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my mom keeps walking into the computer room and just "looking around". its really bugging me. every time she comes in, i have to close everything except itunes because im looking up anorexic stuff and i dont want her to think im anorexic [im not]. i even had to log off for 10 minutes because she told me to do my laundry so that she would get on and see what i was doing, but i logged off. is there nething i can do?
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are you just curious about anorexia,just asking? it doesnt make you look guilty when you look up things,just when you hide things. your mom probably has noticed that your x-ing out of windows right when she comes around. so thats probably sparks her curiosity she probably thinks its something worse. you say your not anorexic so you have no reason to hide the information your looking at. if your eating and not abnormally skinny your mom probably knows your not anorexic but to be on the safe side. when something like that happens again, ill use the anorexia thing as an example just say look at this mom isnt this terible that people do this to theirselves.if she questions why your looking it up just tell her you were just curious or whatever your actual reason is. if your upfront with people including your parents then they will know how to take you and you wont have to walk on egg shells around them.
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I think that every single person out there can relate to your problem in some way or other. Everyone's parents wants to know what they're up to...but here's the thing. She does it because she's worried about you. Perhaps she feels shut out and that this is the only way she can find out what is going on with her daughter.
The other possibility that sprung to my mind is that she already looked at your PC at some point, saw you were looking at sites about anorexia and is scared that you might be heading in that direction. If this is the case, although she should not have been snooping, she has every right to be concerned if she is unsure what is going on.
The thing you need to bear in mind is that ALL teenagers shut out their parents while striving for their independence and that act of shutting them out makes parents more inclined to snoop, spy and generally play detective because they're concerned about WHY they are being shut out.
The answer here is simple. Let her in. You don't need to let her know anything because you do deserve some privacy. But tell her that you know she's concerned about you and that yes, you have been looking at anorexia sites, but that you have no problems with eating at all so she doesn't need to worry. Then explain to her that if she wants to know something about you in the future, then as long as she asks you straight out, you will always give her a straight and truthful answer. As long as you make good on this agreement, the privacy issue should no longer be a problem. She gets the comfort of knowing her daughter will talk to her openly and honestly when needed and you get the security of knowing your Mum won't be spying on you.
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Be glad that you have a mother who actually cares enough to look out for you. It's great that you aren't doing anything wrong but she is just doing her job by making sure of that. So much stuff goes on through the internet these days and children are constantly being exploited. It's great that she is checking out what you're doing.
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Your mom is just concerned. When shes snooping around while your online, just be like, "Mom, I know your concerned about what I'm doing online, but I would like to have a little privacy." Also, show her what your doing if she questions you in any way. Just explain to her why your researching a certain topic so she doesnt get suspicious. You may not realize it, but even after you log off she can look up what youve been doing. It would make things a lot easier for you if you quit hiding it and just took the time to explain it to her. She would probably give you a little more privacy and respect your maturity on the situation.
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You should just have a talk with your mother. Be like,"Mom, I know you care about me and are concerned with what I'm doing on the internet, but I still think I need some privacy and I feel like whenever you do that, I have no privacy in this house what-so-ever." Sometimes whenever my mom comes up behind me, I just let her look at what I'm looking at and I explain it to her what I'm doing. So then she knows I can be trusted and then she doesn't need to snoop around as much. I know, it gets annoying, but still. Like, she knows I have an advice site so if she ever sees searches for "anorexia" or "abuse" or something on google, she knows it has nothing to do with me. She also knows I have a myspace, I showed her it and everything [ I just didn't show her comments cause sometimes people can say bad stuff but it's all a joke but she wouldn't take it as that ] but what I do sometimes is I just go to TOOLS and then INTERENT OPTIONS [ maybe known as PRIVACY OPTIONS on yours ] and then I just find the History area of all the pages I've been to that the Navigation Bar [ where you enter URLS ] remembered, and I clear the history so it's completely blank. So she can't find my friends myspace's or read the people who ask me for advice's problems. I hope I helped. <3
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You can not go to places you don't want your mom to know about. :)
Honestly, there is nothing wrong with looking up information. I'm sure your mom won't have a problem with it. So long as you aren't starving yourself she will know you aren't anorexic.
You are lucky your mom is concerned enough to keep an eye on your computer use. I know it doesn't seem like it , but she is only trying to keep you safe. She has every right to see what you are doing on the Internet. It is something every responsible parent would and should do. :)
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