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I'm so confused!
My name is Kayla and I live in Houston, Texas. O.K, I have known this guy for about three years. He is a total gentleman. By the way, I'm 13 and so is he. We were born on the same day. He has some sort of autism that causes him to act younger. People at school don't respect him. He has crushed on me ever since fifth grade and now, we're in seventh and he still has this crush. He has asked me out several times and I JUST DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO NOT HURT HIS FEELINGS. He likes that "Pokemon" show on WB kids and he's obsessed with "Yugi-oh" and he's just... weird. He's really sweet though. His mom just passed away on Friday the thirteenth and he's really depressed. I called his mom Aunt Paula and he called my mom Aunt Leanne. I love him and all... but not the way he loves me. He's more like... my cousin/brother. Not a boyfriend. I told him I would LOVE to be his friend but I'm not ready for this kind of relationship. A long time ago, he told me he had a dream about me. I asked him what it was about. He got all shy and red in the face and he smiled, showing his braces. Then, I said "O.K, you tell my sister and my sister will tell me." my sister was only 9 at the time. He whispered it in her ear and ran away. My sister Brittany told me and he said his dream about me... naked... making out with him. So, I stopped talking to him for a while because he said he would make a move on me. I was really scared to be alone with him. A few months later, he told me he stopped having those dreams and he was sorry that it scared me so I forgave him and we were friends again. He asked me out again and I told him "No. I only like you as a friend." and he started CRYING!!! He's like a cousin to me but not like that. I really don't know what to say. I rate good answers and will email anybody who wants me to. Please help me!
~~~Luv, Kayla
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
It's nice of you to take his feelings into consideration, especially when you know he has a disability that affects how he interacts with people.
Besides making it clear that you do NOT want to get romantically close to this boy, which I'm sure you're trying hard to do, I'd tell you to try to not let his crying or bad feelings about this affect you so much. He'll have to learn to deal with that you don't want to be with him. Don't try to be close to him or help him with that right now, it'll just makeit seem that you might like him.
Also, I would not be alone with him at this time, as you said it makes you uncomfortable. Listen to that. If he continues to persue you, and make you feel uncomfortable, perhaps you should tell your mother or a trusted adult. You wouldn't need to give her details about exactly how he was making you uncomfortable, but she may be able to help you better avoid him, or help you if he starts to get more out of control with how he acts around you.
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You need to tell him that you see him as just a brother. If he cries just let him. He has to learn not to bother people when they say no or he will get in trouble one of these days. :)
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I think you should email him or write him a letter. Writing him a letter could be good because it will give him something to read and take his mind off what's going on with him at the moment ie:his mum. You should let him know that you are there for him as a friend if he needs someone to talk to about his problems. Tell him you are so flattered that he likes you more than a friend but you are just not ready for a relationship now, not with him or anyone else. This will make him feel better as he'll think that it's not just because you don't want to go out with him. Hope this helps a little, let me know if I can help with anything else x
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Dang i know almost ecally what its like well this guy has liked me for along time now too and his parents got divorced and i think or what i relize now is that when that happend he just really needed someone to talk to and be friends with and like your guy his mom just died and he needs someone to talk to someone to love i guess you could put it that way and about him asking you out thats just he thinks your pretty he really likes you as a friend too and he wants to be your boyfriend so that he knows someones there to love him if you kind of know what i mean. When he ask you out and you say no over and over again i get that part same thing happend here to and evtully he got over me and now where just friends so maybe you should just talk to him and tell me like how this works out what ever u can email me at legallybrunette@bellsouth.net or aim me at pinknprettychick if you want to talk about it more. hope i helped
Sarah
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wow. we have the same kind of guy at our school. but he is really kinda cool. try just hanging with him but dont lead him on. and when he asks you out again just say that you don't wat to hurt his feelings or anything but you just want to be friends and hang out with him. may be he'll understand
LiiLo
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It seems like you are really nice to this kid and that's a really good thing, kids like that need people to be their friends. When he has asked you out you have the done thing you weren't mean about it you were honest and that's the best way to deal with things. I'm sorry to say this but your kindness has put you in this situation. It sounds like he just found someone to be his friend and now he's getting obsessive. You have done nothing wrong keep that in mind. Try making it clear that you like being his friend and that he's like a brother to you but you just don't want to be in a relationship with him. I think that the more that gets pushed in his head the more he'll believe it and soon he'll be grateful just for your friendship. He will probably cry and get upset again just comfort him make sure he knows that you do value his friendship. That is really all you can do.
Good luck and I'm sorry that I couldn't be more help
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well you need to make your message more clear. To him it probubly sounds like you arnt sure if you say "I dont know, i just want to be friends." Tell it to him streight but dont be to mean just to the extent to where he gets the point. Say somthing like, " I said no, and i mean it! you need to back off." sorry so short hope i helped.
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