soendearing's advice column | soendearing's Advice About General Sex Questions

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Q: Is there anyway i can get tested for Aids/HIV w/o my mom & dad knowing? I mean i know i don't have aids or HIV. i just wanna make sure.

At your next physical, or doctor visit, ask them if you can get one done. It's totally confidential, and they can't tell your parents unless you give them permission to.

Hope I helped!

Q: is it true that if men drink mt.dew it will lower their sperm count????

False.

Q: m/13 so me and my girlfriend are planning to have sex. we dont know whether she should put her tampon in during it so she doesnt get pregnant, or i should use i condom. also, how do u put on a condom? when i put my penis in how fast do i go in and out?

If you don't know any of the answers, then you are not ready to have sex.

AND YOU'RE 13! LIVE A LITTLE!

Q: I started my period when I was 10, and I am almost 12 now, and I masturbate. Is that normal? Thanks! Bailey

Not to sound bitch-y, but this site is for 13 year olds and older. -.-

But I'll answer anyway.

Yes it's normal. It's just your hormones beginning to rage.

Q: im 16 and my penis is not that big im worried what my gf will think will it matter?

If she really cares about you then it shouldn't matter to her. And if she does care, then she probably doesn't really care about you all that much.

Plus, it doesn't matter the size, it's if you know how to work it, haha. =)

Q: how do you give a hand job. like i know that you have to rub the penis but like, how?

You stroke it with your hand; there's really nothing else to it.

Q: well does size really matter, i mean honestly its always love, understanding and respect that plays a major role in ,love and sex, and eventhough if size is not that great to boast of, but one is good in providing pleasure to the other person.....tell me would still size matter.
what are the other way of satisfying?

When you're in love, and accept your significant other, size should not matter. They should love you for you, not your penis size.

Q: is squirting peeing? i saw it on this video. (im a girl) how can i learn to do that? also, i love the feeling of a tounge on my clit and nipples what can i use that feels like a tongue and dont say strawberries because i get skin irritation from them and im highly allergic.

thank you =)

No it's not peeing. I have no idea what feels like a tongue that isn't a tongue. Or, how to squirt, it might just be something you can't teach yourself, and it comes naturally.

Q: okay well me and my boyfriend like 2 days ago had sex twice but we didnt have a condom either time cause we ran out and couldnt go get anymore at the time. well the first time he cummed in me but i went to the bathroom and try to clean myself and the second time he pulled out without cumming. and this kinda happen before but i wasnt preg. last month. and i should start my period at the end of the month like the 30th, now how much should i be worrying now?

Yea, a lot. You're ovulating a bit because you're period is comming. If you period comes or not, take a pregnancy test 1 1/2 weeks after it ends or is supposed to.

And if you're not ready to have a child or get an STI, don't have sex unprotected. I suggest you get on BC ASAP if you are not pregnant.

Q: how old were you when you lost your virginity? and how far along were you into a relationship if you were into one? also when do you think is okay to lose it? thanks!

14.
5 months, and we're still together today, just passed a year and 9 months 2 days ago.
I think it's okay to lose your virginity when you are planning on spending to be with the other person for a long time, and you are ready for the consequences of sex.

Q: 16/f

How big of a chance do I have of getting pregnant considering I had sex the day before my expected period? Like, I had sex last night, but he didnt go but theres still pre-cum, but whats the chance of me being pregnant? I usually get my period between the 20-23 of every month, so far I haven't gotten it and I know I can't be pregnant that soon. So what are my chances?

Well if you used protection, you should be ok. If you didn't, then I would wait about a week after you get your period to make sure. You will most likely still get your period this month, being that you had sex so close to the time of getting your period. What you really need to watch for is next months period. If that doesn't come, you're should take another test.

Q: can i hear your story? do you regret it? thoughts/feeling now? still in a relationship with that guy? or was it a one night stand? I'm just curiouss pleasee && thank you for readingg and respondingg =]

I lost mine when I was 14. I'm now 15, turning 16 in November. I have no regrets at all. I wish I waited a little longer, due to my mom not trusting my boyfriend and I as much. And yes, I'm still in the same relationship. My advice is that, if you're not ready for the consequences of sex, don't do it. I lost my mom's trust for a long time, and she still doesn't fully trust us, but she's getting there.

Q: has anyone ever had sex with out a condom for like 30 seconds, but was still okay after?

you should be fine.

Q: He is just not good in bed anymore. He doesn't do foreplay anymore, and he cums in nearly a minute and then he is done. I need help and quick! How can I get him to take more time and get more intimate. I am sick of the quickies!

http://www.infosex.com/

This site has lots and lots of info on sex, and how to keep it going longer!

Q: When giving a blow job, and then your partner cums in your mouth. Is it normal to feel crappy after that? Is there any way you can get sick from that? Is there a chance to get and STD? Is the cum any good for you and your body? Jus kinda cerious! thanks! :)

To add to both responses, sperm is a good source of protein. So in a sense, it's good for you.

Q: my boyfriend and i have been having sex for over six months now, but it doesn't seem as pleasant when he uses a condom. Does anyone have any solutions as to other things we could use for protection instead?

There's nothing else you can use really. Unless you use the female condom, but it won't be so pleasant for you.

I mean, you can just not use one, but then possibly get an STD or get pregnant.

I can guarantee you rather it not be as pleasant rather than get an STD or have a baby.

Q: ok so i need major help. about a month ago i had a pregnancy scare and i got 2 tests done that both came back negative. i had all the symptoms and i mean ALL [[my mom even questioned me about it]]. but i had only missed 1 period. so far now i have missed 2 and continue to have these symptoms and they keep getting worse. whats worse is my bf broke up with me a month ago after it came back negative [[he was my one and only so no other guys are involved]]. i am a verrry thin girl like, i'm 5'8 and 110lbs [[no i'm not anorexic, i eat a lot, it's just genetics]]. and i have really tight abs. . .well, not anymore and i'm starting to pooch a bit haha as funny as that sounds. are these symptoms just in my head? am i just gaining some weight? should i get another home test? i can't go to a doctor because i am only 17 and would die before telling my parents anything i've done. i need help [[please, no internet links cuz my dad might monitor what all i do]]

Well if you're saying you've got all the symptoms, and your mom even asked you about it, AND you missed your period for 2 months, you're probably pregnant.

take a test again, 2 weeks after your supposed to get your period.

Q: what does it mean to kiss spiderman style?
and what are other styles of kissing or positions?

I haven't seen Spiderman in forever, but I would assume the "style" is the upside down kiss.

Where he was hanging upside down from a building and she was on the ground, then they started making out.

Q: well ive been going out with my boyfriend for like 9 months.. and i was thinking about giving him one of these two.. preferably a hj.

but if you could answer these questions for both hjs and bf that would be great.

1. How old were you when you gave your first one?
2. Do you think doing it when youre 15 is slutty?
3. How do you do it exactly?
4. Does it feel weird?
5. How long does it take?
6. Is it fun for you?
7. Does it hurt your arm/neck/whatever?
8. How do you know when to stop?
9. Exactly like what part of his.. you know.. do you do it on?

thanks.

All this happened with my boyfriend, that I am still with, and have only did it to him. (Just so you know haha)

[1] Hj & Bj - 14.
[2] Nope.
[3] Hj - Just stroke your hand up and down the shaft of his penis. Bj - Start off by kissing the head and make your way to going up and down the shaft with your mouth.
[4] Hjs - No. Bjs - For the first couple times, it's a little weird, but you get used to it.
[5] However long it takes him to orgasm(cum) or when he asks you to stop.
[6] It's more fun for him than you, in my opinion.
[7] It can get your arm tired if you go for a long time, but it doesn't hurt. Bj - Nope, unless you go too far and you start gagging, if you consider gagging pain, lol.
[8] If you get uncomfortable, he asks you to stop, or he orgasms.
[9] The head is the most sensitive part of the penis, so for bjs that would be good, and for hjs the shaft.

Q: 15 in 9 days/f
well when me and my boyfriend make out.. its not that i dont really like it.. i mean i try to.. and i tell him i do.. but honestly its not like amazing. i know that im the first girl hes made out with. and like his kisses are a little too wet for me.. and he goes a little too fast and too fast into the kiss. like i want to kiss a little first before he actually puts his tounge in my mouth.. but he just like puts it in right away and keeps it in there like the whole time and like i cant even put mine in his mouth because his is in mine the whole time. like its apparent that he doesnt really know what hes doing. but i love him and weve been going out for like 9 months and hes great with everything else but i just dont know what to do about this. like i dont wanna tell him.. but like i dont wanna not enjoy it and have to lie too! Is there like a way i can like lead the kiss so i can have it how i want it?? HELP!

Haha, I kinda had the same problem the first time I made out with my boyfriend. Only, technique didn't really click with us, instead of not knowing what we were doing.

You just have to talk to him about it nicely, that's what I did, now when we make out it's how I like it, haha.

Just say after you guys kiss how you feel about it, and tell him how you would like to kiss. If he gets embarrassed, don't let him be, just comfort him. Say something like, "Aw it's okay, I just would like to try something different and to see how I like it."

Hope I helped!

bio

The names Ashley. (:
I'm a sophomore this year at Quinnipiac University.
I'm majoring in Interactive Digital Design.
I haven't been on this site in years, maybe I'll pick it up again. (:
I'm a die-hard Philadelphia Flyers/hockey fan.
I play ice hockey, I'm a goaltender.