brian and my BFF But when we are alone.well you know. and I try to get away. somtimes I make it other times I dont. Please I need help advice advice! -
Lanie Day (link)
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Wow dude, I was reading this and I was like "this is like something out of a soap opera or something."
But anyways, let me just say that Kyle is a scumbag for doing that. Telling you that telling Brian would be a bad idea was very low of him to do, seeing as what he is doing to someone he calls his friend is ten times worse. You have got to let someone know immediately what is going on, but first, you must confront Kyle. Tell him that what he's doing to his brother is definately much much worse that what you're doing. Tell him that if this doesn't stop, you'll tell your best friend. She's a victim in this too. Judging by what he says, go to your freind and tell her. She has a right to know, since she's being cheated too. Assure her that you're not lying, tell her all the times this happened, if you bring up the times you ened up alone with Kyle, she may be more likely to believe you. You should probly tell her about the first time this happened, explain that you didn't have soemthing in your eye, you just didn't want to upset either her or Brian. Once she's convinced, you have got to tell Brian, he needs to know too. If you really care about this boy you have to be absolutely honest with him. I don't think I can help you much beyond this point, all you have to do now is be brave and hope that this whole mess will come to an end. Of course people will get hurt, but this whole situation is Kyle's fault to begin with. I hope everything will work out for you and Brian in the end (he sounds like such a sweet guy).
Best of Luck,
Kayla Jay
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For starters,I have completely no freinds, and no one to talk to or hang out with .
I left my old school with a low reputation and i was known as a bitch. Guys always play with me and mock me because they think that i am the easy type of girl.
I am totally alone in this life, and my mom never cares or asks because she;s always at work, and my dad is definitely not the type of person to listen and sympathize.
I also play this sport at the club, and i am trying hard to improve and go to championships, but my coach just cares about the people who are real champions, and he just trains me for half and hour or something. I feel like a complete loser.
I even work here on the site, but i have had it from helping people and advising them, its like the only thing that i do. And then when i stopped for a moment, i found out that my own life is messed up and i need advice myself.
I considered committing suicide before, but thats just bullshit. I thought becoming really religious and maybe god would be on my side.
But it didn't actually have a result and nothing happened. I tried just being myself , but i hate who i am . I tried changing, but its not working at all.
I need help because right now i am nothing but a depressed desperate bitch with a screwed up life . I would really love some help. (link)
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I just have to say right off the bat- dude, sucide is not the answer. You should never ever ever ever think that ending it all is the only way out, beacuse it's not. Trust me.
It sounds to me like your self esteem is extremely low right now. I think the first thing you should do is try to get that up a bit. I know that not having any friends can be hard but it is possible to get through your school year alone. (you seem like a tough girl, I bet you can do it.) I dunno how much time you have left in school, like if this is your Junior year or senior year or what, but if you are a senior, you can have faith in knwoing that you only have a year left until you can start all over again and try to be a new person, if indeed that is what you want.
Whatever sport you are doing at this club, it sounds to me like you really like it. Have you ever let your coach know that you're feeling neglected? You should let him know that you think you should be treated just like the rest of the people he trains, and that being a champion is important to you, an dthat you know you can do it. If he still negelcts you, I would take up something else (have you ever tried yoga? Or maybe something like boxing or karate. You may make new friends along the way too)
As far as everyone thinking you're a bitch, if you don't like these people then their opnion shouldn't bother you. If it does bother you that much though, simply be a nicer person. I know it may sound a bit difficult, but it gets easier.
I think that's about all the adivce I have for you right now. If things get too bad and you wanna talk to someone, my AIM name is Supergurl5254. I hope I helped.
-Kayla Jay
Oh, I also think that maybe you should talk to your mom, make sure it's at a time thats good for her and let her know how you feel about everything.
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im getting kind of bored of listening to the same songs on my computer, so i need to find new music. i listen to basically everything except country [i just dont prefer it] i like listening to hellogoodbye, evanescence, the academy is, the postal service, basically rock is what i like the most. could anyone recommend some bands or songs i should download?
♥ (link)
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New Found Glory
Angels and Airwaves
the Decemberists (if you like the Postal service, you'll love the Decemberists)
Death Cab for Cutie
Foo Fighters
Franz Ferdinand
Hot Hot Heat
Incubus
Ok Go
the Shins
These are some of the bands I really like. I was reading your question and saw that I liked pretty much all of the bands you named (and I also do NOT care for country) so I figured you may like these bands too, especially teh Decemberists and the Shins. Give them a try.
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My mom won't let me date till I'm 18 whicu basically is never cause once I'm 18 I can date anyways so its never I want to tell her 13 is a good age but I'm too scared of a NO and I just need advice on how to tell her and what I should tell her like reasons point and ideas please help I do not want to get my first bf and 30 or my first kiss at 28 please help me...
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I can see why you'd be frustrated about your mom not wanting you to date, but thirteen does seem a bit young to me. I would wait till you're fourteen, maybe even fifteen, till you start dating. If you start dating at too young of an age, you'll be bored with it by the time you reach sixteen, when all your friends have just begun dating. Then what will you do? I highly reccomend not dating just yet, and please don't fight your mother on the topic, it will just end badlly. Just hang out with guys, maybe be a little flirty, but dating is certainly worth the wait.
And in your defense, eighteen is a very long time to wait. I don't think you (or anyone for that matter) should have to wait that long.
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I don't know if this goes here.....but...oh well.
I have been getting occasional cramps (not stomach area cramps, lower abdomen cramps) and discharge. My breasts are slightly tender, but nothing major, and im starting to grow more, i think. Im almost to 100 pounds, and i will confess i have been a little moody...are these signs that my period will start soon?
Please help me!!!! (link)
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Yes, these are signs, especially the cramps. Don't get too excited though, your period is nothing fun. You'll have those cramps to look forward to every month. You may want to carry midol with you along with a few tampons.
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On myspace a band sent me a friend request and I accepted it. I clicked onto their profile and I loved their music! They arn't a popular band, they are just starting out so I clicked onto their pictures to see what they looked like. One of the members of the band, his name is Linzy, caught my eye. The second I saw his picture I fell in love. He's not even that cute, but he's all I can think about. On the page it listed all of their screen names so I IMed Linzy and I talked to him for an hour. I told him I loved him and I wrote him a poem and I told him hes sexy and I want to be his girlfriend, and first off these things just slipped out, I started typing them and I couldn't stop myself. And second of all I don't even know him and I'm randomly obsessed. I asked him for his personal myspace and I sent him a friend request. I sent him a total of like 10 messages and comments in 3 hours. I commented all of his pictures saying "your so hot and sexy." This guy is 5 years older then me and he smokes weed, and I don't know how I can love him but I just do. I found out he has a girlfriend, and I got soooooo jealous. I don't even know him and every single person that left him a comment on myspace, I got sooo jealous for no reason. I can't stop leaving him comments saying I love him. I asked him if he liked me, and he said well I never even met you. When Linzy is not online I talk to all of the other people in his band and I ask them about Linzy. What his interests are, what he does for fun and stuff. They seriously must think I'm a freak. I dream about him and think about him all the time, and the most I've seen of him is a freakin PICTURE. I tried deleting his screen name and deleted his myspace and the band's so I could get over him, but then 10 seconds later I added his screen name again because I missed him. I don't know why I'm so obsessed when 1. I don't know him, 2. He's not cute, 3. He's alot older then me. I'm soooooo obsessed I tell all my friends about him and stuff. And him and his band have a concert that's coming right near where I live and I already bought tickets. I don't know why I'm so obssessed with him, when the other people in his band are way cuter. He's the uglyest one. And I don't like him because of his personality, because hes got the most boring personality in the world and he's soooo shy. And I promised myself I would never like any one who smokes, and he smokes weed daily and here I am OBSESSED with him. He's really nothing special. What can I do to get rid of these feelings about him. I don't know him and I'm never going to meet him, so do you think the reason I'm so obsessed and like him so much is a warning or some kind of thing God's telling me that he's the one for me. Maybe God's trying to hint to me that he's Mr. Right??? I've never felt like this about a guy, and I haven't even met this dude!! And I know he's not a 50 year old stalker because my friend went to his concert. What do I do?!??!?! I'm making myself sooo anxious and I have to go online every 5 mins to check if he sent me a comment on myspacee. Help!!!! (link)
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Okay darling, here's the thing; I think maybe the reason why you spend so much time IMing this guy and sending him messages and comments is because you're bored. I know it doesn't seem like it, but really. It's proven that people who spend too much time on myspace are bored and are on it so much because they have nothing better to do. I think first off, you should find a better, more productive way to spend your time. If you find something to do that will keep you off myspace, hopefully it will keep your mind off this guy for a while too. Find something, ANYTHING, to distract you from it. Next, you should always ALWASY keep in mind that you have never ever met this guy, Maybe he's not so great in person. (I know you said he's not cute but looks don't really matter) PLus there's the age difference and the fact that he smokes weed. If you're against the whole weed thing, that should definately be a turn off. I think maybe you should try meeting someone else. You said this guy already has a girlfriend, so it seems to me like you have a very, very, very, very, very slim chance of ever having a relationship with him (plus, no offense, but you really came off kinda stalker-ish and you probly creeped him out a bit)
So basically what I'm telling you to do is forget about this guy and try to find someone else, someone you can actually be with (and someone who will keep you off mypsace for five minutes) I know this may be hard, but you have to try. Having this obsession with someon eyou've never met is very unhealthy.
I hope this was helpful,
-Kayla Jay
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Hey my name is Rachel and iam 17 years old and my granny is causing me to be depressed I'll give you some examples.on my 17th birthday she told me that nobody loved me and that I was stupid becouse I was in special ed classes at school.my granny also told me that Iam to fat for my own good and she told me that my mom killed my dad becouse she divorced him when I was 3 and said it broke his heart and that's why he died,but I think she had a pretty good reason for divorcing him when I was 3 becouse he molested me.I took an extra adderal and bloodpressure pill today hoping I would lose weight becouse my granny keeps telling me that iam fat and ugly and I was kind of hoping it would kill me from overdose.my cousin is the only person I can go to with this problem becouse I can trust her to keep it a secreat.I've talked to my cousin about my suicide attempts and she just kept an eye on me and didn't tell my mom about it becouse she knows how my mom is.what should I do? please help me urgent. (link)
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Is this the same Rachel whose question I answered before? About your mom and how you wanted to move in with your cousin? I'm just asking beacuse I see a lot of similarities between this question and the other one.
There is no excuse for what your Granny is saying to you. I think you know deep down that what she is saying to you is most ceratinly not true. I can't understand why she would tell you that your mom killed your dad, or why she tells you you're fat and ugly. Just know that words can't hurt you, and keep relying on your cousin.
If you wanna talk to someone about it, my AOL name is Supergurl5254. I'll be ahppy to talk to you.
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Ok. Im thirteen years old and I'm around 125-130 lbs. I'm not sayint i'm fat, I am just really muscular in my legs. Although, I do have alot of, un-wanted fat in my stomach. My mom says I don't need to loose weight, but that is what moms are supposed to say. I look at my friends, or family, and they are so much smaller than me. Me and my best friends share clothes all the time. But my clothes seem to be a little baggy on her. I always feel so bad. :( My question is, what are some ways I can loose weight? I would like a detailed answer please, not just "eat right and work out." thankyou so much in advance. :) (link)
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Hey dude, I've felt the same way for a long time. I've always felt that I wasn't nessecarily fat, just bigger than all my friends. I made the desicion to loose wieght this summer and so far I lost eleven pounds. Here's what I did-
1.) I started going to the track about four or five times a week. I tried to do three or four miles each time. It's difficult when you first start, but it get smuch easier as you keep going. Just a prewarning though, when you start running, it may mess up your menstrual cycle, as in make it dissapear all together for a while. Missing one isn't too bad, but if you miss more than one, you may wanna see a doctor before you continue running. But DON'T FORGET TO STRETCH BEFORE AND AFTER! I forgot and I pulled a muscle in my left leg.
2.) I stopped eating fast food alltogether. I would occassionally have a french fry or a bite of a burger, but I no longer went to McDona;ds once a week. I started having subway more often instead. I also quit eating pizza and soda.
No soda. No soda at all. Not even diet sodas.
3.) I cut down on snacking. I no longer ate potato chips and doritoes and instead had wheat thins. What thins are seriously a god send.
4.) Don't forget about fruits and veggies. Those are good alternatives to chips and sweets.
I know it sounds hard, but it gets easier as you go along. All it takes is willpower.
Best of luck to you,
-Kayla Jay.
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are chi straightners good? like really good? i'm trying to find a new straightner for this school year. i'm free for experimenting but i have to use my own money so i want some backround information before i buy it. and what's the average cost?
oh, and if there are better straightners that are like out-of-this-world (and under 40 dollars please), i'd like to hear about them too. so far i used conair and remington but they're not working as well as i was looking for.
thanks a bunch! (link)
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Dude, Remington Wet2Straight flat iron is perfect. You can straighten your hair while it's wet, and it causes less damage than blow drying and then straightening your hair. It makes it really shiny too. Mine was thirty dollars, and I love it.
I think you should go purchase one right now. Seriously, I used my friends Chi flat iron and I didn't like it at all.
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