Hey everyone, I'm Odette, and I just like to give everyone my own unique point in life.
I was just so chock-full of things to say and stories to tell, I decided the best place to share them with all of you was right here on my advice page. So go ahead, ask me a question, and rest assured that it will be answered promptly. Luv ya, Odette
Gender: Female
Location: Somewhere Over the Rainbow :-)
Member Since: April 17, 2005
Answers: 123
Last Update: March 31, 2008
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I'm going to be out of state this friday for a while, and there's this guy I really like that I want to ask him out before that....
what/how should I ask him? (link)
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Just ask him to go to the mall with you, or to come over your house sometime, so he takes it casually and you guys can hang out for a bit before you ask him to go somewhere more date-like, like a dinner or a movie. That way you will already be comfortable around each other and you'll have a good time.
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last year. i had like a big group of friends. and now this year. it feels likes they dont think about me as much. like im just sorta there then like theyre best friend or just friend. my best guys friends are all of a sudden BEST friends with my BEST girlfriends and its like okayy what about me. every1 has a bst friend now and its like i dont. i dont want to be the center of theyre world but i mean i dont want to be invisable either (link)
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I felt exactly the same way, and this seems like a question that I can see myself asking. Basically, I felt like a third wheel with my friends, like they didn't need me with them to have fun, and that they'd rather not be with me. Instead of getting upset, I went around and made some new friends that i have a lot of fun with and that treat me really like a best friend! I still have my old friends, and now that I don't try to hang out with them 24/7, they are more willing to hang out with me.
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ive got a frend and hes all like im rich im getting this and that but he lives in the same type of house as me hes got a different and cheaper car than mine he says he has original art worth £20,000 and he has but its no one famous and if you sell some art for £20,000 a go and you sell 4 you become famous huh hes really annoying wht do i do (link)
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First, try not to tell him that he is wrong and that he has no fancy cars and you live in the same kind of house as him, because you're just fueling him to pretend even more. I would just laugh his comments off like "You're getting an IPod? Of course you are....." and be sarcastic about it. If he persists with the comments, he might just be insecure about his friendship with you.....he might think that he needs to prove himself to make you accept him. I would tell him that you pick friends on character, not how much stuff they have.
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ok like if your popular and every1 thinks ur a snob how do you get people to stop hating you!?!?! thanxxx (link)
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The best thing to do is just to go and make friends with some people who don't hang out with you. Spread youself out. Sometimes just because you're popular, people don't like you because they don't like one of your friends. Go and sit at a different lunch table than you normally do, or talk to someone who you normally don't talk to. If you are extremely nice to everyone and you talk to people by initiating the conversation, then people will realize that you aren't a snob, but a really nice person.
:-)
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my friend said i was kinda a loser and i follow her and her friend. When i never see them until lunch!im hurt,really bad by this.Ok this is were it gets complicated,we'll call my friend [[that is a girl]] K,the other girl B,and the boy we'll call him R. Well,R is my ex and he said that my friend [B] said i was a loser and follows her other friend. K is like "aww i feel so bad" but the thing is,when i check the time on aim K has the same time as R,ex [[R & K's online time is the same each time]] so K probably is pretending to be R,and make up a lie because she dosent want me to be friends with B.But i only see B and B's friend at lunch,and we laugh and have good times. So i dont no who to believe!! And if B really did say that,how can i make it so i dont follow people?and im just a mess over this!!!
--lost and sad :( (link)
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If it's the same each time, then I can almost guarantee that K is pretending to be R. Sometimes I think that K feels jealous that you are friends with B also, and she wants B all to herself. Of course, she's being dishonest and underhanded to pretend to be your ex to get you to stop being friends with B. Trust me: If B thinks you follow her, she'd tell you. If B was really your friend, and if you consider K a friend, then they both would never tell you that you follow them unless they don't like you. If they tell you that, then you need to find some kind, nice friends who really care about you.
:-)
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Ok, so lets call the girl Alicia....
Alicia was getting on my nerves alot. I felt like she thought she was better than be and was ignoring me so I decided to take action. I really regret this now, but I decided to take action. I wrote a mean e*mail to her saying how she was ignoring me and how she didnt match sometimes. There were no curse words and no name-calling, but she got really mad at me. She printed out the email and showed to atleast 10 of my friends. Some people turned against me calling me mean, which was true! I said sorry by leaving e*mails and messages and I even made this card by cutting out letters and pictures from magazines for her but from gossip, i heard she doesnt want to be my friend at all. I miss her alot, and I try my best to be nice and all, but I really wish I didnt send they e*mail. What should I do to try to be her friend again but not seem too clingy and obsessed? Please help.
(link)
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The way to get Alicia back is to apologize to her and tell her exactly what you said in this question-"I miss you a lot, and I try my best to be nice and all, but I really wish I didnt send they e*mail. Will you please forgive me?" This is straight from the heart and sincere, and if she doesn't accept that then you can't do anything about it. I'm sure that your other friends will still be there and they will stand up for you no matter what.
:-)
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My two friends are in an argument over a dress. I know it's stupid, but it just needs to end.
My friend went to the mall on Friday night and got a dress. Then on Sunday, my other friend went and got the same exact dress, only she didn't know the first one had already gotten it. We feel that whoever got the dress first should have it. That's the way our grup of friends has always agreed on these things. The friend who got the dress second went back to the mall and returned it- but got the same dress in a different color. Now they're arguing over it, and who should rightfully have it. I believe the two of them should either suck it up and deal with it, or both just get a new dress and not even worry about this anymore. Any input? (link)
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You're absolutely right. Go tell both of them that they're being silly, and the dress looks horrendous anyways. (Even if the dress is stunnningly pretty, they'd feel better if you told them it was a stupid looking dress- just don't tell them they look stupid in it!) Go help both of them shop together so that they can pick out a nice new dress for both of them- without having another mishap.
Good Luck:-)
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SORRY THAT IT'S LONG
Today my friend and I were sitting together in the gym and we were getting in our groups for our graduation trip. We promised each other we'd stay in the group together - just us, we actually even needed 2 more people in the group -since about three months ago. Well, we wanted to be in a group with 3 other girls, but you were only allowed four per group, but they made an acception of five if you really had to. My friend and I asked if we could room with them- they said no - two of the three girls like me.
About 5 minutes later.. she gets called over by them. I'm sitting there by myself talking to other people and she "sends a message down" saying that she's gonna stay in their group. Luckily, I found another friend to room with.
Do I have the right to be pretty ticked off, and if she apologizes or not, should I say it was rude? (link)
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You do have the right to get ticked off, because this girl was with you, then ditched you for her other friends. You don't need to tell her that you thought it was rude- just treat her normally. If she apologizes, forgive her and be kind to her. This has happened to me before, where one friend leaves me hanging to go hang out with other people, and it really hurts my feelings. If you feel really upset about it, go ahead and tell her. If she really is your friend, she would apologize to you. If she acts defensive, she may just be upset and guilty. So yes, you have the right to get ticked off, and just treat her normally.
Good luck:-)
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(15/F) I have two best friends, and I'm either with one or the other. I don't have any other 'good friends' in school. Everyone is already settled with their own group of friends and I feel so alone when I'm not with my best friends. I think girls view me as a snob though, because I do have more guy friends and honestly I'm attractive. How do I get more friends and find people my age that I have stuff in common with? I don't want to come off as desperate or dorky but I do need more girl friends to hang out with. (link)
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The best thing to do is just go up to someone who you'd like to be friends with, smile and say hi to them, and start a conversation. In my school, I used to think that this girl that I saw hanging out with some of the popular kids and the jocks was snobby just because she hung out with them. During my music lesson, I decided to talk to her, and discovered that she is an extremely kind, sweet, and nice person. You won't come off as desperate or dorky at all; just go up to them and say hi. If they are snobbish enough to refuse to talk to you because they won't change their image of you in their minds, then they are not worth it at all.
Good luck:-)
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My friend lets call her Ashleigh well Ashleigh always is assuming she is fat.. and she is gunna dye.. she is never thinking positive.. she is always thinking negative things about her self.. i really want to help her control her self.. she told me it's mostly b.c of her dad and brother..
her dad has cancer and doesn`nt have much time to live mayb 2 more years..hopefully god will help him and her brother just got released from jail.. and i feel bad for her..if you know ANY way for me to help her please tell me i will rate high if thats what you want
Meli (link)
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Your friend is almost definitely suffering from either depression or an eating disorder, or possibly both. She feels that everything in her life is out of control, and the only thing she can control is how much she eats, or what she feels on the inside. I think for your friend's own need you need to tell a responsible teacher or the guidance councilor at your school, or if you want larger help I would ask your parents to contact someone who can truly help Ashleigh through this. Good luck, and I really hope "Ashleigh" feels a lot better.
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thanks for the advice but heres the thing. you just made me realize i am kinda a hipocrite or however u spell it. because yeah i feel left out but i am not gonna even try to say anything cause ive seen my other friends try to tell them that and they go oh my god ur so gay and get mad...and when one of my friends got left out i kinda did the same thing.. i hope that doesnt make me a bad friend? but i cant help it..wow i feel terrible not but someitmes i try to leave my other friends out cause they can get reallly annoying and i bet i get annoying to my friends and its just a whole big circle.. Please HELP!!! (link)
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I understand that you're going through a lot of peer pressure to act the same way as these friends. No, I don't think you're a bad friend: You're just under a lot of pressure to be flippant and mean to the girls who try to get included. If these 'friends' are treating you this way, I think you need to get some better friends who don't pressure you into acting this way and don't make you feel awful and left out. I'm sure that you can do it. I've been in situations when my friends seem a little annoying to me too, and it makes me want to exclude them sometimes, but you need to remember: these are the people you turn to when you're down, the people who cheer you up, the people who really care about you. If they don't treat you that way, you need new friends.
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Im 13, and im in 8th grade. Theres this girl, her name is Ashley. She is VERY annoying and she constantly follows me and thinks im her best friend. Shes not my best friend! I have 3 best friends and she is tearing us apart becasuse whenever I leave her for them, she gets mad, and I can't even talk to them without her there! I don't know how to get rid of her because I really want me and my best friends to hang out again without her! I know it's mean but I dont have a choice and shes very geeky and nobody really likes her! Please don't tell me to tell her to go away because everyone is telling me to do that and I don't have the heart to. What should I do?
~Kylie~ (link)
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I understand what you're going through, but I think that you need to step into her shoes. If she feels like it's necessary to pretend that she's your best friend and follow you around, then she's probably feeling insecure because so many people don't like her or think she's 'geeky.' I understand completely that her following you around is driving you crazy. If I were you I'd talk to her gently and calmly about this, and ask her to come over your house, or do something together. Maybe the reason she feels the need to follow you around is because she feels insecure in the fact that you two are friends. If you prove to her that you're friends, and you have other friends too that you need to hang out with, she should understand if she really believes that she's your friend. If she doesn't back off a little bit after this, I would start ignoring her a little bit. That should send the message that you feel a bit annoyed by her presence with your friends, and she should back off.
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ok so i have this friend and she went to this one school untill the end of 6th grade and then she moved to my school and she is my friend now (im in 8th grade now) and so we went to the track meet and i met some of her friends from her old school and so i talked to them and then when i got home i taked to them on the internet and asked them who they thought was hotter and they said that i was and so when i went to school the next day she wanted to know what they said about who was hotter and i told her that they said that i was hotter then she was and so was like no seriously what did they say and i told her that they said that i was hotter and she goes stop lying and i was like im not lying b/c that is what they said and she was like no tell me and i said it again and she was like oh well then they must have just said that to make you feel better about yourself and i was like no b/c i talked to them on the phone too and she was like im sure that they were just making me feel better and they thought that i was hotter and my friend (lets call her Lee) well lee isnt that pretty she weighs more then me and her hair is all frizy and i am 5-2 1/2 and weigh 105 and my hair isnt frizzy oh and she has acne too and i dont ppl keep telling me that i am prettier then her and her boyfriend told me that too so i dono y she would say that they were lying to me and i am a teen runway model can someone tell me whats wrong with her? i rate 5's for good and not stupid answer
Wow (link)
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First of all, I think it was a little bit harsh to start asking these questions to her friends. This is almost like betrayal for her: She feels as though they are judging her in all manners, not just by her looks. Also, you seem to be doing the same thing- I understand the fact that you are prettier than she is on the outside, but remember that when you talk about things like "hotness" it's starting to become personal and it's making her feel self-concious about her appearance. I think the only thing that's wrong with her is that she feels really hurt right now, and she wants to turn to her friends but she feels like she can't because they're judging her by her appearance. If I were you, I would go tell her that it's not appearance that matters, but what's inside, and that you are sorry for what you said. That should solve everything. Good luck.
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I have a "friend" that is sort of mean to my other friends. She excludes them and is very posesive of me. She gets angry when me and my 2 other friends do things together, without her. My other friends basically hate her, but i don't want to break the friendship off because i don't want to make an enemy. I hat being stuck in the middle!!!
~Stuck (link)
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This "friend" probably is acting this way because she feels left out and sad. You need to go and have a talk with her about why she's acting this way and why she is being so possessive of you. This way you can figure out the problem and help her solve it, and maybe the four of you can become great friends.
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If it matters, I'm seventeen, and a girl.
Okay, so I've been really close with this friend of mine for about two years. Then all of a sudden, she decided she was too good for me. She dwells in every issue she has until she makes herself depressed. She's getting all "emo", for another thing, and pushing EVERYONE away, except our mutual friend, who happens to be a guy.
Now, she even admitted to him that she had a crush on him for awhile, but she "got over it". Somehow, I don't think she did. We're in a choral group and she always manages to position herself next to him, which bothers me - not because I like him - because I'm used to hearing his part in my ear. I'm used to listening to him. We always used to practice together for concerts, we sit next to each other in choir because we blend, and all that.
Anyway, so the main issue I have is, what do I say to her, if anything? She suddenly decided she was too good for everyone except one guy - oh, and her "college friends" which are her only "real" friends. Most of my friends are in college, and I still don't act like that.
I almost want to confront her about her pompous attitude, and about her supposed crush on our friend, but it would make everything awkward, I know.
What would you all do in this situation? I'm just curious.
I rate ones for stupidity and fours for bad grammar and spelling. =)
Thank ya for your opinions. (link)
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What I think you need to do is reach into yourself first and make sure that you really don't like this guy. Somehow I'm getting the vibe that you do feel something for him, just a little bit, and you're feeling a bit awkward now that someone that you know likes him.
If you don't like him, then I think you need to have a conversation with him about this girl, and if you two need to intervene. Personally, I would go right ahead and kindly and supportively talk to her, because there may be something else that's triggering this change in your friend that she might need to talk about.
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One of my best friends has been dateing this guy for a year. we are both 14. well i have always thought this guy wasnt good for her, i mean he has kicked her, black mailed her, and even sent threats. the threats were jokes, but they wee serious at the time. like there was one rape one. well lately she has been ignoring me for him. it is true that he hasnt been so bad lately and it seems like her does love her, but i still cant take it. it doesnt seem fair that i have always TRIED to be with her, and he hasnt and she takes the side of him. what should i do? should i tell her? should i just let it slide? (link)
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If he actually has been treating your friend this badly, you need to intervene. She is your best friend, and you need to talk to her and tell her that you think this guy isn't right and is being cruel to her. Make sure that you are very kind and supporting to your friend, because she may not be ready to give up her feelings for him yet.
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Like any other annoying question...here it goes..
There's this guy..Scott..wow what a hottie..I've liked him since forever..7th grade..he gave me my first kiss..It wasn't even a kiss..more like a makeout session..but hey, that's even better! ..Turns out, I was just a stupid bet he won against the other guys..He said he was sorry..I accepted..we went out...broke up..went out, broke up..All this time while we broke up, I still had feelings for him...He said he still liked me, too...A couple of months ago, we went out..and this time, my feelings were even stronger..It felt like love..(I'm in 9th grade now) but he broke up with me because he said we weren't spending enough time together and that we were just "friends with benefits" I still like him..I really do. I am jealous when I know he's hanging out with other girls..I become depressed. I don't know what to do though...I live so far away from him and we don't even go to the same school...What do i do? (link)
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In the beginning, you forgave him, and you seem like you never were together for a long period of time. I think what you need to do is try to find someone else that can fill his place. He isn't treating you very well, and you deserve better. I'm sure a nice girl like you can find someone that you have feelings for. Good luck!
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okay. well i have been best friends with the same three people for 4 years now and we do everything together and i love them to death but now they have new friends and they will talk about plans right in my face and not invite me and so i do other things with my other friends but i cant help but get jelous. its like sometimes i dont want them to be happy unless there with me. I hate feeling this way. I hate being jelous, but i cant help it. Things have changed and i cant take it. I try to take my mind off it and do other things but none of my other friends are as close as they are. i cant just give up on out friendship. How do i stop the jelousy? and Should i tell them how i feel? cause they would probbaly laugh and get mad at me...
sincerely,
Sojelous (link)
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Don't worry, you're not alone. I have been in this situation before, and the worst thing that you can do is pretend it doesn't bother you. Just tell your friends straight up that you're feeling a little bit left out, and that you'd really like to be friends with their friends too, or that you'd like to make sure that you'll always be best friends. If they are purposefully excluding you, then you need to find some friends that will treat you better than the ones that you have. I'm sure that you can do it.
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