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hello :)my name is amanda.
i love to give advice, so drop one in my inbox and i'll get back to you right away.
advice
hey! ok i have a friend and i guess she was just using me to get next to a guy she likes . the guy she likes is my friend and everytime i used to tell her he called me and things like that she would be calling me everyday. now that they aint together anymore she doesnt even bothers calling me..is not only that, is that a big problem happened...so i guess she hardly talks to me because of that big problem..but what bothers me is that in school she is all nice to me and is always looking for me but once she is out of school "pufff" she dissaperas..not even thru myspace she talks to me..it just pisses me off..and her cusin died and i was the one that was mostly there for her and she says am the only one that gives her good advices but now i dont even feel like talking to her..i think she is so fake towards me :( can you please help me. am sorry if this is too long . i just need some help on how to act with her.
It's hard when you feel like you've been being a great friend and the other person doesn't seem to appreciate it. If she was just using you to get to a guy then she really isn't worth it anyway.
Maybe she has been going through some things and has withdrawn from talking to you because she just doesn't want to deal with it (since she went to you after her cousin died). And maybe she is just mad because of "the big problem" and so that's why she isn't talking to you.
You could try to just keep being a good friend towards her; talking to her about her problems, being there for her etc. If she doesn't want to accept it, then you could simply stop talking to her, just as she is doing to you. She might eventually come back to you and start talking to you again.
You could also tell her how she's making you feel and try to help solve "the big problem". You could explain to her how she is making you angry since she never talks to you anymore.
Hope I helped :)
My best friend is in some sort of a self-esteem rut or something. He and I are both 17/M. He used to be a 24/7 cheery and funny guy, but ever since he started thinking about getting a girlfriend, he's gotten to be more and more depressing. I tried to help him out, you, know, pushed him to ask out girls he likes, but he would always just say something like "She'll say no. Even if she says yes, I'd be a terrible boyfriend."
Now, I'm seeing less and less of him because he's spending more and more time locked up in his room, being depressed. It sucks! I want my friend back and I want the guy to be happy. What do I do?
i think you need to sit down and talk to him about it more. there's gotta be another reason why he's feeling depressed. did he just get out of a bad relationship? since youre best friends, you have to let him know that you care about him and that him not acting like himself really bothers you. try going somewhere together, like to the mall or the movies with a group of friends. also try setting him up with another girl. when he knows he has your support, then he'll be more likely to get out of this rut he's been in.
hope i helped :]
16/f
this is gonna be a long one, but please take the time to read it...
my best friend.. well we were best friends for as long as i can remember. she was the one i always went to, the only one who really had my complete trust. for some reason, this school year weve grown apart. we barely say more than two words to eachother in a day anymore. although we only have one class together, thats not it cause last year we had no clases together. we used to do everything together, and i miss her and the rest of her family. were so different from each other but that never seemed to be a problem until this year. we have different friends now, and another girl came into the picture whos basically replaced me. weve both changed but that doesnt mean we cant be friends. i have other friends and ive grown apart from many of my old ones too, but i cant stand to let myself just throw away a friendship that lasted over 10 years.. the thing is we tried to work things out since both of us know things arent the same anymore. this was about half way through the school year, we said we'd hang out and talk more again but it never happened. we basically spilled everything out so it wasnt just a pointless talk we had, we made it clear that both of us missed the other. i dont know why it didnt work. i kind of blocked the whole thing out of my mind until last night when i read a note she wrote to me when we tried to fix things. the first line says "i dont know what i did for you to not like me as a friend anymore, but im sorry." i read that line, which the first time i read had no effect on me, but this time i broke down. cause thats the thing, she did nothing and neither did i. it just happened and i hate it, i want to fix things for real. summer is coming up and if we dont figure things out soon maybe we never will.
i would be thankful for any advice whatsoever.. i need it.
i realize that you are missing your friend. and she is probably really, really missing you too. since you both feel the same way about the friendship, you need to take time to fix it. just saying you are going to fix it doesnt mean it will happen. i know this from experience. i was best friends with this girl for three years, and this year we both changed and just grew apart. it hurt alot and i would never want anyone to go through what i did. so you guys need to get together (probably somewhere like your house or her house, and somewhere quiet where you guys can talk privately.) and just talk it out. you both value the friendship and would not want it to fade away. you have to both make the effort to make time for eachother and hang out together to get the friendship going again. try to do things together that you guys used to do when you were better friends. you may discover that its like nothing ever changed. or you may discover that it seems that its just too little too late. if thats the case, just try to take it one day at a time and know that things can only get better. but i really hope everything works out and tell me how it goes, okk?? good luck!! =DD
15/f
I used to be best friends with this one girl (morgan). We were like sisters, inseperable. But then she got all snotty and i didn't like her attitude. So i just ignored her and eventually we stopped talking. (I never told her "I dont want to be friends with you) Now, we sometimes see each other and she says Hi to me and i dont want to be rude so I say Hi back. Occasionally we have small talk like "hows it going? whats new in your life?" but nothing big.
Now i'm starting to remember all of the good times we had together and how much different my life is since she is no longer a part of my friendship. I really miss her being around me! I'm starting to consider being friends with her again. I have her cell phone number so i've been texting her more than usual lately and we are sorta becoming friends again.
But now here's the problem (actually 2 problems)
1. my other best friend (sarah) dislikes this girl (morgan). But sarah has some friends that I dont like either so i'm thinking to myself "if she can have friends that i don't like, why can't i have friends she won't like?" so is this a good idea or what?
2. my parents got worried when i told them that morgan and i don't talk that much. They are always asking me why we arn't friends anymore and I tell them that its her attitude that bugs me. But now that we are sorta talking again, I don't know what I should say to my parents. I don't want to be all like "oh ya, morgan and I are best friends again" and they'll be like "why's that?" and i don 't want to explain to them that i missed her. what should i do?
thank you for taking your time to read this and answering!
well, maybe morgan has changed. people do change, sometimes for the good, sometimes for the worse. it looks to me like she had changed somewhere in your friendship when she became really snobby. but she may have had a change of heart. maybe she missed the friendship too. it wouldn't neccarily be a bad idea to give the friendship a second chance. even though your other friend dosen't like her, i don't think it's fair that she gets to have friends that you don't like but you cant. you have to ask her this question, and tell her that maybe you'd like to be friends with morgan again, and you need to let her know she has to accept that. also for your parents, just tell them that you two have just started talking again.
i hope this answers your question =]]
okay.
so me and this boy cody used to be really good friends.
and he started liking this girl amy...
and i always helped him out with "girl trouble"
and so i told him what he should do.
then finally he asked her out.
and i didnt know it but she HATES me to death.
and i have no clue why.
but then he randomly starts hating me too.
he calls me all sorts of names now.
and he deleted me off his myspace.
so whats up with that?
help..?
please. "/
you know, sometimes people hate just because they can. there are always going to be people who hate others for no reason at all, it just happens. this girl amy probably influenced cody's opinion about you. deep down, he doesn't hate you. but relationships can influence people to do stupid things, like hate someone just because their bf/gf hates them. it's just something that people do to keep the relationship. eventually though, this whole thing will end, and they'll break up, and you'll find you two talking and hanging out again. this won't last forever, i promise =]
hope it helps =]]]]]
i have moved a lot. i want to send my old friends something so i can keep in touch with them. what do you think i should do? would cards be fine? (i dont have much money to spend, but lots of friends). any ideas?
well i think it would be a good idea if you put together a photo album or a scrapbook of all the pictures you have with them. they'll get to see all the effort you put into it and they'll appreciate it alot because it'll be really cute and heartfelt. i hope i helped =]]]
like i was saying before i carved my friend name into my arm because i used to cut i stop two days ago but she got me introbule which it help me and i try to talk to her but she wont even text back and everytime i see her in school it hurts because i was so close to her i still am so what should i do to to get our friendship backs oh yeah her friends think i stalk her so her friends dont really help me out
ok so i had given you advice before about you and your friend. it's good that you want to get her back because it shows you really care about her. look, you need to try and get her alone. try and talk to her at school. do anything. she was your really good friend and she really helped you. you even said that. so it really shows how much you both really care about each other. i think that she will probably need some time if she doesn't reaspond right away. but still try. try texting her more. or i would say leave her a really heartfelt voicemail. tell her why you reacted the way you did, what you felt, and what you feel now. tell her that you've stopped cutting and that you realize now that she actually really helped you. you need to deeply, truly apoligize and tell her that you know now that she did the right thing to help you.
i really hope that everything turns out ok. just know that you can come to me for advice about stuff like this anytime. tell me how it goes =]
16/f
theres this guy. hes my new friend. he likes me though. and i dont feel that way about him anymore. i liked him for a few days, but not anymore. anyways, he asked me out and i told him no because my best friend likes him. but now he keeps texting me every night and calling me and asking me to hang out. hes nice, but hes SO ANNOYING. my other guy friends stopped being friends with him because he is just so freaking annoying. i cant stand it anymore. i mean i guess i can be like that sometimes when i like a guy, but usually he likes me back and he doesnt mind that we talk so much. (not to sound cocky or anything, and i also like make sure the guy like texts me first sometimes and stuff like that, i like it when the guy makes the first move to talk). but anyways i never text this guy first and he is so annoying. im like flattered when he calls me pretty and tells me how much he likes me. but i already told him it cant work out. i didnt really tell him i didnt like him though. i just told him my friend liked him. i dont want to hurt his feelings. what should i do?
i think that the best thing to do is just let him down gently. don't totally crush him or you'll really break his heart. tell him that you feel more comfortable being just friends, and let the relationship just stay that way. but if he doesn't leave you alone, you might just have to stop hanging out with him. you can still talk to him, just try to keep a distance.
i really hope it works out =]]
my name is brandon i used to be emo i carved my friend name in my arm but before i did that she said it would be kool but then she saw it and i asked her not to tell anybody and she did and i got introbule and i hate her now i mean she was my best friend and she betrayed me so should i give up on our friendship or wat
i don't think that you should give up on the friendship. she wasn't trying to lie to you or betray you. she was probably really, really worried about you. cutting is scary for people who have never done it before. so before you did it she was probably like, "cool, yeah it's no big deal" and when she saw it she was probably thinking "oh my god, i wonder how bad it really was..." and she started to get really worried. even though it got you into trouble, it did get you help, right?? your friend put you and your life before the friendship. so don't give up on it. your friend just really cares about you.
ok well i have this friend..and at the begging of the year we were really good friends and some howw we got into fites....and it all started when i said that her b.f was a player and she beilved him insted of me ..she got mad at me we didnt talk for months and then she called me up and said im soory...so i forgave her ( dont really ever forgive people when they backstab me) then the second time she siad that i did something on purpose..and i was like no i didnt..and it had to do with a guy...she thought i was trying to steal him but i wasnt..so aguan we got into a fight then she called and i forgave her...because i really loved her alot she was my good friend..but now agian somwthing happend about and lets just say it repapted and we werent talking and then agian i forgave and we beacme firneds....yea i know im pathetic..but now this is new she thinks i spread rumor about her..like really bad...rumor and hwn i didnt beacuse why wouold i so now we hate each other agian and today in the whole way she came up to me with her friends and asked if i said anything i was liek no and started to wlak away she grabbed me and grabbed her hang like le tme go you hore...and wlaked awya and she laughed and calle dme names..so i dont no what to do !! HELP!!!
It kinda seems like you guys are developing a pattern: she thinks you did something, she gets mad, she calls and apoligizes. and that just keeps repeating over and over again. i don't think thats a good situation for you to be in. it seems like you've been really hurt by this, and even though she is a good friend, you have to ask yourself if she will keep repeating it and if she is really worth it. it would probably be a good idea to take a break. then slowly try to rebuild the friendship until you guys are back to normal. but this kind of thing keeps happening, you might want to let it go for good. just do what you think is best for you, and remember that a true friend probably wouldn't keep doing this to you.
hope i could help =]]]
a friend of mine has an eating disorder. its not anorexia or bulimia or anything like that. she eats, but very little. and when she gets stressed out it makes her stomach hurt. and then she makes herself throw up. i have yelled at her about it and stuff because shes lost over 20 pounds since christmas and its totally unhealthy. she claimes she is just fine, but i know thats total bullshit. i really respect our friendship, and i dont want to ruin it by telling someone who could help her. i know it could help her and would really pay off, but i've been in her position. not with eating, but i was cutting and told my so-called friend, and she told her parents and her parents called me parents and it was a mess. and i hated her for it. but i dont want my friend to keep up this bad habbit! shes not ok! its out of control! and she wont listen to me! but if i tell someone, i might lose her! what do i do?
well, you really have to think about it for a minute. your other friend told your parents about your cutting, right?? and after it, you hated her because you thought you could trust her, right?? well, maybe she was in the position you are in right now. she was your friend, and really wanted to help, but was scared to. now, even though you hated her for telling, did it help you in the long run? that's what you have to think about with your friend and her eating disorder. would you rather lose the friendship or lose your friend forever? if you are afraid of her finding out that you told, you can tell a school counselor and ask to remain anonymous. that way, you can get your friend the help she needs. and even if she does end up finding out, she'll appreciate it later. your friend has a problem, and she needs help to get it under control. do what you think is best. just don't wait until it's too late.
i hope this is helpful =]]]
i cant stand being with my bestfriend anymore we've been close for like 9years now, since forever but she totally pisses me off very so often! like i can never forgive her for throwing things in my face while we were younger, also! she always like the guy i like, last year i told her i like this guy, then she went after him! but he didn't like her, he said she was too weird and not his type, the whole school knows about it, and yeah we have some really good times, but others shes a complete total female dog! i can't stand her gusts! i let her stay at my house after school every day because she lives far away and her mom picks her up at like 8 or 9pm, then a few months ago she told me she can just come and go as she pleases, its her decision that she could stay or not at my house, she acts as if my house is her house and she can come and go as she pleases, i convinced my parents to let her stay, my parents said if it makes me happy, so shes here, but she thinks shes always right about everything, so when she started to go to my school she became worst of who she was! she took all my friends away from me, dyed her hair like 10times to get attentions from others, and she disses only about EVERY guy i like, its soo annoying, i cant tell her to just leave after 9 years, im so confussed, she lies to everyone about her, making everyone at my school like completely hate me and choose her over me, im hurt realy bad of what shes done, and she makes her mother more miserable then anyone, she threatens to kill her self of she doesnt get what she wants, my parents dont like her at all, since we were younger my parents dont like her because she was a bad influence, i got soo sick of my friends staying over for sleep overs and everything and say how great or wonder she is,...she came over once to my house over the weekends and totally liked like bestfriends with my friends, and laughed at me,...she thinks she knows everything about me, well shes wrong i hate her, but i dont wanna loose her, advice please?
well, i know how you're feeling right now because i had a friend that was the exact same way. she would always try to out-do me. we were best friends for like five years, and then all of a sudden she became so different. unfortunately, people change. i guess she feels like she has to always be better than you. she's trying to show others that she's better than you too. well, by what you've said, i can already tell you that she's not.she uses it all for attention, if she is being mean and putting you down all the time, that bullying and a real friend wouldn't treat you that way. as for the whole thing with stealing the guys that you like, she's trying to make it like a competition. and with dying her hair alot, she's just doing it for attention. when she's nice to everyone else but mean to you, she's trying to make them think that she's better than you. i'm sorry but a real friend wouldn't do that. yes, you said that there were some good times where you guys were just like best friends again, but the truth is, if you think about the bad times more than the good times, i don't think you should be her friend anymore. and even though you don't want to lose her as a friend, you have to think about it: is this really a good friendship?? does she really care about me or is she just trying to hurt me? there's no reason why you guys can't still talk and everything, but i don't think you should keep her as a close friend, and i don't think you should fully trust her either. instead, surround yourself with people who make you feel good, people you can trust, people who make you feel happy. you deserve so much better!! i really hope everything works out for you!! =]