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Sister Problems
I don't know what to do and I really need advice.
My twin sister hates me. At least, I think she does. She acts like she does.
I moved out nearly a year ago into a flat with my boyfriend and since then, my relationship with everyone has improved....except with my sister. I've tried everything. I've got her round for an evening to watch movies, I even cooked a meal for her the day before yesterday. I invite her places and generally try to reach out and be sisterly.....but all she does is bitch at me.
For example, when I was there on Sunday, any time I said anything about the house (including innocently asking why there was a heap of bedclothes in the middle of my parent's bed), I got told that it was none of my business, because I don't live there any more. Then, when I try speaking to her about anything neutral, such as how work is with her and so on, she clams up. She won't talk to me and on the occasions she does, she does nothing but snap and be rude, ill mannered and.....I just don't know if I can cope with it.
It's getting to the stage where it is just easier to shut her out all together because I can't handle the way she rejects me all the time. Everyone has seen it, so I know it isn't me being paranoid.
I need some advice on how to handle it. I've tried fighting back, I've tried not saying anything..all I can do is get angry and cry.
Please help. Any advice will be gratefull received.
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well what do you expect if your not willing to confront her.
you need to just flat out confront her and ask her what her problem is break through the wall with a sludge hammer. if she still is nasty to you keep her at a distance i hate to say this but some siblings just arent close. it doesnt feel good but thats the way it goes. your her sister not her dog.
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It doesn't matter if you guys were never close, you love her, and she loves you. No matter how much you argue, and fight, you know there's love there. It's just hard to see.
There's a possibility she's jealous that you're out on your own with your boyfriend, & getting your life set.
I think she does miss you, but she's showing it in a totally different way. She's probably mad that you left her there to be by herself.
All I can tell you, is to sit down with her & explain that what she's doing makes you feel bad & that you're sorry about all the tension & arguments over the years. Just talk to her calmly, and if she's rude, just take it until you get your point across.
I hope things go well.
♥TiNA
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Even though you always fought and everything, sister's can still miss sisters. Sometimes people don't realize how much they can miss one person until they're gone.
She also might be jealous you're out of the house with your own flat with your boyfriend and you're doing real good and everything. I know if I was her, I'd probably want to be living with my boyfriend in a flat and not having to live at my parents house listening to their rules and everything and just being able to be free and do whatever.
I would just try talking to your sister. Just be like,"____, I've tried becoming close to you and I've been putting forth an effort, but you always seem to want to have nothing to do with me or anything and you always snap at me. I just want to know why, I mean, we're sisters. We should be close and able to talk or at least be able to act friendly towards eachother."
If she still remains closed and rude, then I suggest just keep attempting for awhile. And then if you really can't take it anymore, just leave her be. If she really wants to be sisters again, she'll realize what she's been doing and hopefully come and talk to you about it and try and resolve everything. If not, just keep acting friendly towards her, but I'm not so sure if I'd continue attempting to become sisterly anymore unless you want to continue to get snapped at.
But I hope I helped, and I hope you two work everything out. <3
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Obviously, you're really trying hard to have her in your life. So, tell her why. Just tell her how she's making you feel and ask why she treats you the way she does. Explain why you think it is so important for you two to get along and be close, or at least act civil towards each other. If she still won't respond, all you can do is keep trying, but if you just can't put up with it anymore. There's not much you can do. You can't make her like you, but you can try to get her to open up.
I hope everything works out with you two!
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You need to sit down with your sister,talk about the situation with her,why she is acting this way,tell her all you want to do is get along,why she doesn't at least try to be a little nice if she still acts the same then another alternative would be find out who her friends are,talk to them to convince her to change her ways with you,that you're a very sweet person,that sisters shouldn't fight,and always stick together.But for sure she'll realize one day that she should of never treated you the way she did.
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Your sister is probably hurt and feels rejected that you left her at home to move in with your boyfriend and have a life without her. She could be jealous as well. Shutting her out won't be good for you or her, but you do need to let her express herself without taking it personally. You moved out, so don't act like you still live there when you visit. (Like asking about clothes on the bed.) She is going through sorting out her life at home, while you have broken free. Let her work it out for herself, because she is capable without your help. However, let her know that you love and miss her and that your life would never be complete without her.
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It sounds ti me that your sister may be jealous and have feelings of being left out as you are both twins and you are becoming an adult and moving on through life she probably views herself as stuck in a rut.
Here is my suggestion to you; write her a note or a card and tell her all the things that you are feeling and that you are trying to have an adult relationship with her but at this point you have run out of options. There is only so many times that she can push you away, tell her that the ball is now in her court and when she wants to be sisters again you will be waiting with open arms but until then any contact is up to her to initiate.
Doing this may open her eyes to the error of her ways and if not you have done all you can. Continue attending family occasions and outings when she will be there but simply be polite but distant until she makes that all important first move. You have done nothing wrong and its time to stop putting up with her crap!
Hope this helps.
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If you guys were close before you moved out then maybe shes upset by the fact that you moved out. Thats the obvious thing that comes to mind. I know alot of twins have a connection that they dont want broken and maybe she things that your boyfriend broke the connection between the two of you. But a year has also been a longg time to be mad over something like this. Your sister sounds very jealous by the fact that you got out of the house And that you let another person into your life and he gets more attention then she does.
You need to sit your sister down (maybe go out to eat with her) And dont let her say no. Explain to her that you have it as far as you can take it and you need to know why she is so angry with you, Why she doesnt want anything to do with you anymore, and why she has acted like your not her sister ever since you have moved in with your boyfriend.
Explain to her that you did not move out to hurt her. And that your still your sister and you care about her alot but the way she is actting is hurting you alot.
Hope this helps
kim:)
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