I smile,laugh,love,and live in the moment. I don't think lifes worth wasteing on a boring day. I am happy and with who I am. lifes about friends who hold on to you,the people who you love and return it. I don't believe in changing for anyone, i can say that everything happens for a reason and if its not a good ending,then its not over. I Love music, and interested in anything to do with style,makeup,and fashion. I also love heroes, south park, and family guy :]. I'm done with the fake people,i've basically dropped all who never cared. and i'm actually happy,i feel so much better ! I've been through it,the friends,family,and the whole finding yourself. And i think Marylous Coffee is bomb.I have the most amazing friends; and i'm so lucky to have those crazy bitches >:}.I'm obbsessed with Harry Potter
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Teza
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So i'm pretty unhappy right now. I'm in college and I'm not necessarily finding it hard to make friends but I'm not happy with my situation now. In high school, I despised my social situation. All I've ever wanted was to fit in like a puzzle piece in a group of friends that I love to death. I had a few good friends and a best friend (another bad situation, story for another time) and that was pretty much it. I know, you're thinking quality, not quantity but there was not much quality either and neither is there at this point. There's this girl, Julie who is one of my best friends. At first I thought she didn't have much interest in me but then we all of the sudden became really close. I was ecstatic. She's way cooler and more fun than any of the friends I had in high school put together and it made my confidence go way up that she liked me so much and I could make a friend I actually liked and respected (I would never tell her that though, I try my best to act confidently). We're in the same circle of friends and we're all in the same residence building and they're all really cool, fun, and pretty as well. I was a dork in high school and before winter break and during I felt so proud that these people showed a strong interest in me. Well, my confidence has gone down exponentially over the past week. Julie has been paying a lot less attention to me and more to our gay friend Dan and a couple other people, which she has every right to do but it's crushing me. I can tell she's not as excited to be around me anymore. And this isn't just a paranoid vibe. I'm painfully jealous of the awesome relationship they are forming while I'm not really a part of it. It just makes me think that it was too good to be true. I'm not cool enough and I never will be. For a while I actually thought I was becoming this cool, fun person that people admired but now, I think that was too good to be true. I'm friends with all of them but now I feel like I don't totally fit in. The main thing is Julie. I'm trying to tell myself not to let one person bring me down but I'm disappointed. I think back to how happy I was when she started becoming really close with me and how jealous I am of the same thing that's happening with another person. I'm back to feeling like an unintelligent dork again when for a couple of months, I actually felt funny, fun, and likeable. I've always, always, always just wanted a group of friends. Not two or three here and there, a GROUP, who loved me as much as I loved them. My social life has been my number one priority since college and I try so, so hard for it not to be that way but I can't change it. I need acceptance. I need to be loved, and not but awkward people I don't like but the ones I do like. And trust me, I don't act clingy and needy to any of my friends. I'm good at concealing my emotions and needy is the least way I'd ever want to come off as. The whole Julie thing is the main thing that's absolutely crushing me. Talking to her about it is a bad idea. She's not doing anything wrong and if she's truly not interested in me, I can't force her really like me. I'm just extremely disappointed and insecure and I feel like everything has been reset to the way it was in high school. I just want a solution to this disappointment. I know, I can make new friends but it's not the easiest thing in the world and it doesn't resolve my disappointment about Julie. I want the happiness I had two months ago back. SORRY SO LONG
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This question really sparked my interest, so I hope you don't mind the long read! (That's what you get for writing a long question! :P)
If the situation has followed you from highschool, in my humble opinion, it tells me that you may need to change your view on how you see friendship. It's safe to say you're not alone on this subject. Many people feel this way, and all of it really comes down to is your thoughts. If you always think of yourself as "not cool","doesn't fit in", and "uninteresting"- you will indeed become all of these things. It sounds like you need to work on yourself, your own confidence. Negative thoughts show in actions and facial expressions- even if you're hiding your emotions. Now that you know this, don't be paranoid about your every move. Instead, change how you think :)! At all costs, every time you think of a bad thought- Breathe, count to 3, and say to yourself a VERY reassuring thought of what you want to be.
For example:
"I am becoming more and more confident."
and
"I am comfortable being myself around others".
and most importantly
"I love and accept myself"
Don't second guess this, if you try to, just shake your head, and repeat the thoughts. Repeat them until you're calm. (I'd advise doing this alone, or in a mirror. Anywhere else- may get a bit odd :P)
I really want you to just take a step back and look at your past situations, mainly your most recent onces. Look for one thing you find in common with all of them. Is it, that you're paranoid they don't want to be around you? That you think, you're not worthy of their time? If you've ever thought that about anything, please realize this is most definitely NOT the case. It's simply you backing out of a new experience, because you might be afraid that you'll lose friendship. That's understandable but you can't fear losing someone. People come and go, but don't be afraid of human nature. Don't be afraid to be the one to go either. Keep trying new things.
As for the "jealously" aspect. This grips everyone as well. But calmly think that this new girl, Julie- is it? Yeah, Julie and Dan are just creating a bond. Don't shy away from their bond, but rather embrace it! You're all friends, and maybe you and Dan can hangout alone eventually and have a good time. If you read that and thought "No way!" - This may mean you need to calm down around new people, that you may just be a bit shy and that's okay. It takes some adjusting, especially in college. Julie still likes you, there's nothing you're doing wrong. But I'd say, don't leave yourself to just Julie as a designated "comfort" friend. Find other people, have them join you all. It's always better to include people, than to seclude them from a good time. People will be drawn in by your ability to be comfortable around everyone. This takes practice, but don't worry, as long as you try it out it'll get easier :}.
And it's good to open up to people. Don't be afraid to say something no matter how you feel. Everyone also feels very left out at times- but that's then your chance to ask people if THEY want to hang out, or do something fun. If they're not down, find people who are. Don't fall into a hole and stay there. Keep moving, have you're own opinions, and stand your ground. It get's easier to realize these things if you've been through it before, I hope I've opened your eyes to some new things :). Good luck with your college experience and just have fun! No stress~
xkisakissx
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One of my close friends turns 18 in a month and plans on moving out. He's had a lot of family drama and wants to get away. I don't blame him for wanting to live somewhere else but I am afraid he is going to ruin his relationship with his whole family by making this decision. There are pros and cons that are too deep to get into, but I guess what I really need to know is, how can I be there for him? (link)
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As long as you're generally just there for him,then that's all you really can do. Be there for him to cheer him up, give him an escape from his family for a little while.Just you being with him,and him being with close friends, will make him feel like he has an entirely different kind of family, the family that isn't blood related-but sometimes much deeper. Whether we like it or not, family stays with us forever. Getting away from the family can sometimes,more often then not, give you a stronger bond with them. Living in the same house as every one knows can make you nitpick at what every person does. I don't know his situation or what has happened, but I do know that when my sister moved out for the same reason, we actually all got along a lot better. She and my mom didn't get along at all,and now they talk on the phone every night. It's a deep wound that heals over time, but it does heal non the less. Him and his family will come out stronger in the end. You can tell him all of this, reassure that you'll always be there. Just make sure he knows where it is he'll be going and if he can make it on his own- that would be the only problem I can really think of,but if he can make it, so be it. Everyone's got to leave sometime anyway. I feel like I'm talking too much :P I hope I helped in some small way- good luck to you and your friend!
xkisakissx
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Okay so this girl has been my best friend for like seven years (we're freshman in highschool) and I love her to death but there is this one thing that bothers me SOO much about her. She is actually like really really pretty but she knows this and she also thinks she's like really really hot. And it is so annoying. She's a little slutty... She doesn't have a big butt at all but she buys pants that are crazy tight and then goes around like "oh my god my butt is so big!" and for some reason it bothers me so much. And she also has like the same exact size boobs as me. Like really, I've seen her cup size... it's the same as mine. But she's always like "I'm sorry (my name) but you have like no boobs" or she's like "Here's one of my old sports bras, you can just have it cuz it's too small for me. and you have like nothing there so..." even though I constantly remind her that we have to same size. And I would never say it but I always have the urge to say "Okay. We have the same cup size, you just wouldnt be able to tell because I don't dress like a slut and let the everyone see mine :)" I know... it's really mean but it really bothers me. And I don't want to get all sappy and be like "It hurts my feelings when you make comments like that" cuz then its me admitting that im insecure about it. I just don't know how to handle her right now! I love her so much and not being friends with her is NOT an option I just don't know how to work through this. Plus, she's a total flirt. She flirts extremely with every boy she's around. Whether it be somebody's boyfriend or the guy I like and she doesn't get it when I tell her that people kind of hate her when she does that and that it bbothers me too. What can I do?? I don't know how to handle her. (link)
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It sounds to me like she wants you to feel insecure about yourself, for some reason. A lot of people like to put themselves up on this high place in life by putting people down, you just have to focus on making sure she knows it doesn't effect you. Example : Her : "Oh MAH,GAAWD. I look SOO much better than you today!" - She compares herself to you because she's actually insecure and needs to assure herself she looks good, when in reality she comes off trashy. These actions also shows she's probably jealous of some of your attributes, but covers it up with insults. The best thing to say to her for this situation would be "Yeah,Well i don't care, i like myself the way i am :}" This shows she can't effect you, and it'll take her aback- because deep down she probably doesn't like herself for who she is. And saying this doesn't come off as being rude or mean. Or you can say "How about we agree to disagree on that one?" This shows you have the upper hand and she can't decide who YOU are,you do. So, along with all this its no surprise to me that she's a flirt. But you know,with her clothing choice she's only attracting dogs that think they'll "get some". In that case, if a guy takes interest in her- you know he might not be that great for you; (if you're looking for a relationship). She'll probably grow out of this stage,but for now..buy her a sweatshirt XD. Just kiddin', but honestly, if she is acting flirty and what not, just walk away from the situation. If she asks why you left, just be like "you know i love you but i'm worried your attracting the wrong guys" You guys have been friends forever, she should understand. Besides, this makes you seem like you care for her safety, even if you don't :P, though I'm betting you do. Well that's my take on this! Hope i helped some :}
xkisakissx
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what does it really mean to "open up" to someone? is it just telling them your secret? why does some people someone open up to someone even though they havent known eachother for long?
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opening up means to show your true self, and to trust people. Not only with secrets;with the fact you can be youself around them,happy;sad;or any emotion you feel your not afraid to show them. You trust them to help you with any dilemma, make you laugh and have fun together. Your comfortable around them. Some people are simply just more open with they're business than others. You may feel like you can trust someone early in a friendship if you've gotten close fast. though with time comes stronger trust, it doesn't nessecarly mean that the new friends you make,you can't trust and open up to. it more so depends on the person and depending how long it takes them to trust another-rather than time deciding it for them,yah dig? hahah,thats my take on it. hope i helped :D !
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I can't seem to be able to let anyone in. As soon as anyone gets close to knowing me, or in anyway just close to me, I push them away. How do I stop shutting people out. I don't talk the person I consider my bestfriend really. I'm a listener not a talker. Theres no use in complaining about my problems, it doesnt do anything. I just want to be able to get close to someone, anyone. How do I do this? (link)
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Normally i would write out everything that i've learned in my life about this,i was exactly like you! but i'm running out of time on my labtop so sadly i cant (besides, it'd be lots to read and i usually repeat myself =P) but i've found a great website of tips that'll help you and give you a start-
http://www.wikihow.com/Not-Care-What-People-Think
^you must learn to do this before you can break the barriers of letting people in! side notes : use the "fake it 'till you make it" method- confidence wise. Meaning if you're insecure, ACT confident and secure-you'll soon feel that way. "find the funny" - meaning laugh in every bad or embarissing situtaion! Dont let humiluating things get to you - just think "whoops :p!" and laugh it off-it'll help loads ;D.
Don't over think. If you catch yourself planning out what you're gunna say- STOP. Stop in your tracks and think up of any random thing,sing a song in your head or just say "BLAH BLAH balhlaalhlablah" in your head till you think of something else. You can't plan things-it never works out. Being insecure and caring what people think is a state of mind and is only in the mind. Change your thinking to "I am confident and independent!" Don't get down if you say something stupid, it happens- remember to laugh it off-it'll all work out later. besides, embarissing stories are fun to tell and break the ice in many conversations ;D! Your strong, and trust is hard for you. Your not alone! Set a goal each day like "I'm going to smile at someone in the hall today" or "I have to meet at least 3 new people today!" Start small,work your way up :D! I'm sorry i couldn't give more advice, i'm already in a hurry right now XP! Type in google thinks like "How to be more trusting" or "How to be confident" and you'll get some really good things! Its a common thing to feel this way-everyone does at least once in their life time! You must love yourself before people can love you!
ps; new situation? tackel it with excitement instead of nervousness. instead of being like "I'm so nervous to talk to those people" think "I can't wait to lean more about them :}" change your thinking to positive and people will catch your vibes
hahah sorry this is scattered but i know how you feel,i can relate so much! as long as you feel good and happy, dont worry about anything else-so start with that :D hope i helped! good luck,you'll soon be more confident and happy =]
xkisakissx
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Recently, my friend's life just got a whole lot better. Everything is "perfect" now. Honestly, it is her year. At first I was jealous, but to be a good friend, her needs definitely go before mine. I'd rather be a good person, and squash my envy, than to lose a good friend.
Anyways, as a result of her "perfect" life, there is nothing to talk about. Nothing at all. We've already talked about all the "sweet" things her boyfriend says to her. The fact that he's going to give her her first kiss on her sixteenth birthday. The fact that her dad is throwing her a killer party. The fact that her grades are awesome, and she's winning so many awards.
There's just nothing to talk about. She doesn't call as much. Doesn't ask about me, how I'm doing or anything.
I'm just shocked. We had such a strong friendship. She (used to, anyways) claim that I am the reason she is her life is in order now, because I listened to her and helped her through all the hard times.
Can I save this? Does it even need saving? Is it worth it? (link)
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Well, your best friends!
you were there for her through it all,so it'd make sence if you where with her for the good times.
maybe instead of talking about how good her life is,
try to improve yours :]. talk about boys for instance. maybe her boyfriend has some single friends ;]. you could always start a "what if this happend?" kind of thing. not in a bad way,but jokingly. Or, i know you might not want to hear it, but maybe it is time for you to split apart. just for a little while. so you can get your life on track. Maybe doing what you've done to help her, is all you really can do.Now its her turn. What i'm saying is, your friendship is based on advice and helping,sticking together. so keep that bond by hanging out with her more and just creating memories. now that all the dramas out you guys can have care free fun. I think it'd be interesting if you guys went on a double date,if you have a boyfriend. if not,have her bf invite someone ;]. that open millionss of new doors for conversation.
Basically,to me,your saying your friendship is getting awkward. Change that by having fun. going out.
ugh, i feel like i'm rambling. sorry!
haha, i hoped i helped with all of this ;D
but please, if you need help, just drop one in my inbox. because, who hasn't had this feeling before?your not alone.
xkisakissx.
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what does hugs means to you when you hugging your friends?
and whats the diffrence and meaning between friends giving you regular hug and friends giving you tight hug and they lift you up?
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i give rib-breaking hugs to people i havn't seen in awhile, people i miss, people i lovee, or if i'm just really excited,that's just a way to let it out.casual hugs, are just saying "hi" and if i've seen them on a daily basis. its also a way i get closer to friends that i dont really know. Basically,to me, the harder the hug, the more you mean to me. I think hugs are for people you don't want to loose,so you hug them to hold on to them. =] (boyfriend hugs are a different story, for me i'll play with their shirt in the back or something weird. ) anywayss, hope i helped. =]
xkisakissx
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15/f
soo me and my one friend were walking down her development, up and down like the main development street, and its where all the hot guys hang out. lol so, we walked up and down, well these two really popular boys, were there.. and we saw them, and we talked to them, and they were nice and everything. and then, they were like to us, why do guys keep walking up and down here? and then the other one was like, because they're fit. and they like to exercise. well so, my friend, was like mad. and she thought they were calling us fat. and i mean, i didnt think so, because there like, heyy can we come with you, and so i was like " okay come on" and so they followed us for awhile. and then, so i was just wondering.. do you think they were saying we were fat?
i mean me and her are not fat at all. she only weighs like 105. andi weigh like 110. and shes 5'3 and i'm 5'2. so i mean, i don't know, i dont think were fat. lol sooo, what do you think? were they being mean? or did my friend just overreact to the comment? (link)
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nooo, fit is meaning you're in shape,you like keeping your figure,you're skinny/hott. yeah,its deffinatly a compliment. don't worry,and it wouldn't make sence for them to go with you if they insulted you,right? :] hope ihelped
xkisakissx
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I have this friend, let's call her D. D copies everything I do. I mean it's a little stupid to complian over, but she took my title, #1 Pirates of the Caribbean Fan!, on myspace, and everything else. She copied my look, my title, my everything. I know, people just say don't worry about it or she just admires you, but I don't care! Sure, I liked to be liked (As a friend!), but I don't want to be worshipped! I mean, COME ON! Does everybody have to copy me and fight over me? When I was in school a couple weeks ago, my friends literally started fighting just to sit next to me at lunch! WHATS UP WITH THAT?! I like friends, but not my friends to kill my other friends for me! One time, my one friend D and ket's calll her T actually wanted to start a fist fight, just to sit next to me at lunch! And, I'm losing friends because I sit next to the people who don't beat each other up to sit next to me. I like all my friends all the same, but I don't want a massacre to happen! I NEED ADVICE BAD!!!! (link)
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holy crap. Ok,well this is how i found out to stop copyers. find something you know they can't copy. you know they can't copy your life,as much as they want it. anyways, i would start making my own clothes,purses,or something along those lines. they'll grow out of copying eventually. As for the seat thing,if they fight to sit with you,just leave the table and sit with your other friends. tell them you don't like being around people who fight and don't see why everyone should fight over sitting next to you. ((Add in you like them all the same,and its just a lunch table,seriously.)) sounds like your friends have some growing up to do,sorry. and i would change your myspace title to something that has your name in it. or like a little quote. you could do ((your name))L♥VES P0+C! :] :]. and also for myspace,if you want,put pictures taken by you on there (if you like photography) one more thing,add in you hate copiers (if you haven't already) because,they obviously don't want you mad at them,(since they kind of worship you,they wouldn't want you to get mad at them...ha,you knoww?) anyways i hope i helped :] good luck!
xkisakissx
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Last year, one of my best friends, Diane, (we aren't friends anymore) told me that my other friend, Rachel, was just using a guy. She said Rachel told her that she just wanted to be popular and that she wanted him to buy her things, but she really didn't like him. Now the guy that she was going out with ... he was my best friend. So of course, I told him. Except he wouldn't believe me unless I said I was the one who heard her say it, so I just said that. They ended up breaking up. BUT, this year he was homeschooled and same for his sister, so I never got a chance to tell him what I found out. Diane had liked him and she apparently has some jealousy issues and she made all of that up. He possibly could be going to my school next year, so how do I fix this? I mean, he might just say, "Well, you shouldn't believe everything you hear," and get mad at me. What am I supossed to say to the guy? (link)
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actually, you sould call him soon, instead of next year. better sooner than later. start off being like "i know you wouldn't like me to bring this up again,but i think you should know this.." and say what you told us. it could be that he moved on,but you never know. your one of his best friends,so you should tell him this,tell him whats going on while he's being homeschooled. he wont get mad if you're really close,i mean you didn't know,you were just telling him something you think he needed to know. and now is the time to tell him this thing. Dianes a bitch, if she knew you were close, she knew you would tell him (what rachel "said") so don't trust diane. you never know who to believe, or whos telling the truth,you just have to go with your gut sometimes. good luck & i hope i helped!
xkisakissx
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any tips on having teen house parties ??? (link)
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-have 3 other friends with you
- decorate (some what)
-give people CANNED sodas.
-snacks.
- LOUD great dance music.
- NO ONE is allowed upstairs.
-if you have a garage thats empty use that as your space
- theme it. make it something like a costume party,on if you want.
-never mention it on myspace, pass out flyers in school.
-tell parents and some neighbors (so they don't call the cops)
- thats about it, these are just the basics.
hope i helped!
xkisakissx
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sorry so long...
me and nick used to be like best friends. i could tell him anything. (btw, im 16/f). me and kat were best friends too. shes a foreign exchange student who sat with us at lunch. shes hilarious. nick met kat one day after i would always tell him about her. well, i was falling for him because he would always tell me how beautiful i am and how much he loved me. what girl wouldnt fall for someone as sweet as him? but i told him the day after valentines day that i was falling for him. he had met katharina about a week before that. when i told him that i was falling for him, he was like "o. well, ur not over ur ex. maybe it will work later." ok. i understand that. but what i dont understand is eversince he met katharina, hes been acting like a dick to me. he ignores me, wont tell me that he loves me, and when i try to confront him about it, we end up arguing. ((i met him thru one of my bestest friends, chris.)) i often confide in chris. kat and i recently got in a fight and nick sided with her. even tho i did absolutely nothing wrong and kat had no reason to be mad at me. she took the whole fucking problem to my mom, who i dont get along with. and she knows this. so my relationship with kat and nick havent been the same for almost a month. and its getting on my nerves. hes taking her to prom. o. hes in "love" with her. but love takes time. he just fucking met her.
couple of ?'s
-why is he doing this to me?
-when kat leaves in 2 months to go back home... do you think hes gonna come back to me?
-im over trying to be friends with kat... but what do i do to get my relationship with nick back to where it was? (link)
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i bet, kat was jealous of your guys's relationship,then she stepped up her game and compleatly entranced nick. who knows,she probably does this every time she moves. My advice,is start talking to chris as much as you can,and compleatly forget nick. he doesn't know what love really is, whatever. forget him. chris was always there,right? also,talk to her about the lunch thing. say that that was rude and shes not welcome there anymore.talk to your friends befor you do this,and explain why to your friends. just forget about nick and kat. they can go all "lovey dovey" on eachother. He might also be doing this because, he likes kat, or he wants to like her, OR he wants to forget about you, OR kat said she liked him,and he liked her for that. you know,so many posibilities, but it doesnt even matter. hes a bad friend. He will probably come back to you. Don't take him back. no,hes not worth it. You can't get your relationship back with nick the way it was. i know you dont want to hear that,but think of it this way, he ditched you,why would you want to? ask him,in the nicest way possible, like "do you not like me,because of kat,or something? i miss us being friends,and with two months left of school,its not worth fighting. I;m not saying we have to be close like befor is you dont want to,but i just want to be okay. Or do you not like me because i did something?" if he gives you a stupid,answer like "you did this and your so annyoing" or whatever,just hangup. this will leave him with nothing,you got your answer and thats all you wanted. well...i know this advice seemed mean,but look what he did to you! good luck
xkisakissx
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14/f
this is probably going to be long.
ok so i met my best friend gab when i was 6. This past summer, she met some new people and became good friends with them. Best friends with 2 of them actually, even though i was supposedly still first. They hung out every day and spent so much time together that i felt left out and depressed. Now Gab has never been in a relationship, neither had andrea [one of the girls she became best friends with]. This past week while I was on vacation, Andrea got a boyfriend. I came back today and Gab immediately told me what happened, and details and everything. She says shes not sure if she and andrea will be very close much longer because of this. When she told me this, I felt a tiny bit of joy deep down because that means that I'll have her to myself again, in a sense. I don't know if I should feel guilty for feeling a bit happy though...because gab did pretty much ignore me because of andrea for like 5 or 6 months. So if you made it this far without getting confused, could you help me out?
Thanks (link)
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No. The real thing is,it seems that Gab left you first. And now shes comeing back to you,because shes made at andrea. and when shes friends with her again,what will you do? I think you should still be there and be her friend,but you should meet new people as well. Put it this way,shes your number 1,but your her 2nd. Not to be rude,but really,i wouldnt feel happy. I'd be sad and mad. Because Gab after all this time,is now coming to me cause shes mad at andrea? thats just kind of weird. You guys can still be friends,but i advise to find other ones as well in the future. Im saying this to warn you,cause i've been through this. So i guess you can feel happy,yes,but i dont know why. Im not trying to be rude,and i know this wasnt the answer you want to here. But im trying to help you. So good luck,and i really hope i helped!
xkisakissx
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i dont know why but i have no friends. seriously, i dont mean that i have a few friends.. i seriously have none, well except on the internet. i dont know why but like everywhere at school nobody likes me. not even the loser kids or the populars. like nobody . i dont know what im doing wrong.. i mean ive only had one school friend and that was four years ago in third grade, and then she had to move to a different state. it sucks.. i dont know what to do.. i mean you just canth ave internet friends. my parents worry about me alot. ive joined clubs and such in school but they treat me the same.. like they dont really like me, really acknoledge me.. and stuff. ive even joined like friendship clubs in school and out of school, even with people i dont know. but like.. its not really the same like that. i dont even really click with the people but who am i kidding at this point i'll take anyone as a friend. i just read in class and etc so that i wont be too loneley and just stand there.. somedays i feel so bad i want to kill myself. what is wrong with me? ive tried getting a new wardrobe, or just being myself.. nothing seems to work. they. just. dont. like. me. am i hopeless? what can i do? i mean like in gym class your internet friends arent gonna be there so you can partner with them and not be the "extra" person that has to join a group with people who'd rather not have you there. -sigh- (link)
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NO. DONT try to fit in with the crowd. If you look at this in another matter,your lucky no one knows you,no,let me finish,i know what your thinking,but i say you lucky,because you have the chance,to actually mold your personality your self. Get a camera,trust me,takeing pictures is the best hobby,and lots of people like it to. Try to be different. while being you. you can do anything you want at this time. Start talking. its your chance to show people who you are.Start laughing. its your chance to proove your just like anyone else. Start venting [to close close close ones you can trust-this might take awhile] and they'll open up more to you. NEVER let people walk over you,show them your strong,and state your opinon,and agree with people at times. Get into music. Your first step is to find out who you are.And what you like. I know,you feel like your just there,right? Well not anymore,your not going to be the same old "boring" person anymore. I'd get a new haircut,dye my hair,wear funky,cools jewlery,and just be myself.thats just me,what i want to do. So ask yourself, what do you want to do? Theres no one holding you back,and you shouldnt be afraid of what people think! Start writeing. Everything happens for a reason; trust me. i've learned this. You have to start things,and its scary at first,it is. Dont give short answers,dont say "soo" or "hmm" because those fill in words make things more awkward. Just laugh. Smile as much as you can. Maybe you could try make up,and playing around ,its a good thing to do when your bored. Everyone has that thing that makes people like them,but you have to find it,or at least find some of it. You have to be more outgoing. It may seem impossible,but achievable. I know this might not have made sence,sorry,but its through expierience. Also always add something in the conversation. kay?!
hope i helped
good luck! and know there are lots of people just like you!
xkisakissx
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My OLD best friend was the greatest for 3 years, or so I thought, I found out she lied and wasn't even my real friend for the first 2 years, and she does little things just to make herself feel better and me feel worse. This may seem kinda stupid and conseted but after being taken advantage of for 3 years it's a big thing/ But anyway, I realised she's really insecure, not that pretty or cool, and I'm MUCH prettier than her. SO after she told all these people lies about me I stoped being her friends, and made friends with my best friend in the world Meg, and we're so good together and we get along great but being friends with her and not my old friend has comprimised my friendships with a lot of my old friends. SO that makes me really sad, and now I'm becoming kind of popular I guess.. and this may seem great but I kind of feel like I'm becoming a snob and that my new friends aren't for real. PLUS with this new like I'm going to have to leave my old life in the dust, but I just don't think I can do that, but I CAN'T go back to my old life because I was SO mistreated. I can't help but feel torn and stuck in the middle... what should I do? (link)
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ugh,truly your the first person i met here who isnt like "omg i want to be popular and have friends blahblahblah" hah sorry. anywayss,you found out about what your old best friend did,how do you know your other old friends didnt do the same? if your "best (old)" friend did that to you,then i would think that the other did that to you as well. I guess if you think about it (and it SUCKS) your friends with one,your friends with them all. and thats just horrible if people only want to be your friend because the most popular girl in school becomes your friend. not saying thats the case,,ah im off topic,sorry xD. ok,but really,your best friend meg seems muc better. and you know,maybe the people in the new group you have are likeing you -bedcause they like you,really, this doesnt seem like a hard situtaion. if you feel like your becomeing a snob,you shouldnt,because its really a good thing to be makeing new friends. you deserve to be known,after all the things you've gone through. stick with your new friends. if you dont feel there real,test them. ask them if they'd want to sleep over,hang out,anything. its a good way to get to know people. well,if anyone really cared about you in your old group,they'd talk to you,right? they'd say something. did anyone? for those who did,stick with them as well. or if they all dont like you anymore (which is really bitchy for everyone to follow with the fight) just say you dont care,your happier now and your sick of being the under-dog. also,try to re-constuct friendships that were broken during the fight,to the people that seem like they dident get to into it. this is confusing,but i cant really explain it in any other way. welllll i tryed. good luck :]
xkisakissx
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This is adressed to girls...
What do you think us guys mean when we say things like "I just want to be friends". I'm asking because my best-friend, a girl, told me she loved me, but I don't lover her, i like her as mayeb more than a friend, but i don't totally love her. Back to the point, I'm as king because that's what I told her and she seems to not want to be my friend at all anymore. Do you girls see that comment as a "leave me alone for a while" comment? Anyways, a little help plz. (link)
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no,i see it as you dont want to have a relationship like that. but its weird...cause i would feel like i had built up all that courage just to tell you and then just fell. and then the akwardness starts. because now she thinks she cant tell you anything,thinking you might reject something again. i dont know ,its really weird. i dont see it as a leave me alone comment. she might though.
good luck just tell her you can still tell her anything and things might change.
xkisakissx
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Okay, so I'm a cheerleader. For practice one day, I let one of my friends whos in a grade lower than me, borrow one of my shirts. My favorite american eagle shirt. She wore it to cheerleading, then brought it home to wash it. She didn't bring it in until like a week later and she put it in her locker. Something spilled in her locker and got all over my shirt. So she had to bring it home and wash it again. Then today, she wore it to school! I was so mad. I've mentioned to her a few times that I'd like the shirt back, but I haven't gotten it.
Should I be mad at her? How else can I hint to her that I want it back?
Thanks!!! (link)
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go to her house, a day shes not wearing it and ask for it back. Have a convo. w/ her mom (if your friends in the shower or something) and bring it up,then she'll probably give it to you,thats if worst comes to worst.tell her its your favorite shirt and you dont want her wearing it anymore. also if she goes over your house when your not wearing the shirt (if you get it back) hide it! tell her whe nyou grow out of it she can have it (if shes smaller than you ) good luck!
xkisakissx
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I've always been kind of a drifter. I had 2 groups of friends "the immature" and "the popular". I've tryed to decide who I wanted to be friends with. I decided the popular group because they like the things I like and are more matture. But my old friends don't want to let me go. They keep inviting me over but I say I cant because im already going to my other friends houses. And at school im taking to my friends and they all run up to me and are like "Hey whats up!?! Why dont you talk to us." So me and my friends just walk away. I don't feel guilty. HOW DO I DROP THEM? Because they're trying to stick to me like glue. I seriosly just dont want to talk to them. because if I say "Hey." when im walking they try to link arms and tell me about their life. (link)
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its always good to have a side group,incase you get into a fight with the other ones. anyways, just do what you do,drift away,start hanging out with the other people more and when the "immature" group starts talking to you just answer quickly and short so theres no more conversation.just act uninteresting around them,and they'll forget about you. its always good to fuse both of your groups together so everyones friends. if your willing to give up that group that easily,you probably werent close with them to begin with.just keep doing what your doing,if they get mad at you act like it doesnt even matter,compleatly ignore them but in a nice way,incase you ever want to be there friends again. act like the people in the popular group have got you. like for instence, "hey jen (pretend your jen) wanna hang out this weekend?" "I would but jill and cassie already invited me somewhere im sorry!" like that. you know, dont make it seem like you are blowing them off,make it seem like your haveing more fun with the populars and are pulled in by them popular group. hmmm....even though if i were you i'd stick to both but have my new friends be the main group and old the side. you know though,your not going to be as close with the popular group yet,it'll take a while.you might feel left out,anyways good luck !!
xkisakissx
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I feel like lately i've lost a lot of friends for the main point that I don't really care for the things they do... I've always felt older than I actualy am and I can't really get along with most people my age... But I have trouble making friends with older people because they don't take me seriously or give me a chance because I look like i'm a 15 year old "hooligan" i suppose ((i'm 18))... Actualy, I have trouble making friends in general. Anyway, It seems like most of my "friends" have abandoned me and that has kinda made me feel a bit down lately, but the few times i've hung out with them, I just don't feel like I belong anymore. I feel left out. Everytime I feel like I actualy belong somewhere or I feel like I fit in with a group of people, it always turns out that I don't... And it's not like I start a fight or anything of that sort... I just never feel like I belong.
Personaly, and not to sound cockey, but I like my personality and the way I am and i'm not the type to change just so I can fit in with a bunch of kids... But a part of my personality is that I like people and I just get down easily when I'm alone.
There's no direct question, Just want some opinions on any of this or advice.
Thanks.
peAce
18/f (link)
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if you dont fit in,then just dont. what i mean is instead of feeling like you dont fit in,feel like you stand out. i know that when your having a good time,people will definatly want in,and join you. it doesnt have to start with a big group.it can start with only you and another person. i've felt like i couldn't fit in for a long time,but now i just think of myself as the "weird" one in the group.i was always weird,so i cant complain.think,who are you? define yourself. its good you dont let people change you.that ruins you;if you have a passion go for it. everyone gets sad when there alone to much. good luck!
xkisakissx
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I'm really into acting, and I just got an audition for TV and I told her that. Since then, she's been extra nice and invited me to go shopping and stuff. How do I know if she's using me to become popular or something like that? Also she REALLY wants to be a model and she's not doing anything about it and I'm telling her how hard it is to get into and that she needs to get involved, and i tell her how, but all she says is "but i REALLY want to!" How can I describe how hard it is to get into? (link)
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THATS SOO AWESOMEE!! i wish i was an actor..how do you get into the business? lol sorry,i'll answer your question now,
tell her you doubt you got the part,and see how she acts after a few day,she'll obviously wont want to think she was using you (if she was) so she'll continue doing that until like...3 days,then she thinks its safe to act normal again. or,if she acts normal right away then you'll know. then tell her,look,if you really want to get into modeling,higher and agent,find some modeling school and look into it further." shes telling you she wants to be a model so much because if you break into acting she'll think you can just get her and acting job,which you cant do.i hope i helped
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