Miss_Lily's advice column | Miss_Lily's Advice About Families

askMiss_Lily

advice column ask question view feedback favorite columnist advicenators

Q: sorry is this is long but I really need help so please don't skip over it
Ok my parents have been divorced my whole life I don't even know who my dad is. Well my mom has serious problems with finding guys. They usually beat her or cheat on her. I've had about a dozen stepfathers and all of them treat her like shit and she doesn't deserve that. Well my newest stepfather Richie has been with my mother for 2 years now and she is really happy with him. I've never seen my mom this happy before. He is soo nice to her. But the thing is he has a son (my stepbrother) who is constantly hitting me and raping me. I tried talking to my mom about it and she said that she would talk to my stepdad and my stepbrother. She did and then it stopped for a little while but then he did it again and it was even worse than it was before. He had a couple of his friends over and they thought that it would be fun to beat and rape his 14 year old step sister. I talked to my stepdad and he told me to stop making things up. He told my mother that I was making things up and they sent me to a shrink. Needless to say my stepbrother continued to do these things to me. I confronted my mother again and she told me to talk to my stepdad. I did and he told me that I was lying and that even if I wasn't I needed to get over it because we are a happy family and we all have to make sacrifices I told him that that was wrong and he hit me! Now he's been hitting me too when my mom isn't around. I don't know what to do. She is soo happy and she deserves to be. I don't want to ruin this for her. My question is should I just deal with this so that she can be happy or is there anyway that I can get help without ruining this for her?

You need to report your mom, stepfather and stepbrother to the police. There is no other way around it. No one has to be hit or raped just so the family can pretend to be happy. How could your mother keep you in this situation just because she thinks she has found the man of her dreams. You are her daughter, her flesh and blood. You came before these people and now she is letting them use you just because hse is happy? Your mom has some serious mental problems and you don't deserve to be in a house like that. If you have any relatives that are close to you that you are close to, tell them what is happening. Let them know what is going on and for how long it has been going on. If not, then talk to a teacher or counselor at school. No one has the right to hit and beat on you just because they can, and no one has the right to force you into sex. And now that you are pregnant, you have a child that you need to think about. Is this the kind of situation that you want your child in? This matter is out of your hands and now you need to let someone else take care of it.

Q: My dad died a month ago and ever since then my mom's been really happy. They used to fight all the time and they were going to get divorced because of it. But ever since he died she's been soo happy and she's been going out with all of these different guys most of which hit me or her. If I ever even mention my dad or I cry about it she starts screaming at me and telling me that I'm a pathetic baby. I loved my dad he was soo good to my mom he tried so hard to make it work between the two of them for me and my older sister (she moved out before he died). I hate my mom she's put us through so much and I just can't stand her. So recently I've been staying with some of my friends a lot and I tried LSD. It was really great and it helped me a lot just to get away from everything that's been going on. I've heard all the horror stories about drugs but I just can't believe that they would be true. Well my question is is there anyway for me to get away from my mom so I don't have to deal with her always being a bitch to me and hitting me? And are drugs really as bad as people make them out to be or are the stories just bullshit like they are for LSD?

There are so many things going on in this question that I will address them one at a time.

First of all, your mom situation. I don't care who she is dating, but she has no right to let the guys she date hit on her let alone you. You are her child, and she has a duty to protect you. You need to talk to someone that you are close to in your family or in your community. Let them know what is going on. You shouldn't have to stay in a living situation that is unstable. If you are close to your older sister, talk to her.

Second of all, doing any kind of drugs is bad for you. Believe me, the stories that you hear are NOT bullshit, otherwise they wouldn't be out there. There are many kids out there suffering from the after and long term affects of doing drugs. Do your research. If you think LSD is safe, then think again.

And last, your dad. I am so sorry to read that he passed away, but this doesn't give your mom a right to go into celebration mode. She should be respectful of your feelings and the love that you had for your dad, regardless of the way that she felt. You should talk to a counselor at school about your dad's death, and you should be allowed to mourn properly over him.

I hope that you find yourself in a healthier situation soon. Take care.

Q: I have been living with my aunt carla for 5 years now, and about 2-3 months ago her 2 older boys moved out.. when they did me and my aunt got along really good , but about a month ago both of them moved back.. now i always fight w/ her and i cant stand it.. she gets stressed over my 2 cousins that moved back and expects me to do everything in the house because 'the boys are lazy ' but i always say ' they live here, just like i do , they should also do stuff to help out ' and my aunt was like they both work.. but now one of my cousins quit his job and all he does is put my aunt in a bad mood & so that makes her always mad @ me ! ne ways.. my aunt carla wants me to move in with my aunt barbara.. i love my aunt barbara, and get along with her so much better but she doesnt seem like shes in a good finanical place right now... another reason why i dont like it where i live is that if i wana go out in my back yard and tan one of my cousins will come out and say im fat and all this other stuff, like im a whore ! it brings me down alot, even though it shouldnt.. but if i lived with my other aunt i wouldnt have that problem.. i love my aunt carla, but i cant stand living with her sons any more.. any advice ?

I suggest that you do two things here. First of all, you need to talk to your Aunt Carla when her sons aren't around. Let her know that you enjoyed the time that you and her have spent together, and that you really appreciate everything that she has done for you, but you have noticed that she has been treating you differently since her sons have moved back in the house. Let her know that you don't mind helping around the house and doing your share, but you don't think it fair that you have to pick up her sons slack too. In all honesty, you need to be honest with your aunt and let her know how you feel. Tell her about the comments her son has been giving you and how you see the situation.

The second thing I suggest you do is talk to your Aunt Barbara. Since you have a relationship with her also, and you don't see a negative besides her financial situation, then this might be the better option for your living situation. There is no need for you to place yourself in an unnecessary stressful living situation if you can get out of it. Let your Aunt Barbara know what is going on also, and go from there.

Q: Today, my family and I (14/m) were out playing sports. All was well for a while. Untill my lil brother started to misbehave and be uncooperative.I got vexxed, but i controlled my rage untill we got home.

At home, i was still vexxed.
(since my birthday is about a montn away)My mom asked me what i wanted for my birthday. I told her "i want my brother to be gone for my birthday. that would be the perfect gift."

She got vexx at me. so vexx she couldn't speak. Sheleft the room.

I went to look for her later and i found her crying. what i said really got to her emotionally. she just looked at me like everything was lost.

that look got to me. i am sorry i told her that.
but i dont know what to do.

What should i do?
i can't let her feel like she grew me up wrong- i am her 1st born. she will just give up with the others too.

please help.

The only thing you can do is apologize and wait for her to forgive you. Yes, what you said was wrong, but you are only human. Everyone's younger siblings make them cross. Have you ever tried to form a relationship with your younger brother and see where he is coming from? Let your mother know that you will try and form a better relationship with your brother and that she will never hear you say something so mean and spiteful again.

Q: ok i just found out that we might have to move, and if we do i wont be going to the same school. now heres the problem, we dont have the money to move or to stay in the house we have right now. so i dont want to move and im to young to work any where really.so what should i do?????????

Unfortunately you do not have a say so in this situation. Just because you don't want to move doesn't mean that you can stay in a place that your parents cannot afford. The best thing for you to do in this situation is to get all of your friends contact information, (home and cell phone numbers, email and mailing addresses, AIM and messenger names, etc...,) and keep in contact with them through those means. Just because you don't go to school together doesn't mean that you all can't stay friends. Also, show your parents some support too. I am sure that this is a difficult process for them too, after all, they are leaving behind friends too. The only thing you can do in a bad situation is make the best out of it.

Q: Hello, I have recieved several threatening letters over the past year from my father. The threats include having me put in hospital, also stating that he has had a curse put on my daughter and myself to ensure that something bad happens to us, and general insults and abuse aimed at my wife daughter and myself. We have really had enough of this, is there anything I can do and should I go to the police ? I am convinced that he is going to pay someone to come and do physical harm to my family or myself. He is quite old and in a poor state of health, but is and has always been a very brutal person having caused misery and suffering over many years mainly to his wife and children. All I have done to promt these letters is to write to him listing his bad deeds over the years and telling him what I thaught of his behaviour, this was without any aimed insults from me. My letter to him was in response to further bad behavior on his part.

Yours and Best Regards

Daniel

Yes, you should go to the police as soon as possible. Any threat that is made to you or your families safety should be taken seriously and should have been reported a long time ago. She because your father is in a poor state of health does not limit him to the ways that he can hurt you. Already he is doing emotional and mental harm to you and your family. You should gather all of the letters that he has written to you, and go directly to the police station. Request an order of protection and a restraining order from him. Because he has been threatening you for over a year, other measures can be taken. (Depending on your states laws.) You need to be the safety and well-being of your family, the ones who care about you, first and let your father know that he can't get away with this.

Q: Ok first of all...this is really long but please read it because i really want some help. My dad has seemed to be a lot more meaner all of a sudden. Well hes always been mean sometimes but I mean hes just started to become physicaly mean. I was downstairs before because I was checking his email because a friend of mines mom was emailing him. So, I kept going down there to check it. (while he was on the phone down there) He started to get really annoyed and started yelling (like almost silently so of course the person on the phone couldnt hear him) and he just freaked out. He got off the phone with the person..and I walked passed him because I was going to go upstairs. He grabbed my arm and goes Whats your problem? And I said you! And hes like why? And I said nothing and attempted to go back upstairs. But he gripped me harder and it hurt because it was like squeezing my skin together and burning. Then he like grabbed my whole body and was pulling me towards him saying come onnn give me a hugg..Aliciaaa what is wrong. And he just wouldnt let me go upstairs. I was like uhh what the heck..whats so bad of me wanting to go upstairs? But yeah he just kept gripping onto me. And yeah I was of course trying to fight back and was quietly screaming. When I went upstairs my mom goes..what was going on down there? And I said dad wouldnt let me go..and he wouldnt let me go upstairs. She goes pff yeah right uh huh. And I was like he did!! didnt you hear me yelling?? He was gripping onto my arms. And she just kept saying riight im sure. And just now we were eating dinner in the living room and his business phone rang. He went and picked it up and goes..blah blah blah..then goes to go turn down the volume on the tv. And I go ooohh my goooshh..now we cant even eat dinner without you having to be involved with your business? (he is wayyy overly obsessed and its all he cares about..and no matter where we are he will always talk about it) He didnt answer me and gave the phone to my mom. Then he came over to me and did his little silent yelling thing and goes..you shut the h*ll up! And I go oh my gosh im just trying to eat dinner. And he just kept telling me to shut up. Then for some STUPID reason he grabbed my plate and took it out to the kitchen. I go oh my gosh what are you doing?? Now I cant even eat?!? He came back out to me and grabbed my arm tightly and it burned again and he pulled me out to the kitchen. He goes you eat this out here. Then I tried to leave the kitchen because I was going to go up to my room..but he wouldnt let me and just kept pushing me back. Then I finally went up to my room and slammed the door and locked it. He came up and got it unlocked and came in and goes..what the h*ll do you think your doing? Shes trying to talk on the phone and all your doing is yelling. I was like oh my gosh you were the one who was yelling and who started it. you didnt havvve to answer the phone..and even when were eating dinner! and hes like bulls**t blah blah blah. Then I kept saying..get out of my room! And I pushed him out. Now he keeps coming back up here and asking..did I leave the remote in here? and I go no...and he just stood there and then left. Then he came back up and was like it has to be in here...and then he searched all over. It was stupid because we both know he didnt bring it up here..and I was just like uhh what the heck?? He just seems to like to start fights and likes to keep bringing it back up. My mom doesnt believe what I say..mostly because I think she would be too scared to say anything to him. So, she just pretends to not believe it and doesnt do anything about it. He is not a alcoholic. He just gets mad easy and for stupid things. Do you think hes becoming abusive? What should I do??

You were a little rude and disrespectful in the way that you talked back to your father. If you would have just stopped talking back, and apologized for your actions, then all of that could have been avoided. That still doesn't give him the right to grab you like that. Talk to your father, and try to get an understanding to why he is so upset and angry lately. It could be that his business is what is stressing him out so much. Also, try talking to your mother again. Ask her if she has noticed your father acting differently and if there is anything going on with him and his business. Parent's are under a lot of stress, having to work and take care of children and pay bills. Try understanding where he is coming from.

Q: I have a cousin who puts my probles on here for the world to know! It's really annoying me..what should I do..I don't want to seem mean though..

Stop telling your cousin your problems. If you don't want other people to know what is going on in your life, then stop telling the person who doesn't seem to understand that. She should respect your privacy, but you should know when to say enough is enough.

Q: My mum and dad have had one of those 'loveless' relationships and now they have separated but theyre still living together. From what Ive been told my mum only married my dad because she was 31 and wanted to have kids. They were together for ages before they married.
My dad didnt treat my mum that good and when it came to bringing us up he left it down to her. He would never really look after us.
Anyways my mum told me that she started seeing her 'highschool sweetheart'. I dont know if theyre actually together together. I kinda had my suspitions before.
My mum asked if I would like to meet him. I said I didnt know. I told my boyfriend about the situation and he said why did u say that for, you shouldn't see him. My brother said the same thing.
I love both my parents a lot. My mum hasnt been happy for a very long time. Now she seems alot happier and that makes me feel happy. From what Ive heard he's nice guy. But I feel that if I see him or am nice to him then im gonna be kinda betraying my dad who knows nothing about it. Im really confused.

I think it would be wise for you to not see your mom's high school sweetheart right now. If your father finds out, he may see it as a form of betrayal to him. Your father and mother are still married, so therefor even though they don't act like a couple, legally they are. Since you love both of your parents, you need to explain to your mother that you are happy that she is happy, but you are not comfortable with meeting her partner until her and your father have finalized their seperation and have moved into seperate dwellings.

Q: so i leftmy binder in my dads truck and he read through one of my notebooks...a very private notebook i might add...he read how many guys ive had sex with and diifernt drugs ive tryed and shit like that...he told me this tonight as he pulled it out of his briefcase....and read me all the passages...how should i handle this...cuz hes not handling it too well...:/

There is no way to reverse the information he has found out. What you need to do is sit down and talk to him calmly and reasonably. Ask him if there is anything that he wants/needs to say to you. Even though you left your binder in your father's truck, that doesn't give him a right to invade your privacy and read your thoughts. But, if the notebook was so important, it shouldn't have been left around so carelessly also. The only thing left for you to do is suck up what has happened and learn from your mistakes. The worse thing for any parent to find out is that their innocent little girl is not so innocent nor little anymore. Your father is hurting right now, and he needs some time to process what he has discovered about you. Here's a tip for you: Why don't you trying keeping an online journal from now on instead of a written journal? That way you can password protect it from those who you do not want to see it, and you can have access to it from any computer. There are a lot of online journal sites that you can use.

Q: Hey, I hope you can help.

I went shopping at the mall today and my mom dropped me and a friend off. She never told us when she was picking us up. Apparently, since there was the daylight saving time change, I had a terrible perception of what time it was. It turned out that my mom had said 5:30 sometime before we picked up my friend. I finally got her call at about 7:15 and she was furious. She says that I'm incompetent and can't be trusted, both of which are untrue. How can I regain my mom's trust? THanks!!

You don't have to regain your mother's trust because it was never lost in the first place. You made an honest mistake that anyone could have made. Just sit your mother down and explain to her that you did not mean to make her wait so long. That because of the daylight savings time change, you thought it was much earlier then what it really was. Let her know that it was an honest mistake that could have, (and has been), been made by anyone, but that doesn't make you incompetent or untrustworthy. And here's a tip for next time, wear a watch with the minute hand set 10 minutes faster then what it really is. That way you can be the one waiting for your mother instead of it being the other way around.

Q: my family doesnt pay attention to me at all... its all about my perfect sisters... i used to wear one of my sisters clothes (bc i dont have any) and my mom was gonna buy me some clothes but she gave the money to my sister bc i ruined my sisters clothes and like my parents dont do crap for me im not tryin to be selfish but what should i do?

sorry for the writing I RATE 5'S!

Don't ever apologize for writing and asking for help. That is what most of us are here for, to give you advice to help you out.

The only suggestion I have is to talk to your parent's. If you are closer to one parent over the other, try talking to them first. Alone and in private. Let them know how you are feeling. Express to them your emotions and feelings as clear and as articulate as possible. Avoid whining or raising your voice. When you speak calmly too people, they take in more of the conversation. Let your parent know tha you feel excluded and left out in some ways. Explain to them that you feel as if they don't pay enough attention to you and you want to know why. Parents are human too, and most often, they don't realize that the way they are acting is hurting one of their children. Your parent's would never do anything to hurt you intentionally. Talking to them is the only thing that will fix this problem.

Q: don't bother reading if you can't manage, but 5's to any singly word of response because i really really need some advice here...

i have this twin sister- we're both 14- and she is really immature and selfish and just a totally disgusting and impossible person. sometimes i love her, but alot of times i could just explode! she is just so hard to take!

the main problems with her are that she is really into herself but at the same time extremely insecure and self-consious...and the second is that she just can NOT get over things...like tonight she was trying to get me to remember something by repeating like the same vague amature description over and over and I was like, OK I DON'T REMEMBER CAN WE DROP IT OR CAN YOU GIVE ME A BETTER CLUE?!?!

See its little stuff like that, but I just want to rip my brains our and throw them at her face!!!!!!!!!!! I HATE sharing things with her when I just don't really like her as a person...and she really harms me as a person, because I spend so much energy being infuriated at her or trying to ignore her pesty existence.

I really feel like we are the only people in this world that each other has, so we need to get along...but I just cannot tolerate her at ALL! Its like her brain is so many pages behind, and I can't stretch to reach her and make her stupid accomodations.

Is there any way I can coexist with her as a step towards actually liking her? There are some people in this world that I just cannot ever like, and that's okay, but I really don't want her to be one of them...and how can I vent my feelings in a healthy way? lol i've been sitting in my room screaming (literally) for the past 20 minutes...ew and I wouldn't do anything to hurt anyone so don't go there....

snaps to you for reading this!
xox and SOS

I understand exactly how you are feeling. I have a younger sister, and she is the exact same way as your sister. But for you, it is ten times as hard to deal with because she is your twin sister.

Communication is my key word in any relationship problem, and with her being your twin sister, this is probably one of the most important relationships in your life. Talk to your sister. Sit down with her in private and explain to her that you love her with all of your heart, but that there are some things about her that you don't understand or don't like. Let her know that you want to have her not only as your sister, but your best friend. Let her know that you don't understand her selfishness or the way that she acts. It could be that your sister doesn't even know that she is acting in an offensive way. You have to spend time with your sister and get to understand and know her as a person. Get into her head and learn what makes her act the way she does or do the things she does. Once you start treating her like a friend also, and not just a sibling, then that is when your relationship when your relationship with her will grow.

Q: Oh My GOd! My sister is so annoying, She Wears my clothes, wakes me up at 5:00 on the weekends, hits me, puts fake worms in my bed, Steals my C-D's, and my parents do NOTHING about it! HELP!

If your bedroom door has a lock on it, start locking your doors. That way, you can limit the amount of time she spends in your room. Have you sat down with your parents and had a serious talk with them about your sister when you are not mad? Tell them how it makes you feel when they ignore your sister's bad actions and your complaints about your sister. Tell them you feel as if they don't take you seriously, but her actions are really affecting you. Then talk to your sister. Let her know that what she is doing is really immature and uncalled for. Ask her how she would feel if someone were to do the same things to her. If all else fails, try giving your sister a taste of her own medicine. Maybe once you get her up at 4:00 on the weekends, and she starts finding fake things in her bed and missing CD's, she will stop.

Q: I recently went to an orthodontist and he said i needed to have braces on my top six teeth for six months to straighten it. Now my aunt takes her kids (my cousins) to this other ortho who does all the private school kids and she thinks that he is the best...she wants me to go to him and have a second opinion on my teeth..my mom disagrees..my mom doesn't think there's enough time to have a second opinion..now i'm stuck in the middle because my mom doesn't want to me to go but my aunt keeps yelling at me because she thinks the ortho that she goes to is soo much better! My mom was planning on getting me braces on april 15..but now that my aunt has gotten in the way, she wants to have the second opinion consultation on may 19! i don't know what to do because i am stuck in the middle!!!

I suggest you tell your mother and your aunt that you don't want to wait until May 19 for a second opinion and that you want to go ahead and get your braces put on. It is not your aunts job, nor is it her place, for her to yell at you. It is your teeth, and if you feel comfortable with what your orthodontist said, then you don't need a second opinion. You need to tell your mom that you don't appreciate your aunt yelling at you and that you would like it if she talked to her. Your aunt sounds like a control freak and she needs to be put in her place.

Q: i was out the other day and met my sisters mates who were drunke.ive always kinda nown that my sister is gay but i thought it was just a phase. they lat it slip that she was gay and she had a girlfriend.i havent talked about it to my sister yet and was wondering if anyone has been in my situation and what did they do.im not ashamed by it but im just shocked,do u think its still a phase? please get back to me soon. xx

No, I don't think this is a phase. Someone knows when he/she likes someone of the same sex. It is a feeling that has been with them for awhile, not one that just pops up one day. Just talk to her sister. If you want her to be open and honest with you, then you need to do the same for her. Talk to her and let her know that her friends accidentally slipped and told you something, and you just wanted to know if it was try. Tell her that you will love her no matter what, but you would rather know then to think about it as a rumor. Let her know that you are not ashamed of her sexuality, but that you are hurt that she didn't tell you about it. If your sister cares about you, she will tell you the truth.

Q: my friends brother is coming home from jail at the end of the summer.. her mom is always in a bad mood and her sister has to go to a psychologist because she has problems with her brother.. i feel so bad for my friend.. and she knows there are gonna be more problems when he comes home because her mom will want him to stay in the house and her dad will want him out and her brother never listens... i know its gonna be hard for her and i just want to help her.

The only thing that you can do for your friend right now is be just that, a friend. Listen to her when she needs to talk, be her shoulder when she needs to cry, hug her when she's said and pick her up when she's down. Let her know that your house is her sanctuary whenever she needs it. Invite her over for the weekend when you know that the pressure at her house is getting to be too much. Write her little pick-me up notes during the day when you know she has had a bad night. You can't fix her family problems, but you can devote a listening ear and a dedicated heart to her. I hope the situation with your friend doesn't get too bad.

Q: I feel so bad that my mama and me dont always get along. She's my real mom and we have an arguement like 75 percent of the time we're together. she usually starts it. she'll yell at me about my attitude. and i would yell at her and shell get all mad at me and i get mad at her. sometimes she comes to apologize. but one time i told her off when she was trying to apologize then she yelled at me and she doesnt apologize anymore. now when we argue, it wears off. sometimes i go 2 days without talking to her but i dont want to. i wish i could get along with her. the sad thing is that i really need her. i cant wish for her to go away because i need her no matter how much we dont get along. she just doesnt understand me she tries to help me but ends up making things worse and i know its not her fault we just argue more than we spend time together even when we are spending time together. im sorry this is so long but i dont know what to do. can somebody help me?

Then you need to make your mother listen to you. Sit her down and tell her exactly how you are feeling, and be strong about it. Let her know that you love her very much, and that all of this fighting between the two of you is hurting you a lot. Tel her that you miss the days when you and her didn't argue, and you wish that you and her could go back to them days. Let her know exactly how you feel, bare you soul. If you can communicate better in writing, then write her a very long and detailed letter. Mothers are human too, and sometimes when they make mistakes or hurt other people's feelings, they may not realize it and need to be told about it. It is good that you want a strong relationship mother, and hopefully after this talk or letter she will understand that.

Q: Hi! I have a hugeeee family. The number of people that live in my house is 12

You should definitely say something to your snooty cousin. Family is family, and she has no right to act the way she does. Talk to your mother and/or other cousins about it, and ask them if they noticed the way she was acting. Pull her aside today before the party starts and let her know how you feel about the way she acted last night towards your family members. Let her know that she was being rude and really mean and made other people around her uncomfortable. Ask her why she feels the need to brag about everything and feel the need to be rude. It could be that your cousin is insecure about herself and her insecurity is coming off as snottiness. If she continues to be mean and/or rude to you, then avoid her as much as possible for the rest of her visit. Just because she wants to be nasty, doesn't mean that she has to ruin your time with the rest of your family.

Q: Hey well i am like having all these problems with my mom and i love her very much but she just yells at me sometimes for like nothing and im really freaked out because she gets me mad and depressed i feel like killing myself or like cutting myself!

signed
Depressed little gurl

Killing or cutting yourself is never the answer, to any situation no matter how bad it may seem. You need to talk to your mother when both of you are calm, cool and collected and tell her how she makes you feel when she yells at you for no reason at all. Tell her that you love her, no matter what, but that she should take your feelings into consideration. Let her know how her yelling affects you emotionally, because if you don't, she will only keep yelling at you and the situation will on get worse.

bio

I am a 22 year old mother of two that has had to grow up a lot faster then her years. I have been married for four years, but now am seperated from my significant other due to lack of his being able to handle a mature relationship. I can relate to almost anyone, and have been sought out, both online and off, for my advice. I answer all questions truthfully and honestly. If I don't know an answer to a question or I think other resources would be helpful, then I go into researh mode until I find an answer or the proper resource. I aspire to be a life coach in the future, because I like helping people make decisions to make their life better for their future. I am here not only to answer advice questions on this site, but to also chat with you if you feel like you need a more indepth one-on-one help.

Here are some of the guidelines I go by when answering advice questions:

I am always truthful in any advice I give.
I would never give anyone any advice that I would not follow myself.
I take into consideration your feelings when answering questions, but I will not sugar coat anything. If you are wrong, then you are wrong and I will tell you so.
If I cannot answer a question to the best of my ability, then I will point you to someone who can, or I will research my butt off until I find a helpful solution for you.