about

My mission on Advicenators is to be honest. People lie when they answer because they want to be rated high, but I think people ask strangers on Advicenators things because they want an honest answer.
My alias is Farren, and I'm in 9th grade. I think I'm mature for my age, but that could just be self-dilusion. I believe that everyone is in some way self-dilusional. So yeah, ask me a question if you want.

advice

my friends stepdad molested her last night and i dont no what to do. i no i NEED to be there for her. and her mom said that if they cant find another house to buy they are moving over an hour away. which means i will probably never see her again. she is like my best friend. someone please help me. it has just hit me that i might not ever talk to her again. someone please help. i have been crying a lot...

Keep in touch through chatting and e-mail and go to see her on special occasions, an hour or so drive isn't that much if you really care about her. I'll pray for you and your friend hun, and I hope you two are okay and stay in touch.
-Farren

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my friends and are going out for a nite in the town and i like one of my friends a guy and he knows what should i do?! i know flirt but should i do anything special maybe ask for a goodnite kiss?! suggestions please!!

Maybe you should ask to walk around with him and break off from the bigger group, not like ditching them, just so you can talk to him alone for a while. Then go with the flow, good luck!
-Farren

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i moved this summer and was really, really worried about not being able to make new friends. my friends said that i would make friends in no time, and i did. but last weekend, i called my freind, and when i said i had to go, she asks, "why?" and i told her that i was going over to my new friends house, and she got all huffy and mad. its like she doesnt want me to make friends! i dont get her! it is confusing me alot, so if anyone has any good advice, please tell me.

I rate 5s!

Hey, I live in Florida! Anyways, I think your friend is just trying to let you know that she still cares about you and wants to keep in touch. Maybe she's scared you'll forget all your friends over here for your new Connecticut friends. If she only reacted that way in that one event, then it's by no means a big deal and I would pay no attention to it. Really, you should just think of it as a good thing, she still wanted to talk to you and because of that you know you haven't been forgotten and your friendship is still valued. Good luck with that situation hun, I'm sure it's nothing.
-Farren

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HELP! Please! I have a problem...see, I don't get out of the house much. Well let's just say AT ALL! Ever! I have dropped out of school awhile ago, and no job but my mother supports me. I have no friends at all. I try to communicate with them but nobody ever seems to want to hang out with me. And I don't think it's because I've dropped out...I did it a LONG time ago and this is just starting to happen. I never get asked out on a date, and my friends never talk to me. I've basically just become a bum and all I do all day is sit around home on the computer watching tv. I hate it. I know it wont be like this for the rest of my life but can somebody please tell me if this is semi-normal?! I want to know that I'm not a freak of nature.

Our town is really small, and I don't get along with too many of them so socializing is really hard for me. What can I do to make myself feel better about this? Any tips on not being so shy also? Thanks so much!

Get a job, that should help your social life. Anything that makes you see people on a regular basis is good, and making money's nice too, you don't want to be supported by your mom forever. And yeah, you're not a freak, sometimes I get like that over the summer, but yeah, procrastination isn't good.
-Farren

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It seems that I am somewhat different. By this I mean that I am quite mature for my age, and am very outgoing spontaneous person. I am somehow taken granted for by the people around me who I give advice to and listen to their problems. Who am I to turn to when my whole life is falling apart? Basically, what I am trying to say is; How come no one notices I am dying on the inside? Also, why do people blow me off when I am trying to help? Just please come up with something to somehow help...

(I am 14 and Female)

You don't sound mature for your age, you sound conceited. "How come no one notices I am dying on the inside?" everyone our age feels that way. This isn't an isolated situation. You probably think it's cool to be a loner, and that because of it you're somehow deeper than your peers. Depression isn't a good thing. Stop focusing on yourself, and look at the vast world around you. Get outside of your little environment.
-Farren

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Hi. I have a problem here. My cousin is really nice and he is friends with my boyfriend and his friends. My boy friend dosent do drugs but some of his friends do. I cant just stop his friends from doing drugs because some of them i dont evan care about. My cousin hangs out with them alot and im sure he dose drugs because i asked some of his friends and they say he dose. They all tell me not to tell anyone. My mom is really good friends with his mom (my aunt). Im not going to tell on him but what should i do to make him stop? I dont want advice that says talk it over with your cousin or just go tell on him cuz thats not what im going to do.

You can't force him to stop, it's his decision. The only way to really force him is to tell on him, but you shouldn't do that because it'd probably make him mad at you and you'd lose his trust. The best you can do is talk to him, but in the end it's his life and if he wants to use drugs he'll do them. It's nice that you're trying to help though, good luck with that hun.
-Farren

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ok this is a really long story. Ill make it short. I use to be friends with these 3 girls. They are like stuck up girls really who are not popular or anything but they think they are. Well they said that i got on their nerves and that they really dont want to be my friend anymore. So like a regular person I was hurt. I was the one who helped them meet each other. So I got upset and decided that I was going to hang out with my other friends. One friend told me she was sorry but i was mad. I said that it was stupid that they all ganged up on me all at once for no reason and even talked behind my back about it. She said that the other two girls said that I got on their nevers because i put ketchup on my chikin. so that made me more mad. Then this really big fight happened and we are no longer friends. I even told her that i was sorry because it was acctually my fault a little because i yelled at her. She started to tell lies that I had said i was going to kick her ass and she got her mom to call the school and stuff so that i didnt look at her ( stupid she rides me bus) every time i pass by her and the other girls try to make me mad and I had told her that there was no way that i was going to get mad because God did not put me on this earth to try and impress her or anyone else for that matter. I think that made her even more mad. now i dont now if i should tell her that i was sorry or if i should be mad... i feel like i am a push over. what should i do.

Don't do anything. Just ignore them. You don't have to be friends or enemies, you can just not hang out with them. Neutrality is always a good option. Hang out with other people, you don't have to acknowledge their existence.
-Farren

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I invited a friend to come with me on April vacation and my other friend is meeting me there with her fam! but now all our other friends are pissed! and talking behind my back and stuff calling me not their friend! What do i do?! I didnt mean to hurt ANYONES feelings!! i just chose my best friend to go with me.

Your friends are just being stupid. They shouldn't take it personally. *sighs* People our age (you sound to be about my age, or around it) are just immature. You can talk to them about it, and make them understand you just had to pick one. They sound like if it wasn't this, they'd find something else to gossip about. Oh well, don't worry about them during the trip and just have fun!
-Farren

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i am doing a weight loss program and i told my friend and i think my other friends know and are making fun of me. what sould i do?
how do i know if there my true friends?
HELP ME
and
ill rate you a
5!

Thanx for your help
always
~blank~

Even if your friends know that your doing a weight loss program they shouldn't make fun of you. There's nothing wrong with wanting to be fit and healthy, I would do a weight loss program if I wasn't such a procrastinator. If they make fun of you, then they aren't true friends.
-Farren

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My former best friend and I have been growing apart over the last two years. Now to her I'm just someone she says hi to in the hall. It's been hard to stay in touch over the years because she is so busy and we haven't been in any of the same classes. We still consider oursleves "friends", but I wish things could go back to the way they used to be. Whenever I call her to do something with me, she always has other plans. Ever since we started fading away from being best friends I've really missed her. We had been best friends for over 4 years and we had this dream of becoming famous actresses together, and it really saddens me how apart we've grown now. I'm afraid that in a couple of years or so, we might not be friends at all. I feel like there is nothing I can do to just have us be best friends or even just good friends again, but I need to figure out something. This seems impossible since shes always so busy with her activities and her group of best friends. Can anyone help me on what to do? I rate high!

It might be time to move on, she might not even be the same person you were best friends with. People change. You could try joining a club with her at school, or hanging out with her in the morning before classes start. If she isn't inviting you out when she goes places with her "new best friends" maybe she just doesn't want to hang out with you anymore, I know it's hard to hear, but no one likes to be the annoying stalker type. Of course, you know much more about your own situation than I do, so I could be completely off. My instinct in what I think your situation is would be to back off and move on with life.
-Farren

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I need some help. Ok, back at my old school, me and this girl Ashley used to be best friends. She also had another best friend named Nelly, but me and Nelly never hanged out. Now, we all started a new school. Me and Nelly went to the same school, but Ashley didn't. We're even in the same class! So gradually, we became best friends. But now Ashley is totally jealous. Since me and Nelly are in the same class, of course we're going to start talking. But she doesn't understand that. What should I do? Thanx.

She's being unreasonable unless you guys are like excluding her from everything. Make sure she knows you both still love her and always invite her along, so she doesn't feel left out. She probably just feels hurt. It's not nice to feel alone.
-Farren

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ok well i kinda did stuff with this guy and afterwards we were like never not fighting and it was the gayest stuff too! okay well he like stoped talking to me and then i was like why are you being such an ass to me and he was like cause you are a bitch. and he just wont talk to me and i really want to talk to him and golly! it just makes me mad and i dont know if i should just be like you know what i dont care anymore or if i should keep trying to get him to talk to me.. cause i really do care! GAH!
any suggestions?

People these days don't understand the concept of neutrality. You don't -have- to be friends with him. If someone annoyed me I wouldn't want to hang out with them either, and keeping up with annoying him just makes it worse. Okay, he doesn't want to be friends, but it's not like he's acting like an enemy and plotting plans against you, he just wants to be neutral. Neutral means no confrontation, no problems. You don't have to be friends with everyone, and not being friends doesn't have to mean being enemies.
-Farren

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Well, My friend and i were just in a fight and recently we just made up. I still feel I don't trust him and that I kinda don't want to be friends anymore. He ALWAYS hurts the one he loves the most and then regrets it. He has done it to me way to many time and it has gone to far. Should I end the friendship because I don't want to get hurt again or should i keep with the frienship. I kinda feel like I am being used for advice, Help, support, and love and I know that is the meaning of the friendship but he expresses it in a different way... I know I said to him that I never wanted anything to come between us and never to have brake a relationship and I have always been the one keeping the friends together.. Should I stay friends or Not??

If you don't want to be relied on by him for emotional support then stay friends, but tone it down. That way you don't get into a fight (because it might start a fight to tell him you don't want to be friends anymore) and you aren't being taken advantage of either.
-Farren

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ok so my best friend amanda is making sooo many wrong choices, she just barely turned 15 and shes been doing weed and drinking and having sex, ive been telling her to stop doin that stuff but she just doesnt listen, she knows its wrong but she is striving for the attention, can you guys please help im soo desperate for help right know i dont know what to do, i rate high!! thanx

Nothing you can do, sorry hun. I mean, you could tell her parents, but that's not nice and she'd probably hate you for it. She's 15, she has to make her own mistakes.
-Farren

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ok there is a girl at my school that is like stealing my bestfriends and my best friends dont no it i feel like im a sucky friend and i dont no what to do they spend less time with me and like when i try to make plans with them they end up doing it but not with me but with the other girl i just cant take it anymore they treat me like crap and i dont no what to do i need help!!!!!!!

female 13

Okay, it's time to drop the last "f" in "bff" since they obviously don't want to be best friends "forever". Find some new friends hun.
-Farren

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Ok well theres this guy hes like my best friend! i met him 2 years ago and he's always been there for me when i was sad/mad or in a fight w/ some1, anything.he always told me he loved me ever since he met me and all this stuff and when he would ask me out i would say no for several reasons.we talked and he told me all this stuff that he loved me and i would tell him i was sry but i just couldn't go out w/ him...he got me so frustrated...and when this guy i liked asked me out i said yes and now this guy that loved me was really sad..i tryed talking to him about it but he wouldnt talk to me back...now it seems like our friendship is you know just weird...i dunno. But now he wont talk 2 me at all and it would make me feel bad for not going out w/ him. Well yea he would talk to me but when i would say "hey!!!" he would be like "hi...." and thats the whole conv. cuz he wont answer me after that. ppl have told me that it would pass and he will get over it but i cant get over the fact that he wont talk to me!!!it just worries me...hes my best friend and i told him that i need advice...i need help... thanks in advance...

Of course he isn't talking to you. He's probably realized you're never going to go out with him and he wants to get over you, and not talking to you will help him with that. Give him his space. After a while he might get over it and be okay with being friends, but yeah, you should've expected this behavior. How would you feel if you liked a guy for a long time and stuck by his side and he rejected you and went out with someone else? It's not something you can help, you just don't like him, so you shouldn't feel guilty, but he's acting normal under the circumstances.
-Farren

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well im really good friends with this guy and i like him a lot because were so close and similar and i think we both like eachother and we talk about everything but he always asks out other girl who turn him down, doesnt he know that im righ tin front of him and were perfect for eachother how can i help him see that?

Tell him you like him. Really, you could've just read what you asked us and you'd know what to do.
-Farren

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my friend and i just started talking again and i am asking like how skool is going for her and how she has been! but all her answers are just "good"! how do i get her to talk more?

Okay hun, this may be hard to hear, but she probably doesn't want to talk to you. I wouldn't want to talk to you if all you ask is "how skool is going", leave the friend alone and start coming up with more creative conversation. Just trying to be honest, not mean, because that's why people ask Advicenators, right? Or do you want people to be nice and lie to you?
-Farren

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I have three really close friends, Taylor, Sarah, and Alyssa. We're all completely different but we get along really well.

So now here's my question, Alyssa's going out with this guy, Micheal. And Taylor and I don't like him at all, infact we hate him. He lives in a differnt city now, but when he did live out here he went out with two of my other friends... and cheated on both of them. Alyssa looks past this because she's been in love with him for almost a year. He never really showed interest in her until a month ago when he was horny and she was willing.

Then Julia his latest ex and Alyssa's good friend found out and got mad at both of them. Because Alyssa didn't ask if it was ok to be with him, even though he and Alyssa didn't actually go out just do... stuff... Then after all the fights, Micheal has the nerve to actually ask her out. And Julia get's pissed again because she warned Aly about him.

But then the cherry on top was that Alyssa bring's him to Sarah's birthday, uninivted, of course Taylor and I make him feel so akward he leaves. Then Alyssa lies and leaves halfway through the party saying she has to go home. To hang out with him, and when we find out and call her, she lies about where she is and who she's with saying she's christmas shopping.

What should I do she doesn't listen and he's an ass. Who's already cheated on her once and they've only been going out for about two weeks.
And she's a virgin and he's reeeeeally horny!!!!!

Explain your thoughts to her, and if she doesn't listen there isn't much you can do. The hardest thing about being a friend is letting others make their own mistakes, but we have to. Maybe your first impression wasn't right, you should try to be friends with her boyfriend.
-Farren

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I have this one really good friend, and let's call her Jane. Jane and I met last year, when I came to her school for a gifted program. Jane and I became kinda friends, but I made a best friend that I'll call Kristen. It's a year later, and now were all good friends. But on the bus the other day, this girl I'll call Sam bad mouthed my friend. I asked Kristen if she liked Jane, and she said no not really. Jane is a really good friend of mine but I don't know what to do?

Be friends with both, but don't make them hang out with each other if they don't want to. It should be fine to hang out with both of them at different times.
-Farren

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