Being a teenager is the toughest thing any of you will go through..well except for a divorce or death of a loved one.
Adults just do not remember how hard this time of life is for you.
They forget how important all of these things that you ask questions about are.
Parent do not have all the answers either..they just muddle through life..just like you.
I am as old as dirt..and still have some of the things that happen to you..happen to me.
E-mail: TallTracy88@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: place where bugs go to die
Occupation: Dino
Member Since: October 24, 2004
Answers: 324
Last Update: December 17, 2004
Visitors: 18646
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Ok my best friend since 1st grade said i was a slut and she doesnt want to hang out with me because of that. I am still a virgin tho so i dont know why she said this. i just date a lot of guys because if i like them and they like me why do i need to get the name of a slut if i go out with them. she really hurt me and now we're not talking and i miss her a lot she knows THE BIGGEST secret of mine and shes going to throw our friendship away over she doesnt want to hang out with me cuz im a "slut" well i was always there for her and now shes not here for me i really need help on what to say to her to get my best friend back!! HELP PLEASE! i'll rate 5's!!
**if you need help with anything go to my advice column Netsirk07**
~!*Kristen*!~ (link)
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not your best friend..see like the question above...real friends do not talk behind your bakc. I know this hurts..you know the truth...to me she is so jealous that you are so popular with guys...that she is BEYOND jealous.
She does not want to be your friend..see she cannot deal with the fact that she's number tow in this friendship.
So...i know you have other friends..hang out with someone who REALLY cares and let the witch keep yapping.
am thinking she is the slut...
ps am betting your secret has already been told if she is spreading that kind of crap...also thinking she does not have any friends for everybody knows what kind of person she is.
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i have this friend and i really wish that she would stop saying all this crap about me behind my back...i mean every time we are together we are like the best of friends and the everthing i tell her she has to go tell other ppl...she is like backstabbing me...what should i do?? (link)
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GRR..if you do tfind the answer to this..tell me..i am so old and this still happens to me. But one trick i have found out works..see if someone else comes up to me to talk bad about that LOSER who is yapping..i always say something nice...that person who came up to me..always leaves thinking..wow..she never did say anything bad about the YAPPER...
I dropped a really close friend for she was doing this to me. REAL friends do not talk behind your back. period.
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i have one friend that seems to be mad at me and my other friend and we have asked her if she is mad at us and she says no. My friend and i dont know what to do. We really want to be friends with her but i just dont know what to do (link)
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well if she does not want to hang or if she does not return your calls..i am thinking she is mad..and is done with you guys. You cannot make someone be your friend..trust me..have tried this year and this lady does NOT want to have anything to do with me..if you can get her to get mad at you to at least find out what the reason is behone her feelings..but that could bakcfir.e
maybe she just needs some space..
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one of my best friends is really going down hill. lately she has gotten really deep into drugs and drinking. it is not like her at all. lately it seems like she wants me to be mad at her and she gets really mad when i try to help or tel her i understand and am not mad. has anyone got a suggestion or have gone through a similar situation? (link)
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yeah she wants you to get mad at her..so she can hate herself even more..and get YOu to hate her too.
She needs help..it may not be within your power to help her except to listen to her.
She needs professional hlep to dry her out..ok...if you can get her to at least SEE somoneone that will be the first step.
But she may want to drive you away so she can sink deeper despair....
So..do NOT leave..her ok..be her friend
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Okay I am crying as I write this but I am a Advicenator and I need advice...
My Ex Boyfriend Sam and I went out for 9 months and the relationship went fine and the break up was mutual but lately all we seem to do is fight and the fights are usuaally his doing...weather he talks about his new intrest (I know she is not his girlfriend because I have friends that know more than Sam does) or talk about things that he KNOWS that will upset me and provoke me to hang up on him or cry. Please help me to get to have a better friendship with him and I still like him like I did when we went out.
Age: 21
Gender: Female (link)
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you broke..up..it was mutual..why do you still fight...
you only fight with people you care about..so what is the real issue..He wants to hurt you and make you upset..if you are all WIGGEd out..then he can feel good.
I would totally limit my seeing him at all.
if this hurts..makes you mad..and upset you..why are you seeing him??
You may not be able to be friends...seesm to me he has issue HE needs to work out...
so is he WORTH the hurt?
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I just moved to a new school and I'm finding it really hard to make some friends (i'm in 9th). and it just gets really lonley on the weekends because I don't like do anything. And my friends from my old school, I don't talk to them anymore. I don't know if there is any advice you can give me (besides that whole join a sport because I am doing a sport in the spring) and join a club because I am already in some and they arent very helpful with meeting people. Any advice?? (link)
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ok so the club did not work..any sports teams you can join?/How about church activities...
There has to be ONE person there that likes the same stuff you do.
can you go to any parties..maybe the person giving the party is lame..but somone there might be interesting.
I moved several times as a teen..it usally took 3 months to get inot things..and event hen..i really had to wait till the next year...9th is tough..it is the hardest year as you are the rookie...
Anyonline communities that are in your town where you can meet anyone??
How about a part time job on the weekends?
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shes really emotional all the time ive been her best friend since kindergarten i feel a total responsibility over her instead of friendship, she bugs me all the time and all my best friends really dont like she makes me so depressed that well ive done some bad things to myself im tired of being her second mom and anytime i try to do things with other friends without her she flips out i dont wanna lie to her and i dont wanna make it a big deal by completley ditching her, how do i nicely silently disapear form her life? (link)
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man..this stinks..do not answer her calls..avoid her...blah blah blah..but a REAL former friend would at least tell he WHY..so she does not wonder to try to be your frind again..easy way out..do what I said..be a BETTER person..face to face
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advice here from college students would be greatly appreciated!!! i'm 19 and just started at Boston University this September, but i live in Chicago. at first it was the normal homesickness, missing friends and family, and having it be hard to be 1800 miles away from home. things started getting better, but for some reason, i can't see to make myself happy here. i have a few friends here, but no guys friends (that's partly due to the fact that i live on an all girls floor, and also partly my fault, so i won't complain about that) i'm really close with a couple of the girls on my floor, and one or two other people, but that's pretty much it. i feel lonely here, and as hard as i try, i can't stop thinking about home and missing it. part of that has to do with the fact that i have a bf who's in college but still lives in chicago, so i only get to see him when i come home. i know im supposed to have fun and be experiencing college, but i feel like i'm missing out on so much, but i don't know how to fix it! i don't know how to make myself accept the fact that i'm in college, and NOT at home, and be HAPPY with that. i want to be happy here, and i want to have a good time. please help me. any advice will be greatly appreciated. thanks (link)
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Colleg is very ahrd...even in the best of times..it is lonely and isolating.
If you want to stay on the team do..but if it mkaes YOU feel worse quit...
I would transfer dorms if I could...it fhte object is to meet more guys do that.
Join another organization....Boston is such a cool place..you an find lots of things to hook up with even on the net. I know the chool has tons of thigs to join that are not as exclusive as that snobby skating thing.
However..if you feel even more depresses...chat wiht a counselor....if it still si too hard for you..think about transfering to a schoo near home...it is ok to be lonely...sometimes a school is just not the right fit...
so go to the student union and have a couple chats with some oraganizations....
This is a big change in yor life right now..the biggest besides getting a new job and getting married..ok..lots of emotions going on right now...and trust me..everyon feels a lot like you do right now...
I hope this helps...am thinking of you!
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I have been cutting myself for a while now. My best friend Dylan knows about it and he wants to me stop. It is very hard to stop doing because it is addicting. Dylan and I got in a big fight last friday because he found out the night before I slit the crap outts my arms. He cares about me alot but I honestly dont want him to care. He always tells me that he loves me and I tell him not too. I hate when he tells me he loves me bc he only loves me as a friend and I wish that he loved me as more. I am in love with him. He hung up on me last friday and it is monday and we havent talked since. IDK what to do. Is he gonna stick by me through these times of pain or abandon me. If I love him should I stop doing what I have been doing and try to get some help. PLZ help me! (link)
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cutting is a way to relieve whatever is really bad going on in your life.
So until you face what it is that YOU hate...you will cut yorself.
This Dylan guy shounds like a great guy...to me having someone that loves you even if it is only freindhsip..well is more than I ahve right now..or a lot of people. How do you know he only lvoes you as a friend.
Are you cutting yourself for you want him to love you more??
If he does leave you..it will be for you drove him away...
get REAL wiht your feelings..admit youc are about him..and see what it is that makes you cut yourwlf...plus you may have to get hlep....
a lot of people do this..it is a way to exert control over your life...
Please keep this Dylan close..you need him right now...
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Well okay, here's my situation... My parents work all the time and I usually need a ride... Well my friend opted for the position and I know I do at times get annoying and ask a lot of her parents to take me around and do errands because my own parents can't... So, I give her parents gifts and things like that to thank them for taking me around... And now my friend is really getting agitated about her having to drive me around all the time when her parents don't mind at all... So.. What should I do because I mean I'm always nice to her and her parents but she is just getting on me for asking her parents to take me around... (link)
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YOUR friend is the one who is doing the driving..to me..SHE should get the stuff..not the paresntals...hey if it bugs her..find a new ride ok...sometimes picking ups someone can be a drag.
so pony up to the ONE who is actually doing the driving..ok...
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I'm a 14 yr old female and I'm having trouble on what gifts to get for guys. Girls are so easy (most of the time) to get presents for. But guys...ugh...that's a different story. lol. What kind of present would a guy want? It seems like most of my friends are guys this year, which doesn't make getting presents any easier.
And...there is this one guy that asked me out a while ago. I didn't deny him, but I told him I thought we should hang out more and see how it goes. We've been hanging out a lot now and I'm pretty sure I like him as much as he likes me now. Everyone already thinks we're going out. What kind of gift do you think I should get him? (link)
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Music movie passes video games..or even a blockbuster movie gift certificate..or sport goods stuff. Just see what they like and usually you can get them someone cool for less cash.
One of the things above is stiff kind of casual yet he will like..aks your freinds wht they are getting their guys..
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all of my friends are destructive.
friend #1-cuts and gave head.
friend #2-drank shoplifts and sneaks out of her
house
friend #3-does pot and shoplifts
friend #4-shoplifts
this is so annoying. what do i do?!i still want to be friends witht them but they're all mad @ me anyways. that's a diff. story though. help!
signed,*cAuGhT iN tHe MiDDlE* (link)
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woah..all your friends might end up in jail or grounded for life...
Sorry but all that the are doing is ONLY going to get them in super big trouble...
To me..i hate to get in trouble..the only person i end up hurting is me...
So you have a decsion..either hang out wiht these guys who will someday...get YOU in trouble too..or make new friends...
i know this is hard...I wish i had an easy answer for you..you have to decide what is more important their toxic friendship or you not getting in trouble.
Am thinking of you....
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Well, im the one who asked whether or not i should date eric because my friend erika likes him, and i took everyones advice n im dating him, EXCEPT today she found out and she called and she sounded pissed and said she needed to talk to me or else tomorrow im gunna get it to my face. i cant really fight face to face cuz i start shaking so i def* have to call her, does any body know anything i can say? like she SHOULD be happy for me.. and i jus dunno shes gunna hate me n everything please help!! (link)
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oh man..did she like him first? I am sorry to say this..but sometime guys just do not like us..so it may be hard on her..but hello..if the guy wanted to date her..he would of. but you have to make this decison..is the guy worth losing your freind over?? For to me she sounds kind of psycho over him..Yes she should be happy for you..but she is not..and I am betting in future she will not change..plus she may do things to break you up..so you have to decide if she or he is worth this.
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my friend (kelley) has been cutting herself lately and doing some pretty dangerous stuff. i told her to stop and she said she has but i dont know if i should believe her. what should i do? *signed clueless as what to do* (link)
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check out her arms....if she cuts other places then you are out of luck..but most kids..need hlep before they stop. But you have to be her friend..she needs you...you got to get her to talk to a counselor to figure out why she cuts herself. She may continue to lie to you..but realize that she is in a bad place and cut her some slack.
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Well, i'm having some problems. I talked about a sorta-friend behind thier back and they heard about it and got really upset, and now im in the middle of a big mess. Help? (link)
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Say you are sorry...tell her that the commnent was taken the wrong way..and NEVER ever say anything to anyone that you do NOT want printed on the front page of a newspaper. FACT..people talk and love to cause troubel..to zip thy lip..this is something i just learned and I am older than dirt!
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(13 yr old girl)ok so me and my friend (lets call her Ashley) were best friends. But they i started middle school and we had this big fight over nothing! And a new friend i met in middle school, lets call her Mary, would tell me what Ashley said about me and Mary would tell Ashley what i said about her... and this caused us to fight even more!! She just got in the middle constantly and like now we dont talk anymore.. question : should i be friends with Mary even though she split me and my BFF apart ..
p.s- Mary is friends with ashley .. and mary is friends with me now .. (but idk if thats a big mistake) (link)
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any girl sho plays one friend agasint another is SUPER bad news..Trust me..see you need to hang out with girls who support each other not talk about each other. She is a HUGE bitch for causing fights..and let me tell you...she will do this UNTIL she dies.
If you have to be friends with her becasue of Ashly..do NOT ever tell her anything that is secret..never ever complain about Ashly to her..just say ONLY good things about people to you. And if she tells you abouyt stuff that Ahsly says..just remember..that it may not be the truth.\
I however would dump her right away...but again it is your decision..she to me..si ONLY trouble.
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i'll rate anyone a 5 who reads this and helps thanx!!
me and my best friend have been great friends since 8th grade (were both in 12th now) so we've been friends for pretty much 5 years. i love her to death and i dont know what i would do without her. Were seriously inseperable. About a month ago she met this guy. All of a sudden its like she's dedicating her time to hang out with him EVERY day. I mean all three of us do hang out sometimes but i dont really like it bc i kinda feel like the 3rd wheel. Her ex boyfriend just told me that he likes me but i told him that i only like him as a friend. i told her that he said he liked me and all of a sudden she asumed that i liked him too and now she is mad at me. the reason they broke up was because she was lying to him and cheating on him with this guy she is with now. The guy she is with now wants to get an apartment. He said i could move in if i wanted but i dont want to because i cant afford it but i dont wanna loose my best friend to him because i lost her once before and i was miserable. Well today i left this guy a voicemail saying mean things and everything to him which i shouldnt but he is really rude to me. He calls me a slut and everything. i've told my friend this but she said well im falling in love with him and all that. I really dont wanna loose my best friend at all! i dont know wut to do and its killing me inside. I tryed to talk to her about it but she doesn't wanna listen to me at all. She told me a few weeks ago the only reason she is with this guy is because he gets her w/e she wants (he got her a diamond ring...a $500 stereo and lets her drive his new car and she doesn't have her permit or license) i dont know what to do!! someone please help!! since this is long ill rate u a 5!!! thanx!!! (link)
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ok..all g.f dates guys who are bozo's..and let's face it..they put them first.
good news..she will break up wiht him..trust me..you date a LOT of people in the next coming years.
I would NOT move in wiht them..for what happens if they break up??you are stuck...
At the beginning all people hang out ALL the time wiht the new b/f...eventually it tapers off.
BUT and I mean but..no one should CALL you a name..ok..you DEMAND respect..and if that person cannot give it to you..you walk away.
It maybe be that you walk away from your friend.
I had a freind that we wer e so close it was silly..but every time she got a new man..i was kicked to the corb..finally i jusr decided that i was worth more than that..and got some new friends..this will happen all your life.
she will not listen..all you can do..is either accept it..or not...but if youw ait awhile..i bet she will break up wiht this guy.
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I have a friend, sarah, and she has a boyfriend, john that I'm good friends with. Suddenly though, shes using me because her parents wont let her see john! i became some sort of lifeline, i call and she tells me what to say to john, she can be demanding, and im so f'ing sick of her shit. Should i ditch her? and also, i'm one of her only friends, people talk abotu her behind her back and stuff. keep her or lose her? any tips on making new friends? also, i dont want to end my friendship with john, he hanst doen anything wrong, but im sick of being used by sarah
thank you in advance, I'll rate you all
~Allysa (link)
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a real friend would not put you in this position. Plus she WILL eventually get caught..and You might get in trouble too. You might have to lose John if this all blows up.
I would join a bunch of clubs...bet think i did was to do that to meet people. You have the same interests (any kid of club not even the geeky ones) and you have an opportunity to hang out. Or if you get a job you can meet people there or even church activities...
There are lots of people out there to hanfg wiht. Hang wiht a good freind not just someone using you as a cover for thier b/f.
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ok i have this best friend kinda....she wasl ike my realllllly good friend all thru middle skool n shes a really good friend but she has been getting REALLY annoying...we still talk even tho we go to diff highskools now...but shes soo annoying!!!! shes the NICEST person ever tho lyke she would never hurt ne 1s feelings...but whenever i sign on she IMs me lyke the second i sign on and she ALWAYS talks about her boyz probs...and they r s0o0o long....EVERYTIME! i dont kno how to tell her that its annoying to hear about the same thing every time i sign on...i dont wanna hurt her feelings but its soo annoying! (link)
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if you never want to hang wiht her..you are going to have to block her im and avoid her..evnetually she will get the message..but to me..she will be hurt.
you have decided how much you can put up with..if it is that bad you have to cut her off..if not see her only once in awhile and do no answer her im....but she might just deserve your honesty..ok
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Hi, i have a friend who has bad b/o. I'm not that kind of person who can say "Would u mind putting on some deoderent?" I could never do that to a friend. I was wondering if anyone could tell me how to tell her without hurting her feelings. Please my b-day party is coming up and shes coming, i dont want to afend my other friends. Please, I really need some help. (link)
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man..i hate bo..go over to europe and whew...you never realise how good we smell.
Tell her you have tried this great new product...and that it is so amazing you bought her a bottle for YOu love it..that it smells great..if she uese it you win..if not..you either tell her or not..but let me tell you..if you are thinking it..so are everyone else..it might be cooler to be cruler for a few minutes..ok
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