Just your average nice girl next door. Married the love of my life at 24, widowed at 29.
I love cats and sailing and get to the beach as often as I can.
Gender: Female
Age: 39
Member Since: January 7, 2005
Answers: 298
Last Update: July 17, 2006
Visitors: 23220
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My friend is really selfish. I mean, she's my best friend but she's so damn selfish. Like, when I go to her house, she eats stuff right in front of me. She never asks if I want anything. And she doesn't let me play her Nintendo DS. She's really spoiled too. It annoys me so much because she has all these things that my mom would never get me. And I want to play a freaking video game and she's so "NOOOO! PUT IT DOWN! I DON'T LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE PLAY MY GAMES!" It's like, shut the f up! I'm so tired of it. What should I do? (link)
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Dump her and find a new friend. for the love of God... most kids learn how to share when they are 2 years old. she's jealous and selfish and you don't need so-called friends like that.
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There's this girl,(lets call her B) who's been saying mean stuff about me on her blog, like how i'm annoying and blahblahblah. Some of our friends(we both know the same people)read her blog,and my crush knows her pretty well.I'm worried that B will tell my crush bad stuff about me,and he'll get a horrible first impression of me. Also, I don't want B to go around telling everyone how she finds me irritating etc. What should I do ?
thanks*
(link)
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Girls are brutal when it comes to being mean! And with the web it's possible to be even more cruel by actually putting in writing, mean things about you! If she truly identifies you and is posting untrue things that is defined as "harrassment" You should leave a comment that says, Your comments about me are untrue and by continuing to post them on a website constitutes harrassment, please cease and desist. That way the legality might scare her off a bit and if it does come down to that, you have acted respectfully and told her to stop. I hope it doesnt go any further... good luck
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i have this freind n well shes not pretty i no that mean but its true but anyways, this guy on myspace is like u r gorgeous you r hot n all this stuff n its a lie its this kid she met @ my freinds party n she doesnteven no him! she hasnt seen him since then n i dont want her to get hurt hes prob. just you no one of those dumb assses whos retarded. wat should i do? talk to her ab it? i juss dont want her 2 get hurt. (link)
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If you know that that are just messing with her, then tell her that they are all jerks and don't even know who they're talking to on IM. you don't want to hurt her feelings, but it's gonna hurt worse if she believes these guys and they are gonna be mean.
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I am over my ex, and I have fallen hard for another guy. We have been broken up for over 4 months, (we were together for almost 3 mons., and saw each other all the time at school+outside) but it doesn't feel like it has been that long ago since we have broken up. Even though I'm over him, is it normal to want to avoid watching him move on? I haven't started dating anyone yet so that may be one reason. Plus, it's not really the girl he has moved on with even though she is completely different from me. I just want to know if anyone has felt this way too, and how to deal with it. Why is it hard to watch him date someone else when I'm over him and I know I have no future with him (nor do I want to)? Plus the fact that I have fallen for someone else. 17/f (link)
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No matter what, you can't help how you feel on the inside. Even though you don't want him anymore, it can be human nature to not want him to be with anyone else either... not fair, but again you can't help how you feel on the inside. Try to avoid him completely until you can handle it. best wishes
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OK, so I have this friend Jassy. And she is making a huge mistake. She met a guy over the internet and started dating him. He, of course, lives on the other side of the country. And, being the idiot she has always been, is meeting with him over the summer. Now, if you are willing to travel 3,000 miles across country like he is, you are not 14 like he says he is.
Therefore, my friend, Jessica, and I are trying to convince her not to meet him. Jassy thinks she's safe and can trust him but she can't. Jessica felt the same about her neighbor and he molested her. Her neighbor is someone she's always known. Imagine what someone my friend doesn;t even know could do to her. Jassy keeps saying it can't happen to her. She's just being so ignorant!! What should I do? She can get extremely hurt. Sorry this is long, but my friend is putting herself in danger! (link)
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First of all... how can you be "dating" anyone over a computer screen? It's so easy to think someone is wonderful because they typed something meaningful to you. Most of the time the fabulous person on the other end is just some pervert/pedophile looking for sex with a child.
You need to show her the facts and statistics and horror stories about that kind of thing. Why else would a guy be interested in a kid 3000 miles away? Come On - Wake her UP!
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*****I RATE HIGH*****
Hello,
I am a 13 year old girl. I have a Best Friend of 8 years. I love her to death, but she gets mad at me for no reason sometimes. She'll get mad at me, and make me upset in the beginning of the day, and then will talk to other girls about me during the day, then the next morning will act like she didnt do anything to me. Although I am soo hurt inside, and I feel like crumbling up and dieing. She does this constantly. I always try to tell her how I feel about all this but she always yells at me and gets more angry at me. She doesn't know how to except my feelings. She always talks about herself too. Every word from her mouth is about HER HER HER! Everytime I bring something about me, and my life, she immediately changes the subject.
How can I fix this problem, without loosing one of my BEST FRIENDS?
from:
sam
(link)
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It's not a fixable problem. She's not one of your best friends - because a true best friend would never, ever, ever do that to you.
I know, because I had a friend exactly like that and I put up with it from age 12 to 29!! She always had to be in front, had dated every guy I ever dated in HS and would tell people stupid embarrassing stories about me, to make me look dumb and her look "cool."
Ultimately she is jealous of you and true friends aren't like that either! I know you think our ages are so different, but girls go through lots of the same issues. I finally said I didn't want to talk to her anymore... and closed that chapter. The thing that brought it to a complete finish? She was totally upset that SHE wasn't the center of attention at MY husbands funeral.
Lose this "friend" now or deal with it for another 10 years... the end result will be the same.
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Well I have this friend we have been really close for like 3 years now and we tried dating but it never worked out. Well this year he has a gf and it seems as though he really cares about her but then when he talks to me he tells me he loves me and he cares but he doesn't really show it. I miss our old friendship it was really fun before and I know I love him but it's hard when he has a gf and he talks about her but then talks to me like im the only one.I need help how i can get over him or just get him to understand that i dont want to hear anything about her. And I have tried talking . (link)
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He's a guy and after one thing.... he's got a gf, and flirts with you? Would you even want a bf that did that? I'd put money on it, that if you said ok, let's fool around and i'll never tell your gf, he'd do it in a second.
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Alright, so I have this friend. Let's call her Diana. Whenever I tell Diana something that I am excited about she just brings me down. She'll tell me "Oh my god, no one cares" or "Does it really seem like I care?", stuff like that. Sometimes she will even hurt me physically also. She always flirts with all of the guys I used to like or even my boyfriend. Diana is very beautiful and she knows it. All of the guys adore here and such. Sometimes she can hurt my feelings so bad that I just want to cry. I really am not trying to be mean about this but how can I help get our friendship back on track? Sometimes when I tell her things I feel like she's jelous. Am I the one doing something wrong? Please help me, this is making me go through a lot of pain! Signed, Best Friend is hurting Me (link)
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As beautiful as Diana is, for some reason she is insecure and jealous. You do NOT need any 'friends' like this, because she is not a friend. Friends are caring and supportive - and would never ever put you down on a consistent basis. Even having a talk with her won't change her or the situation, or may even make it worse. I had a 'friend' like that and let her embarrass and hurt me for years! She even called and demanded to know what my problem was, because she wasn't asked to sit with me at my husbands funeral! That was the capper and I closed that chapter in my book.
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A guy that I'm quite good friends with invited me over to his house. We are both adults over 25. We were both watching Dr. Phil on the television. I remembered this one show a long time ago where these young teens were having oral sex parties and thought it was no big deal. Dr. Phil got mad and told them that oral sex was still considered sex because it involved a sex organ. (I agreed with him by the way) I imitated his voice and said in a Dr. Phil tone "but it IS sex because it involves a SEX ORGAN!!".
All my other friends when I told them this burst out laughing because I totally sounded like Dr. Phil. Well after I did this I looked at my friend and he looked really uncomfortable and didnt say anything at all so I changed the subject. I figured we were pretty close and could talk about just about anything. We've talked about blow jobs before.
Do you thing this might mean his feelings towards me have changed from liking me as a friend to something more? Why else would he react this way? (link)
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Sometimes guys don't like it when girls speak so bluntly. He might like you, but was surprised to hear you not acting like a lady.
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Me and my best friend,kay have been friends for 4 years and were totally close. Around Christmas, birthdays, or special occasions i tend to get big gifts. Like on time i bought her a green flower necklace ($20) and earrings ($10). At christmas i gave her a adult make up kit ($30) and her birthday this year i got her the black eyed peas cd (monkey business)($14), a unique black shimmering purse ($50), green 7up label shirt ($6) and a black shimmering belt($3) to go with the black purse. Then for her last year birthday i got her Nordstrom pajamas ($20-$30)and a piggy bank with her name panited on it ($40). Is that too much? But thats how i share my love for her. That's just the way i am i go a little over, but there neccessary. I hate if someone else got the gift i wanted to give her before me or i see something perfect and i don't get it. I don't really look at the cost that much. Everything i gave she liked because of her personality and the way she favored them. When she buys my gifts she feel there like 5 levels under mine. She doesn't have the money like my parents do, but i love and cherrish whatever she gives me. I love everything she gives me even if it was a damn peanut. I just the thought of her thinking about me. She wants me to tone it down. It will kill me! My mom even thought to give her a coach purse ($198- $300). I said no that's no what she would like that's something i would lik so. This is just the way i amd and my family we go overboard. Basically we go to the best stores for the gifts we know won't fall apart. I never had anyone complain about me giving them too much. She always talks about the cost all the time like a she's an adult and it gets annoying and takes the fun out of a few things. What should i do should i ddown size or just stay me? HELP ME (i rate high*)!!!!!!!!
(link)
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You sound very sweet and thoughtful and I'm sure your friend loves you. But when she can't reciprocate and has mentioned that she feels badly about this you need to tone it down. It's not that you are doing anything wrong, but it bothers her on the inside.
Buy her one special reasonable present... like a $25 shirt you know she loves. Then do something together like cooking something special and watching a holiday movie. I bet spending time together is more meaningful for both of you.
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There's this girl that I hang out with all the time. I've liked her for a while. Normally, we'd just talk about school and stuff like that, but lately, she goes to different subjects. She talks to me about how other guys keep coming on to her, and how she doesn't like most of those guys. She tried to call me and get me to go to her backyard at like 10 at night the other day. Also, whenever I'm with some of my other friends, who are girls, she gives me this really evil look. She used to do that to a guy she had a crush on before, so I don't know if that means anything. She's usually a pretty flirty person, but not to me, at least she didn't used to be. I just want to be know if you think she likes me, because I've screwed up signals before. (link)
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Yep, she likes you BUT this sounds like the kind of girl you need to be wary of.... if you're just friends now and she's throwing evil looks when you talk to other girl -friends just imagine how she's gonna be when you're going steady and you want to talk with other friends. Even worse...think how she's gonna be when you two break up. Just letting you know that all girls have the 'psycho' gene, some just know where to draw the line... she doesn't sound like one of them. And you don't need a stalker either.
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Okay, so I've been talking to this guy for awhile. Lemme point out the majority of my friends are guys. I just like them better - they're easier to get along with.
So this guy is kind of a jerk, but he's not really mean. He just like, teases and makes fun of me a lot. I was talking to him the other night, and I said something about talking to much and joked about him "probably want[ing] to duct tape my mouth and hands" (we were talking on line) and he said "you know, I might just have to take you up on that," and we went into a whole conversation about like, tying me up and he made it like, really sexual.
Then last night I was talking to him and I asked him what he wanted (I meant out of life) but he turned it into a discussion about what we wanted in relationships, and then he asked why I was so curious/interested, and I answered honestly first, saying it was "just something to talk about, and gets me into your head a little." and then said (obviously sarcastic) no, it's because I want you. And he thinks I seriously like him! I can't convince him otherwise, and I totally don't. I mean, I like him as a friend, but that's honestly it.
I don't want him to go around thinking I like him when I don't. So how do I fix this situation? I've tried talking to him about it and calmly explaining that I really, honestly don't like him like that and that I was totally kidding, and he said something like "You can lie to me but you can't lie to yourself."
Yeah, he's kinda arrogant. But like...what would you do?
It almost sounds to me like he likes me, but he specifically said he didn't.
So I ask you, what the heck? (link)
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If you really want him to get the message that you don't like him that way, then you need to distance yourself. By getting into the flirty conversation he thinks you are interested. By distancing yourself, I mean, don't have flirty conversations, say Hi, then say oh I have to go and just blow him off for a few weeks because you're so busy. then if you start sorta talking again, treat him like a friend and tell him about the guys you are interested in. Hopefully he'll get the message and knock it off. Sorry to be so direct, but when you let him into that sexual conversation you totally opened the door.
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ok im in a lot of trouble...here it goes, me, one of my best friends staci and her cousin nick got drunk at a party at her house(were all 13 and this is our first time getting drunk)...her aunt let us drink...so me and nick had like 5,6 straight shots and staci only had like 2. so me and nick were smashed and staci was a lil drunk...we went on stacis trampoline and we finally fell and were just laying there...i dont know i was being weird and was saying shit like"i love you guys, your the best, im glad we did this together." and i looked over at nick and we started hooking up he had his hand on my ass and i didnt mind, i had my hands all over him(not on his dick or anything) and we were making out for a while, my other best friend jessica likes him alot. but i was so drunk to even remeber that. staci finally relized what was going on and pull us off of each other and we were like what are you doing stop..and then she started freaking out and was like i need to call jessica i need to call jessica..and nick was trying to talk to her and i was like nick i love you and he was like yea i love you to..and he looked over and gave me a lil kiss. well jessica came over to stacis house and put me to bed and i fell alseep
this is wat nick said to staci about wat happened
-he said i was ontop of him and he would of stopped but he couldnt(while we were hooking up he kept saying i love u to me and he could of said stop, so that was a lie)
-staic said someone was holding her hands down he said he wasnt(like i said my hands were all over him so his one hand that wasnt on my ass must of been holding her hands down)
so now staci and jessica hate me and they believe what nick says and he was lying and they wont believe me..i cant even look at them any more and i tried to tell them when you get drunk you dont really relize whats going on..and jessica said she asked her sister and her sister said that u do relize whats going on when your drunk im soo mad and upset at the same time..i dont know wat i can say to jessica and staci so they know im sorry and that i was drunk and it wasnt really my fault (link)
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Even if your version is the truth, the other girls don't want to believe this 'great' guy would do that and they don't have the self-esteem to dump him. The best thing you can do is just NEVER put yourself in that type of situation in the first place.
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ok..well...my friend who i have known(he is a guy0 since before kindergarten is going out with this girl who every1 totally hates because she is like sluttish and whoreish. a lot of girls like him and he said no to all of them..except he was leading one girl on..and then he just suddenly goes out with the other girl..now everyone is mad at him bc of that..and he has been lying a lot recently. the girl who got lead on is so depressed. i dont know whether to agree with her or my guy friend. and im somehow in the middle of this. please help me sorry this is so long
torn in 2 (link)
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it's probably time to back off your friend. Just remember to give him his space to run around with the slut and not say a word. real, true friends are around forever and he'll be back.... boyfriends/girlfriends come and go.
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I just moved here from a different state & I'm starting school on Monday next week. I'm extremely nervous, I've never moved schools before & I'm 15. Pretty much, my question is: At lunch, I'll probably be sitting by myself. Does anyone have any suggestions on some things I could do to interest me, while sitting at lunch by myself. I don't want to look stupid and just sit there and stare around at people. I want to be able to do something. I'm not going up to people and asking them to sit with them because, I'm not that type of person. Thanks for your help. (link)
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yep, bring a current magazine or a book that has a really interesting cover/title.
be yourself but don't disclose too much. And when you meet new people be sure to ask way more about them and listen to them then yourself. you'll be great!
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I'm in 11th grade now... well i'm going into 11th... and me and my friend have been friends since 4th... we are two completly diff people but that's what makes us good friends... she is more wild and i'm more not... she will do things without thinking and I think things through... last week she told me she liked this guy... every week it seems as though she likes someone diff... she had a 3 some with him and his friend... the two guys is her exes good friends... and the guy she doesn't like is one of her best friends ex and her other friend slept with him before she had the 3 some... she has wanted me to hang out with them but i'm not that type of person... i'm waiting till i get married to loose my virginity and i have more respect in myself than that no affense to her... i love her but i don't know what to do...she has told me if i hang out with them nothing like that will happen... but everytime she tells me a story about when they hangout something sexual like that always happens... we havent talk in almost 5 days... maybe more, maybe less... i don't know what to sday to her... she has had sex before with her ex and after she did it all changed... she kisses guys without really thinking... to her hooking up witjh a guy is no biggy... to me you should know the person and have semi feelings...
confused and lost (link)
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Find a new friend. Obviously you and she don't share the same morals or values and you feel as though you'll be pressured if you do hang out. That's wrong - real friendships don't ever work that way. So she has had a threesome? that's a class act... by the time she's 23 she won't even be able to count how many she's been with and how many times she's put herself or others at risk for an STD or worse. Even though you are an individual, people will judge you by who you associate with, especially at such a young age.
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ok... so i know this is going to be one of the dumbest things you've ever heard... but... my best friend.. idk she doesnt make me feel very good.. she does things that cause me to cut myself.. and she steps all over me.. i bend over backwards to try and make sure she's happy and everything.... but she just doesnt seem to appreciate me.. i'm a really pure hearted girl.. and it's gotten to the point where she could slap me and say she hated me and i'd still love her.. kinda like when you hear about those guys that beat there wives and they stick arond and dont rat on there husbands.. i know its dumb.. but idk... im not happy in life... she's made me weak and insecure... she swore she hated this girl amanda....those two hated eachother for the longest time... and now its like nothing happened and they're best friends again.... i hate it.. and all of my friends say to just forget my bf because she isn't worth it.. but no one understands how hard that is for me..... i know i shouldnt stick around... but gosh.. its so dang confusing.. please help me anyone!
5's to anyone that helps...... :'( (link)
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honey! she is NOT your friend!!! True friends would never ever treat you that way. Friends are loving and caring and supportive. I know this... i stuck with a "friend" that constantly put me down and embarrassed me for years (from ages 12 to 28!). Close the book on her and if she asks why, just say that it's time for you to start a new chapter in your life. If she keeps bugging you say the exact same line over and over. Don't take her calls anymore, and don't reply to any messages. You are better than that - and you don't treat people that way, don't let them do that to you!
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HOW do i become more outgoing?! I want to get more friends and be funny,instead of a shy good girl!! can anyone help? thnx! (link)
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Good question, i've been working on it for years!
Poise and good manners certainly help, and asking relevant questions and Really listening to people when they answer.
You can also practice by yourself... just saying "thank you" or "it was so nice to meet you" takes some practice.
When you go out to a party, make sure you're wearing what you look nice in, but feel really comfortable in too.
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18f
situation: my best guy friend has invited me up to his farm to go horseriding... i will have to sleep over there.
Problem: last time i went to his place we got totally blind and ended up making out. he got my top off before i came to my senses and stopped.(it went no further) i told him that i thought it was wrong and i didn't want to ruin our friendship. he said that it was okay and we worked through it and saved our friendship. i know he still likes me - he told me so - but i dont like him. i told him that i would only go if he behaves himself. he said "i wont do anything, dont worry." but i'm not sure.
question: do you think he is being honest? he has tried to kiss me since 'the incident' but i backed off and he apologized. i said i'd go... should i try back out? or just go to his place? (link)
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Be a smart girl and don't even put yourself in an awkward or potentially dangerous position. Say, No thanks. If you're not sure, then you already have the vibe that somethings not right and you should never put yourself in that spot!
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well i have this friend that likes the same girl i do and me and that girl have been going out but i havint told my friend i dont know if i should or not lemme no as soon as possible. (link)
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Let him know real quick so that he's not hitting on your gf and making himself look foolish.
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