Hey!
I live in Canada and I'm teen. I've been through a lot of stuff with my friends over the last few years and I always try to give my insight into their problems (sometimes even when they don't really want it lol).
I've realized that over time I have accumulated a lot of questions about moving on, so if you have a question about that, lay it on me!!
I don't think that ratings matter, and that you should choose someone to trust your question with, that will answer it with care, but show you what the world really is and wont sugar coat it.
I hope you guys find my advice helps, hope to talk soon!! :D
Angie
E-mail: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Gender: Female
Location: Canada
Age: 16
MSN: princess_in_pink723@hotmail.com
Member Since: September 9, 2006
Answers: 465
Last Update: February 20, 2010
Visitors: 28556
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13/f
My brother is 10 years old and he bugs me so much! I know everybody has to deal with this but I want it at least a little easier. Well he only comes in and starts talking to me about something random when I'm on the phone. Then when my friends come over he wants to hang out with us. But when I'm not doing anything like that he just would leave me alone. Except for when I am on the computer and he tries to take it from me. I don't bother him or do anything when he is hanging out with his friends but I don't know how to deal with this. (link)
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Hey!
I dont have any younger siblings, but I have a lot of cousins I have to deal with all summer long, and one of my cousins is eleven now, and last summer he was soooo annoying. At the beginning of the summer I would go out of my way to like ignore him, but I learned over time that he just wanted attention. So I tried to give it to him, I would invite him to play videogames with me, or ask him to show me how to skip rocks etc. (we were at our cabin) by paying attention to him when he wasnt acting out, it encouraged him to give me my space when I was busy. I sat down with him one day too and told him how I felt about the things that he did that annoyed me. and I know that sometimes boys dont understand that and dont take it well, but if he continues doing that kind of stuff, ignore it. Pretend it completely doenst phase you. once he realizes that he cant get a rise out of you, he'll quit doing it. When you have friends over, tell them that he's annoying, and warn them. then when he comes just put up with him for a bit, and when he has had enough, he'll get out. but if you get into a huge fighting match or he sees that you are embarrassed by him infront of your friends, he'll continue.
Remember he's at that age where he sees you moving on, where as he is probably stuck with the same friends hes had since kindergarten doing the same things he's been doing for the longest time. Hes probably alittle kjealous, and if you treat him as if he's not your ten year old brother, maybe he'll treat you with respect.
Hopefully that helps you out, but if it doesnt, let me know I might have some other ideas. Good luck, love ya,
Angie91
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My son is dating a girl who, I feel, is very spoiled by all the material blessings that have been bestowed on her lately (a new BMW, a $l,700 ring from her Dad, A Birthday party with a limousine and dinner for l5). It's not so much the fact that she has received these things, but, that there have been big changes in her personalilty because of it.
I was doing her nails (I am a nail technician) and after l0 minutes of hearing all about this extravagant party and the limo and the ring her dad was about to buy her, I kind of "got all over her case" about how she would feel if her and my son ended up together someday and he could not provide all the material things that she so loves for her. My husband and I are people who live paycheck to paycheck and these things big presents are not something we can do. I guess that is why I started talking to her about this, because it bothers me that we cannot provide all this materialism for our sons. We also had just gone through a legal crisis involving my older son who got into a situation where he was accused of doing something he did not do and was arrested for. It cost us $l3,000 to get a lawyer. The case was dismissed, but the bill still stays the same. So, I guess this is why I came down sort of hard on her, because I basically said that she was spoiled to her. It seems to me that all she cares about are her designer bags or shoes or her horse, or her car or her jewelry. Maybe because it came all at once it seems to be so much. Like I said, it's not the stuff as much as it is her attitute since she got all of this. She got mad because my son couldn't get her a $200 handbag for Christmas.
My saying something to her was proably wrong, but I am concerned for my son. I also feel guilty in a lot of ways because I can't be as generous to my children. But, I don't want him to be in a situation that will make him unhappy where he has to cater to her material whims. She is really bossy and pushy with him. Everything has to be her way no way.
I know I should keep my opinions to myself, but it is too late, I already told him how I feel. Then the worst happend...my son did not hang up the phone when I was talking to him about her and she heard me say that the "last car accident she was in could have been avoided if she had more experience". She had two accidents last year 6 months apart and totalled both cars. Both technically not her fault. I could be wrong, but it was just an opinion.
I feel bad about saying things about her to him, but, I can't help feeling this way. I know I cannot fix this can I. They have been dating two years. I don't want them to break up. I just wish she would go back to the sweet person she was when we met her two years ago.
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Hey!
well I think that you should just think about all of this for a second. You can not change people, so no matter how much you talk about it, she isnt going to one day be less "spoiled" or less "Materialistic". No matter how often you tell her how you feel she isnt going to change, shes just going to hate you. No matter how much you voice your opinion to your son, he is not going to change the way he feels about her.
So were you wrong interfering? yes. its their life, and as much as you love your son and want the best for him, he thinks she is best for him so you either have to be happy for him or accept that this is his choice.
So how do you keep your opinions to your self? well first off, before you ever open your mouth to say something think of the classic saying: "if you dont have anything nice to say, dont say anything at all". It may be something you would tell your son, but sometimes we can benefit from our own advice. and second think of how she is going to take what ever you are going to say. sure there isnt always a lot of time to think about this kind of stuff, but think before you speak. think, is there any way she could take this the wrong way. and finally, think of how you would feel if she was saying this same thing about you. if it would hurt you, then dont say it. treat people the way you want to be treated.
remember, this is the girl your son loves, theres got to be something great about her.
I think that the best way to respond to this situation and move on, is to apologize for anything you have said. Even if you dont feel like its your fault, be the big person, you're a mother, you can bring yourself to be strong.
I hope that you can mend the relationship between her and you, before it gets unbareable. I also hope that I helped, but let me know if there is anything else I can help you with. Good luck, lots of love,
angie91
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you know that ashlee simpson song? i sadly can actually relate to it. my big sister is pretty much perfect-straight a's, varsity captain for soccer, charity work, sca president-you name it-she does it. i reallly try to make myself better but im just not that atheletic and math is just so hard for me. i feel like i cant do anythingright compared with her. how do i get out of this? i cant keep living like im a second class citizen. (link)
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HEy!
We all have our own special talents, and you're not going to be good at everything you do. Your sister has her faults too I'm sure. you probably just dont see them.
Heres my advice, make a list of like 10-20 things that are totally awesome about you and tape it to your mirror and then everyday before you go to bed and/or when you get up in the morning, read them off to yourself. Also make a goals list. Try and sign up for somethings. you say she does all of these things well you dont have to do them all but try and do a few other things like charity work, you dont have to do the same thing as she did, just try and do a few of your own good things. If you make yourself feel awesome then thats all that matters. Make your goals achieveable and set a deadline. If you do them all by that time then you can reward yourself.
Tell yourself everytime that your sister brings home a report card with straight a's that you have awesome talents too, and maybe you put more effort in you your grades because they are harder for you to achieve. Take pride in what you do well, and dont complain that you arent as good as her, until you have as many things going on as she does. Because shes probably putting a lot of work into that stuff and if you put in that much work too, then you wont feel like a second class citizen, you'll feel just as good as her and you'll end up being a well rounded person. Good luck, and I hope I helped. Reach for the stars!
Love ya,
Angie91
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My sister is a hypochondriac. She goes on the internet and then she suddenly has all these
disease symptoms. She is driving me insane with it!
She is a homemaker with nothing better to do I
guess. She doesn't bother her husband about it
so he doesn't see the problem.
I hate not answering her calls, but that is
what it is coming to. I have tried talking to
her about it and telling her to stay off those medical sites. It works for a couple of days and then she is right back at it again.
Has anyone out there dealt with this problem before? Please help!
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Hey,
Well I'm kind of a hypochondriac as well. For anyone who doesnt have it, they dont understand. Its serious. It's not like we have the power to not do it. I get a headache and I have to go and search it because I could have a tumor. And you think well its just a headache, but to a hypochondriac, thats not the case. Your sister has a serious problem, and she confides in you, and sure its annoying for you, but just think how she feels. You think she wants to think that that cough she just had could possibly be a syptom of whooping cough or that pain in her ring finger means that she might have arthritus? No. She doesnt want to be this way, but she is and as her sister, you should try and be understanding. Sure, its annoying as hell for you. But she trusts you. She trusts you more than her husband, and maybe its a bother to you, but it's A HUGE bother to her. If you're that sick of your sister that you cant help her anymore, tell her to go to a therapist or to find a site to help hypochondriacs, but if you want to be the loving sister I know you are then listen to her, and let her know that its not her fault she is this way and that shes not going to die from one stomach ache. Support her anyway possible and you cant go wrong. But leave her, or push her out of your life and she will get worse! Another thing, is she probably wants your attention "She is a homemaker with nothing better to do I
guess." so maybe you need to give her more to do and instead of avoiding her issues, help her through them and talk to her even when she hasnt had time to look at the site. Give her other things to do,like joining a club or something. She probably misses her sister.
Just like any psychiatric disorder she needs someone to talk to about it. I confide in my mom, and I'm sure she gets sick of it sometimes, but she loves me and knows thats who I am. And thats who your sister is.
I Didnt give awesome advice about how to deal with your sister, because your sister doesnt need to be dealt with. I gave you an insiders look on hypocondria, and I hope it helpped alittle.
Good luck with your sister, love ya,
Angie91
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My parents used to get into serious fights long time ago but they stopped and now they're back. I'm the oldest out of my 2 younger siblings and they're really young. We're not aloud to go outside. What can we do? (link)
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hey!
when I was nine my parents got divorced. And right before the day my dad left I don't think there was a night they didnt fight. I was always really scared and I didn't know what to do, they never fought in front of me, always when I was in bed, but I always heard them. So I think you should take your siblings out of the room and tell them that it's not their fault your parents fight and that lots of parents fight. Explain that its okay to be scared andthey can always talk to you. No matter how young they are, do taht whether they are liek a couple of months or a couple of years being comforting always helps even if they don't understand.
Then talk to your parents. Sit them down one day and tell them calmly that you understand that all people fight, but you dont think its right that they fight when you guys are around. Tell them that if they need to fight they should go outside or at least in their bedroom. Tell them that you can't tell them how to run their life, but ask them if they think they should go to councilling or something.
This is a tough situation, and always remember its not your fault. If you need any help, go talk to a teacher at school or another adult and they can maybe help with the situation. Good luck, and I hope I helped, Love ya,
Angie91
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Lately all I want to do is cry. But I can't cry, it's a sign of weakness, right? But I'm not sad, I'm just.....I don't know. Have I held in my tears to long? I never cry when needed, because I don't have a shoulder to cry on(friend). If I cry at school, they will ask me what's wrong, but after I'm done crying they are just going to treat me like crap again, and if I cry at home, well I can't because I have to be a good rolemodle for my autistic brother, I can't just break down and cry! So i have no where to go to cry. What should I do? I don't know if I'll break down at home or school, all I know is that I'm going to have to cry sooner or later. (link)
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Hey!
I totally get what you mean. Sometimes we go through phazes where we just dont feel like we can go on any longer. And sometimes the best way to get it out is to cry. Yeah sometimes its going to feel like you're not supposed to cry, but you have to once in a while. Everyone does. And with any emotion, keeping it inside just isnt very healthy. So do some of the things other people said liek take a long relaxing shower or watch a sad movie and see where that takes you. Taking a deep breath is awesome too someone mentioned that I think just do whatever it takes to make you feel okay, and sometimes that means letting it all out and crying.
There are lots of places to cry, someone said the bathroom, thats a good last resort, but its also kinda depressing. Your room before you go to sleep is okay, go to a movie theatre, its dark and no one can see you just watch the movie and think about your feelings.
Sometimes all of the places and all of the things dont work, and you have to get your emotions out some other way, the way to do taht is to use your creativity, draw a picture write a poem, or keep a journal (I recomend the last one highly) let everything out. Read a book (or write one :P) do something that makes you happy. but hey, angie, thats not going to help me cry, you say, but sometimes the things that make you happy, lket you release that bit of emotion you need to get out and help you to feel just alittle bit better.
If all of that doesnt work, and you need another way to get it all out, write it out, write a letter to anybody (you can write it to me if you want), you dont have to send it, just write it to explain what your life is like and dont read it. Just write everything. It can be a page or a book. whatever it takes to make you get every single little thing out. And you'll probably find that in the end most of the feelings will be anger. And later in life a few months from now, if you still feel this way read over it and write some more. And then take the stuff you read and try and find ways to fix this. If its loneliness, join a club and make friends if its feelings sorry for yourself (about your brothers autisim and your parents not paying as much attention to you as him,) then try ad talk to someone about it.
If you're having problems at school try and figure out why and how to change them because sometimes a new outlook on things will help.
Remember this, no matter how hard life can get or how much you just want to give up and let it all loose you are important, and people care about you. Not just your parents or siblings, but people here too. People wouldnt answer your question if they didnt care, people wouldnt talk to you at school if they didnt care. There are lots of people who care about you.
And yeah it might happen, you might break down, but if you do, don't worry about people being mad at you, or getting uncomfortable about it, its life and no one can change you and who you are, when things happen out of control, sometimes its a sign somethings wrong, and maybe it will get you the help you need.
I really hope I helped, if you need anything, I'm here. Love ya,
Angie91
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15 f
my mom is so mean lately she comes from work and all she wants to do is argue. so lately ive been going out alot with m my friends, that bothers her!! all i do is go to their house i dont do anything bad! she always talks bad to me if i ask her a simple question she would just answer me so roudly. i cant take it anymore! so she always tries to find things to argue with me about. she told me i can never go out with my friends anymore. but seeing that tomorow is saturday my bestfriend invited me to go to her house and her mom also asked me to come. now i know my mom is going to say no. but what can i say or do to convicne her please help. i really wat to go to her house. i really need help. my mom is becoming meaner like every second. and i have tried to talk to her alot she doesnt listen and when i do try to talk to her she always gest mad and tells me that im changing or whatever. so please dont tell me to talk to her. i tried alot of times and it neevr works it just gets worse.
thanks
i rate (link)
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Hey!
I read alittle bit of the other answers, so I hope this doesnt repeat what they say. They both made good points, but I think that a) you need to stand up and not take what shes dishing out and b) you need to know that shes not doing this because she doesnt want you to grow up.
In this type of situation, you need to show that you are mature and handle it calmly.
Tell her that you were wondering if you could sit down and talk with her, tell her that your friend invited you to go over to her house and you would really love to go, but if she has a specific reason for you not to go, then you're willing to be mature about it and not go. and see what she says.
Soon after that, not the same day not the next day but a few days after ask her to sit down again. Give her half an hour or so to calm down and destress (and for future refrence don't talk to your mom for over half an hour after she gets home from work, if she says hi how are you, say hey, I'm good, but nothing else. Wait a little while and then try and talk to her.) Then after a while try and tell her that you want to have a good relationship with her. Tell her you love her and you want to be able to talk to her about things, but at the moment she is bringing her stresses from work home with her. Tell her you bring your stresses from school home at times, but thats really not a good idea, so suggest that if you are stressed, just say I'm alittle stressed out right now, can we talk about this later, and then when you're destressed, make an effort to go back to the conversation. Tell her that you're sorry for the times you may have brought stress home, and you hope that in the future you both can keep your home as stress free as possible because its not fair to bring it out on the people around you.
Now, the first person announced that she thought that the reason that your mother gets upset about you going out was because she doesnt want you to grow up. Thats not true, shes glad you're growing up, the problem is that she misses you when you'e gone, and she feels that she doesnt get to spend as much time with you, so the best way to counteract that, is to ask her to clear an evening, say tuesdays. And spend the evening shopping, or make it movie night or join a bowling team. Find something that the two of you can share once a week and that way when you want to see your friends you can and when she wants to go out, now that you're old enough you can hang out by yourself too. Like when ever your mom goes out and leaves you alone for an evening, thats how it feels for her. And you probably go out with your friends 10x more than she goes out with hers, and yeah its because youre a kid and shes an adult, but it doesnt mean she doesnt want a life.
I hope that answered your question, let me know if you need anything else, I'm in the same situation,
love ya,
Angie91
Btw, this isnt a knock at you at all, but for the amount of people on this site that care about the ratings, there are double that in people who dont, and I'm one of those, in most cases, I dont even answer questiosn where they say I rate fives or I rate or anything, but I wanted to help you because I care and I think that thats the point of this site, so you can put I rate in other questions, but I think in most cases you'll get the people who care if you just ask, you'll get the people who care About Ratings, if you say I rate. I hope that gives you a little insight into that, please don't take offense or anything, I just wanted to explain :D.
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Ok. So, i'm 14/f. and this is kinda a long story, i'll try to make it as short as i can. so when my mom was 18 (she is 37 now) she had a baby. She didn't mean to or anything, but its just one of those kinda things that happend. She knew that she couldn't take care of her, so she gave her to a family that couldn't have a baby. So yeah, my mom told me about all of this when i was about 10 i think, and now i'm 14, obviously. lol. anyways, the agentcy (sp) that my mom went through to give her baby to another family had some rules. and one of them was that my mom and her baby, Becky, couldn't meet until Becky was 18, and until she was ready. Well just the other day they got to talk for the first time over the fone cause Becky is 20 or somethin now. well, she told my mom that she wanted to talk to me sometime, and that she really wanted to be like a sister to me. but i'm not really sure if i'm ready to just let my "sister" come into my life. i mean, one day she talkes to my mom and she just comes into the family? they haven't even met yet! and now my mom is talking about how she could come on vacation in the summer, and how Becky and i could go shopping together and stuff like that. and i'm just like wth? and Becky told my mom that she wanted to talk to me over the fone sometime, but what the heck do i talk to her about? am i blowing this way out of proportion, or not? idk what to do or think. help!! thanx!! (link)
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Hey!
Kay, I have a half sister too. Shes 15 years older than me and we dont really have that great of a relationship. we share a dad, and he tries to get us to spend time together but we just dont. I resent her for not taking that part in my life that I wish she did and I also resent her for waiting so long to realize that I'm her little sister and I deserve the same attention she gives her other half sister and half brother. I drive by her house ever couple of days and see her outside with her kdis and it drives me crazy. So first of all, be thankful your sister wants to meet you, but I'm not being one of those people whose liek you have family you should love them, because I know that I should be making an effort to see my sister when I drive by al the time, and I dont, so I know where you stand.
Tell your mom that you arent ready for a major family change and that you want to take it slow. Then when you talk to Becky was it? tell her that you'd like to get to know her, but you arent comfortable with doing it really fast. Tell her that you want to get to know her, but maybe only once or twice a month for the first little while. Tell yuor mom you cant do a vacation yet and that you just want a nice slow start and that when youre ready for this kind of thing you'll tell her when you are.
As far as talking to becky, start by telling her about your life and your friends and school small talk stuff that you'd tell a boyfriend or someone new in your life. Tell her your favourite colour your eye colour your hair colour funny storie about your friends things youd tell a sister, becaus ethis way you can give her that little sister she's always wanted and also get o know her a bit. Ask her questions like when she found out she was adopted and what its like finding ehr mom. Take an intrest in her life.
After two or three phone conversations go out shopping or to lunch and talk somemore.
Remember thatyou can take this as slowly as you want and that you can treat her like a new friend or a new guy or some random person whose going out to lunch with you. It will be along time before she is like that sister that you've spent your entire life with, but it's a start.
You arent blowing this out of proportion and don't worry about how you're feeling its completely natural, and you can set the pace dont worry. Let me know if you want to talk or you want some help with ideas on what to talk about, good luck,
Angie91
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why do you think people can be cruel to those they love the most? (link)
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I think its because they are hurt. Once people get to a realization that they arent going to get what they want the most they realize that its not right for this person to get al of the power, so they begin to act on revenge. It's not right, because they think that they are moving on when actually they arent so its kind of hurting them more. But some people dont realize that and all they want to do is hurt the one who hurt them.
Or they have a perfect image of the one they love, and the person isnt meeting those standards so they feel that they have to punish that person.
There are lots of reasons people can hurt the people they love, sometimes you just have to talk with them and ask them, but sometimes its almost chronic. It depends ont he situation and the people involved. Hope I answered your question, love ya,
Angie91
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13/f. i loved butterflys 2 years ago and have never had a boyfriend so my mom said i was a lesbian. and she wasnt joking or anything. now i like black and dark colors she says im gothic and she says goths like peircings~i have had both my ears double peirced for about 4 years~and now since she says im gothic which im not she took all my earings and made me take out my earings to make them close up. she reads my diary and makes sure about wat i do or think or anything my friends do or just everything and makes sure i do nothing bad. so one day i wrote in my diary 'mom since your reading this and i no you will leave me alone i hate you i always have u give me no space' i got grounded for a month and she told every1. she doesnt have to read it and espesially not tell my whole family and cusins. its my diary shouldnt it be private? did i do sumthing wrong or what? (link)
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Well, I know it sucks, but I think you need to give in to your mom. You're thirteen, so you still have a few years in her house, therefore, you have to abide by her rules. I think that you should talk to her for a while one day and see what her rules are. How she expects you to act, and see if you can try and push those lines a little so that you are able to be happy.
However, sometimes that doesnt work. If so, you should still take the high road, and be respectful of her. She may say you're a goth or whatever, just calmly tell her that you don't feel that you are representing yourself in that way, but you understand that that is how she feel and you will take that into concideration when you are choosing your outfit tomorrow. As far as the diary, there are two ways you can go, there is one where you are honest, and write about how you feeling, but do not include her in anyway, and only include the parts that are adult friendly, ~OR~ can have a diary that is adult friendly, write your important parts of your day such as when you got an A on a test, or when someone complimented you, talk about the guys you like or what you want to do tomorrow, but don't write the things that you don't want her to hear. Then in a separate journal write the things that make you upset, things you did that you need to write to let off steam. Put those entries in a notebook that looks like a school notebook and fill the first ten pages with notes from school. Then write a subject such as science on the front, then put some pages from school such as a test you did well on, or an assignment and stuff and put it in a drawer that you often go in, so it doesnt seem too obvious, or you could even carry it in your backpack, because it looks like a subject notebook, but you have to be careful who looks through your notebooks.
You have to remember, that she's your mom, and it's her job to take care of you and watch out for you. Yeah she was out of place telling people things about you, but if you open up to her about little things, such as a crush or a test mark you didnt like, then write about how great it felt to talk to her about it, in your diary, when she reads it, she'll realize you just want positive attention. Try your hardest to handle this situation sith grace, and try not to be disrespectful, or get annoyed, because then it will clue her into the fact that you actually are deceiving her. You have to admit, it is hard being a parent when your kid doesnt talk to you, wears scary clothes and writes that she hate you in her diary. Like I totally understand why you did that, and it's your choice, but she has a need to protect you, and she feels-well I don't know what she feels, thats your job to find out. Try your hardest to open up and have a good relationship with your mother, because you'll need that relationship one day. And it's better if you work hard on it now. You didn't do anything wrong, but try and remember, your mom thinks she knows best and she's been through this kind of stuff before, she just doesnt want to lose you. I hope that I gave you some insight. If you need any more advice on how to try and get her to know that you really are a good kid, let me know. Love ya,
angie91
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Hi my names kc and my parents gotta divorce about 7 years ago. However, my brother now hates my dad, he never wants to go with him, and he sticks up the middle finger at him which is wrong cos hes only 12. My mom doesnt do anything about it she can careless? Im the only one who goes with my dad on the weekend but i have a better time with him because my mom always argues and is so negative (link)
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Okay, well I'm not 100% sure what the question is, but I'm going to try and answer it anyway, because my parents divorced about seven years ago as well. I don't have any siblings, but I always hate it when my mom talks about my dad badly. She did it so often that I began talking badly about my dad as well. But then I realized that he's part of my family, and though he and my mom aren't really together anymore, I have to make my own effort to be with him and have a relationship with him, and make my life more than just a guy I have to see once a week. I love my dad a lot, and I'm sure you do too.
Okay, well as far as your brother, there is almost nothing you can do, you can tell him how you feel and think of it this way, say some guy at school stuck up the middle finger to your best friend, you would stand up for her, so next time your brother talks disrespectful of your father tell him that it is extremely rude of him to do that, and that until he appologizes you will not speak to him, because he is being disrespectful, and he doesnt deserve to have a relationship with you if he can't have a relationship with his father. He'll probably be like most little brothers and try and force you to talk to him, but speak to him the way you would someone at school you don't really like. Just some guy who you don't really care about.
Once he realizes that he has to be respectful around you, or he wont have a relationship with his sister, then he'll try and speak polietly. I mean you can't change how your brother acts, but you can tell him when he goes to far, and just try and show him how he needs to act in order to have your respect.
As far as going to your dads every weekend alone, it kinda sucks, but think of it this way, at your mom's yor brother has a lot of the attention, but if you are at your dad's alone then you will have all of his attention pointed at you.
I'm not sure if I answered your question, but if you want some more help, just let me know! Love ya,
Angie91
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I know that this a problem I'm having, but I think that it has more to do with my mom because she keeps sticking words in my mouth. yesturday, she told me that all she wanted for christmas was for me to wear this stupid shirt that i hate more than you can ever imagine. i told her no and i told her that it's silly. i know its really mean and its not true but i told her that i didn't get what i waanted for christmas. and i was just mad at her because i told her i hate that shirt. so, she assumed that i was talking aboout school because i do hate my school. and then we got into a huge fight. today, i have my period and i was crying because i get really bad cramps, and she told me that i was really crying about school. i'm tired of her sticking words in my mouth and i know that she hates how i hate my school and she never wants to talk about school, so now she's taking it out on me, and i've had it because i've stopped mentioning school to her. I know how much it upsets her and I'm tired of fighting with her, but if she keeps sticking words in my mouth, how can i get anywhere with her? (link)
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Often parents will put words in their kids mouths because they have been through this sortof thing before, but what they often do not realise is that times have changes since they were a teenager. So the best way for you to explain is for you to tell he rhow you feel. And if she continues to put words in your mouth when you are talking, (I know it sounds silly, but sometimes weird things are the things that work) make a "talking stick" like you had in preschool, lol, so that you can both say what you want and not get interupted.
It is important to have a strong relationship with your mother when you are young, because you need to be able to have that person to be your confident and rolemodel, and most of all, the one who is there for you on a daily basis. You are going to have to "deal with her" ( or "spend time with her") for the rest of your lives, you might as well make those years the best ones because theres only one mom out there for you and you can't get a new one now, and I think if you spend time trying to understand where she is coming from, you wont want a new one.
Understand that she is human too, and she makes mistakes, she has feelings, she has worries, doubts and believes, but they may be different from yours, and if you talk to her about that hopefully you can come to an understanding.
Also, like the talking stick, there are other ways to keep the conversation going, or at least get it started. I saw is seventeen magazine the other day a "coupon" that yopu can use if you want to have the sex talk with your parents. And what you can do is make up a coupon with some information about what you want to talk about and put some advice on the back about being calm, telling them to schedual a couple of hours etc. there are millions of other ways to get to your mom so that the two of you can talk, and if you google it, I'm sure you will be able to find some information, and cute ways liek the coupon to talk to your mom about important issues.
I hope that I helped to give you an idea of what you are experiencing, from an outsiders perspective, Its good that you came here and asked for help, and don't be afraid to ask others outside of the argument to give you their opinions, keeping everything inside not only sucks royally, but it also isnt very healthy. So if you need help in the future don't be afraid to ask (but hopefully, you'll have your mom to go to that for!!) Good luck, and I truely hope I helped. Lots of Love, Angie91
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ok i used to go to school with this guy in like grade 5 and im now in grade 12. I never spoke to him but i found his email and added him and we've been talking casually. The thing is i always remember liking him and i found we have a lot in common now that we've grown. I dunno what to do though...i know we have to meet in person and we live in the same town, but i dont know im kinda afraid lol, i dont know what to say and i would love for this to grow into more, help me and my shyness! Hes invited me to go visit him in the mall where he works and i went and i saw him but i was stupid and i didnt go in lol, i really dont know what to do or say cause im SO SHY! Help, thanks:D (link)
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I think that you should go with a friend, and go casually into the place where he works and be like, oh I forogt you worked here. And talk abit, and see if he wants to hang with you and your friend after work, and then your friend can get "sick" and leave, and then you can just hang with im a bit.
You should plan a lot of different things to say before you go, and that way if there is one of those awkward silences where no one has any idea what to say, you can throw in one of those planned topics.
No matter how many times you think this over in your mind, it is never going to turn out the same way, so don't stress over it too much.
Don't try and move too fast, just casually flirt and stuff, and then maybe he will get the picture. If he doenst, then keep trying to build up the confidence to ask him out on a date. But for the first little while, I think that you should just try to keep it simple untill you know how he feels. Good luck with your friend. Hope I helped, If you have anymore questions, feel free to ask. Lots of love,
Angie91
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15/f. every year for Christmas my family goes crazy trying to think of good christmas presents for my grandparents. they are really hard to buy for, because if you ask them what they want they say that they don't need anything, but we have to get them something. and when we do come up with really good ideas they never even use the presents. so this year i was thinking of making them homemade presents so that they would mean more. but i have no clue what to make. any suggestions would really help! thanks
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Thats a great idea! You should definatly do that. Now what to make... You could try making a picture frame and decorate it, and put a picture of you and them, or you and you siblings (if you have siblings) in it. Or, you could make a christmas ornament, I don't know what would be good, but if you go on google you will definatly find something. You could make some artwork. Sometimes things that are super simple to make look amazing. You could find something that they gave you, and like frame it (I saw this on Oprah, this girl framed a feather that her late husband had given her, it was sooo sad, but looked completely spectacular on her wall) but if you don't have that kind of talent (Don't feel bad, I doubt that I do) you could frame something you find at the store, or make a collage of your family (like your parents when they were little, you when you were growing up, your parents wedding, something like that,) and frame it. Or if you are super artistic (cool! I wish I was you!) then you could maybe draw something or paint something. Like their house, or their backyard or something super cool like that.
No matter what they are going to love it, I know all grandparents say that, and it's true, they will love it, but if it is something that you work hard to make, they will love it ten billion times more.
No matter what you make if you put your heart in it, they'll treasure it forever. Good luck, maybe you'll find the hidden artist in you (or if it's not hidden, this is a great chance to show it off,) I hope I gave you an idea! Love, Angie91
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I need help telling my mom that sometimes i am abused by my father for the stupidest reasons when she is at work. I feel very shy to tell her and i dont know if i tell her that the effect of me telling her will hurt my families future. i am the 2nd oldest of 4 kids and i am the one that gets hit by my dad the most. the other sumblings rarely are touched. my dad has very vast mood swings and once he ill be very nive nad a few minutes later he is going crazy.
i dont know what to tell my mom about this.
please help me. (link)
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This is a very sensitive subject, but you HAVE to tell someone, wether it be your mom, a friends mom, or another adult. It is very important that you get out of an abusive situation immeadiately.
You can not worry about how this will effect your family, you are not at fault for this, he is, and it doesnt matter if he doesnt hit your siblings, he hits you, and thats one too many. It doesnt matter if he has mood swings you should be hit. And you're right, your mom probably has absoulutely no idea, because shes at work, but thats okay it is up to you to tell her.
I think that you should try and ease into it one day when he isnt home. Tell her whats going on, but if she denies it or starts to get upset, dont say anything more. I think that you should talk to an adult that you trust first, so that if something happens and your mom gets upset, or your father gets agressive, then someone else knows what is going on and maybe what to do.
I'm glad that you are starting to voice your fears, but a bunch of teenagers, can not tell you how to solve this situation. You need to speak to an adult about this. there are many people you can contact if you do not know any adults that can help.
You can talk to a councler at school, or look for the posters. I don't know where you live, and the resources available there, but if you live in Canada, we have kids help phone, and www.kidshelpphone.ca there is also teentouch.org. If you og to gogle and search, I'm sure you can find some resources in your area.
I realize that I didnt really answer your question, but I think that there aren't very many answers to that question, you have to say what you need to say, it depends on your mom's personality, how you are going to say it, but if you talk to your friends and talk to adults I'm sure that you will be able to find a way to tell your mom, and get help. No one deserves to be abused, and you are very strong, to be able to come out and talk about this. I wish you good luck, and I hope that I pointed you in the right direction to help you with this situation.
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I'm a 15 year old girl from Ks. Ok, so my mom is gone on business for 2 months, and I am left at home with my 3 lazy bros. My dad always tells ME to do everything. I'm always the one to clean, cook, do the laundry etc. Any advice on what to say WITHOUT sounding disrespectful? I need advice ASAP! (link)
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Ok, well you could try telling your dad that you aren't going to do all of the work, but if that doesnt work, because I know if it were my dad, it probably wouldnt work, but you can also try to do a few things around the house, and leave a few things for your brothers. if they really need it done, I'm sure they'll get off their lazy behinds and fix it. Do the improtant things in your life first, and then try and do somethings for them, but remember that is okay to say that you have other things to do besides house work. Part of the reason he is putting all of the work on you is because you are a girl, and he can trust you to do it, but he is probably pretty stressed, and he can't deal with things not getting done on time, and by telling your brothers to do it, he probably gets lazy answers where as you probably actually try and do what he asks. I still think you should try an tell him how you feel, but in some cases it doesnt work, so my best suggestion would be to think, there are only a few weeks left till mom comes home. its probably really hectic for him too, so just keep that in mind. good luck, I hope this helped.
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well be aunt and uncle just died in a car crash leaving 3 boys ages 3, 5, and 9. i am really sad about it and all of the sudden will have a breakdown. anything i should do to try and get over it or comfort their boys? the 3 year old is constantly asking questions about his mom. thanks! (link)
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hey,
thats really hard, I think that its okay to feel upset and even cry when you arent around the boys, but when you are arounbd the you need to help keep their minds off of it. Try your hardest to spend one on one time with each of your cousins, especially the nine year old, because most likely he is trying to cope with this loss, as well as staying strong infront of his younger siblings. everyone is probably telling him to be strong and stuff, and he probably thinks that he cant let his emotions go. you should keep an eye out for him, and try your hardest to make sure that he has someone to talk to if he needs help.
i'm sorry for your loss. i hope i helped. good luck!!
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ok well my parents have split and my dad wont takl to me.He said that it would be best if we didn't talk Bu thow am i supost to life without talking to the one other person who gave me life? (link)
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wow yeah thats stupid. my dad is sorta the same he doesnt know how to keep up communication with me. but i call him every day and force him to talk to me. my mom has some disabilities and my dad has to spend time with me when shes in the hospital, but as far as everyday life, sometimes dads are idiots and you just have to be the one to make the relationship work. tell him that you need him. It's his responsibility as your father to spend time with you wether he likes you or not. and you can always try talking to your mom or your grandparents or other family to see what they say. I'm sure that if you tell your dad that you cant live without him that he'll understand. goodluck i hope this helps.
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