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Parents who ruin your life sometimes
anyone please this is not that long and i really need help. Sometimes my parents can be complete IDIOTS. im not allowed to go skiing because My dad SAYS that im going to get hurt. I cant do an article for school on RAPE because my mom doesnt like it and now i have to stay up to research another one AND memorize it. (btw im 13/f) These stupid choices of my parents are making me depressed and i even cut myslef because of it. I cant have a boyfriend untill im 17, i cant wear a tampon yet, MY MOM DOESNT ACCEPT THAT IM GROWING UP. IVE TREID TALKING TO HER ABOUT THIS BUT SHE WILL NOT LISTEN. Seriously, My dads decision about skiing. I mean COME ON. IM GONNA GET HURT WTF. i know my parents care about me but they need to let go! They will NOT listen to me when i tell them all this. I cry all the time and i dont know what to do. Sometimes my life is perfect and sometimes i want to die. What i really want to ask you guys is what can i do now? Ive talked to them, that doesnt work. I know a note wont work and they WOUDL NOT go to a counseller or anything. I honestly feel that if i sucide myslef, they might learn something. (Also, im indian if that helps). Is anyone can help me PLEASE do so.
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Hey. Your parents are only doing this because they care about you and don't want anything to happen to you. They love you so much and would feel so guilty if something happened. Right now you may be really upset about all of your restrictions but you will look back in the long run and be so glad that they did this. I know you're probably shaking your head no but it's true =). About the ski trip, there's a lot of parents who don't let their kids go on these things it's only normal. Try convincing them to go on your own trip with them, you'll still have fun and they'll be glad you suggested it. Just gain their trust. And don't cut yourself!! Please, if your parents knew they would be so hurt and you're hurting yourself. I really hope this helped and good luck! =)
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idiots is a harsh term..maybe over protective would be better. your parents are negative thinkers with skiing yes you could get hurt but you could get hurt walking across the street. as for rape its out there and needs to be adressed it doesnt matter if your mom likes it or not. as for a tampon i dont quite understand the harm there but i guess to them its something sexual.your only 13 but they do seem alittle extreme. cutting your self and suicide is not the answer and since you havee free will you cant really blame it on your parents thats a personal issue that your going to have to resolve with counseling if you cant stop yourself. im sure if your parents realized you were having that kind of problem then theyed get counseling for you but it doesnt really turn the tables in your favor either but it will still have to be done if you cant stop....but maybe that could open up a window to your parents issues to and result in family counseling im not saying that cutting your self or suicidal thinking is the way to go but it definetly needs to stop so maybe you could confront your parents about counseling from that angle and then when you go to a counselor you could just kind of ease the pressures of your parents into the situation. have you ever thought about talking to a school counselor about it that could get things into gear..As far as the boyfriend issue its not that unusual to wait until your seventeen to have a boyfriend because your just now hiting puberty....but everyone matures diffrently i do thinkl that your parents are to strict but still dont agree with the whole cutting your self thing or suicide solution because its just something thats going to inflict pain and really isnt going to get your point across theyll probably just think they should of been more protective but you shouldnt inflict that much pain how would you feel if someone commited suicide to teach you a lesson.anyways if you go to a school counselor without telling your parents first and tell them everything from theparents restrictions,to the cutting your wrist you suicidal thoughts and why basically everything you wrote hear will definetly get some reaction. just make sure the counselor doesnt get the idea that your being abused unless you really are physically or you could get tooken away from them....and make sure they understand that your not just some kid whos depressed because then they might just think you need medication.just tell them everything you wrote to us and you should get somekind of positive result and find some kind of compromise with your parents. as far as there approval you dont need there consent to see a school counselor.
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well at least your mom is going to let you have a boyfriend when your 17. Most indian parents dont let their daughters have boyfriends period. I went through the same thing. You have to give them some time. Show them that you are responsible, and they will let go. Your only 13... things will seem really hard right now... but trust me it get's better. :)
Edit= Well i'm pakistani muslim... so technically i was never allowed to have a bf. When i was 13 my mom used to tell me that i could choose who i marry when i am mature enought to make my own decisions... (which meant when i was like 20 or something) However i met a really nice guy when i was 16, and i am still with him! She ended up accepting him, she really likes him. I did have BF's prior to him which she DID NOT approve of. She was very angry towards me at that point in my life.
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I can understand your dad not wanting you to ski. My dad doesn't want me to skateboard because he thinks I'm gonna fall & break my bones. So, it's pretty understandable. No parents want their kids with an injury. Imagine if you had a kid & they got hurt. You'd have to watch them suffer. It'd suck. So I see where he's coming from.
As for the no boyfriend until you're 17, that is kind of rediculous because everyone's gonna think something about it. But I couldn't have a boyfriend until I was 16. I changed all of that. I talked to my mom about it & had her & my dad meet him, and they liked him. =) Usually, I'd just talk to them about it.
Your mom doesn't want you doing an article on that for your school? I would just do it anyways because personally, that's a pretty good topic & it's always good to inform people about it. Tell your mom to think about how many girls you'll be helping if you write that article. But if she still doesn't approve, find another topic. I would have a backup topic just in case when after you talk to her about it she still says no.
I don't see why you'd wanna wear a tampon personally. So I can understand your mom's reasoning. Tampons are super uncomfortable.
But listen, I know exactly how you feel because I still can't do certain things. I have to go to concerts with my friends instead of by myself. Sometimes, my friends can't go & I end up missing an awesome show. I understand your parents probably won't listen but it's probably because when kids try to do something like this, they end up getting an attitude & whatever. Try talking to them about calmly. If they still don't listen, then wait it out.
By the way, stop cutting yourself. It looks horrible & it's dangerous to your health. Don't threaten your parents with suicide. It won't open their eyes, it'll just make them worry about you more & they won't let you do anything at all.
♥T!NA
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First of all about the skiing, it's reasonable that he's afraid you'll get hurt. That's just something parents do. No boyfriend until you're 17!? That's insane. They might just be afraid you aren't responsible enough or you'll go off and have sex. Which I'm sure is not the case. Ask your mom when she had her first boyfriend, and she'll tell you and if it's younger than 17 it may just be because she made a mistake and she doesn't want you to make the same one. But try talking to them and tell them "Please listen. This is important. I won't be here forever, so listen to me now. I know you're afraid of me having a boyfriend for whatever reason, maybe because you don't want me to make a mistake you might've made in your past. But I won't make the same mistakes. I'll make my own. I need room to make a big mistake, or I can never learn. Let me do this, I'm growing up and I love you but this is getting serious. I cut myself recently and I'm getting very depressed. I need some freedom." But remember to say it calmly, and respectfuly! But keep in mind that, you could have it worse. Much worse. I once watched this show where a mother wouldn't let her daughter walk in her neighborhood alone and she was about 15. Hope I helped <3
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I know from experience that you get what you give. If you give a lot of respect and show that you're mature and responsible, then you will get the freedom and leeway that you're looking for.
In America, if a kid is harming themselves, they have to see a counselor through their school. I don't know if you meant you're just Indian, or that you were from India.
There's a suicide hotline 1-800-SUICIDE* 1-800-273-TALK
1-800-784-2433* 1-800-273-8255
Don't cut off your nose to spite your face. You lose, too, by commiting suicide.
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