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becoming abusive??
Ok first of all...this is really long but please read it because i really want some help. My dad has seemed to be a lot more meaner all of a sudden. Well hes always been mean sometimes but I mean hes just started to become physicaly mean. I was downstairs before because I was checking his email because a friend of mines mom was emailing him. So, I kept going down there to check it. (while he was on the phone down there) He started to get really annoyed and started yelling (like almost silently so of course the person on the phone couldnt hear him) and he just freaked out. He got off the phone with the person..and I walked passed him because I was going to go upstairs. He grabbed my arm and goes Whats your problem? And I said you! And hes like why? And I said nothing and attempted to go back upstairs. But he gripped me harder and it hurt because it was like squeezing my skin together and burning. Then he like grabbed my whole body and was pulling me towards him saying come onnn give me a hugg..Aliciaaa what is wrong. And he just wouldnt let me go upstairs. I was like uhh what the heck..whats so bad of me wanting to go upstairs? But yeah he just kept gripping onto me. And yeah I was of course trying to fight back and was quietly screaming. When I went upstairs my mom goes..what was going on down there? And I said dad wouldnt let me go..and he wouldnt let me go upstairs. She goes pff yeah right uh huh. And I was like he did!! didnt you hear me yelling?? He was gripping onto my arms. And she just kept saying riight im sure. And just now we were eating dinner in the living room and his business phone rang. He went and picked it up and goes..blah blah blah..then goes to go turn down the volume on the tv. And I go ooohh my goooshh..now we cant even eat dinner without you having to be involved with your business? (he is wayyy overly obsessed and its all he cares about..and no matter where we are he will always talk about it) He didnt answer me and gave the phone to my mom. Then he came over to me and did his little silent yelling thing and goes..you shut the h*ll up! And I go oh my gosh im just trying to eat dinner. And he just kept telling me to shut up. Then for some STUPID reason he grabbed my plate and took it out to the kitchen. I go oh my gosh what are you doing?? Now I cant even eat?!? He came back out to me and grabbed my arm tightly and it burned again and he pulled me out to the kitchen. He goes you eat this out here. Then I tried to leave the kitchen because I was going to go up to my room..but he wouldnt let me and just kept pushing me back. Then I finally went up to my room and slammed the door and locked it. He came up and got it unlocked and came in and goes..what the h*ll do you think your doing? Shes trying to talk on the phone and all your doing is yelling. I was like oh my gosh you were the one who was yelling and who started it. you didnt havvve to answer the phone..and even when were eating dinner! and hes like bulls**t blah blah blah. Then I kept saying..get out of my room! And I pushed him out. Now he keeps coming back up here and asking..did I leave the remote in here? and I go no...and he just stood there and then left. Then he came back up and was like it has to be in here...and then he searched all over. It was stupid because we both know he didnt bring it up here..and I was just like uhh what the heck?? He just seems to like to start fights and likes to keep bringing it back up. My mom doesnt believe what I say..mostly because I think she would be too scared to say anything to him. So, she just pretends to not believe it and doesnt do anything about it. He is not a alcoholic. He just gets mad easy and for stupid things. Do you think hes becoming abusive? What should I do??
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You were a little rude and disrespectful in the way that you talked back to your father. If you would have just stopped talking back, and apologized for your actions, then all of that could have been avoided. That still doesn't give him the right to grab you like that. Talk to your father, and try to get an understanding to why he is so upset and angry lately. It could be that his business is what is stressing him out so much. Also, try talking to your mother again. Ask her if she has noticed your father acting differently and if there is anything going on with him and his business. Parent's are under a lot of stress, having to work and take care of children and pay bills. Try understanding where he is coming from.
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why do all of you have to be so rude? why do you waste your time insulting people..seriously..get a life. and why did you even bother to answer when what you said was pointless? "i said oh my gosh to many times so im not going to answer you" why even reply? dont read it then if you get annoyed. like people say..if you dont have anything nice to say..DONT SAY IT AT ALL!! some of you people on here are so rude. thank you to the rest of you who answered me and gave me wonderful advice. i appreciate it.
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You said "Oh mi Gosh" like a zillion time which is why i am now annoyed and dont feel like giving you my answer
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i think that you provoke him and you are part of the problem your arguement could have been avoided the first time by simply apologizing instead you answered him back rudely. he's your father he deserves respect not for you to talk back to him. has it occurred to you that maybe he's having problems with his business. Or he's just getting older men have a hard time dealing with that i should know my dad was like that when he hit his mid 40's...
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Hello. I am really sorry to hear that you are having such a problem like this. I understand what you are going through because some of my friends had abusive parents. Although it doesn’t seem like your father is such an abusive man. He just seems very sick as I like to put it. He probably just has a weak nerve system. So does my grandmother. I could relate to you in your situation because there are times when she does go crazy and start to yell or bitch at me for no reason. She sometimes could squeeze my arm but that hardly ever happens. But it does. But I leaned to understand that it’s not really her fault. So I try to get over it no matter how wrong she is. And so should you. After all he is your father and he hasn’t done anything really that harmfully and I hope he doesn’t. So just try to ignore him, don’t talk back and just try to make things around the house easier for him. But if god for bid he does start to hurt you please talk to your mother or the cops or someone you know. Because it is wrong for him to be hurting you and always remember no matter how scared you might be its better to tell someone then hurt people you love around you and most of all yourself. But for now just cool down and maybe just talk to him when he’s in a good mood and tell him how u feel. Maybe you’ll let out a good cry.
Well good luck I wish you and your family all the best and if you ever want to talk
I am here. Just im me on adOrablexOmaShka
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I don't think he is. I think if you had stopped fighting him and answered his questions it wouldn't have hurt so much.
It could be that he is having business problems.Since that keeps a roof over your head and food on your plate It could be causing him a lot of stress. Especially if things aren't going well.
I think you need to try and talk calmly to him and not talk back to much. I know this is really hard for teenagers to do but try your best. Things will improve if you do. :)
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wow, ya if my dad did something like that id freek, i dont think its really abusive i think its more fusterating for him, my mom and dad get so flustered with me cuz i got a mouth of my own now and can fight back. He probably is getting stressed out and doesnt know how else to make you pay attention, tell your mom that you think the family should change the rules around a little bit like, dad cant work during supper and stuff liek that, if he starts getting worse at all make sure you have an adult lined up to go to and help you. also tell your dad when he's in a better mood that when he does stuff like that, it scares you and would appreciate it if he didnt do that again. Hope it gets better, just remember to have patients and try to take it in more then spit it out when your getting yelled at for dumb reasons! GOOD LUCk
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Hes becoming more tense, yes..but i dont think its abuse. Abuse is when he will hurt you..really bad..and wont stop. Abusing would mean going further than that and hitting you,etc. Sadly, there are so many horrible abuse cases out there. I do think hes becoming tense and yes hes picking fights by going back into your room several times. It would be nice if your mom would listen to you..i know mine would..and maybe suggest family therapy..it can really help you and your dads relationship. I think if your mom would help you out and talk to him about the familly therapy idea it would be nice..but if that doesnt work out just try and stay out of his hair. There was a short time when i was proably 13 or 14 when me and my dad would fightt like 7 times a month..loud arguements..but im 16 and we never fight now..it seems like it was a phase and we are still close and everything..so i wouldnt worry..we all have some pretty bad fights with parents and sometimes our moms or dads might grab us on the arm..etc. Is it right? no not really..but its no abuse..i think hes tense from work, etc/ Maybe try staying out of his way for awhile..even try being nice..i know it sounds hard..but if he sees you making an effort to clear things up..he will too.
-melissa-
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it sounds to me like he is becming abusive if your mom doesn't believe you you should go tell an adult at school or someone who will believe you! hope i helped! good luck!
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