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im so mad.. my parents wont let me go to sleepovers or even have my own sleepovers because they dont want me to get hurt, or get some other kids hurt and get sued or something. it sucks because like everyone else gets to have them and that sort of thing doesnt happen often. i know well.. it DOES happen but I'd rather take that chance and enjoy all the fun. my parents grew up in africa, where they only had sleepovers after traveling far from their homes. so my mom (mostly her) thinks that we cant really have them either with our friends, and we should sleep in our own beds. ugh. the same with going to the beach. alot of my friends get to go with their friends to the beach, new york city, etc but my parents like.. probably wouldnt let me bring a friend along. ughhh this sucks.. what are the odds of us getting hurt? its possible ya, but... well.. ya! its frusterating!!! (link)
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have you ever asked them what exactly do they think is going to happen that would lead to someone getting hurt...i mean at most sleep overs its usually a few girls sitting around talking,watching movies,and eating pizza or some other snack and just bonding.....nothing really dangerous about that....What makes them think that the home is such a disaster zone..usually accidents happen from careless acts but youll more then like just be sitting around talking and what not...what do they think the cealing is just going to collapse on someone..its harmless and it not like they wont be home...really its a good way to bond and bring people togeather.Ask them if maybe they could give you just a fair trial run and if something goes terribly wrong then youll never bring it up again...out of all the places youve been to a sleep over is one last places that your at risk of getting hurt
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my cousin asked me if i would ask this boy out for her so i did and he said that he didn't like her but he said hell no iam not going to go out with her and now somebody spread a rumor that i told everybody that they go out and now my cousins mad at me for something i didn't do what should i do? (link)
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Wow he sounds like a rude jerk...talk to your cousin...if she doesnt want to give in a couple weeks and shell come around as for rumors they fade a way and people lose interest if its not true then dont worry about it....im sure shes just embarrased and hurt by the rejection and the way he said it and then the rumor just made her feel worse..it will blow over try buying her some candy or something else she likes and leaving anote or card explaining what happened with it leave it at her house or something like that....shell come around
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Well, I'm 15/f and my older brother is 23/m. My mom has always sided with him and she is completely rude to me. She always compares me to him, and I'm sick of it. She complains that I don't do anything to help her out around the house when I always clean my room on "cleaning weekends", I vacuum when she asks me, and I do the dishes when she asks. Yet, I still hear all the time how my brother, when he was 15 had a job and all this other stuff. Well, I would truly love to get a job, but nothing around here hires 15 year olds, so I'm kind of stuck. I really am fed up with her always comparing me to him, saying I'm a bad daughter and all I care about is myself and my boyfriend (which is not true at all). Yet, she has no idea what my brother does behind her back, he throws parties at my house when she goes to Atlantic City for the weekend, and she doesn't even care; he makes a mess of the house, and I end up having to clean it because he's too hungover and inconsiderate to see that it was him and his friends that made the mess not me. I really am just so done with listening to her complain about me, and think of how "wonderful" her son is. Plus, she complains that I'm not responsible enough to get my license/permit, but my brother was able to when he was 16. Yet, I do ALL of my homework, and I try so hard in school, but I don't have the best grades, I'm a B/C student, and she doesn't accept that from me; and yet, he slept all through high school, and passed, but he never had to hear it from her. I really don't know what to do, and how to confront her, every time I put any effort to it, I get yelled at.
Sorry this was long; any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you kindly. (link)
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Maybe she wants you to do things with out being asked...or keeping your room neat at all times....some parents put to much pressure on their kids..school might not be your thing but im sure something else is you just need to find it and play it up.Maybe you should take pictures of the parties and people being passed out and the messes or video tape it if you could secretly do it then show your mom...Maybe you can ask your mom what is it that you find so inadequate about me...if that doesnt work then just let it go because you know who you are. Every ones diffrent.and how your brother is...in a few years youll be 18.Although i do not agree with your mom but ive had friends whove went through simillar things and just had to bare with it until they turned 18 and could move out.
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I am really hating my mom again. Everytime I do something in front of her she responds to me when she tells me something. Gosh I don't know what she wants from me because I talked to hotlines about this and all they told me was find a job move out talk to her. I cried it's hard i thought the hotline will really help me but it didn't. she tries to imitate the sound I have when I talk in my head when she tells me something. I am not a daughter in her eyes anymore she is brainwashed completely. I was around her reading this thing label then she got an idea from that. Like she observed and knew the thoughts on my brain. I don't think people should be doing that. SHe is so cruel to me and everybody else in that family. I dismembered my self from the family tree. I hate them they are so rude. No normal people will like them. Does anyone know how to deal with it or can give advice aside from getting counseling. (link)
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Pay attention to see if there is a pattern to what seems to be setting her off if you notice one then avoid doing those things. Maybe you should just try calmly and logically in a normal tone start speaking your mind with out cussing even if she begins to and explain your self and ask why..if niether of those methods and you cant find any positive ground to walk on with her (i'm not sure how old you are) but maybe the best thing would be to move out and get a job its not really seprating your self its just loving from afar and that works for some people not all families get along and not all families click togeather.I think its odd that no one in your family is expressing any kind of concern for you at all or trying to talkto you but it does happen and that is the case maybe it is best you move out..not every one is happilyever after with their family and can just click by getting to geather but i would only suggest moving out if there is not one to talk to in your family or nothing positive with your mom or if you are 18 or older then maybe its time you spread your wings and have your own space.I myself am the type who can usually talk out problems but if the person is just irrational and negative whether they are family,friend,what ever then i just separate because theres no use.
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I see my dad's side of the family every week usually and they judge me a lot and never believe what I say since I'm too young to know any better. I'm 17 and I've had to grow up quickly due to a harsh childhood. I think I should know what I think and believe and they somehow still don't believe me. I have given up on having real conversations with them, which I miss, so what should I do to get them to trust what I say? I really am out of ideas here and they are my family so I do need them. (link)
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i dont know what there talking about your almost an adult. i know what you mean i had to grow up when i was 11. if you havent did anything to mislead them and are already talking to them in a logical manner and acting like an adult thentheres not alot you can do with people like that...really its their own ignorance...you can either talk anyways whether they like it or not...decide to just not have much to do with them..stop seeing them completely..or just let what they roll off your back...but its best to just be true to your self nomatter what anyone has to say about it.every person is diffrent.i understand that its your family but you have a right to be yourself and speak your mind to. maybe you could tell them how it truly makes you feel and if they cant accept you then that doesnt mean its got to weigh you down.
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My parents keep bringing up my
ex boyfriend. I broke up with him because
he told me he liked another girl too.
Well, my parents keep asking about him.
I've told them numerous times NOT to bring
him up, and not to ask my about them.
I've told them what happened and everything
but my mom tells me I'm just being sensitive.
How do I get them to stop?
They won't listen to me! (link)
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i cant believe your mom said you were being to sensitive because he liked another girl...its alittle odd. but anyways have you asked them why they keep bringing it up. ask them. if they say they think you should reconsider him then tell them your not interested in him anymore so why would you date someone that you dont have feelings for anymore (say it wheter you do or not to get them to drop it) its kind of like a guy shaving a mustach when he doesnt have hair on his upper lip its just pointless irritation.so you would just assume move on with your life and dont understand why its that big of deal hes not the only guy on earth...it would help to if you new any bad things about him that you could tell him but if theres not just leave it at that.if they dont drop it just ignore it and eventually theyll realize your not going to have a relationship with him again and lose interest.
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anyone please this is not that long and i really need help. Sometimes my parents can be complete IDIOTS. im not allowed to go skiing because My dad SAYS that im going to get hurt. I cant do an article for school on RAPE because my mom doesnt like it and now i have to stay up to research another one AND memorize it. (btw im 13/f) These stupid choices of my parents are making me depressed and i even cut myslef because of it. I cant have a boyfriend untill im 17, i cant wear a tampon yet, MY MOM DOESNT ACCEPT THAT IM GROWING UP. IVE TREID TALKING TO HER ABOUT THIS BUT SHE WILL NOT LISTEN. Seriously, My dads decision about skiing. I mean COME ON. IM GONNA GET HURT WTF. i know my parents care about me but they need to let go! They will NOT listen to me when i tell them all this. I cry all the time and i dont know what to do. Sometimes my life is perfect and sometimes i want to die. What i really want to ask you guys is what can i do now? Ive talked to them, that doesnt work. I know a note wont work and they WOUDL NOT go to a counseller or anything. I honestly feel that if i sucide myslef, they might learn something. (Also, im indian if that helps). Is anyone can help me PLEASE do so. (link)
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idiots is a harsh term..maybe over protective would be better. your parents are negative thinkers with skiing yes you could get hurt but you could get hurt walking across the street. as for rape its out there and needs to be adressed it doesnt matter if your mom likes it or not. as for a tampon i dont quite understand the harm there but i guess to them its something sexual.your only 13 but they do seem alittle extreme. cutting your self and suicide is not the answer and since you havee free will you cant really blame it on your parents thats a personal issue that your going to have to resolve with counseling if you cant stop yourself. im sure if your parents realized you were having that kind of problem then theyed get counseling for you but it doesnt really turn the tables in your favor either but it will still have to be done if you cant stop....but maybe that could open up a window to your parents issues to and result in family counseling im not saying that cutting your self or suicidal thinking is the way to go but it definetly needs to stop so maybe you could confront your parents about counseling from that angle and then when you go to a counselor you could just kind of ease the pressures of your parents into the situation. have you ever thought about talking to a school counselor about it that could get things into gear..As far as the boyfriend issue its not that unusual to wait until your seventeen to have a boyfriend because your just now hiting puberty....but everyone matures diffrently i do thinkl that your parents are to strict but still dont agree with the whole cutting your self thing or suicide solution because its just something thats going to inflict pain and really isnt going to get your point across theyll probably just think they should of been more protective but you shouldnt inflict that much pain how would you feel if someone commited suicide to teach you a lesson.anyways if you go to a school counselor without telling your parents first and tell them everything from theparents restrictions,to the cutting your wrist you suicidal thoughts and why basically everything you wrote hear will definetly get some reaction. just make sure the counselor doesnt get the idea that your being abused unless you really are physically or you could get tooken away from them....and make sure they understand that your not just some kid whos depressed because then they might just think you need medication.just tell them everything you wrote to us and you should get somekind of positive result and find some kind of compromise with your parents. as far as there approval you dont need there consent to see a school counselor.
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I have a friend, who I'll call Dan. Dan asked me out on a date over the summer and I said yes. I took it a little too far (I thought he was my boyfriend) and he said a few weeks later "Just because I asked you out doesn't mean we're going out). We didn't talk for a while but a few months ago we became friends again. We talk all the time. However, my sister hates him and doesn't want me to see him. He and I never get to meet up because he lives kind of far away and because when there's a midpoint, my sister has to be with me and they can't stand each other. He's 17 and afraid to drive on highways, so he can't drive to me, and I can't drive yet because I'm only 15. My sister said that if I ever hook up with him, she'll be extremely upset with me. So should I see him? I really want to. We're just friends. And if there's a chance and I want to do it and he initiates it, should I hook up with him? (link)
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well first of all its your life not your sisters but the main thing is do you really want him to pul what he did on you last time by saying just because we did this doesnt mean where going out or even on the verge of going out.if he know hell get away with it hell repeat it. and thats kind of bullcrap im the type of person that if you not wanting to actually make me your girlfriend then dont ask me out and definetly dont kiss me or even think of anything else. sounds to me like he might be attempting to use you alittle bit. he obviously knows you like him so if he wanted to be your boyfriend hed ask you. but hes not so if hes not asking you for a relationship by now then you need to keep it strictly friends or sop seeing him completely. hell just use you for what he can get hes that type and its not really that normal for a decent guy to do that kind of think. you need to start seeing through him
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My dad has always been the same. He's always happy one minute and angry the next. Ever since I can remember he's "spanked" me as hard as he could. He's always argued with my mom. He's always treated me unfairly. Always blamed things on me. When I was about 10 or 11, my parents got divorced. It didn't really affect me all that much. I was actually kind of happy. I mean, I thought my parents arguing would stop. I thought all those times were my dad would yell at my mom and push her up against the wall would stop. Of course I was wrong. It's been almost 6 years now, since they first got a divorce and my dad's remarried and my mom has a pretty steady boyfriend. My dad's always working. When he's not working his regular shift, he's working over time. One thing that always seemed to bug me about him is the way he always yells at me...but not just that he does it. Its that no matter how much its not my fault and how much it's my brother's fault, he always blames it on me. He favors my brother. The other night my dad came over to pick me up and take me to his house because it was his weekend to take me and my brother. I got packed and went out in the car and put my stuff in the trunk. My dad was going to let my brother go to the skate park and I was angry because when ever I ask to do anything he always tells me no. And I was telling him how I felt about that. He told me not to talk to him like that and I was afraid he was going to slap me or something like that so I got out of the car and told him I wasn't coming to his house and got my clothes out of the trunk and went back in to my house. At that point, he wasn't even trying to get me to come to his house, he didn't care. My mom told him to come in and talk to me so he did. I told him how he made me feel and he still didn't even try to convince me to go to his house. I told him to get out of my house but he wouldn't. My mom told me to go to my room and settle down. I heard my mom talking to my brother and so I thought he was gone, so I came out. My dad was still there. The next thing I know, my dad tells me this is all my arugment is all my fault and he has my mom up against the wall held by her sweatshirt. He finally leaves and my mom has a bruise on her neck...so she finally decides she should call the cops because it's not the first time it's happened. Now my dad might get arrested. I don't know how I should react to that. I feel like crap. It's all my fault. My brother's going to hate me. So is my stepmother. I'm afraid of what's going to happen to me if my dad gets locked in jail and how he'll react when he gets out. Over all, I'm just scared. Scared of everything that might happen. I have no clue what to do. (link)
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my dad was really abusive. what really important some ones life or someones feelings.you guys are in danger someone need to call the police.he needs to be arrested he could turn on your brother and your step mom. if they get mad then they should be ashamed.its not your fault hes a scum bag and theres no excuse for it.if he reacts worse then hell be in jail again fear is a weakness that hes using against you as a weapon dont give in.its not your fault hes like that.everyone is responsible for thir own actions and i think its time he accepts the consequences
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I am 51, my mom is 80. How do I handle her when we go shopping and she starts to lecture me that I am spending too much money and I really dont need to buy any more clothes unless I see something special. You see I get angry and say how dare she make comments and tell me what to do and how to do it and what to buy. HELP (link)
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have you ever considered going shopping by your self.if you cant then ignore her i know its aggravating but she cant control your haands so just go about what your doing like you dont hear her. its not like she can physically stop you.
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hey people, what is the legal age to move out of your parents house? (link)
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eighteen but you can get emacipated.
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Ok i cant stand my family. they make me want to kill myself. First off. my little brother of 11 years old, is a selfish little brat, who crys and crys about everything. and if he doesnt get his way he flips out. my sister of 15 is always pointing out the bad things about me, she is always yelling at me, and always makeing me feel like crap. My older brother of 17 is always beating on everything and needs to take anger mangament classes. My mom is always telling me, how i should feel about things, and yells at me for things i dont even do. Please tell me, what do i do? (link)
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it sounds like you and your family are under alot of stress. dont let it take you down maybe you should have a one on one talk with your mom. she might be just as upset as you are. your brother is only 11 and thats how little kids are. maybe you can try focusing on the good things no matter how small they are about them. you might want to confront your sister nicely about how what she says make you feel. you could also no matter what start calmly speaking your mind in a calm manner about how this stuff makes you feel. dont say you wannaa kill your self go alittle deeper then that. i hope you seriously dont mean that by the way its not worth it. if your being abused by these people im not saying you are but it happens tell a counselor at school. im not sure how old you are but it doesnt matter you have as much rights as a human as anyone else and you have a voice. dont bottle up emotion instead start calmy telling people how you feel about things. you might even change how they are that way. just speak your mind in a positive way if you cant get through to them then thats their own problem
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I found out that my brother smoked pot and I saw that he kept doing it so I told my mom (who doesn't believe me) but now my brother is being a jerk when all I wanted to do was help him what should I do?
(link)
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im just going to tell you straight forward ive been around many drug addicted people and its never pretty. just because alot of people do it doesnt mean its ok. i dont know if your brothers dangerous or not but drugs can change people to bad you dont know where he keeps it because then you could secretly show it to your mom. what i dont understand is why your mom wouldnt believe you. maybe you could get him some flyers for getting off drugs seminars or counseling. if he gets alittle bent out of shape then hell get over it. if hes big enough to do drugs then hes big enough to accept the consequences and if your going to push this any further youll have to accept that your brother will be mad at you. hes in the wrong not you but if you do do anything more you will also have to be able to handle and accept the consequences that come to you as wel even though your in the right.
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okay well my mum has all these expextations of me, she wants me to be a genius shes sent me to this top tutour and she thinks being smart is the one and only thing that matters in life now im reasonably smart but not a genius, recently ive had there exams and i got my results im quite above average in all my subjecs but my mon doesnt care she wanted me to do better shees always canstantly comparing me with family and friends childrn, she always calles me stupid, silly dumb and quite often puts me down, im only 14 and she just put all this pressure on me to be smart, ive tried talking to her about it several times but it doent make a difference i know it shouldnt but it makes me feel really crappy and low what should i do? (link)
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and exactly how do you measure true intelligence? any ways yeah it should make you feel crappy your mom shouldnt be calling you names tell her that the name calling really hurts you if that doesnt phase her then theres a problem with her. dont let anyone decide who you are not even your mom. you are who you are not who she or anyone else says you are. if she keeps putting pressure on you just brush it off and do what you can shell get the point eventually. just dont let it bring you down or tear you up.
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I don't know what to do and I really need advice.
My twin sister hates me. At least, I think she does. She acts like she does.
I moved out nearly a year ago into a flat with my boyfriend and since then, my relationship with everyone has improved....except with my sister. I've tried everything. I've got her round for an evening to watch movies, I even cooked a meal for her the day before yesterday. I invite her places and generally try to reach out and be sisterly.....but all she does is bitch at me.
For example, when I was there on Sunday, any time I said anything about the house (including innocently asking why there was a heap of bedclothes in the middle of my parent's bed), I got told that it was none of my business, because I don't live there any more. Then, when I try speaking to her about anything neutral, such as how work is with her and so on, she clams up. She won't talk to me and on the occasions she does, she does nothing but snap and be rude, ill mannered and.....I just don't know if I can cope with it.
It's getting to the stage where it is just easier to shut her out all together because I can't handle the way she rejects me all the time. Everyone has seen it, so I know it isn't me being paranoid.
I need some advice on how to handle it. I've tried fighting back, I've tried not saying anything..all I can do is get angry and cry.
Please help. Any advice will be gratefull received. (link)
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well what do you expect if your not willing to confront her.
you need to just flat out confront her and ask her what her problem is break through the wall with a sludge hammer. if she still is nasty to you keep her at a distance i hate to say this but some siblings just arent close. it doesnt feel good but thats the way it goes. your her sister not her dog.
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my mom keeps walking into the computer room and just "looking around". its really bugging me. every time she comes in, i have to close everything except itunes because im looking up anorexic stuff and i dont want her to think im anorexic [im not]. i even had to log off for 10 minutes because she told me to do my laundry so that she would get on and see what i was doing, but i logged off. is there nething i can do? (link)
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are you just curious about anorexia,just asking? it doesnt make you look guilty when you look up things,just when you hide things. your mom probably has noticed that your x-ing out of windows right when she comes around. so thats probably sparks her curiosity she probably thinks its something worse. you say your not anorexic so you have no reason to hide the information your looking at. if your eating and not abnormally skinny your mom probably knows your not anorexic but to be on the safe side. when something like that happens again, ill use the anorexia thing as an example just say look at this mom isnt this terible that people do this to theirselves.if she questions why your looking it up just tell her you were just curious or whatever your actual reason is. if your upfront with people including your parents then they will know how to take you and you wont have to walk on egg shells around them.
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sorry if this is long, but i really need help. every summer, my parents encourage my sister and I to do math to get a head start on the school year ahead of us. my mom used to assign me pages of problems to do, and when i finished she would give me 100 dollars. (keep in mind, i'd been doing this all summer). at the end of last school year i asked her if i could do a french tutor instead of the math and still get the money and she said yes. well she didn't get around to signing up with a tutor until a month into summer (it wasn't like she was busy, she was just sort of putting it off). and then when she finally made arrangements the tutor asked her for a days that i was free and my mom didn't get back to him in time, so by then it was a month and a half into summer and i wasn't going to have a tutor. then i started working on math by myself, really hard!! i finished 3 units which is 119 pages of my text book. today i asked her if i could still get the full money if i did a little more math and she said no!!! i feel that this is her fault, and i shouldn't get punished for working my butt off doing math, just because i couldn't get started because she was too lazy to schedule a tutor for me. is there any way that i can reason with her without being rude, because i've been counting on that money to be able to spend on something i've been saving for for 3 months, and without it i'll never get it. help!! (link)
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thats not fair. how old are you are you old enough to work. do you guys have tight finances.
if she did that to you i dont know how much youll be able to reason with her. try asking her what her reason is for it politely. ask why you get blamed for it when you had no control over it in the first place. why does she want to drill math in to your head thats not right. if your expected to do it all summer then atleast let it be something you enjoy. does she think your having trouble with it or something. if your not old enough to work at a real job maybe you can babysit for money if your mom doesnt reason with you. if she blows you off or says because i said so then shame on her. dont argue to much because she might say you dont get any money. if you approach her and she looks like she sgoing to get angry then back off. and mark it off as a sad case on your mothers part your not going to like how this sounds but in order to do what you want you might have to risk not getting paid. but your mother agreed to paying you that time so im on your side she should uphold her end
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Ok to start 14/f
Before I ask my question I'll give you a backround
Today i woke up and i was pissed because i got little sleep. My little brother was talking to my dad about how i dont go to sleep when im supposed to (12am) because I get on my computer and stay on there till about 2 or 3 am. My dad was pissed and said that when school starts for the first 3 months he will cut off the internet. Then since I was still pissed I was ranting on about how school sucks and that landed me a 15 min lecture about how if i didnt go to school I wouldnt be smart and get a good job. Later today my older brother started thinking that im turning anerexic because I had not (and still havent) eaten anything all day. I kinda blew that off and then my mom said that I dont like my family because eariler i said that its not really that cool to go to the bowling alley with my family and not my friends. Shes says that im lazy and just dont want to get any exercise (even thiugh you dont exercise at a bowling alley) so now im thinking that my family is out to get me into the loony bin
So now my question is
do i apologize for being a sort of smartmouth
or just leave it alone and let them apologize.
I rate depending on the quality of the answer.
Thanks, DarkChocolate794 (link)
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first of all think about it. are you truly sorry. if your sorry about only a little bit of what happened then apologize for that much and leave what ever your not sorry for left unspoken. if your refering to yourself as being smartmouthed then maybe you feel you took an attitude which might have triggered more anger from your family not saying that you did. but if that is the case then work on arguing with more logic and a calmer tone of talking with out appearing cocky (once again im not saying you are but im trying to look at all possibilities.) that will make you sound more mature and easier to listen to. people listen more to rational points then irrational points. but it sounds to me that your family says hurtful things to you as well. so maybe you can turn it around by keeping yourself cool and calm when situations similar to this arise.
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Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a sibling moving out and going off to college? My sister and I are a year and half apart and she's moving out in a little over a week. We're really close and I just can't imagine her not being here.
We also have an older brother that moved out 4 years ago but I guess I didn't notice as much since I still had my sister.
Now, I'm going to be all alone (well...with my parents) and have the whole upstairs of our house to myself basically and I know it sounds kind of dumb, but it's scary. Has anyone else felt this way and had to deal with it?
(link)
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you just need to adjust to it just besure to keep in contact with her
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My mom's mood is very unpredictable. She can sometimes be very delusional, abusive, and irrational. I know that she was abused when she was younger but she refuses to talk about it with anyone, she hasn't even told me. I also know that schizophrenia runs in my family. I think that she has some kind of mental illness and I want her to get help. If not she will just keep driving me and her boyfriend away from her with her mistreatment. I just don't know how to convince her to get help and admit she has a problem. If she doesn't get help soon I'll be forced to leave her. I can't stand the way she treats me. Please help me. (link)
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you and her boyfriend should confront her if she begins to get hostile leave immediately
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