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eating disorder
a friend of mine has an eating disorder. its not anorexia or bulimia or anything like that. she eats, but very little. and when she gets stressed out it makes her stomach hurt. and then she makes herself throw up. i have yelled at her about it and stuff because shes lost over 20 pounds since christmas and its totally unhealthy. she claimes she is just fine, but i know thats total bullshit. i really respect our friendship, and i dont want to ruin it by telling someone who could help her. i know it could help her and would really pay off, but i've been in her position. not with eating, but i was cutting and told my so-called friend, and she told her parents and her parents called me parents and it was a mess. and i hated her for it. but i dont want my friend to keep up this bad habbit! shes not ok! its out of control! and she wont listen to me! but if i tell someone, i might lose her! what do i do?
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Maybe give some free advice about: Friendship?
well, you really have to think about it for a minute. your other friend told your parents about your cutting, right?? and after it, you hated her because you thought you could trust her, right?? well, maybe she was in the position you are in right now. she was your friend, and really wanted to help, but was scared to. now, even though you hated her for telling, did it help you in the long run? that's what you have to think about with your friend and her eating disorder. would you rather lose the friendship or lose your friend forever? if you are afraid of her finding out that you told, you can tell a school counselor and ask to remain anonymous. that way, you can get your friend the help she needs. and even if she does end up finding out, she'll appreciate it later. your friend has a problem, and she needs help to get it under control. do what you think is best. just don't wait until it's too late.
i hope this is helpful =]]]
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Well it's between losing a friendship or losing a friend, which is worse in your opinion?
I have to say that having a friend die is worse than losing a friendship. Don't you agree?
You are going to have to tell someone. Presumably her parents or your parents. Just as your friend did about your cutting. Which is probably just as bad as an eating disoder and hopefully you have stopped. Once somebody knows they will get her some help. What she's doing is dangerous and could easily kill her. They will get her medical help and even though she will very likely be totally pissed with you, she will one day thank you, I promise.
So go with the chances of losing a friendship, not a friend.
Yes, this answer was short, but there's nothing else to say. It's short yet helpful and promising. Tell someone as soon as you can.
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If you've already spoken with her and she thinks she's fine, then she might not realize she has a problem.
Anorexics eat, too, but very little. Your best bet is to talk to someone (an adult) you know could get through to her. Her parents, a teacher she really likes, SOMEONE whose opinion will matter to her - not that yours doesn't, but your comments alone might not be strong enough to alert her to the problem at hand.
As I mentioned in a later question, I've been there. I was anorexic and it took my crush and my choir director to make me realize that something was seriously wrong. Then it took a LOT of willpower to fix it.
You may be concerned about her being mad at you, and she may be angry with you for telling someone her secret, but she needs to be jolted out of this. She could permanently damage her body, end up hospitalized, or dead, if this progresses any further. If I were in your shoes, I'd bear with her anger and hope that she realizes eventually that you were just trying to help her.
I would aim for a teacher she likes, rather than her parents. Or another adult she respects. You can ask them not to speak to her parents, but I don't guarantee that they'd agree to that.
You NEED to tell someone, though, especially if she's not listening to you.
Drop one in my inbox if you need more help.
Good luck.
_Siren =)
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If you don't tell someone, you might lose her. Only, it could be a permanent loss. If you tell someone and she gets help, she will eventually forgive you. Yeah, she'll be pissed for a while, but in the long run, it is for the better. Would you rather her be angry and healthy, or your friend who is slowly killing herself?
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