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everyone's mad at me (warning long question)
Ok to start 14/f
Before I ask my question I'll give you a backround
Today i woke up and i was pissed because i got little sleep. My little brother was talking to my dad about how i dont go to sleep when im supposed to (12am) because I get on my computer and stay on there till about 2 or 3 am. My dad was pissed and said that when school starts for the first 3 months he will cut off the internet. Then since I was still pissed I was ranting on about how school sucks and that landed me a 15 min lecture about how if i didnt go to school I wouldnt be smart and get a good job. Later today my older brother started thinking that im turning anerexic because I had not (and still havent) eaten anything all day. I kinda blew that off and then my mom said that I dont like my family because eariler i said that its not really that cool to go to the bowling alley with my family and not my friends. Shes says that im lazy and just dont want to get any exercise (even thiugh you dont exercise at a bowling alley) so now im thinking that my family is out to get me into the loony bin
So now my question is
do i apologize for being a sort of smartmouth
or just leave it alone and let them apologize.
I rate depending on the quality of the answer.
Thanks, DarkChocolate794
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Wait for everyone to cool down (including you) and than apologize. You aren't doing anything out of the ordinary, your just acting like a normal teenager.
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first of all think about it. are you truly sorry. if your sorry about only a little bit of what happened then apologize for that much and leave what ever your not sorry for left unspoken. if your refering to yourself as being smartmouthed then maybe you feel you took an attitude which might have triggered more anger from your family not saying that you did. but if that is the case then work on arguing with more logic and a calmer tone of talking with out appearing cocky (once again im not saying you are but im trying to look at all possibilities.) that will make you sound more mature and easier to listen to. people listen more to rational points then irrational points. but it sounds to me that your family says hurtful things to you as well. so maybe you can turn it around by keeping yourself cool and calm when situations similar to this arise.
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Ick. I`m going to try and help you to the best of my ability. I`m not sure if it will make much sense, and it might be reeeally long. But I`m trying here.
I`m 14/f too and I never get a long with my parents either. So I know where you`re coming from. I do the same thing, Go to "bed" and then cruise myspace or anything else until mid morning. But your probably going to need the internet for school. So to get out of losing the internet tell him that your going to need it to do projects and homework assignments everynight and if you lose it you wont be able to do as good. Tell him that his lecture about school and not getting a good job made you realize that school is important and you want to start school off on the good foot, and no internet could jeapordize that. Yeah, It might be lying, but it`ll get you what you want and make your dad feel good.
And just because you dont eat something one day doesnt mean your going anorexic. Siblings, older or younger, say things just to make you mad for their own amuesment. I wouldnt pay any attention to it. Although your older brother should know better than to throw serious accusations areound, it sounds like he was just kidding around. Make sure you eat in front of your family so they know you arent anorexic ( and dont go right to the bathroom after so they dont think your bullemic ) that way no matter what your brother has been saying, they know hes just full of crap.
As for bowling, talk to your mom by herself. I know from experience sometimes parents... ugh you dont even wanna deal with them. But if you go up to her and say that you do love your family, but that going out in public with them makes you feel weird. And that your sorry and that sounds wrong but it was your teenage-ness coming out and that youd rather be with friends then family. Or say that you just dont like bowling that much with family cause its too competitive for you. Then try going on walks and doing some physical things so that shell knock the lazyness out of her mind.
I hope I helped babe.
Re Re <3
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i can see where you are coming from. just because you didn't eat all day doesn't mean you are all of a sudden turning anorexic. so your brother was wrong about that. so i wouldn't really appologize to him for anything. he probably seen you weren't having the best day, so decided to join in on the nagging. your dad is kinda being logical with the whole internet thing, because really there isn't that many people on the internet late at night, besides old creepy pedophiles. so the whole lecture thing in his eyes was for the best. even though it may seem pointless, he had a good reason for it. so why not. but he is right. if you don't do well in school, and get a good education, then you can't really get the best jobs. that doesn't mean you'll be stuck at mcdonalds all of your life. but you know? you can't really get a good workout bowling.. but you can do the whoel family bonding thing. i know it's not always the most exciting thing.. or the coolest thing to do. but even the cool kids spend some time bonding with their families.
i can get pretty mouthy to my parents, but i think every teenager does that. it's just the way things are. but you should probably apologize to your mom and your dad. they just want the best for you and your family, and want to spend time together. it's just normal. :]
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You sound Exactly like my 13 year old sister. Staying up til 2 or 3 in the morning is really sad. Honestly who else is on the computer that early in the morning? Probly no one. I dont know your dad but i know my dad tells my sister that he will disconnect the computer and take the cords with him to work and then hook it back up when he gets home at 7 pm. I dont think your dad will disconnect the the internet for 3 months after school starts though. It may be his way of trying to get you to get off the computer and get more sleep. Since you dont get alot of sleep now when school starts back up your going to have alot of trouble going to bed early then wanting to get up really early for school. When school starts back up the only think your parents want is for you to do well and get sleep.
There is nothing wrong with hanging out with your family. Im 17 and im not a family person but if they asked me to go bowling im all for it. Yes your parents are probly nothing like your friends but i bet your friends hang out with their family every once in a while.
As for the anerexic thing just eat. Not eatting for a day doesnt mean you are turning anerexic. Yea it could be a sign but not always true. When i work a 11hour shift i dont eat anything but maybe a hot pocket. so just explain to your parents your not anerexic.
hope this helps
kim:)
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well, i can can agree with you ab still its not so bad to go bowling with your family sometime i mean its not like you never go bowling with your friends and they are your family so they give you these lectures that may seem "pointless" to you but they're only doing what's best for ya. Maybe if you give them a chance to spend some time with ya or to go bowling or whatever then they'd let you go with your friends. Hope i helped!
=]
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i know how it is, family sucks. I doubt they'll apologize to you. As for the bowling alley thing, I get that all the time from my grandma. I think its because they don't realize that now that your older your more independent and like to be social with others your age. Everyone gets nasty or smartmouth sometimes, especially since you didn't sleep much. I would tell them "hey look, I know i've been kinda mean to you today and I think its because I didn't sleep well. And you know, now that i'm 14 I like to 'hangout'. And I can't very well 'hangout' with my family, so can we plan events together so that I will still be able to 'hangout' with my friends and spend quality time with you. Its not that i don't want to make time for you, its that I like makeking time for my friends too." or something like that (:
and for anerexia, I didn't eat for like a week and a half once. And barely anything for the month following. Everyone was like "omg your anerexic!" and I wasn't, i just wasn't hungry. It ends up I had acid reflux so bad that it made me no longer hungry^^
Anyway, good luck!
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From what you've said, I don't see anything smart-alec-y about what you said to your family. Chill out for a bit, then later apologize for upsetting them, but dont go into specifics. Maybe they'll offer up an apology also.
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When you make a mistake, when you do something wrong or when you hurt someone, you apologize.
It doesn't matter what the other person has done. We don't really apologize to other people for their sake, we do it for our own, and so that we know we are good fair people who always aim to behave in the best way.
So apologize, because you were a smart mouth, because you were rude, and because your parents aren't trying to drive you nuts. They are trying to make you behave, to make appreciate what you have, take care of your body and manage your sleeping habits. Basically, how to be a good person.
Apologize, and show them you are getting it.
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You definetly owe them an apology. I'm not going to force the blame on you because I take my family for granted too. I go bowling with my family and I promise you they are the most humiliating factors in my life, but it really is exercise for the mental and physical state. & midnight is way ridiculous to be staying up. It seems to be making you push away what's most important. You have no clue how lucky you are that your parents give you lectures. It really means they care about you not only now, but later on in life. I don't mean to make you feel like you're being ungrateful, but before it's too late you have to change your ways. I haven't completly myself, but I know how it is and how it should be.
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