|
|
|
Q: last year i went to a new highschoolwhere i knew just about nobody, and i met this girl who eventually became my best friend, danielle.
well we have been through alot but lately she has been trying to act all cool, like saying she was drunk when she wasnt or lying about going really far w/ guys to get attention. i talked to her about it a million times and we even stopped being friends for almost 2 weeks because of it but in the end she just goes back to it.
Then i learned to except it because she would grow out of it, shes a smart girl and we are best firends and love eachother.
But then she went to a party. we are sophmores and she gave 3 other incoming freshman guys a bj at one time. I was really mad at her for being so stupid but stuck by her because she did say that she knew she shouldnt have done it.
now im wondering if i should stick by her and try to help her which never really seems to work or to separate myself from that behavoir because her reputation is ruined from all that she has done, and being with her is starting to damage my reputation too. and i dnt ever want to be in a situatuion where she is at party being an idiot and she gets drunk and there goes my ride home or i have to watch over her like a baby. But then again, she was my best friend and i dnt want to just ditch her. i have no idea what to do? stay or go?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
reputations aren't really that important. they seem like they are but they're really not. so don't think so mcuh about that.
my advice to you is to stay friends with her but from a distance. don't get yourself too attached with her because her behavior is very reckless and could acutally harm her and if youre too close, it can harm you too. distance the friendship. that doesn't mean stop being friends with her entirely. you can still help her out and stick by her every once in a while but only as a good friend.
if you've talked about this with her before then there's really nothing more you can do. you've voiced your opinon and given your advice, it's time for her to either listen and take it or continue what she's doing.
i've been in this situation before in freshman year. and i myself know how far i'll be going with a guy but this friend i had had way different views on things than me. she was an amazing friend but she did really stupid stuff and it really hurt our friendship. there's a line that you set for yourself. everyone has it. and if you keep hanging out with her, she can eventually influence you to push your own line further back more and more. and like i said, that could eventually do you harm. so stay smart.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I realy realy need some help. My friend has been cutting herself, and i don't know what to do to help stop her. She did stop, when she was dating this guy, she said "he made me feel beautful". I realy realy want to help her, but i don't kno how. I tried to get stop, but she won't listen to me. Also she's not afriad of cutting herself, because one of her friends, friend died from cutting herself, and my friend kno's this. I realy realy want to help her stop. But i don't kno how. I also think that her mom is to blame, because her mom calls her ugly and fat. But my friend isn't, shes really pretty, and weights only 102, and her weight is dropping. So i can't tell her mom, because her mom won't help....
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
hey i really feel you on this one. my best friend in 8th grade started cutting herself over a guy and it was maybe the worst 4 months of my life. she was in the same situation, her mom was really critical on her and she was always obessed with her weight and looking beautiful [even though she already was].
the one thing you cannot do is push it and make it seem liek youre angry. because if youre angry then it's going to give her less of a reason to want to stop. treat this like a disease, not a problem. you can't get angry at someone for having cancer, it's not their fault. look at cutting the same way. be there for her, and listen to her and try to get her to open up and make her see that there are different ways of venting and ranting out problems than mutilating yourself.
majority of the time, even if they know death is a certainty, people still do things to hurt themselves only to feel "alive" and to "feel the pain". most people that attempt suicide will regret it those last few seconds before they do it.
first and foremost do not abandon her. she already feels lost and confused and losing you can only make things worse. take it inch by inch, not mile by mile. start with small things that bother her and then ease yourself into helping her with bigger problems.
i spent my entire christmas break and a few months before and after that talking to her on the phone everynight and being there for her no matter what. it sounds hopeless but it really isn't.
for us, so many people kept pressuring her to stop and getitng angry with her that she startd to pick up drinking so we had an intervention wiht the school counselor. but that may not be the best for your situation since every thing is different. but just remember to keep that option open, adults can help. the right ones atleast.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Hey so I have a boyfriend and hes really hot but I like him cause I like his personality. So my friend Allie kept on telling him to dump me and go out with her. She already has a boyfriend and I told him and we are both really pissed at her and we dont know what to do. Should I just ignore the fact that shes trying to steal my boyfriend or something else?
Thanks xo0ox
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
confront her and tell her it's really bothering both you and your boyfreind how she's persisting this while she's involved with someone else. she's definately not a worthwhile friend if she continues to do that
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: my friends and i were talking and, i know it sounds dumb but i was raised kinda "good girlish" and they were raised kinda not. Well they always talk about things that i don't understand. i just wanted to ask what is sandwiching? and well theres other stuff but i'm too embarressed to ask so this is just fine. thanx..and don't make me feel anymore stupid than i already do. Please?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
i only know one definition of a sandwhich, and it's used in dancing. it's when (usually) there's two same sexes dancing with one opposite sex in the middle. like girl, guy, girl (or vice versa).
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: ok... so my friend doesn't want me to go out with this guy. shes gone out with him and so have i. but i really do like him. she says that hes an ass hole. but i dont think so. she said that he is only nice until he has you as his gf. and then he will ignore you. she told me that if i went out with him she wouldn't talk to me for a long time. he doesn't live here, he lives in another town. she says that he will cheat on me if i go out with him. im worried that he might. part of me wants to go out with him but part of me doesn't at the same time. he has told me that he likes me and i told him i like him to but he hasn't asked me out. does he really like me? should i go out with him and lose my friend?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
tell your friend that you understand that she is just looking out for you and cares for you and that you are aware of every possibilty that she is bringing up. but also tell her that this is something you've got to handle on your own. if you do end up getting hurt, you realize that's a risk to take (and though it may look stupid and against the odds in her eyes, he's worth the risk in yours). there are just some guys that you have to endure stuff through inorder to get over them. if she doesn't understand that then just give her some time. if she's really a friend she'll stick around and eventually come around to understand your needs and that this is not something worth throwing a friendship away over.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: im totally falling for my bestfriend. i liked him at the beginning of the year, and because of that we became the good friends we are now. we do everything together. Like EVERYTHING. and now, im falling for him again. hes just, hes perfect.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
for me.. it makes the friednship stronger (after the breakup and during the relationship) i will admit it gets weird and awkward after the breakup but that gap closes itself up. trust me. there hasn't been an ex yet that im not good friends with. it's ok to fall for your friend; i actually prefer that. that way you know them atleast somewhat you know? bring it up.. if you're ultra shy then be reasonable and think does he like me back? the biggest mistake girls make is taking things too seriously and like taking everything that they do as a sign they're flirting back (and they end up getting hurt real bad thinking they've been plyaed when they just took every single small thing as a sign of flirting back)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: this question dosent really go under friendship..but there was nothing else i coul put it under...anyway..i got a dvd player for christmas and i have some good dvd's like napolian dynamite but i get sick of it if i watch it alot and the day after tommorrow but that is pretty long and finding nemo but that aso gets kinda boring... the only movie that i enjoy watching is my favorite movie ever...sweet home alabama...i dunno what it is about that movie but i never get sick of it...does anyone have any other movies that are good and they never get sick of? cause i would really like another movie to watch! lol =)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
cruel intensions. (so hilarious.. uhh sexual but still great plot) idle hands (cute and funny).. are you a HP fan? ... Pirates of the Caribbean, kill bill 1/2... pearl harbor (kinda long)... Xmen.. how to lose a guy in 10 days.. big daddy. yeah the list goes on lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I'm in 8th grade. This is my last year at m school, and I have become like really close with these two girls. Like and we are going to differnt highschools, but they are the only people that I can actually tell them stuff. I'm like really scared because i need one of them to talk to at school..to help me with my problems and stuff! how am i going to survive with out them?! i am totally scared! mauhh
kmul
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
don't be... i'm still very good friends with alot of my friends that are gone (i'm a freshman and our middle school got split up too last year).. it reallllyl sucks but you'll get through it.. keep in touch and contact with each other often and don't worry you'll make more friends that can help you with your pboelsm.. plus you've got advicentors too lol
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I have an exboyfriend that I don't like-like but I do like him as a friend. I want to be his friend but every time I get around him I don't want to talk becuz the last time we did he said why did you break up with me. I ran off so I couldn't answer but I broke up w/ him bcuz I think that i was using him. i haven't had a boyfriend in a while so i wanted one real bad so i went out with him. we hugged but didn't kiss and it still didn't feel right. How do I talk to him without hurting his feelings or making him mad? (sorry its so long)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
when he asks.. say it just wasn't right between us. and ask him if you two can try to move past that... it may get alittle dirty but it's a risk you'll have to take.. goodluck and i hope i helped
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I have two parties to go to on the same day...I don't know which one to go to. I wanna go to both parties but I can't be in two places at once. They're both very good friends and I don't wanna hurt their feelings. Which party should I go to?=(
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ouch.. umm flip a coin? lol seriously... either you dont go to either of them just to be fair to your friends or go to half of the time with one and then the other half to another... or go to the one you actually relallllly like truly deeply know deep down inside you wanan go to.. and then just drop by to the other one to make sure your friend knows you still care.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: Hey everyone...my best friend always seems to not follow through with her plans. Most of the time it's the fault of her parents cuz they can be pretty strict. I know I can't be mad at her for that, but sometimes I feel very frustrated that she can never hang out cuz i wanna spend time with her n stuff. And the times wen she says the can hang out, the next day il ask her if she can still hang and she'll say "maybe" or "idk" and then by the time she figures out she can't hang out it's too late to do n e thing about it. It just annoys me that even when she says she can hang out something always happens, is there anyway I can change this?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sadly you really cant.. i know exactly wat your'e going through.. me and like my best friend of all time have been trying to hang out for like a month now (literally) and it's not working.. i have realllly strict parents too and her parents i sawer dont' like me(lol) but yeah.. you can't really do anything about it.. just wait it out and have to keep in mind that she probaly woudlnt go back on plans if she was a true friend and just when you guys do get to hang out... you make the best of it.. sorry =[
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I've had a big crush on this one guy for a few weeks now. I've gotten to know him, and all of my friends that are in the "gossip network" found out that the guy that I like a lot (let's call him Adam) likes me and asked me out to the dance. So I say yes, and I'm happy for the next few days (and still am happy). So I send along with a note my number and my email. He sends me his. So now my friends in the "gossip network" told me that we are officially boyfriend and girlfriend. My best friend *AMY* likes ADAM, is ADAM's friend, and is REALLY mad at me because ADAM asked me to the dance and not her. She keeps calling me a backstabber and a piece of garbage. She's still my friend, but I don't know how she could get all mad at me if HE asked ME out and not her. It's not my fault. How can we get to be friends again?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
well even if she doesnt admit it she is mad at herself... she may be thinking that she's just not pretty enough to cut it or that you're just too perfect or w/e.. give her some time and remind her that guys come and go but you and her will always be friends. if it really bothers you then you can tell her that you'll break up or break off away from adam till she is ok with you two being togther (it probably hurts her to see you two together.. it usually does). thats only saying that you can handle that... no one is forcing you to break up with adam.. it's totally up to you.. just talk to your freind and see where it gets you.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: my best freind Tina and i have been best freinds sicne we were 4 and we're so close! well she and i became freinds w/ this girl kaylinn and at first her and tina were really close but a couple months later they got into a huge fight and hate eachother...now im caught in the middle...i would pick my bestfrind over kaylinn cuz i've known tina for ever but im not gunna just drop kaylinn. i dont want enemies! anyway i really dont kno what to do so if theres any tips feel free to say them
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
this happens to me alot.. i'm really diversed when it comes to relationships.. it really sucks sometimes... but back to your dilemma. tell them that you refuse to pick sides and that tina is your best freind but kaylinn is still a friend of yours. tell them both (if it ever comes up.. dont bring it up it usually ends up getting messy) but if it comes up then tell them both that you are going to remain neutral. there is no reason that YOU cannot be friends with BOTH. hope i helped
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: my poor jigaboo head =/ this shud be pg 13!!
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
ehhh? me confused haha.. you're such a dork stephanie. love ya! bffe =D
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: last year i gotinto this huge fight with my best friend in the whole world and its too long to explain but to fill you in the fight caused us to not be friends anymore. Now this year , out of the blue she apologizes and she confessed how she really feels and how she regrets how she stopped being my friend and stuff and i started to miss being friends with her. Should i be friends with her again...i mean theres always room to start over...right?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
of course.. she is our best friend and life is too short for grudges..! =D
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: 14/f I have been friends with Greg for 12 years! We're good friends and have been forever. I found out fairly recently that he likes me romantically, the thing is that I don't like him back. He has been telling my friend that he would do anything to make me like him back. I don't want to hurt his feelings, but I need him to know that I don't like him and there is no future for us. I want him to let go and move on to someone else. How do I make him realize that he needs to move on and how can I help him? I don't want to lose him as a friend.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
sometimes you really can't do that.. greg has to figure this one out on his own. it'll take time and probably will put some strain on yourself as well to put up with his sweet lovings but hang in there. it happens to me alot too.. which really sucks since like all the guys i actually like see me as their sister and all the guys that like me i see as a brother hehe. but if you really don't like him (in that way) then you just dont. don't feel guilty about it or give in and give him a chance just because maybe things will work out. stand your ground because in the end it'll hurt him worse if he knew you were only going out with him to "test" things out or to make him happy.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: I put this in Friendships because I didn't nkow where else to put this. Well, I'm a new student this year and I've made a few friends. Everyone's really nice to me and so far there hasn't been one person who dislikes me, but this one guy in my 3rd Hour class. He's part of the "popular crowd" but he just really gets on my nerves. If I just turn around to glance at something, he goes "TURN AROUND, I DONT WANT TO LOOK AT YOU!" Today, he was walking in front of my desk and he said something mean (I forgot what it was) and so naturally, I hit his arm playfully and he walked away. When he put his books on his table he walked over to me and said, "Don't touch me because you're really ugly." That one hit me really hard. I never really thought anything about my looks or stuff like that but now since I'm new to the school and he said that I'm starting to feel self conscious. The other day a girl pointed me out and said, "Isn't she so pretty?" but when he makes fun of me(which happens probably everday) I get hurt and pushed down for a while. I'm sorta friends with some of his friends but I'm not really that good enough friends to tell them to talk to him for me, especially since he's dating one of them! I'm sick of him always hurting me and always trying to push him down. I've tried telling him to stop but obviously he won't quit. I don't know what to do...
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
god what a jack ass.. i know some guys like that at my school. don't let him get to you. he's just some queer punk that thinks he can get somewhere by hurting other people. he's a really big loser and you really should ignore him. it's great that you didnt really have any subconcious feelings about yourself.. i wish i was still like that lol. but it's obvious that you're a really cool person to hang out with (seeing how easiyl you've made friends already) and i bet you're really pretty.. (or else that girl woudlnt have pointed that out). focus on that and don't let one stupid guy ruin a great new school for you. =]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: ppl always say if the love is strong enough, not distance can separate the two person. this is not true i think. I met this girl on line, and she is a angle. I enjoy talkin to her very very much. i would talk to her for hours on aim feeling as if only a minute has gone buy. lol ya i sound like a idoet. the thing is, because she goes to another school, i never see her and thus the friendship died down. And now that i'm in high school, the chance for a decent conversation is even less. so inevitable, we stoped talkin all together. this is very sad, because she is one of the few girls i ever opened my self up to. we still consider eachother as great friends, but distance is the relationship a memory only. so i dont know what to do. i really do want ot talk to this special girl again, but how can i overcome distance?
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
umm.. distance is really tough and sometimes you just kinda fade apart after a while.. but there'll be times when you two will need each other or something will just happen and you guys will just be so much closer. You just have to wait it out.
It's really cool that you've found a girl that you can really hang out and open up with. I don't think a friendship like that will like all together disappear.. but highschool is so hard and it does kinda complicate the relationship; even if the relationship is barely there. hang in there. =]
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: vicki ur super smart.. so i need ur help cuz iono wat to do.. wat do u do when a friend of urz is hurting himslef/herself..
--pri....(u shood know who it is from that!)
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
if you are posivite they are mentally capable.. then try to help them mentally stop themselves.. if it persists for more than a few weeks or it gets worse at any time (like deeper cuts or even scarier ideas/attempts) report it to a couselor or adult immediately.. but in the mean time try coaxing them *depending on how long they've been cutting* and see if you can help with.. b/c most of the time it's just either stress or family related crap and friendship can really help with alot of that stuff.. also DON'T get fusterated with them because it'll only worsen it and make them feel more pitiful or uesless as it is and make them feel stupid or impudent in thinking that they are stupid for even thinking abotu cutting (which will only worsen it and make them cut or want to cut more). support then all the way and put on a brave face. you can also recommdent they seek couseling or talk to a family meber about it *if that's possible.. in some cases that's not and it could only make things worse* or recomment a whatcha mah call it.. teen crisis hot line. sometimes they can really help.. always remind them that they'r enot stupid and that they are not alone. because really they're not. there's about half of the people at arnold that are still cutting and probably more than half of cy-falls that are too..let them know they shouldnt have to deal with their probelms alone
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Q: 15/f god sometimes i hate myself. im really outgoing when im around my best friends and the people i've known my whole life. but when i meet new people i act all weird. tonight we had a football game and my new friend invited me to hang out with her friends. so when i first met them i was all cool and outgoing, but then we sat on the bleachers and i didnt say a word and they talked. the whole night i just sat there. cause i had nothing to say except random stuf. and everytime i talked they were like shocked to hear me actually say something. i seriously wanted to run away and die. now im afraid theyre gonna think im boring. i dont know what to do.........
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
you're soo not alone! i've got a billion friends like that.. heck even i'm like that at times.. i'll be like the dumbest and funniest and weirdest person ever and then one minute im like so quiet and kept to myself, you know? and besides.. these are like what? 3 people out of like 3945830958 others. if they think you're boring then that'll just give you a small challenge of proving to them you're not. it's not your fault that you just dont really have much to contribute to their conversations..but next time if you want.. then try to steer the convo to something you like or you know will get you talking. or bring up a story about one of your friends or an event or something that happened. first impressions AREN'T everything.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
bio
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|

this site has been down for a while but i'm starting it up again. i've been really busy with school work and other activities but now you can ask me questions again.
anyways about myself, i've gone through alot in my life and it's all made me stronger so i can relate to nearly any situation. i really love people. when i get older i do plan on doing something in this sort of field, maybe psychiatry. i'm currently a junior in highschool and i devote all of my time to either my friends, theatre, or school. yeah i'm sort of a nerd. if i can't get on here to reply to your questions and its urgent then you can always feel free to IM me on AIM and i'll try to help you on there. i'm basically always on.
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Info
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Website: E-mail: Gender: Female Location: Texas Occupation: Student Age: 16 AIM: Yahoo: MSN: Vickiooos@hotmail.com Member Since: September 28, 2004 Answers: 221 Last Update: July 3, 2006 Visitors: 15433
Main Categories:
Favorite Columnists
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|