Hi I'm Jeannie.I would love to help you with any questions you may have, so feel free to ask, no question I would ever consider stupid or embarassing so don't worry. Also, I am a college student, and I have been through a few things, so if you would like my opinion just ask, if not then please specify. And remember that you are beautiful no matter what you feel or what you are going through. :)
Gender: Female
Location: Florida
Occupation: student
Age: 18
Member Since: June 25, 2008
Answers: 252
Last Update: May 4, 2011
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I am a redhead and grew up hating it because I was different than the rest of my family. I never felt like I fit in at all. I love it now, but back then, I wanted to dye it brown so that I would be like everyone else.
Well now I have an almost-3-year-old son who has sandy brown/blonde hair and a 5.5 month old son whose hair matches mine perfectly. I knew that someday people would start commenting, but I didnt realize it would be so soon. We went to the doctors office and she said to my 5 month old "look at that hair!" and then to my 3 year old "where's your red hair?" He didnt understand (he did say "I dont know") but I know that, one of these days, he's going to feel like people are saying that he doesnt belong with us and they are singling him out for being different.
I dont necessarily want to be rude back, but I do want for these people to know that they are being rude. I want something that will be appropriate for him to say in later years too.
The only thing I can come up with is something like "I shared" which doesnt nearly get the point across. I dont know what kind of response these idiots are looking for anyways. They just say things like this to make the person uncomfortable. They deserve to be made to feel uncomfortable/stupid in return. (link)
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Hey,
First of all you said you felt like you don't fit in, understand we were not made to fit in with this world, it wasnt meant for us.
Second of all, don't worry that his hair is red, it is good to be different. According to my biology teacher, red hair is rare genetic and not many people have red hair. SO therefore, you both should be proud to be a big part of science.
I know people may make fun of him in the future, but don't worry cross that bridge when you all come to it. In the meantime, just love your son and make sure he knows that he is loved, self esteem starts at home. :D
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ok so all my friends already started wearing make up except for me because for some wierd reason im just afraid to tell my parents i want to start waering make up! i really want to wear it because i dont feel preety compared to my friends! what shhould i do?? (link)
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I understand wanting to wear makeup, but I'm sure you are absolutely beautiful without it! How old are you? Because i fyou are like 13 and younger I can see your parents not wanting you to wear makeup, but if ever you choose to tell them and wear makeup make sure you wear natural makeup, do not over do it. Just wear a simple amount, it will surpirse you how much better you feel about yourself with a little make up instead of a lot.
Good luck and God Bless
Just believe in yourself, your beautiful without it!
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so me and my mom arent the closest people in the world. last wednesday we got into a realy big fight to the point to wear she pulled my hair and she told me she thinks about killing herself. and i told her she wasnt the only one. i know people are probly going to think wow shes crazy and t doesnt do anything for her but anyway. to the point, i realy want to go on birthcontrol because i have been wanting to hae sex for a while. im no a vrgin but the last time i had sex was 2years ago. i have fooled around here and there but never all the way. i dont realy know how to tell my mom that i want birthcontrol because im afraid that she will blow up on me. i just need someone to give me some ideas to tell her. and she doesnt know im not a virgin. thanks.
oh btw im 15/f in case you havent guessed.
-Tamera. (link)
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Well it is true you can get birth control without your parents consent, but I strongly advise you not to do that. The reason being, whether or not you and your mom get along, the decision to have sex is a huge choice to make and your mom should be part of that decision, the reason being, maybe she can tell help you when it comes to sex what to do what not to do. She is older then you and will have more pearls of wisdom. See people assume that parents dont want to talk about sex or it is akward, but maybe if oyu and your mom find something important to talk about, like sex, maybe it will bring you guys colser together, so there isnt always constant tension.
I just think you should talk to her about it, yes she will be upset, and she may bring up the suicide, but she wont do it, as long as you show her you are trying to work on the relationship, case and point, start by talking about maturing and sex.
Good luck, I know things will work out for the best :)
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About two weeks ago I started realizing things my father was dOing that made me believe he was cheating on my mother. About 3 days ago while he was bringing me to work He told me he had something to tell me "I'm gay" Was one of the things and "Ive found someone else" Was the other. He hadnt told my mom at the point I was the only one who knew.
Today He told my mom and as you can tell now the house is on edge. I don't Know how to handle this and Would really like to find others who can relate to me and help me work through this but I've searched online and I cant find anything. Could you help me please! (link)
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Well I thank you for coming to me, and I will try everything in my power to help you.
First, it is completely understandable that your family life is on edge. And your mom may have trouble dealing with this, because I am sure she is in love with your dad, and he is discovering a change in his sexuality, its okay, its life. However, your mom is going to need time to digest this shocking news, so I would suggest being there for her, and being very supportive, she needs it.
The best thing I can say is that even though you may be having trouble accepting this or comprehending it, it is reality, and your mom is probably very confused. I would give it a couple days, and when you have a chance, I would take her to lunch, and maybe discuss the situation, see how she is feeling and offer her as much support as possible. I know this is a delicate situation and I wish you luck with dealing with it, but just give it some time, and be there to support both parents, it must be difficult.
Best of luck,
let me know if you need anything else. :)
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Ok well I really need help. My dad is all the time mentally abusing me. He has said I dress like a slut, act like a slut, wishes he never had me cause my actions come off as slutty. He has a daughter as a slut. All of this he has said to me. Also he has stuff like I will never make it when I grow up, and saying that I am sloppy, and filthy, etc. Plus my older brother is all the time bullying me, saying stuff like how "fat" I am, when I know I am not. Plus recently, he smacked me across the face and sprained my wrist. I have gotten into fist fights with my older brother (who is 17 btw, and I am 15/f) And its just, I dont know, its so unbearable. I can live with my mom in yanceyville, but I would have to go to a different school, but my best friend whom I am very close to lives here as well as my boyfriend who I have been going out with for 7 months. It's just I dont know. My life is here, and I cant handle moving. What do I do? If I tell then my dad will just deny it, and it will be his word against mine, and of course he will win as always, then it will be worse when we get back home. What do I do? I have to stay here, but I cant handle all the abuse. Thanks so much in advance. (link)
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Aww I am really sorry about your family abusing you like that, that isn't right. At all. Period. I don't care if you think people will believe your dad over you, you really need to say something. Talk to your mom or a trusted adult. If you know or live in this situation and you do nothing about it, you are only helping it happen again. So my sugggestion, is to talk to someone, and maybe try family counseling. SOme kind of counseiling for your dad, your brother and you. That is the first step to sloving the problem, is actually acknowledging it and taking steps to correct it. IF not you may have to move with your mom for a while, but don't worry about that until the time comes, talk to someone first.
MY family has has anger problems and so family counseling helped in my case, for the most part. We went to see a pyschologist to help sort out the problems, things got better. And they will for you too. :)
Good luck, and don't let your family insult you, you are beautiful. Ignore the name calling, it isn't right.
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17/f
Over the last year and a half one girl has basically ruined my life. She has assaulted me twice (ruined both grad events so far this year) and turned everyone against me. I don't have many friends, I can't go to parties.. it's just a bad situation. I didn't do anything to deserve this. I FINALLY told the principal last week because of the last assault (I am pressing charges) and now she has been expelled (the school board, not the principal.. she has a bad history as it is).
Except now her friends are all trying to make me feel guilty. They're telling me she is dropping out (not finding another school even though she has that option) and she is going back into using hard drugs. They're telling me about how she has no home (lives with a friend) and now no chance to get an education. This isn't my fault. I didn't tell her to ruin my life, I really didn't. I haven't said anything back to her friends. They're trying to pressure me into telling the principal that she needs to come back to our school. I don't want her back! I don't want this pressure either though. What should I do? Thanks.. (link)
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Honestly. You do not need to do anything. She chose to ruin your life and to get expelled and to do drugs. You should honestly just ignore her friends, b/c they are just going to see how far they can push you til you break, stand tall and ignore them.
Obviously she did something bad to you b/c you are pressing charges, so don't worry about it, let her be someone elses problem. You cannot blame yourself b/c the life she chose to live, she has obviously had many chances, and many opportunities to change her life, and she did nothing of the sort, so just leave it be. This no longer has anything to do with you. I know you don't want this pressure, but just stnad against it, and be nice and positive to the ppl around you, why? b/c if they see how nice you are, they will be nice back, and ignore what she said to turn them against you. You have to show people that you are a good person, b/c actions speak louder than words. Do good in the world, b/c you won't always be in this same position, so help the ppl around you and be the best person you can possibly be.
Good luck with everything, you are a good person and good things will happen to you. Also another quote, "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything" So stand up for yourself and your decisions against her friends, b/c they are not worth your tears or anything. I promise :)
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My brother is 18 years old and works at the same place as i do. (I'm 16). Long story, very short, he and his friends easily steal money. My bosses have no clue, have no cameras, and are not very on the ball. I'm talking grand theft. He's stolen approximately 5,000 dollars I'd say. It's extremely horrible. I've SEEN him steal some money, and I've heard from a couple of his friends that he confides in tell me that he does this. My brother is basically a straight A, seemingly nice kid, and my parents are too stupid to piece together that he's a thief. He bought half of a 15, 000 dollar car, and my parents thought nothing of it. They were pleased with his "savings and hard work ethic". I work the same damn job as he does and I've saved up maybe 1500 dollars, if that. My grandma asked me how he got such a nice car, and I was THIS close from telling her about everything. I don't know what to do. (link)
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I agree with the other person that answered. You really need to talk to your brother. I know this i sa touchy subject, but its likely that he needs help and maybe by you coming by and talking to him, you can pull him out of this so called "rut" Also, you said he's a nice kid with straight A's. It is apossiblity that he just got mixed int he with the wrong crowd and can really use your help.
You really should start by telling him you love him and that you are here for him, and then confront him with the problem, tell him you know everything and you are their to help. It means more when your in trouble to have someone on your side that understands. Just follow your heart, and help your brother, he's on a bad path, but with your advice, love and support you can help him get out of it.
Best of luck to you, let me know how it goes :)
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Ok I totally need some advice fast. Tomorrow I've been invited by my friend and few others to hang out after school. First of all I never had any REAL TRUE friends before so this kind of thing makes me happy to see that I'm finally hanging out with some people who accept me. Anyways my mom said I can't because she doesn't know them and I'm 16. I'm like WTF? All we are gonna do is hang out near a pond (I'm assuming it must be some kind of park) and do random stuff like play yugioh (yes major LOL). I am totally pissed right now. I don't know why, they are my friends, I know how they are but my mom is like everyone has a bad side. I don't want to believe that, they are my friends! Plus I really think this is a good way for me to get out more. A while ago after my check-up with the doctor, she said that I'm prone to diabetes. I can avoid that if I go out more which I'm hoping to do tomorrow with my friends. So should I go with them anyways or maybe stay pissed and just head home? (link)
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You may not like my answer, but talk to your mom. Don't give an attitude and yell and scream, b/c then your acting immature. Talk to her on an adult level, explain exactly what you said in your question, how they are your real friends, and how you need to go out more b/c your prone to diabetes. Take it from me, the whole whining thing doesn't work, b/c your mom will never take you seriously, but if you are paitent and try to understand things from her point of view, her answer just might surprise you. Don't disobey, and don't waste time being pissed, life is way to short b/c every minute you waste sad or angry is one minute of happiness you can never get back. Think about it.
Best of luck, keep me posted :)
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Im 15/f if it helps....
when i was little my Dad moved far away and iv always had problems dealing with it but lately its been worse I havent been sleeping at all, all i ever wanna do is hide but this morning i signed onto Yahoo and there was a message from him that he will be having another kid in the spring, i dont know how to deal with it, he also says he might only have 6 years to left and i dont think i can handle this on my own i need help. (link)
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Hey there,
I am really sorry about what you are going through with your dad. I think the reason you are having trouble sleeping is because subconsiously you know that what you are going through is really hard, you miss him and the fact that he's missed a good sized portion of your childhood has left you hurt and maybe confused, that is completely understandable. I can see where you are unsure of how to handle his new child, but maybe this child is a blesing for you and him. Maybe this child is a way of reconnecting you to your father while he has six years left. Once again, I am sorry about that too, but listen to me, six years is not as long as it seems, I believe that you should try to settle things with him while you still can, because when that persons is gone, they are gone forever, and you can't bring them back. I know that may be harsh, I'm just trying to be realistic to get you to talk to your father, honestly, you have the rest of your life to be angry, hurt, mad, sad, but if you waste this time now, you may never get to fix things with him, and that leads to regret. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, "regrets are wasted unless you can correct the wrong, or alleviate the pain" He has made the effort to email you its your turn, everyone needs a father, go and talk to him, never take the time you have here for granted because it goes by so fast. I lost someone that I cared so so much about, she's gone, and I never get to say any of the things that I left unsaid, please don't make the same mistakes I did. I'll never bring her back.
I hope everything works out for you and your father. You also might want to confide in your mom.
If you need anything else, I'm here :)
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my cousin is really popular. im a guy and she is a girl. we go to different schools and i feel like such a loser. she is very pretty and has a boyfriend. i just feel like she never wants to hang out with my becasue i am her loser cousin. what do i do to hang out with my family?! (link)
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Aw I'm sure she doesn't think that at all. Don't worry about it, your not a loser. Why can't you just call her? Say hey whats up wanna chill? I don't think she turned down her own family. Maybe you should talk to her, about how you feel like she doesn't wanna hang out with you, I'm sure thats not the case, though. You need to make the intitative (sorry thats spelled wrong) and call her.
Good luck, and your not a loser :)
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My brother is 19 and he smokes. He recently dropped out of college, does drugs, curses at everyone, has sex, cheats on his girlfriend, quit his job, and was kicked out of my house. I really miss him and I want the OLD brother I had that used to play with me and stuff. Now he doesn't write letters or emails or calls my family. And he doesn't keep in touch with his friends so no one knows where he is...what should I do!?!? (link)
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This is a really tough and delicate situation for you. I'm so sorry about the circumstances. If you get the chance to talk to him again, maybe you should tell him how you feel. How you love him more than anything and how much being an older brother has meant to you through out the years. I know he may not listen, not now, but soon he will realize the road he is on is bad. I was dating a guy and a long story short, his stepbrother was a guy I liked my whole middle school career. This kid, the stepbrother, is 17 and is into coccaine, pot, alcohol, sex and onter drugs. He dropped out of highschool at 15. I cried the whole rest of the night knowing he hasn't changed.The point to my story is, that even though I cry and want him to change, he needs to make his decision on his own. That may not be the answer you want, but the only things left for you to do, are offer him help and pray about it.
The kid I was just telling you about is facing up to 10 years in jail, no im not saying your brother is or needs to go to jail, but I know jail will pull my date's stepbrother away from the drugs, and then he can choose to turn his life around. The same may need to happen with your brother. I am so sorry though.
Please let me know if you need anything else. All the best!
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ok see i babysitt my sister EVERYDAY for my mom while she goes to work. but see my mom gets very mad when the house is a mess. i try and try to get my 8 year old sister to clean with me so my mom will let us do more stuff. but everytime i suggest that she talks back to me and screams and says NO! can u help me. i need some creative ways to get her to clean. what should i say or what should i suggest. thanks (link)
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hey there!
are you fan of bribery? It may help if you promise her like candy to help you clean. Okay okay I'm just kidding.
Well, first of all, put yourself in her shoes. As an 8 year old she probably hates cleaning, most people do. And she doesnt want you to tell her what to do, even though you have aright to. When I was eight my mom usually would ask me to clean, and afterwards we would do something fun. SO if you get your sister just to take about a half hour to help you clean, maybe you guys can do something more fun afterwards. For instance, she takes the time to clean her room, it gets done so much faster with two people working then just one. If you help her clean her room, you can make a game into it. Okay, say she has a toy box. Play it like you do the game jacks, whoever gets the most stuff in their the fastest wins. And make a 1st place prize something fun and cheap. ya know?
maybe like whoever gets their room the cleanest fastest wins like a get of cleaning free card, like they do in Monopoly.
Is that helpful for you? If not, email me back and I'll think of some more creative ways for you. I know bribery doesn't always solve things, but it can be a lot easier.
And it wouldn't hurt if you sit her down, and explain that yelling is not a nice thing to do. ALso most 8 year olds like to say their big girls, and tell her big girls don't yell and scream and talk back. I don't know maybe something like that will help you.
Just let me know, how it goes. okay?
I am an only child, so I'm trying to think in a sister perspective. Its kinda hard actually. lol. :) Good luck!
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15/f
my parents are so strict,
i dont know what to do to change it.
i got 2 a's on my report card and the rest b's and tehre mad. they dont want me to have a bf cause im "too young", even though everyone else has one. and the other day i couldnt sleepover at my friends cause my mom didnt know her, except fro teh fact she saw her late at night with guys.
they suspect i go out and drink, or they think i hang around wtih people that do(but they do)but they know im responsible, like they dont trust me at all! like they dont want me to drink at all, even thought i KNOW they did when they were my age. there so strict and its not like they just get over it, like if i had a boyfriend theyd go tell all my aunts uncles and there friends, so its pretty intimidating too. i dont know what to do cuase its not fair, i wanna go out and stuff but there so strict about everything like drinking, boys, and grades. i know theyre just watching out but still im 15 and i wanna have fun! and 2 a's and the rest b's isnt bad!
its driving me nuts and there pissing me off!
PLEASE HELPPPPPPP!!! (link)
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You know what, I had to laugh, this reminds me so much of my life when I was 15. The best advice I can give you, is instead of yelling "You don't trust me" or "I hate you" I would tell you to tell them exactly how you feel, but say it as maturely as possible.
And if you do have friends that drink, its not you they don't trust, its your friends. Believe me I learned after years of my mom and I not getting along of silly stuff like this. As you get older, this stuff becomes less and less important. I promise.
And just to give you an example, I had a best friend growing up, she and I did everything together. We went out with our 2 guy friends to the bowling alley, well my mother drove away and hid behind the trees. Yeah, complete embarassing, b/c they saw her. Well it just so happens that the bowling alley was closed so she gave the 4 of us a ride to the movies. There were all these guys around, and my best friend went with them and my mom wouldn't let me go. I cried the whole way home I was so angry, and embarassred and hurt. I yelled "how come you don't trust me????" well she explained it was my best friend she didn't trust, not me.
And to conclude, my best friend, who always made some not-so-great decisions, ended up pregnant her junior year of high school.
I'm not saying you will, I'm just saying to look at things from your parents point of view sometimes, all they want is your best interest, you'll realize it someday, I'm glad I did.
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