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My name is Devin Lindsey or Vinny as my sister calls me! I am 17 years old and go to Bethel Park High school. I loooove swimming along with dancing, singing, and playing softball. I also run varsity track with is alright i supose too.My favorite colors are orange, pink, and blue. I love to be crazy and have a good time
I've had a job working for 15+ monthes so I can answer alot about that
and I know alot about relationships in general so I can be helpful with that sometimes
especially with parent child relationships
I am a very observant person and tend to know more and care about more than most my age
and I really believe in volunteering to help animals especially at shelters. Usually its not their fault that they have to live their and its usually horrible cercimstances that bring them there and I feel terrible that they can't speak for themselves and people are too caught up in spending like $500 on this cute little pure breed puppy from a breeder just into getting rich instead of giving one of these dogs another chance at life (there are usually a handful of dogs under a year old so the i want a puppy excuse doesn't work with me)
My baby is named Lainey Mae... we got her from a shelter about 2 hours away from us when she was 7 weeks old. she is now 2 years old and the center of our family. unfortunately someone was cruel enough to go down and drug up and shoot (but luckly not kill) most of the dogs plus rob the owner (just like someone did at the shelter where I volunteer) and its now shut down
advice
awhile back i entered a question about my 20 yr old daughter leaving back east to live with her father. well, she has asked my 18 yr old son to go with her, supposedly just for a few weeks, but i am extremely uncomfortable about this. i did not yell ar anything but the ex husband does nothing except try to brainwash them while they are there. they are leaving tomorrow and i can't help but feel abandoned by my kids who i've suffered and sacraficed to support all these years. i can't even look at my daughter, let alone say good-bye to her. i am so disappointed with her. i'm sure my son feels as if he is in the middle of all this and it breaks my heart that her and her father are going to try to talk him into staying there instead of coming back. my ex really is a piece of shit who has done nothing all these years but now looks like mr. cool. he is totally going against any rules i've made and if i say white he says black. i cannot believe how easyily my daughter is being swayed by him. and i'm trying to be cool about all of this, but i'm afraid i will lose it tomorrow when it's time for them to leave. i don't even want to be here, which i won't because i am so deeply hurt due to how my daughter is being to me and now i fear my son is a lost cause as well. and to top it all off, not only do i feel like the worst parent in the world, it looks like that as well. and one more thing, he is an alcoholic and she is already following in his foot steps by having problems with alcohol, i don't even know if the decisions she has made are alcohol induced or not. help!!
Its probally hard to go through what you are going through and its nothing that I could ever picture what your going through but i do say this as a daughter I would say let them go.. they are at an age where they hopefully have instilled all of your morals into their mind and know what they want for themselves. its hard to let any one go especially to someone you don't like. but think of it as a learning lesson... maybe your kids will see how lucky they are. every child needs to get away from the person they have spent their whole life with to find themselves. They are now adults and live their lives how they choose for better or for worse and all you can do is sit back and pray for them and make sure they know whatever they choose you are always there
13/f (Sorry, but this is kinda long)
okay, so my mom is american and my dad is full mexican. Well, my dad gets mad at me for the simplest of things, like one time I got up to go to the bathroom at 11:30 on a weekend night, I got yelled at and my dad pitched a fit! And my mom is always saying rude things about me, like oh, honey, you can't do it. You won't pass that test! And my sister makes it worse by tattling on everything I do and hogging all my stuff. My family is freaking messed up! I'm the middle child by the way.I have an older brother whom I never get to see cuz he's so busy, and I was closest to him so it makes me mad/sad. My younger sister is teh evil one who people say is an angel! I'm really fed up with this crap. I';ve tried to talk to them, but no, they're too busy and they don't freaking care! I tried everything to keep calm! Listening to music, reading, writing, playing with my dogs, talking to a friend, nothing works! Sure they're my family, but they're so annoying! So what is families are supposed be like that. Is your dad supposed to throw you outside at age 8 just for telling your sister to stop bugging you and 'accidently' forgetting aobut you until 1:00 am.m?! Is your mom supposed to let your sister have a friend over and not you because your sister is the youngest?! Is your sister allowed to beat the crap out of you when you're just watching TV?! I'm really mad at them especially today! Could somebody please give advice about what to do?
I know exactly what you mean! I am the oldest of 2 and my sister is 4 years younger than me which makes her a natural tattle tail and my dad comes from a strict old fashion family so he acts like his dad did... and well my mom shes just always bitchy and thinks my sister is almighty and im the failure.
All I can tell you is it gets better with age. At your age I was about to pack my bags up and leave.. i seriously had it. And at 17 although I still have my share of fights and dissagreements I basically just shake it off.. remeber I'll be gone at school in a year and no matter how much I complain nothing is going to change.
My younger sister is bigger than me and a year older than you so she is a big time PMSer and its annoying but the calmer I keep myself the calmer she becomes... basically Its no fun to annoy someone who isnt going to get annoyed.
Keeping calm is one big thing you have to do. I am a teenager and I know what kind of self centered atitude I had and what i still have as a female the less you yell and the more you act calm like an adult and just talk after everyone has cooled down the more your parents will listen to you. They are still grasping with the fact that you are growing up and not there baby anymore and its hard to let go of that control.
You said they won't listen? Find a time after the arguement to calmly confront them and just talk.. If its just one of your parents that won't listen talk to the other one.. ask if you can maybe take a walk to the local ice cream place your treat and talk or just go for a walk in general. the mor serene and private it is the better.
I know its rough especially when the baby in the family gets everything. Its not fair I agree but thats life in most families and nothing can change that. Just as I said be calm and mature. If you want friends over plan in a few days ahead of time when you know no one is busy .
and Relax
things will only get better but you must be positive for things to change
What would you do iuf you hurt someone's feelings (someone in your family) and you apologize but they don't want to forgive you?
I've done that before. not to a family member but to a girl who was basically my sister. She still won't talk to me and I cry and I cried alot when i hurt her but I tried to getover myself because really there isn't much you can do. You just have to give them time and indirectly remind them that you really care for them and you didn't intentionally harm them.
just give their heart time and leave them alone.. i felt like everytime i tried to talk to her it just made things worse.. we haven't truelly talked for over a month but sometimes she says little comments to me and even thought its not talking talking its getting better and stronger each day
My sister and her friend (they're 14 years old in middle school) asked me if they could go to a friend's house at 11:00 tonight. I asked them about it, and they said that they would go to a guy's house who's also 14. He lives about a 10 minute walk away from our house. They don't want me to tell our mom.
Basically, I said no. My sister and her friend told me that the guy's parents don't know about it and that they would WALK there. I explained that 2 girls outside at 11pm is very dangerous. So they asked if I could drive them (I'm 16). I said no to that because no parents know about it, and I just don't have a good feeling about it (I don't think they'd have sex, I just think something bad will happen, like get caught).
My sister doesn't understand because earlier this year, I came home from a party because of my 11pm curfew, but I went back to the party til 12am when I found out that my mom was asleep. I think that these are completely different situations: there were parents at the party who knew about the party, my mom was drunk that night so she wouldn't get mad, and I wouldn't be walking.
Did I do the right thing by telling my sister and her friend that they couldn't go tonight?
yes and no
Did you do the right thing yes by saying no
but it isn't entirely her fault
I don't your situation was completely different. I think its very similiar. you both went somewhere you shouldn't have when you weren't allowed (well she wanted to)
she looks up to you and if she sees that you think its okay to sneek out she thinks its okay for her.
although you were watching out for her safety which is great she is probally gettin mixed messages (trust me I am 17 and have a sister who will be 14 next month I know what you are going through)
I don't think it would have been fair to rat her out when you went out and she kept her mouth shut... so basically let her go and risk whatever might happen or follow the same rules you set for her and she might be more understanding
my uncle's wife thinks i am a bitch that i steal other girls style and make myself look stupid. i am not i don't even buy clothes. she's like in her 20's so she thinks she can just pick on me. i don't steal anyone 's style at all. i don't even like how they dress. i hate her i don't want this happening. i can tell even without her talking to my mom i know she has done something that would make them think like her.
I'd ignore her. Eventually she will mature but in the meanwhile i would be the bigger person. If she truely hates you and it doesn't look like she is annoying you by that she will quit. I would take to your parents/uncle and maybe find out why she is acting the way she is. for all you know it could just be a huge misunderstanding
my uncle did something that i thought i could never forgive him for and well i said i hated him and a while back he tried to say hello and i ignored him, now i just found out he has possible bone cancer and well i feel so bad, like i dont want to hate him but i cant forget what he's done. i feel like the worst person in the world because he's still the man i grew up with inside and i still kinda love him but i dunno, all i know is i dont want him to die. am i a terrible person
I understand how you feel... very confused I know. I would say love him the best you can. You don't have to forgive him I am not saying that but make sure you treat him well so you don't regret anything later. No matter what he did it had nothing to do with him getting cancer and no one deserves cancer. The worst thing you can do is continue to make him feel worse when he knows there is nothing he can do to go back and fix it and he may not live to feel your full forgiveness.
If nothing else pray for him. not only for him to get better but for you to find it in yourself to forgive him and move on
Earlier I posed on Advicenators a question about whether I should get a second gift for my brother's baby shower (I got a pair of socks for start). I have since purchased a second gift but I'm hesitant to give it at the shower (which is two weeks away). It's a baby t-shirt from T-Shirt Hell and says "I can kick your baby's ass." I think it's funny and would make a nice change from all the cutesey baby shirts they're sure to get. (It's certainly less offensive than most of the other T-Shirt Hell baby shirts, if you check their website.) But what if someone (namely my brother or his wife) becomes offended? I doubt my brother will but I don't know his wife very well and I don't know if she's sensitive or not.
I tried to ask my brother (before I bought the shirt) if the shirt would be an all right gift, but I don't think he understood my question because he said if I didn't know what to get I should check the gift registry.
maybe that would be a nice gift to give them when the baby is born at the hospital or maybe you can give it to them and have like a little dinner at your place with just the 3 of you. I would do it when its a little more private and its a good time for a joke. If you are going to give it them at the baby shower babywait till the end when most of the guests are gone.. i just wouldn't surprise them with that in front of everyone
Well, okay so i have a distant cousin. and I'd always just use the term of 1st cousin , 2nd cousin, 3rd cousin, etc. Because i didnt get the meaning of like first cousin once removed. Well If you have a first cousin twice removed, Does that mean you are more related to him as if you were related to a 2nd cousin once removed? I always wondered that and thought if there was anyone out there that knew. And if the answer to that question is yes, does the "removed" mean you are less related then like a first cousin in general? Just thought I'd ask cause i was curious. haha. thanks! ((i feel dumb asking this))
1st cousin- aunts child
2nd cousin- your mother or fathers cousin
2nd cousin once removed- the child of your second cousin
here is a site that i hope helps you
http://www.geocities.com/Heartland/Prairie/8546/rules.html
I'm Italian-American and my family is pretty old fashion when it comes to dating. They're not in anyway racists at all but they don't exactly believe in dating outside our race (like any guy that isn't white).
Well I've meet this guy since school started (I've actually met him at parties and stuff before but never really had a chance to get to know him) and he asked me out on a date.
I like him and all and I know my dad would love him (my parents always meet my dates when they come pick me up :/ ). He's Mr. all star football running back, he's smart (top 10% of our class, actually), and he's oh so respectful. But one problem, he's black. And like I said before, my parents aren't into that.
So I'm not exactly sure what to do. I've tried talking to them about the situation in the past, but no luck.
What i would do is explain to them that there is a guy and tell them all the wonderful things about him except that he is black because they may grow attached to this guy if they find out he is decent first. And even if they say something go with your heart. If he truely loves you and you love him back your parents will see this and back off.
Does anyone have any advice on how to deal with a sibling moving out and going off to college? My sister and I are a year and half apart and she's moving out in a little over a week. We're really close and I just can't imagine her not being here.
We also have an older brother that moved out 4 years ago but I guess I didn't notice as much since I still had my sister.
Now, I'm going to be all alone (well...with my parents) and have the whole upstairs of our house to myself basically and I know it sounds kind of dumb, but it's scary. Has anyone else felt this way and had to deal with it?
Maybe you could talk your family into letting you have a friend or a cousin sleep over a few nights to help make the transition easier and make you feel more comfortable.
I have never had a sibling leave me for more than a night and even that gets kind of lonely. Just being with soemone else for a while will help make you feel better.
But don't worry you will get used to it. Like my sister went away for a week and at first i was bummed out then eventually i grew to like being the only child and was kind of upset when she came back
I recently asked my parents for a cell phone, but they aren't giving in. 15/m by the way...i get good grades like all almost all A's. My parents said that money isn't the important thing, so I need some advice in convincing them to get me a phone? what could I say or do?
I would recommend trying to convince them to let you get a prepaid virgin mobile phone
- Its prepaid and you can put at little as $20 whenever you want (it says atleast every 90 days but they don't even pay attention to it.. so you can even but only $20 on every 100 days if you want)
- They don't have alot of mins so its a good phone to have incase of an emergency or something forgot to get you so its a good phone to keep that you can't run a bill up on
- you can't go over on your mins so you wont have to worry about overages
Its good to try to talk them into getting a phone for safety reasons. Being a guy its not as big of a deal but what if someone forgets to get you and you are alone in the dark? or if you injure yourself while out running and alls you have is your phone to call for help.
eventually my parents just gave into me and i got my first phone but i wasn't alowed to have aplan and i could only have prepaid.. also if you have the money you don't need to be 18 to get a virgin mobile phone so you can go get it yourself
I babysit my cousins who all love attention. Theres three of them and it's hard to give them all attention. What can I do to keep them busy while paying attention to all of them?
I would do crafts or baking.. something where they can all be involved and all do stuff with you at the same time. Also bring a friend or a sibling to help (if you aunt pays you tell her you wont charge her extra) so there is more attention to go around. You didn't say the ages of the kids so it is kind of hard for me to give you anymore advice. But if you would like more just drop their ages and your question in my inbox and i would be happy to help you because i babysit alot
My dad was in a bad car accident a few days ago and he's still in the hospital. The doctors say he's stable but he's in a...coma. Which I don't even understand because how can he be stable if he's in a coma?
Well I'm supposed to be moving out in like, 10 days because I'm starting college and I'm moving 4 hours away. The thing is though, I don't want to leave my mom and my sister if my dad isn't conscious by then. I don't know what to do because I'm so scared about my dad and I don't want to leave.
Classes don't start until the 30th but move in day is in 10 days. I don't have to move in by moving day but I know I have to be there by the first day of classes. I don't even know if I'm going to be able to pay attention during class knowing that my dad is in the hospital. I just don't know what to do, I'm so confused.
That is a tough one because really you can't afford to miss either one. Even when he is in a coma he can still be in a coma.. it just means all of his organs are functioning and besides the coma he is fine. What i would do is go to school but stay on call and have a bag to go home or something incase he gets worse. if he is in stable condition he has a good chance of being alright and its not worth missing college unless things get worse
Chances are something will happen either better or worse within theose 10 days but for all you know he could be in a coma for the next 30 years. just pray for him and spend time with him while you are here
just don't skip him getting worse for school. because that would be horrible
My sister is 13. This entire summer she hasnt gone to any of here friends house or even have them come over our house. But before the summer she had friends over every single weekend. she hasnt gone anywhere with the family either.
She spends every second of her day on the computer Seriously. Myspace to be exact. She has ten different myspaces && they are all of famous people from the disney channel. && she talks to people on there like she knows them in person. She has over 700 friends on each one. && she talks to every single one of them. I made me a fake myspace && made it so i was a famous person from disney && she even talks to me. but she doesnt know its me. And im not telling her.
My sister stays up till 430 - 530 in the morning. && then she goes to bed && sleeps till noon then gets straight on the computer. Yesterday morning my dad came downstairs and saw her on the computer. && told her to get to bed now. She got aggravated && yelled at him saying quit treating me like a damn child. She came in my room because i had to work & she goes why do you guys not let me stay on the computer & why do i have to get the computer right now? Its the summer and i should be able to spend all day on the computer.
Today our aol is not working && she is flipping out & yelling at everyone telling us that we better fix the computer before we go to bed. I have my own computer && my own cable box so i can use the computer. She is telling me that if she cant use the family computer i can't use my computer & that i better let her use mine if the family somputer doesnt start working.
My question is How do i get her off the computer && how is telling her to go to bed at 430 in the morning treating her like a child?
----------------------------
Do not tell me to block myspace & make a password on the computer. we already have blocked & put parental control on the computer. We have a password on the computer.
Dont tell me to warn her that school is starting in two weeks && she is going to have trouble waking up when school starts. She doesnt care.
&& she has plenty of friends But alot of them dont have internet access so she doesnt go over their houses.
Any help would be wonerful
:)
I think you should leave her alone. It is her problem and she will learn once school starts and she comes home insanely tired. As for myspace don't worry she will grow tired of it we all do
The only issue you both have is you are doing something illegal and something that is against myspace terms. You are not aloud to act like a celebrity or even make a celebrity fan site without written permission for the person you are making it of.
She is still young and she isn't going to listen to anything you have to say about her being on the computer so there isn't anything you can really do. But maybe you can persuade her to get onto a better site than myspace
hi!! i moved from another country to america about 10 years ago and i never really had a boyfriend because my parents were against it since im a european girl and "i dont know nothiing" anyways i finally got a bf and weve been together for a year and my parents actaully accept him...and im 18 by the way...our realtionship is great accept im scared to tell him that my parents dont have the best jobs in the world ..to me its embarressing ive been hiding it for a long time from my friends too...my mother cleans but thats normal for foreign women..and my father does like waxing and stuff and they both work at night so its great in my case ;)...but how do i tell him??? help me..i dont want him to be unattracted to me...and they get paid a lot though..
I don't think it would matter to him. Guys they really don't care about those kind of things and he is dating you here not your mom or dad. I would just tell him flat out.. Just start talking about how much your parents love him then get into their careers and what not. Those acually sound like decent jobs and i wouldn't feel embarassed about it, i mean my dad deliveres bread for god sakes
okay i'm 14 years old and my dad has been in jail for about 7 years because he almost shot a guy and about 3 weeks ago i wrote him a letter and now he wants me to write him more and come see him in september and im not sure what i should do because this subject is really hard for me and im not really ready to see him yet but my grandparents keep pressuring me to see him and i feel bad about not seeing him because he's my dad and he probably wants to see me really bad i just dont know what to do because i dont want to hurt anyones feelings but im also not ready to see him yet
what do you guys think i should do ?
thanks
I would keep right and wait till atleast the end of the month to make a decision.. because alot can change in that time. For all you know you could be the only reason he wants to keep leaving or his motivation to get out of jail.
Know one knows why you don't want to see him etc. so i can't persuade you either way. but i thought i would let that out
ok so my little brother is 9 years old and he always wants me to play with him. he doesnt understand that im older and have things to do. whenever i try to explain this to him, he gets upset and thinks i dont want to play with him so i feel really guilty. how can i explain to him that im busy a lot and dont really have that much time to play with him?
btw 15/f
I would just be straight up with him. Let him know you love him but you are getting older and have other things to do. If he feels bad maybe if you ever babysit him allow him to have a friend over. one that is trust worthy so you can do your thing and they can do theirs. He wants you to feel guilty so you play with him and he is going to continue to do it. I would ignore him until he understands. Maybe you can try getting him a new video game or something too so that he isn't bored? Just make sure you don't ditch him all together
My parents blame me for everything.
Our cell phone bill was high, it wasn't my brothers' faults, it was automaticly mine.
My friend stole my camera before she moved, and has even told people, but it's still my fault its gone.
Its my fault my family has big money problems.
Its my fault my mom is fat.
I`m just a 13yr old girl, sometimes my parents can be so cool, but they`ll just snap and all the sudden I`m the target of their anger! What should I do?
I think you should let them go and try not to let it get to you. I mean i can see why they target you. Teenage girls often go over their phone mins. and you could have gotten your camera back by calling your friends parents or what not. And teen girls often do strain on parents funds.. and trust me i would know
just try to ignore them. They are under just as much stress as they are puttin you under and they truely dont mean to make you feel bad. They just need to blow steam. Being a teen girl especially at your age is hard on everyone with hormones racing. What i would do is try to help your parents out and show them you don't mean harm and maybe next time they will think before you act. Maybe Cut back on your phone mins and use them only when you have free ones and maybe go walking with your mom in the park to help her lose weight!
For things to be better both sides need to be working together!
On July 25th my mom and my step dad will be leaving for iraq for a year and a half. My dad and my step mom are now going thru a divorce. My dad is moving us from waterford to clarkston. My dad had 2 kids with my mom, me and my brother. he also has to kids with my step mom, my younger sister and brother. Now he has to pay child support along with bills, house payments and gas money. This forces him to go back to his old job where he has gotten 3 surgerys in the past 2 years because of it. i have the option of west bloomfield or clarkston schools bcuz i can go under either adress depending on what i choose. Im just not sure were i should go. I know it would be so much easier if i went to clarkston and im VERY sick of my friends trying to guilt me into going to wst bloomfield. plus ill only be going to clarkston for two years, ill be ack with my friends in 11th and 12th grade. SO i gues im saying, what do you think i should do, what would be easier? I really would appreciate if you guys could help me.
well i dont know either one but i would go with the more challenging and better school. because is the end friends and distance arent everything its the kind of education you will get. also this is probally very hard on your father will all he has to do know and i would see what he would prefer because if yuo make his like 10x easier by going to one maybe thats what you should choose
I am a divorced 48-year old woman with a ten year old child and her own business, who's not very close to her family. When I was 15, I had a baby, gave the child up for adoption and never lived with my parents again. (I am the eldest child.) They divorced shortly thereafter after a troubled 17-year marriage. I moved in with my grandmother (who was my best friend) and lived with her until her death, now more than 15 years ago.
Since then, with the exception of my father, who moved 3,000 miles away, my immediate family has done everything to treat me like I don't exist. It really hurt me but was a continution of the pain I experienced from them as a child.
My mother didn't attend my college graduation, wedding or anything important to me. She rarely has anything nice to say to me. She has refused to help me out financially. Family events came and went and I wasn't invited. My siblings come in and out of town and I am the last to know. Rarely were my phone calls were returned. Our few meetings are tense.
I did therapy after going through some personal troubles. There are a lot of things going on here, but I just want to know if my strategy of seeing to my own personal happiness is a thoughtful one.
I realize that to minimize pain I cannot accept responsibility for or control the actions of others. I have good relationships with my cousins now, but this means I rarely see or talk to my mother, aunts and siblings. It's too challenging for me.
But now it's affecting my 10 year-old. He complains he doesn't have "normal" family ties. What things can I do to minimize my own pain while at the same time trying to see to it my son has a strong relationship with my family?
PS--his grandmother has always tried to have a relationship with him and I never interfere or bad mouth them, but my son still complains...
Thanks for any help anyone can give me....
maybe instead of you contacting your family all the time have your son do it. Make your family feel like everything is for him and your family isn't doing it for you but for their grandson who they want to have contact with.
It is going to be very dificult to fix over 30 years of trouble but maybe with the innocent of your child they might open up to him more and in return try to open up to you. just always show you care. send gifts for birthdays and holidays even if you don't get a response back they might see you have changed.
and remeber it takes two to become one.. you have to keep pushing through no matter what they do or say for it to work out.. fighting back wont even solve anything