|
my mom...omg please help
15 f
my mom is so mean lately she comes from work and all she wants to do is argue. so lately ive been going out alot with m my friends, that bothers her!! all i do is go to their house i dont do anything bad! she always talks bad to me if i ask her a simple question she would just answer me so roudly. i cant take it anymore! so she always tries to find things to argue with me about. she told me i can never go out with my friends anymore. but seeing that tomorow is saturday my bestfriend invited me to go to her house and her mom also asked me to come. now i know my mom is going to say no. but what can i say or do to convicne her please help. i really wat to go to her house. i really need help. my mom is becoming meaner like every second. and i have tried to talk to her alot she doesnt listen and when i do try to talk to her she always gest mad and tells me that im changing or whatever. so please dont tell me to talk to her. i tried alot of times and it neevr works it just gets worse.
thanks
i rate
[ ]
Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Families?
Hey!
I read alittle bit of the other answers, so I hope this doesnt repeat what they say. They both made good points, but I think that a) you need to stand up and not take what shes dishing out and b) you need to know that shes not doing this because she doesnt want you to grow up.
In this type of situation, you need to show that you are mature and handle it calmly.
Tell her that you were wondering if you could sit down and talk with her, tell her that your friend invited you to go over to her house and you would really love to go, but if she has a specific reason for you not to go, then you're willing to be mature about it and not go. and see what she says.
Soon after that, not the same day not the next day but a few days after ask her to sit down again. Give her half an hour or so to calm down and destress (and for future refrence don't talk to your mom for over half an hour after she gets home from work, if she says hi how are you, say hey, I'm good, but nothing else. Wait a little while and then try and talk to her.) Then after a while try and tell her that you want to have a good relationship with her. Tell her you love her and you want to be able to talk to her about things, but at the moment she is bringing her stresses from work home with her. Tell her you bring your stresses from school home at times, but thats really not a good idea, so suggest that if you are stressed, just say I'm alittle stressed out right now, can we talk about this later, and then when you're destressed, make an effort to go back to the conversation. Tell her that you're sorry for the times you may have brought stress home, and you hope that in the future you both can keep your home as stress free as possible because its not fair to bring it out on the people around you.
Now, the first person announced that she thought that the reason that your mother gets upset about you going out was because she doesnt want you to grow up. Thats not true, shes glad you're growing up, the problem is that she misses you when you'e gone, and she feels that she doesnt get to spend as much time with you, so the best way to counteract that, is to ask her to clear an evening, say tuesdays. And spend the evening shopping, or make it movie night or join a bowling team. Find something that the two of you can share once a week and that way when you want to see your friends you can and when she wants to go out, now that you're old enough you can hang out by yourself too. Like when ever your mom goes out and leaves you alone for an evening, thats how it feels for her. And you probably go out with your friends 10x more than she goes out with hers, and yeah its because youre a kid and shes an adult, but it doesnt mean she doesnt want a life.
I hope that answered your question, let me know if you need anything else, I'm in the same situation,
love ya,
Angie91
Btw, this isnt a knock at you at all, but for the amount of people on this site that care about the ratings, there are double that in people who dont, and I'm one of those, in most cases, I dont even answer questiosn where they say I rate fives or I rate or anything, but I wanted to help you because I care and I think that thats the point of this site, so you can put I rate in other questions, but I think in most cases you'll get the people who care if you just ask, you'll get the people who care About Ratings, if you say I rate. I hope that gives you a little insight into that, please don't take offense or anything, I just wanted to explain :D.
]
Hi.
It sounds to me like it might just be a matter of your mom being stressed out and is taking it all out on you.
I think next time before she gets back make her a drink (as long as it's not alcoholic because that won't help stress at all) so she has that to come home to. Ask her how her day/work was. I know she's been giving you a lot of grief all of a sudden but judging by it started happening recently and she is like that when she gets back from work it may just be stress.
No matter how much crap she dishes out to you just try and take it and be there for her. It may seem like she doesn't see it at first but eventually she will notice and see that what she is doing is wrong.
Alternatively, since talking to her isn't working, try writing her a note. Write it for her and put it somewhere where she will eventually pick it up and read it (her bed would be a good place). Or just give it to her when she's sitting down at some point. Tell her you do love her and care about her and that you're worried about her and how she's been recently and how you both seem to argue which you really don't want anymore. Tell her you want to be there for her if something is wrong because she's your mom and you love her. It may sound corny but it may be the way to get through to her so you can find out what's really going on.
Failing that you could always talk to your friends mom about this so she could talk to your mom although that may be something you want to leave as a total last resort as it could backfire - your mom may not appreciate that you have been talking to other people about 'family matters'. I think shes just very stressed out and if it does get worse she may need to seek council or professional help to deal with it.
I'm sorry I can't really be of much more help than this.
]
I go through this all the time. Your mom doesnt want you to grow up. She wants you to be her kid forever and she realizes you are growing up but doesnt want to believe it. All mom's do it and they always will. If she wont let you go out dont become rash because it will just make the process of growing up worse for you. if she says no take it calmly and dont make it dramatic. She may not be fair she may even be rediculous but it doesnt matter she is your mom and what she says goes. I wont say try talking to her because that never works but just give her space because she probly has alot going on at work that she doesnt tell you about and its making her even more stressed. And trust me if you dont end up going there is next weekend. I have learned that one oh so many times. Just deal with her she's a big teenager who is filled with more drama and arguing than most real teenagers.
]
More Questions: |