Although I am only 18 I have been through more than most adults have. If you have any questions about drugs, suicide, or family problems then I can help you out a lot. I've had to deal with all of that and I want to try and help people before they get as involved in it as I was. I will try to understand your situation the best that I can and give the best advice that I can. So ask me anything and I will answer you.
Gender: Female
Location: boston
Age: 18
Member Since: April 27, 2005
Answers: 110
Last Update: November 25, 2007
Visitors: 6653
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okay so I hooked up with this guy one of my best friends has a thing for. I had no intention to and I have no feelings for him at all. when she asked me if I hooked up with him, I said no first but then I told her the truth 2 seconds later because I cant lie to my best friend. Now she is mad at me because i attempted to lie. what should i do? (link)
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just try talking to her. if she's really your best friend then she'll forgive you. Just apologize tell her that you made a mistake and that you feel bad for it. If she is truly your best friend she will forgive you just dont get mad at her for being upset and accept that you made a mistake. She'll come around.
Hope things work out
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Okay, I've been best friends with this girl since last year and we've been so tight! And now I think my other best friend is jealous and is trying to take her away from me! What should I do? (link)
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First I don't think your best friend would try to ruin a friendship for you. If she is then she's not really your best friend. You should talk to her. Ask her what's going on. You haven't really given enough information here so I'm just going to throw out a scenario. If your best friend who you think is jealous is starting to spend more time with your other friend and you are starting to feel excluded then talk to your friends. Both of them. Tell them that you are started to feel left out and you think that you are losing your friendship with them. No matter what is going on you need to talk to the jealous friend. Tell her that you think that she is trying to break up your friendship and explain why you think that. If she is truly your best friend then it is probably just a miss understanding and she will explain, apologize, and all will be well. If she is trying to ruin your friendship then first she's not really your friend and second you need to talk to your other friend and tell her what happened. Hopefully it is just a misunderstanding and everything will get better.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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Ok heres the deal..im 14 and in the 9 grade and i feel like i have no friends..i mean yea i talk to people at school but idk like at lunch i sit with these ppl that my "friend" sits w. and i dont even sit by her i sit at the end of the table w. these boys and i dont even tlk to them i just sit there and eat my lunch. Then there comes the weekends and i have nothing to do and i usually stay home w. my mom and dad and i come home every day after school its really is pathetic..any idea to help me? (link)
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Don't be so shy. If they're your friends then they will want to spend time with you. Ask them what their plans are for the weekend and if they say nothing then be like oh me either you want to hang out or something? You need to ask people to hang out with you if you want it to happen don't wait for them. I doubt that your friends don't wnat to be around you if they didn't then they would avoid you and wouldn't want you around them. Once you ask and you start to hang out with them they will start to ask to hang out with you and before you know it you'll be doing something everyday of the week.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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My name is Kayla and I live in Houston, Texas. O.K, I have known this guy for about three years. He is a total gentleman. By the way, I'm 13 and so is he. We were born on the same day. He has some sort of autism that causes him to act younger. People at school don't respect him. He has crushed on me ever since fifth grade and now, we're in seventh and he still has this crush. He has asked me out several times and I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO NOT HURT HIS FEELINGS. He likes that "Pokemon" show on WB kids and he's obsessed with "Yugi-oh" and he's just... weird. He's really sweet though. His mom just passed away on Friday the thirteenth and he's really depressed. I called his mom Aunt Paula and he called my mom Aunt Leanne. I love him and all... but not the way he loves me. He's more like... my cousin/brother. Not a boyfriend. I told him I would LOVE to be his friend but I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. A long time ago, he told me he had a dream about me. I asked him what it was about. He got all shy and red in the face and he smiled, showing his braces. Then, I said "O.K, you tell my sister and my sister will tell me." my sister was only 9 at the time. He whispered it in her ear and ran away. My sister Brittany told me and he said his dream about me... naked... making out with him. So, I stopped talking to him for a while because he said he would make a move on me. I was really scared to be alone with him. A few months later, he told me he stopped having those dreams and he was sorry that it scared me so I forgave him and we were friends again. He asked me out again and I told him "No. I only like you as a friend." and he started CRYING!!! He's like a cousin to me but not like that. I really don't know what to say. I rate good answers and will email anybody who wants me to. Please help me!
~~~Luv, Kayla (link)
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It seems like you are really nice to this kid and that's a really good thing, kids like that need people to be their friends. When he has asked you out you have the done thing you weren't mean about it you were honest and that's the best way to deal with things. I'm sorry to say this but your kindness has put you in this situation. It sounds like he just found someone to be his friend and now he's getting obsessive. You have done nothing wrong keep that in mind. Try making it clear that you like being his friend and that he's like a brother to you but you just don't want to be in a relationship with him. I think that the more that gets pushed in his head the more he'll believe it and soon he'll be grateful just for your friendship. He will probably cry and get upset again just comfort him make sure he knows that you do value his friendship. That is really all you can do.
Good luck and I'm sorry that I couldn't be more help
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Me and this girl Katie hung out all weekend. She wanted me to come over, but I had to wait till 3:30 (its wus 11:30 at the time) another girl Jessica called me and Katie to go to the pool, but Katie couldn't go b/c her parents couldnt drive hur to Jessica's house. So me and Jessica went to the pool and I feel bad for blowing off Katie, what should I do? (link)
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Well you shouldn't have blown her off like that but you can't change that now so is Katie mad at you for blowing her off? If she is then you need to apologize tell her that you are very sorry and then hang out with her(if she wants to hang out with you) and don't blow her off again. Tell her how you feel bad about it and that you are very sorry that you blew her off. It will work out once she realizes that you are sorry and that you feel bad about what you did.
Good luck and I hope it works out
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ok my best friends (who is also my boyfriend)dad just recently passed away.i no its been hard for him but hes taken it so well, way better than i thought he would. i told him i was always there if he needed to talk to anyone about anything and he said he appreciated it.im kind of hesitant about talking to him about his dad or bringing it up but it seems like he sometimes wants to talk about it.he'll bring him up in our regular conversations and he'll write about him. the thing is, im not sure if he actually wants to DISCUSS about it or not.should i let him do the talking on this topic or talk about it w/him?because maybe he wants me to ask about it and maybe he enjoys talking aobut his dad but im not sure.... wut should i do? (link)
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He probably wants to talk about it but he doesn't want to start the convo. He probably doesn't know how It's hard to talk about someone that you've lost and it's a lot easier when someone enitiates the convo. The next time he mentions his dad try asking him how he's doing with that. For example say your talking about shoes or something and he says oh my dad used to like those shoes or my dad was going to get me those shoes just say how are you doing with that? Ask him if he's ok and if he needs to talk. He might say no and if he does then don't push it let him come out on his own. If he really wants to talk he will when you ask. Try going through this process a couple times but not everyday so that you don't seem pushy. This is a tough situation. Just make sure that he knows that you care and that you are there when he needs you.
Good luck and I hope things get better for your friend
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MY friend is nice, but everyone talks shit about her, it's so aggreivating to listen to people talk about her in study hall. It's awful. I've said stuff to them before, but that jsut makes them talk about her more. I want to tell her, because she has a right to know, and last time I mentioned someone said something she kind of wanted to know what they said. When I did tell her, she started crying and was upset. People who make my friends cry.....they make me get all....dSFHSZXFNDFN. What should I do? Tell her when people talk about her, or keep quiet and tell her no one is? (link)
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I think that she deserves to know but I can understand why you wouldn't want her too. If it were me I would want to know that people were talking about me but I wouldn't get upset about it so there's a difference. I think that you should keep sticking up for her she's your friend and that's the best thing to do but I think that you should only tell her if she asks. If she says was someone talking about me then say yes don't lie to your friend but tell her that you stuck up for her and then be there for her if she needs someone to cry on. If she doesn't ask then don't just say hey someone was talking shit about you today that will make the situation worse. Keep doing what you're doing by sticking up for her you are a good friend and she's lucky to have a friend like you.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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well my friend to,d me the other day that she tried cutting and she showed me the scar. i told her it was bad and everything..i was like yelling at her not to do it again and what it could do to a person. she told me she would never do it again and so far she hasnt i made her let me see her wrists..and i know there are other places that she could cut too like her stomach and stuff..but im not going ot do a full body search on her everyday and im really worried about her. she made me promise not to tell anyone else..but i told my other really good friend i know she won't tell because i know she would be worried about her too. i really dont want to do and i dont know if shes lying and is still cutting..and i don't want to tell anyone because it was just one time and if she really stopped i would feel bad she would be really mad if i told on her. she would never tell me anything else again and im scared i will loose her friendship. im really worried about her please help me i rate high**
--michelle (link)
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Ok I used to cut and if she did it most likely means that something stressful is going on in her life and she doesn't know how to deal with it. If she said she just tried it then she's not addicted to it so you don't have to worry about that yet. You should talk to her if there wasn't anything stressful going on then she might have just done it for attention and then you have nothing to worry about because she probably isn't cutting deep and it was just a one time thing. If there is something stressful going on that caused her to cut then you should talk to her about it. Tell her that there are other, healthier ways to deal with pain besides cutting and that you are there for her if she ever needs to talk. I wouldn't worry about it as long as she knows she can trust you then she will tell you if she cuts again and then you can talk to her. Making her promise you she won't will probably help that's what I did with my friend and it helped for a whil because I didn't want to break my promise. Just talk to your friend make sure she knows that you care about her and that she's worried and it will work out.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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There's this guy named Jeff and sometimes, he is soo nice and funny to me..but other times, he always tells me that I'm ugly..he says it in a "just kidding" voice but idk if he is being serious or if he really is just kidding. It hurts my feelings. What can I do? (link)
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Talk to him. He's probably just doing it to try and show off and be funny. A lot of people make fun of other people just to get a few laughs. That is probably the case here. Tell him that he's being an ass and that you don't like the way he acts sometimes. If he really cares and if your friend if he doesn't then you don't need him. You don't need someone to walk all over you and treat you like that. Talk to him and see what happens.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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ok well, theres this girl that like hates me and i didnt do anything to her! can anyone think of a reason why she hates me so much? shes really annoying, like shes pissed off at me because my best friend((whos a guy)) like loves me and he calls her a bitch all the time. Also another reason why i think she hates me is because me and her best friend have become really close, and shes mad. what can i do so i dont KILL her?
and also, i feel really bad because the best friend i was talking about earlier, he is sooooo good to me, he always sticks up for me and no matter how mad i think im making him he never gets mad at me, and when i told him i liked him a little while ago he still wanted to be around me. how can i get over it? (link)
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She's a bitch. She's probably jealous of you because you have two really good friends who obviously really care about you. The fact that you and her share the same friend causes some problems for you though. If your guy friend doesn't care that you two hate each other then I wouldn't worry about just try to keep out of the middle of things because that could ruin your friendship. You need to just try and avoid her the less you see and talk to her the less of a chance there is that you two will argue or fight or kill each other. I konw that that is easier said than done but you really need to try. It seems like you have good relationships with your friends and when they see that you are trying to avoid confrontation and a fight they will realize how childish she is acting and they stay by your side.
Good luck and I hope it works out
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ok there is this kid rick at my school that is touching me inappropriately and i've told him several times to stop it. well the other day he was definitely touching and i told him to stop me friend keith was near by so i yelled to him so he could tell rick to get off me. i yelled his name and he just turned around and said bye. keith claims that rick is just kidding around be he is not. i question if keith is my friend or not cause a friend wouldn't just leave you like that. i need help ASAP!!!! (link)
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Ok first what rick is doing is completely wrong and he has no right to violate you like that. You need to tell the school right away. That it sexual harrassment and he needs to be punished for it. As for keith you should talk to him. Tell him that you nkow that rick wasn't kidding around and that you really needed his help. Tell him that a real friend would have helped you and that you don't appreciate that at all. If he's really your friend thatn he will apologize and try to explain what he was thinking. Talk to him and if he acts like it wasn't a big deal and like you are overreacting then he's not really your friend and you don't need him.
Good luck and I hope I helped
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okay so im best friends with this girl. we always get into really stupid fights and stuff and she ALWAYS talks about me behind my back, or even when im looking straight at her. tons of people in the school hate her and always ask me why im best friends with her. she also treats me like crap, uses me, and walks all over me...everybody tells me that. except for some reason i keep making plans with her. ive never really said anything bad about her, except when we got in this huge fight last week. i was talking with her on the phone with her boy-toy (this guy who shes obsessed with whos just usuing her) and then i say brb and i set down the phone and when i come back i hear her saying to him "omg shes so annoying she acts like 2 different people like when shes with me shes like omg i love you bff and then when shes around the popular people shes like eww i hate you" (and ive never done that...and its not like theyre the popular people we're really good friends) and then i confronted her about it the next day and she denied it, then i told one of my good friends (who hates her) the whole story, so she bitched her out for me...then she comes like storming into our class and tries to bitch ME out...and we made this huge scene so then we didnt talk for 2 days and everyones like to me good job she treated u like shit dont make up with her (even tho when we get in fights like we make up the next day) so then she called me like the night after our fight (it lasted a few days) and she was sobbing and like asking for forgiveness so im like ill think about it...then she was talking shit about me more the next day and i was just watching her and she knew i was watching so it pissed me off..so we kinda made up but we dont talk anymore..should i just forget her completely or start hanging with her again? (link)
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Just forget about her. You need someone to treat you like that. You obviously have friends who don't talk shit about you and are actually your friends you don't need her. Nobody needs friends like that. Obviously people know that because it sounds like a lot of people hate her. Honestly if I had a friend like that I would just tell her that I don't need someone to be a complete bitche to me and talk shit behind my back when they're supposed to be my friend. If she calls and does that apology crap again just be like no I don't want to hear it. You have tried you have stayed friends with and put up with her shit long enough it's time to move on and let her find someone new to treat like shit. You don't need someone like that in your life just remember that.
Good luck and I hope it all works out
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I went out with a guy Sept-Dec, and it ended very badly. I got really disinterested halfway through, but kept convincing myself I liked him, so I wouldn't have to deal with it. Finally, I couldn't take it anymore, and I basically started ignoring him. Not intentionally, it was just hard to pretend to be excited to see him. He only took about a week of this before he broke up with me. Even though I had wanted out, I was really sad, especially when I heard he was dating someone else. I got comepletely over it very quickly though.
A couple weeks into x-mas break, he called me and told me he'd screwed up really badly, and he asked me back out. I was totally disinterested by that point, so I flat-out said no. When school was back in, he wrote me a note about how he owed me an explanation and how he knew I said no the second time because he'd hurt me, and other similar bullshit. His ego just shined through so well. I wrote him a nasty letter explaining that I had said no because I didn't like him and for that reason only. I told him about how I actually lost interest halfway into the relationship. It was a pretty scary letter. We haven't spoken since.
I assumed he was over me by now. But the other day, I was talking to his good friend who told me that my exboyfriend still thinks he's in love with me. He says he thinks he screwed it up really bad, and he knows I hate him now. (not really true)
He's moving pretty far away right after school ends. I'd really like to talk to him face to face before then, but I don't know what to say, if anything. I'd like to apologize, and I'd like to clear the air. I don't know if it would do more harm than good, though. Suggestions? (link)
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I think you should deffinately talk to him. Tell him that you didnt' mean to be so nasty in the letters but you were being honest. Tell him that you weren't trying to mean or anything you just weren't interested. Try to stress that you are sorry for the way things turned out and for the way you acted. Just let all your feelings out and be honest. Even it doesn't work out it will make you feel better to know that you at least tried.
Good luck and I hope it all works out
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ok well i have like 3 questions
1) I wanna go to the movies with my best guy friend and see a scary movie with just the 2 of us so i can get closer to him, but how do i go about asking him but not making it sound like im interested in him?
2) When my mom takes me to the movie, shes gonna be bugging me about who im going with. Should i lie and tell her im going to see a happy movie with a bunch of girls and him so she doesnt hassal me?
3) This ones not related, its for my friend lycia. Well she really likes this boy donnie, but he likes her best friend and her best friend is starting to like him even though she has a boyfriend. She wants to tell him she likes him but she doesnt want it to get back to her best friend and she knows he'll tell her, she asked me to help her but i have no idea how.. any pointers? (link)
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Ok for your first question just say hey I want to go to a movie but I don't want to go with a bunch of people because it gets annoying. And you were wondering if he wanted to go with you. You could also say that there are a bunch of people going and then like the day before the movie tell him that a bunch of people aren't going and it's just going to be you two.
Well if you tell her that you are going with a friend that's a guy will she flip out and not let you go? If the answers yes then you should just say I'm going to a movie with my friends try not to get too specific so that it's not really like you're lying.
As for your friend I really don't know what to do in that situation...maybe she could just talk to him and ask him not to tell her.
Good luck and I'm sorry that I couldn't be more help
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my friend (let's call him Fred) told me that my other friend (let's call him jake) was pissed at me because i did something. so i said "okay?!" i asked jake if he was mad at me and he wasn't. so i think my friend is tryin to start a fight anc cause drama. what should i do?? i already told fred that he needs to knock off the drama with jake and me. i also told him that i think he's jealous of me hanging out with jake.
(link)
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It sounds to me like you've already done the right thing. You just need to make sure that fred got the point. You need to let him know that you don't want any drama and that if he's going to keep trying to cause problems between you and jake then you're going to be pissed. You don't want to have drama between you and either of your friends but do you really want to stay friends with someone who is trying to start shit? You need to let him know how you feel and tell him that if it needs to stop.
Good luck and I hope it works out
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my best friend has a girlfriend and i'm not use to him having a girlfriend .I keep geting pissed off i try not to show it but ,my friend cobly can tell when i look away or don't speak to any one . She (joc) asked me if i would get mad if they went out and i said no i was lying it does ,and we went to the movies the other day he begged me to go becasue his girlfriend couldn't go unless i did. So i went and his brother went his brother is about 16 almost 17. And we well we just started making out and tyler got mad ..and i don't know why i didn't say anything when him and his girlfriend kiss or hug or do that kinda stuff ..i don't know what to do know and oppitons ? (link)
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It seems like you both like each other as more than just friends. You get angry when he asks out other girls and has a girlfriend and he gets angry when you make out with another guy. I think you and him need to talk. You need to tell him that you noticed that he got mad about you and his brother and that it kind of made you mad when he got together with his girlfriend. Maybe if you let each other know how you feel and where you stand it will make things easier. He's your best friend and if you talk to him about this it should make things better. You need to tell him that you are going to see other guys and that you know he's going to see other girls. You need to let each other know what doesn't bother you and what makes you jealous. That will probably solve a big part of the problem. You never know you might found out that your feelings for each other are stronger than you thought.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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school is full of bitches, i know....this one girl who is my 'freind' walkes around wispering to people. she yells about how she and her bf are on 3rd base. then she critisizes you. she should not be talking...(this is gonna sound soo mean) she is so fat that she takes up 2 bus seats. no boy will go near at her in our school. i think she makes it up. she is acting really bitchy to people w/out boyfreinds, (or people like me who keep them secret) when she found out about my bf. she started being nice to me. she wants me to walk around and.....u kno. i want to get rid of her, but she followes me around. she also asks deatails about my bfs kisses. i really hate her. how do i rid myself?
ps: i am 13, and she is almost 14.. (link)
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Frist you should try to tell her how you feel. Tell her that you can't stand the way she acts and treats people and that you don't want to be friends with her because of it. If she won't listen to her when you tell her nicely then you need to be brutally honest. Tell her that you can't stand her you might even have to yell to get your point across. If you really want her away from you then you might have to be mean. It sounds like she's a real bitch and she deserves it so it shouldn't be that hard. Try writing her a note and talking to her nicely to tell her how you feel and if that doesn't work then be a bitch back. I wish I could be more help.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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okay heres the story. my best friend cut really bad at the end of 7th grade(were in 8th now) and over that summer. the school, both friends and the administration, was aware but she never really got any kind of help. seh always carved peoples names who had hurt her or someone who was really important to her. okay this has to coem out to. shes bi so these people are girls. one was a best friend who stopped being friends with her another was a girlfriend and one is an x girlfriend. okay sorry that was kind of irrelevent. but anyway she got a lot better after this girl broke her heart. (i know you would think she would get worse) anyway she only cut maybe three times the whole school year. i stopped really worrying about it. but then in the past week she did it really bad. only me and this other girl who cuts too knows about it. before i always could see how unhappy my best friend was but this time i couldnt really understand. nothing really drastic happened and she seemed to be doing a lot better in recent months. okay heres my dilema. she siad not to tell anyone and if i did she would know it was me and not talk to me again or at least be extremely pissed. and i know shes not lying no matter how much i mean to her. now i want to get her help but i dont know how. i dont know if she can be helped with the additude she has now.
so: do i speak up and if so who should i tell?
what would be the best help to get her?
please give me any ideas. im open to anything. and dont waste youre time if youre going to be an ignorant a** like some people on this thing.
(link)
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I think the first you should do is talk to her. I used to cut and can get addicting even if nothing's wrong she might cut just because it gives her a rush. She needs to get proffesional help she could really hurt herself if she cuts herself deep enough. She will probably say that she knows what she's doing and that she wouldn't make that mistake but it happens all the time. She could end up in the hospital and get very sick if she cuts herself too deep or isn't careful about what she cuts herself with. YOu need to tell someone. She may not talk to you but you need to get her some help. You have to ask yourself what's more important your friends health and possibly life or your friendship. I know that you care about your friend and you want to do what's best for her and getting her help is the best thing for her. You need to talk to your parents or a school counselor tell her that you are really worried about her and you want to get her some proffesional help. When I was cutting it got really bad my friends got me some help and at first I wanted nothing to do with it finally they sent me to a shrink who really helped me. At first I was pissed at my friend for telling someone but once I got some help and I straightened things out I realized that she did the right thing and I'm so glad that she did get me help. YOu need to do this for your friend. If it is really a problem for her then she needs help. Cutting is not helping and can be extremely dangerous. Talk to your parents, or the school and get your friend some proffesional help before she really hurts herself.
Good luck and I hope things work out
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hi my mom has cancer, and i have told my friends but only reluctantly about it and this was a while ago. I only didnt want to tell them because i didnt want for them to feel sorry for me. i dont need that. I was so sad when she first told my family. I havent cried since excpet when she accidently made me read an article about cancer and it was all about bad stories and unhappy endings, not what i needed to hear. my parents havent ever tried to talk to me about it but i am not the kind of person to talk openly. I try to keep it off my mind and think about what i can do, and try to be helpful. what i can basically. but at a sleepover my friends talked to me about this and they sort of emplied that i wasnt as concerned and sad as i should be. do you think I am handling this well? what do you think i should do? please dont give me something like, just talk to your friends, thanks that'd be great! (link)
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First your friends don't know what you're going through or how you're dealing with it and until they do they can't understand so it wouldn't do much to talk to them anways. I was the exact same way when my uncle got cancer. He was like a father figure to me so it was really hard. Like you I tried to keep my mind off of it and do whatever I could to help. I don't like to talk about my feelings so I chose not to. I thought that was the best way to handle it. What you are doing is ok you don't have to talk about your feelings unless you want to. But if you want to then talk to your parents, a close friend, or maybe even just your mom if you think it will help you. Also don't be worried about crying. It's a good way to let things out. If you don't want people to know that you've been crying then that's fine go up in your room and just cry and cry until it's out of your system. It will make you feel a little better. I can tell that you obviously love your mother and that you don't want anything to happen to her. And I'm sure that she knows it too. That's what's important not what your friends think about it.
Good luck and I hope things get better for you and your mom.
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a girl at my school has been going through a very tough time lately. her dad left 3 weeks ago and she just found out that she might be pragnant. this would be much easier if she WASN'T 13!!! but she is and we are best friends. im the only one that knows about the pregnant thing. what do i tell her i rate high for a real answer
thanx (link)
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You need to tell her an show her that you are there for her. She is probably having so many mixed emotions and feelings and wondering what she should do or whe she did. I used to have problems with my father and I would always wonder what I did. She obviously knows that she can trust you and that you are there for her becasue you are the only one that she has confided in about being pregnant. Because she is only 13 I suggest that she has the baby and gives it up for adoption unless her mother is willing and able to help her with it. Your friend needs you right now to support and listen to her no matter what she decides or what she says. You just need to reasure her and let her know what you think. She also needs to tell her mother about her pregnancy. She will be able to help her more than you can. She may be scared to do that but it's important that she does. She will need your support in that too. Just make sure that you are there for her and she knows that.
Good luck and I hope things work out with your friend
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