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November 11, 2004Answers:
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Well due to some recent screw ups that I've made, I've decided to make an advice column to help those who have made some bad choices, or just plainly put, need help. So, please, feel free to ask whatever's on your mind, hopefully I can not only help you, but learn from what you're going through too. Thanks. -Jordan
advice
Ok i like this guy and im not sure if he likes me. But i have a problem... i get all shy around him and cant talk to him unless im alone. How do i ask him if he likes me without getting all embaressed and shy?
-Steph
That's strange.. most people get shy and embarassed when they're alone, not the opposite. Well, I think that you should ask him. If you're too shy to do it in person, ask him online or on the phone. Not all guys send out clear signals, so you can't really judge on how he acts. If you start to feel embarassed or shy, just remember, it's not the end of the world. By next week, you will forget all about the embarassment. Who knows, maybe he feels the same and telling him how you feel would be for the better good? I hope everything turns out for the best, good luck.
xo-Jor*
hey um.....i tried to use a tampon b4 and it hurt....BAD. I need help am i doing it right??? HELP!!
Sweetie, it will hurt the first few times you put it in. Your body isn't used to having something up there. Make sure that you're really relaxed and dont force it in, put it in gently. After a few times, you should be used to it. I swear by those things now! Good luck, and I hope I helped you. xo-Jor*
I broke up with my ex boyfriend because i had been hearing stuff like that he was all over other girls. But then when i broke up with him he cried infront of all of his friends and everything. I still love him a lot and want to be with him but we've gone out 5 times and i just dont know if this time he means it. He's also my best friend and he told me that he loved me and would do anything to get me back! So what should i do.. go back out with him, stay broken up or just take a break?
You sound exactly like my friend Kristina (Psst if you are her, You can do better than Brandon!) but follow your heart. Even if you do love him, you can take a break and give him that time to get the "touchy feely" out of his system. Tell him that when he's ready to stop being stupid and ready to start acting like he does love you, that you'll be there.. Im sorry I hope I helped a little bit. Good luck. -Jor*
One of my really good friends has been really really depressed ever sence her and her bf broke up. A few days ago she started to cut herself.I am really worried about her. Only me and a few of her friends know that she is doing it. I really want her to stop it because I am scared that she is going to do something she will regret. It hurts me a lot to see her like this. I am in practically the same situation that she is in. I want to help her and we always talk about it. ButI feel like there is not much I can do for her right now but try and always be there for her. What should I do?
Don't tell an adult! If the situation gets worse, then yeah it would be the best but don't do it right now. I've done the same thing ur friend does, and the worst thing would have been for the parents to find out. It probably would have made me do it more. Talk straight to her about it. Friends can get her through it. Take her out, show her a good time and get her mind off of everything depressing. Remind her that cutting isn't always the way to go and it can be serious. By the time she's older and more mature, she'll look back and realise how silly it was to harm yourself over a boy. I don't know what else to say really.. But good luck and if you or her need anymore advice, my screen name and email are on my page. xo-Jor*
Im 15 male and from scotland. Currently i am in a long distance relationshop and i am confused!
I love this girl, im sure of it. And she loves me too, but i dont know, things seem hazy, its not that i dont trust her of course i do. But like she has a load of male friends and is rather shall we say "close" to them. I dnt mean anything goes on or that jus im not sure what goes on coz i cant be there and see. Like i sed i do trust this gal with my life i jus dont know wot 2 think at the moment, plz help me sum1.
Youres anon
I know exactly how you feel. But trust your heart. I know it seems crazy but your instincts are usually right. If you're still unsure, don't set yourself up for heartbreak when you find out what she did/is doing with her male friends. You can always love each other and not be together, if you're worried about her cheating on you. To some people the physical things mean a lot in a relationship. Maybe that's what she's after with her male friends. Well other than all of that, the only other thing I have to say is to talk to her about it and express how you feel. Good luck, hope it all works out. xo-Jor*
im starting to like a guy who goes to my school thats a junior-- two major problems: 1. im only a freshman... 2. hes the best friend of my x boyfriend and we didnt have what u would call the "best break up". we get along really well tho so i think there might be a chance but im also really shy when im around him... any suggestions?? i could use all the help i can get! **friend of kenzis...
There's absolutely NOTHING wrong with dating a junior. I'm a freshman and I only go for juniors and seniors, but no one has a problem with it. Go for him. If you think it'll work out, why the hell not? You and your ex aren't dating anymore, who cares if he cares. You also didn't have a good break-up so why not go for his best friend? You shouldn't revolve your current love life around an ex bf. Well good luck, send me back what happens. x0-Jor*
Hey, no you got it all wrong.. see..COREY is the one that likes me and CHARLES is a really good friend, who never really thought of giving me a chance.. so I dont know.. his EX girlfriend well the only reason she has anything to do with this is because she's jealous that Corey and I have feelings for each other.. he's just waiting until she moves so that she cant bother with him and I.. he was only with her because he loves her.. its the only thing holding them together.. so you didnt really help me out.. thanks though.
Sorry, I was rushing with advice and misunderstood. Well, if you don't really think that you and Charles would work out, go for Corey. You only live once, why not.
Okay, Here is the deal. I'm usually good at givng myself advice, but I don't know what to do on this one. I like 2 boys. Corey and Charles.
I've known CHARLES for about 1 1/2. He's like a best friend to me and I told him before that I like him, but I guess he never really thought about giving me a chance. Charles is always making me laugh and I just love being around him ( I can be myself with him and he wont put me down). Corey, Well I like him too (ALOT).. although I've only known him since this year, But I've liked him since I first saw him. I always thought he hated me, and my friends would tell me that he thought I was ugly,( People say I'm not ugly though) and he hated me. That stuff was NEVER said. Him and I were in class one day and we were passing notes.. I asked him about the things people were saying that he said about me, he said they were never true, he also said that since he's gotten to know me that he thought I was cute and cool. So now, me and Corey are good friends ( I like him because I can be myself around him also, and not have to worry about being put down).. His EX girlfriend, Dylan, she hates the crap out of me, but I hate her with a passion too.. Corey said that when she moves he will think about giving me a chance. It's all really hard because I like both CHARLES and COREY. Not only because they're REALLY cute, but because of the way they are..the way they act. Anyway, I just needed help on what to do with this problem. I've always liked Charles, and now I'm starting to like Corey even more.. I know Corey likes me (cuz he told me on the phone, using the words, "I like you") but I don't know about Charles. I recently broke up with my boyfriend, Chris, so that I could have a relationship with Corey,( and cuz Chris cheated on me with my best friend) I would like to be with corey more than charles because I am comfortable being close friends with charles. It's all really confusing because I'm not sure if Corey still wants to be with me when Dylan moves. (like he said before)Corey told me he hated my best friend and I didn't like how she was treating me, so now I'm not friends with her.. and I wonder if it made Corey think twice about me.. I mean now I can finally be myself and not have to worry about people thinking I'm like my best friend, Vonna (everyone thought I was like Vonna because I always hung out with her)..So, What do you think I should do.. What do you think my problem is... should I try to talk to Corey and tell him that I really want to be with him. (I already told him tons of times that I like him no matter what anyone says, that I was always gonna like him, and I told him I couldn't wait to be with him).. I just dont know if he cares. I sent Charles an email telling him that I still like him.. and he hasnt responded yet.. so if Charles decides to be just friends,(thats fine, its better that way for me, friends with benifits) what do I do about Corey, cuz corey is the one I want to have to relationship with, cuz he's a good guy. Help me soon, please! Give me any INFO you can about my problem, anything that will help, I'm desperate to know. THANKS TONS
-CRYSTAL!- (15, Female)
Don't mess with their feelings. You need to choose. If Corey really liked you he would have already been going out with you. What does his ex gf have to do with anything? Shes his EX, and doesn't control his life anymore. A friend would treat you better in the end. Charles seems easy going if he can sit back and wait for you to make up your mind. But think of it this way. Charles said he likes you, Corey said he MIGHT give you a chance. He isn't going to wait around forever for you to get over Corey, and you shouldn't wait for Corey either. Hope this helped some, and good luck. -Jor*
At school a few weeks ago, I walked into the assistant principlals office to get my locker combination because I couldn't remember it. While I am in there, the assistant principal takes me into her office and informs me that several teachers and staff that walked into the office said that it smelled of alcohol, and that the strong scent of alcohol was coming from me! She asked if I would be willing to take a breath alizer test and I told her yes, I will take one. Well, I obviously passed the test and then she kept talking about how strong the smell is. I told her I couldn't smell anything! I told her that maybe it's the halls in my mouth that is making the room smell like alcohol, but we both agreed that a tiny little halls can not stink up the whole room with a strong scent of alcohol. So, she brings me all the way out to the front of the school so I can smell fresh air and then back into her office, and I informed her that I still can't smell any alcohol. She was very surprised at this, and kept saying how the smell of alcohol was so strong. She asked if I smoke cigarettes. I told her yes. She asked if I had them on me. I told her no. She asked if I could prove it. I confessed that I did have cigarettes and a lighter on me, but I do not smoke in school and I only carry them on me because I walk home from school and smoke on the way home. She then, searched my things just to be sure, but she asked if she could beforehand. I didn't have anything else on me, and then she suspended me for 3 days. Well, just yesterday, I got a letter in the mail ordering me to court for this. For having cigs and a lighter at school. I just wanted to know..do I have an argument? Was she allowed to do all those things? Do I have any argument at all? I'll rate 5 for everyone. I really need help on this.
The rest of the people who answered this question are completely correct. Even thought you let her search your things with no struggle, you still had the cigs on you. I didn't think that they would go so far as a court date, but you shouldn't get into too much trouble. Jeez, they're only cigarettes for god's sake. Anyways, tell the truth, don't stretch it on anything. That will only get you into more trouble in court. if they ask if you really did have them on you and if you smoke explain it all, that's all. Sorry I wasn't too much of a help. :\ Good luck.
the drugs in question are legal, OTC drugs, but my boyfriend is completely over-reacting on the matter. they are harmless but he has some kind of paranoia about them. what should i tell him to ease his fears so i can expand my mind?
I know exactly what you mean! My bf broke up with me over the Summer because I tried a cigarette ONCE. Anyways, I'm not going to lecture on how you shouldn't do drugs. Most people eventually try something, just know that it's dangerous. SInce he cares about you enough to over react, try to cut down on the drugs that you are doing. But tell him it's not that big of a deal and you're careful. Nobody's perfect, but try to sit down and explain to him that you're not addicted, unless of course you are and that way he's absolutely correct to freak out, but that you're only trying it because you're curious. Hope I helped you. :)
Okay heres my story...
I like this guy. Lets call him Jon. He likes me as well... We only knew eachother for like maybe 2 weeks at the most but i sat with him at that table everyday at lunch and in the morning b4 classes start. Anyways.... Last friday we went on a double date with my friend and his friend... Well both of our friends...
Besides the point. We had a great time. At first we went to dinner then played pool for a while then we were supposed to go to a movie but we didnt so we went bowling instead. Well that was alot of fun. Everyday we smile at eachother and talk sometimes but i never know what to talk about around him. What do i talk about? Then when the techers get back from tech (he's one) i always leave homeroom 10 minutes early to see him. I know it's sweet to some people but is it right for me to do that? Im seriously inlove with this guy!! This weekend he's supposed to come over to my house Saturday night so i can see him b4 i go to Punxitauwnii, Clearfield to go hunting for 2 days. So i wont be able to see him Sunday or Monday. Im skippin school.
What should i do with him? Should i make a move or wait for him? I know i need to talk to him more.. Becuase everyday he talks to this girl (i think her name is Jessica) and says like how much he likes me and stuff like that. I mean hes really sweeeetttt!!!! But he also says that i need to talk to him more. I know things about him but not that much. And i reallly want to get to know him more.
Could something happen Saturday night?
What do i talk to him about?
Please give me advice... I'll try anything!! lol
Im seriouslt Happy but Dont know what to do!!!
CEC
Awwww, most crushes start out like that. Where you can't get enough of him. But if he says you need to talk to him more, you're doing the right hting by hanging out with him. When you talk to him don't worry so much. Start with casual comments like "I like your shirt" or "What are you doing later?" If you run out of things to say, just tell him that you have to get going to your next class, or whatever and you'll talk to him later. DOn't get too obsessed where you go to every one of his classes. While this is all sweet and showing that you care, he might think it's odd or that you need to lay off.
As for Saturday, don't plan your moves ahead. If he really likes you, he'll make the move if the time is right. (Keep an extra pack of altoids in your pocket just in case you think it might be ;) lol) Maybe with this time you 2 are taking apart he'll be able to sort out his feelings. If you make Saturday special, he'll be thinking about it while you're gone. Keep me posted on what happens. Good luck, hope you 2 work out!
xo-Jor*
Okay well i recently went out with this guy that i really liked and he dumped me and we have been fighting for a while so yeah we have saying these horrible things to eachother. So yeah today i went back toschool and everyone was saying that he wants to go back out with me so one of my friends asked him if it was true and he said he wanted to talk to me and so I did and he said that he still liked me. So yeah lil did i know he has been going out with a psycho gurl ever since he dumped me. I kinda knew he was but he said that he broke up with her and that he wanted to go out with me and so yeah he has been asking me and so even though i want to its like i dont know and so his girlfriend came up to me today and said why was i tryin to take her man and i said that he told me that he broke up with her and she didnt believe me and so yeah she wanted to fight me and then i said no i wasnt gonna fight because it would have been 3 against 1 and my friends werent even there for me and so i got jumped and now they are very mad and i dont know what to do!!!!!PLZ help!!!!
Okay, first about the boy it seems like he's trying to get you back but doesn't want to go without a girlfriend. The girl he is with is something on the side so that he won't go without a girl. Obviously you matter to him though. Tell him to ditch the psycho chick, or to stop bothering you. About the girls, I know, being about your age, that you most likely do not want to go to an adult about this. But if things get worse, you'll have to. For now, stick around your friends everywhere you go until this things blows over and your ex either stops asking you out or he breaks up with her. Then you have him to help back you up if he tells her how he really feels. It's not your fault that he likes you. :-) Good luck sweetie, get back to me with what happens. If you need anymore help, drop me a line. Good luck and stay safe. -Jor*
Alrighty...well let's see if anyone has any ideas on what I should do. :) Okay, well I've really liked this boy for way over a year and we went out most of the time I liked him. While we broke up though he's gone out with one girl and I've been with like two other guys but really we always seem to find eachother! But I really really really like him still, we had a few flings in the past couple months, and he has called me like everyday for a long time...up to a little bit ago and I didn't know what was up. Then I found out he asked out this other girl and my friend asked him why he hasn't asked me out yet (because he told her that he was going to but to keep it on the d/l) and he said it was because I never call him or talk to him at school. Well the thing is I do call him but not a lot and whenever I try to call him he calls me before and I tell him and he never believes me! Well now I'm trying to talk to him more in school so we don't seperate and then he don't like me anymore because I don't know what I would do! But everytime I try to do that he never talks back really because I think he totally gave up on us to. Does anyone have any ideas on what I should do about this! Please please help, it's really upsetting me and I don't know what I will do!
Well good, at least you're still trying. I'm sorry about your situation, but once you find something worth keeping, hold onto it. Call him, tell him how much he still means to you, and how sorry you are for letting things fall apart. Explain that you really do care and even if you didn't call him as much as he called you, it doesn't mean feelings weren't there. Be sincere when you talk to him about this. Guys think girls are bad with emotions, well guys are worse. Don't pout to him, but show your feelings. Besides, if you two have found each other before I'm sure you will again. Good luck, i hope it all works out for the best, -Jor*
I've become pretty good friends with this guy and he's recently been dumped by his girlfriend of two months. Things had been deteriorating for a while but he still liked her. He's kinda into 2 of my best friends but still flirts with me too. One friend doesnt like him and shes gonna say no to him if he asks her out. The other friend wants to her him out but doesnt wanna hurt my feelings. I've been working up the courage to ask him out as well but I'm really confused. The friend who wants to ask him out doesnt really like him but theyre best friends and I really think theyd ggo kinda far. With me, I think he'd say yes but I am not sure and thats kinda being retarded, and I dont wanna be afraid of anything like that as I learned from the last relationship I was in. I dont wanna hurt my friends' feelings either but she wont give me an answer whether its okay to ask him out or not. I really like him and feel happier than Ive been in months when Im with him and he seems pretty happy too =/ Thank you =(
Here's what I think... Give him some time. If he's been dumped and you say he still liked her, he's probably hurt. Talk with him, and flirt a little bit more than usual. If he responds well, tell him how u feel before jumping into it and asking him out. Also ask him how he feels about u. You dont want to get into a relationship where you don't know where his feelings are at. A boyfriend liking your friends isn't anything good either. Bad bad road to start on. But anyways, just tell him how u feel to start with. Hope I helped you. -Jor*
HEY HEY !
Whats up B-rad lol
HEY i have questions...
What is better Xbox OR Ps2 ??
Magazines or Tv ?? (u kno wat i use them for lol)
Money or Girls ??
Me or Pinksi lol ??
Ice or Water ??
Winter or Summer ??
Colins Teeth Or Face lol ??
Britney Spears or Justin M's mom lol ??
Cold or Hot ??
N64 or N64 ??
I have plenty more questions to be posted soon...
O Yeah EVERYONE LISTEN UP
Jordan is the shit but she need to lay off the drugs.... lol jp foo lol
OOO YEA I ALSO LOVE:
LED ZEPPELIN, BLACK SABBATH, FORIEGNER, $$, N64, FRIENDS, CARS, and everything else that is shiny and pretty.....
Lmao!!! U make my advice column hilarious! Thanks.
I dont play video games, they rot your mind and YOUR ARE ADDICTED TO THEM.
Tv u perv!
...Money
I don't know, but you're my friend, so it's your lucky day.
Water.
Summer
uhhh... Oh please.
Hot
And I do not do drugs. Happy i answered now? lol
HEY JOR ITS FR**R n im 15 hot n sexy n have a problem, i have a "beating the meat" problem if u kno wat i mean lol n wat should i do bout it ?? lol plezzzz help
First of all you should stop lying to yourself, Frier... You know you're not hot and sexy.. lol jp. "Beating the meat" yeah? Maybe you shouldn't be so picky with girls.. But you could always go watch Colin's movies... lol. Good luck with that problem. ;-) -Jor*
Ok so first of all my best friend (we both just started high school a couple months ago) is gorgeous and always gets all the guys... even if they're just friends... she's closer friends with all my guy friends than i am so that really gets on my nerves. It's not my friend that bothers me though because why would i be mad at her for having close friendships, but it's the guys that bother me because they act like i don't even exist. I've kind of gotten used to that, but there is this one thing that's really bugging me. There's this guy who i became friends with at the beginning of the year who was really sweet to me and he was always talking to me and hanging out with me. My best friend didn't know him for a little while, but then she met him and now he's much better friends with her than he is with me. He's actually really mean to me now; he hurts me for no reason, always says mean things to me, and he's just not acting like a good friend. He's one of those people who you want so bad to think they're not worth it anyway towards, but you still want to be really good friends with them because they're good people and fun to be around. So anyways, i think he likes my friend because he's always following her around and he spends more time with her than any other girl. I feel like if he were to ask her out, she would say yes. I don't like him or anything, but i would still feel really weird if they were to go out or even have a little thing going on. I guess i just want things to back to normal with him, where he's still a nice friend to me. What should I do?
Wow.. Well i think you should talk to your friend about the guys. If she's a good friend she'll understand how u feel and back off a little bit. As for the guy, u should talk to him about it too, ask him if he likes her and ask why he's been so mean lately... Hope I helped. --Jordan*
Well!My name is Sami and I am in a big old miss hap right now with a lot of things in my life.
I have not takled to my ex bf in over a month ya kno but yesterday I was online and he IMed me. He said some really mean comments to me. Like he kept on calling me a slut and stuff like that. I am not a slut either.I asked him what I did to him and he didnt say anything for a lil while. On halloween I went to six flags with my ex bf adam bc I thought that I still had feelings for him, all that we did was kiss. We didnt really even make out, just lil pecks here and there. My old friend nichole is telling dominic stuff that isnt true. Shes telling him that I did more with adam, when I didnt. So after I asked dominic what I did to him he was like, you went and saw adam on halloween.I told him that we didnt do more then kiss, but he was like," thats not what i heard". He has never even met my friend nichole, they have only talked on the phone. they dont really even kno eachother, and he is gonna believe her over me. Well I found out when I saw adam that I DIDNT have ANY feelings for him anymore. Atfer he and I kissed I went in the bathroom and cried bc I made the mistake of kissing him. It just hurts to much that dominic doesnt believe me bc last year when we dated we were in a mis hap just like this, where he didnt believe me, he believed everyone else. But in the end he figured out that I was not lying to him and that I WAS TELLING HIM THE TRUTH. Dominic has a gf and I can honestly say that I am happy for him. Its good to kno that he is happy. He thinks that I am all sad and miserable when I am not. Yeah I miss him and stuff but I am slowing moving on. Okay another thing is last weekend I went and saw my best friends: phoebe, dylan and tara. We all were at taras house watching a movie ok. Dylan and I are really good friends. Hes my bestest friend in the entire world. When we were watching the movie he and I were cuddling and kissiing. And yesterday online I put stuff to dylan like...Dylan-your my best friend in the entire world. I love you to death.LoL!We had fun last weekend didnt we? Your a good kisser, I hope I get to kiss you again." I am not the type of gurl that is going to kiss any guy. I have to like a guy to kiss him.I really like dylan more then a friend. I can say that I am falling in love with him. Maybe I already am. Dylans just difffernt then other guys. He excepts me for who I am. He has never hurt me in any way at all since Ive known him. Yeah dominic to me is the perfect guy but he has changed so much since we have broken up. I still really dont kno what was so bad that I did to him. I stoped talking to to dominic last night at 9 pm and I signed ofline and called Dylan right away. I cried like the whole time on the phone. I know that dominic is mad, its how he gets about situations like this. Yeah his feelings for me are fading but he still cares. It hurts more that he doesnt believe me about he adam thing, then him calling me a slut. How can he believe my old best friend nichole over a gurl (me)who is was in love with and knows inside and out. He doesnt kno nichole at all? I am at school right now and all I have been doing for the past 4 hrs is crying. Should I be crying over this or just let it pass bc I know that he is just mad and doesnt mean it. Its like Im single anyways. I have a right to kiss a guy if I like them ya know. Well please help me I am so confused.
Been there! I'm not going to be mean like the rest of the people who answered this were. Sorry to hear about your situation but it sounds like u have to figure things out. What happened with your ex is in the past, and even if it takes time, you'll realize that. Don't dwell on what you're missing, look back on what you had. And I've been saying this for a long time, Friends make the best boyfriends! It saves the most time. Dylan already knows you, apparently likes you if you two have kissed. But ask him about. Tell him how you feel. If he cares enough to listen to you cry he will listen to your feelings. Instead of asking us for advice, ask him, since he's directly invloved. Again-- Don't worry about your ex, if it helps, cut him out of your life until you're good and happy with who you have and you won't worry about his life anymore. Don't listen to what he has to say until then. Guys will be cruel but if you find one that treats you good, hold onto him. Good luck, honey.
Well!I already put a ? out.. I was Baby Gurl x169. 2morrow is going to be 1 month of me and my-ex bf Dominic being broken up! It is really messsing me up big time. Idk what to do. I miss him so much.I cant call him because he has a gf, and to be honest IDK why he is dating her. He and I dated last year in 2003 and then I had to move cities so we broke up and didnt talk for about 7 months. I went back and saw him on March 27 2004 and we had such a good time. When he and I first dated after we broke up he trid to date other gurl so forget me..IDK what to do I love him so much!
Okay here's one i can help with. Talk to him. Tell him exactly what's on your mind. If he feels the same way, he'll tell you. If not, even though it doesn't seem like it... There's plently of other boys out there. None will be exactly him, but it will get better eventually. Try spending time with another guy maybe, or go meet new people, anything to take your mind off of what's going on. Remember, it the hurt will pass.
usual story, im a freshman in high school, girl i like, she is a friend, i really like her, we went out before, but she broke it up, i like her and she likes me, just as pathetic as this is, ive never made out with a girl, hell the only time ive ever gone out with one was with her, i really do like her, just i admit, i dont know how to kiss, and i dont want to go out with her again, being afraid to kiss, so far, i can probably go out with like 5 other girls, one is hotter than her and everything, just i dont know, i like her alot. any ideas on what to do? because ive been in this situation for a LONG time, ever since about 3 weeks before school started, please anone answer because this sitiation really SUCKS
First off, the way you feel about a girl shouldn't be based on looks. If you like her- be straight out with your feelings. Don't mess with her mind and tell her about the other girls. Choose, and make your decision before someone gets hurt. As for kissing. Everyone's nervous their first time. Just go with it. Remember, confidence is attractive. You'll get the hang of it. Hope I was somewhat of a help. Good luck.