It's perfectly normal - we all want to feel wanted, and we all like attention and to know that we're desirable.

I can assure you that the majority of people still want attention from their preferred sex when in a relationship - as the previous answerer said, it's human nature.

Oh, this can be difficult - I find myself in this situation sometimes. I agree that it's good to have friendship before romance, but I think there is a point where it crosses the line and so you can never go back from being friends, if that makes sense.

I'd suggest making friends with guys originally, but then introducing a bit of flirting quickly after - this should keep you out of the friend zone. Also, it sounds shallow, but making sure you always look good will remind them that you're not just 'one of the boys'.

As a girl myself, I can tell you that unfortunately we are often drawn to those tough, cocky guys even when we find them a bit ridiculous. Honestly? I think it's down to confidence. You need to be confident but not overly so.

You say that you 'kind of have no life' - well believe me, I know how that is as I'm in the same position at the moment, and the thing is, having 'no life' and keeping yourself to yourself stops you from meeting people and is a great hinderance to your love life.

I know that it can be difficult to start socialising and going out, because as I say, I'm trying to get myself to do the same at the moment, and as an introvert who has lost ties with friends, I mostly prefer to spend my time alone. I'm guessing it might be the same for you. However, you really need to do so. Do you have many friends? If you do, make an effort to hang out with them more. If not, try to make friends with acquaintances. Speak to people in your classes. Try and go to any parties you hear about. Join clubs. It may seem off topic, but doing these things will get you out there and you'll be more likely to meet girls in the first place.

Now, I'm going to be straight with you, I don't know you but what you have written here comes off as a bit snobby and narrow-minded. I understand that you're interested in topics such as politics and science, and you don't feel as if anyone else is, but do not assume that none of these girls you know aren't smart - plenty of girls who spend their time talking about things such as texting/tv shows are smart. The thing is, most people are smarter, more interesting and more deep than they appear. People are often scared to show these more true sides of themselves and so conversation tends to stay lighter.

I'm mentioning this because I think one of the reasons you might not be getting far with girls is because you're dismissing them before you get to know them - understand that there is most likely more beneath the surface and try to get to know girls before deciding they're not right for you. Take it slowly, though - if you start asking a girl a bunch of deep questions, she may be freaked out. You say that you talk to girls about the things you're interested in? I'd suggest starting out on lighter topics, because this means they'll be more comfortable with you - then maybe bring up things such as theories or politics, then more personal things. Talking in class about what you're currently studying could be a good idea, too.

Also, if you join clubs in things you are interested in, you may be more likely to find girls who are interested in the same topics.

I hope it goes well for you, and don't hesitate to message me if you want anymore advice!

The problem here is not age, but getting him in proximity, so that he notices you and you have the oppurtunity to get to know him. If your mutual friend likes you, then he could easily be saying the guy is out of your league to try and turn you off him, so it's probably best to ignore that. Bear in mind, though, that this friend could be a bit of a problem - but if you and this guy did end up liking each other, it wouldn't be a big enough problem to stop you getting together. It could just complicate things a bit.

Firstly, you just need him to notice you more. Smile and say hi when you see him. Start making excuses to ask him a question or compliment him. Strike up conversation on Facebook. (Do this gradually, though - if you do it all in one go, you could scare him off, and your intentions might be too obvious.)

After this, find ways of meeting up with him - if you know he's going to a party, try to go too, and talk to him when you're there. Hold a gathering or party yourself, and invite him along. Start inviting him and his friends out with your friends - it shouldn't seem too odd if you already have a friend in common. Always talk to the guy yourself, instead of asking your mutual friend to invite him along, as your friend might not pass the message on if he likes you.

Once you consider him a friend, you can start talking to and flirting with him on a more personal level - spend more time with him if you're both out with friends, talk to him more on Facebook, don't be afraid to go up to him and chat to him if you see him around. If you get good vibes from him, maybe ask him to a one on one thing in an innocent kind of way - for example, say he knows how to play an instrument, you could ask him to teach you how.

If that goes well, you could properly ask him out.

I hope this helps, and if you want any more advice on it, or on how to approach certain things, just contact me whenever you want.

I do understand where you're coming from, as I've liked guys a year younger than me before and been a bit hesitant about doing anything about it, purely because I liked the idea of being with someone older. But when it comes down to it, age is such a petty thing. If you like him, you can't let a silly little thing like age get in the way (and in my case, it was me being shallow and thinking, 'well, it's just a bit cooler to date an older guy, isn't it?' which is such a pointless reason not to date someone, and I can say from experience, if you don't make a move because of a reason like that, you'll regret it.)

8 months younger is not something that will affect your relationship, were you to have one. You should definitely do something about it - I don't know whether you're on speaking terms with him or not. If you're not, start by smiling at him whenever you see him (confiding in his sister may not be a bad idea either). Then, start saying hi, occasionally ask him a question. You can use sites like Facebook to strike up conversation too. To get to know him better, you could always throw a gathering or party at your house (garden parties or barbeques are always good for summer!) and invite him along. Once you know him as an acquaitance, you could even him to smaller things (for example, if you and your friends are going to the cinema, invite him) and the eventually ask him out on his own.

If you want any more advice on the subject, feel free to contact me.

If you really like him, I would say give it a go. Yes, long distance relationships are tough and - sorry to be negative - there's a higher chance it won't work out than with a usual relationship, but you just don't know. It could end up working out really well, and even if it doesn't, it will have been an experience and at least you'll know you tried.

Say yes and just see where it goes from there - you've nothing to lose. If you want any more advice on it, feel free to contact me.

Sorry I've taken a while to reply, and don't worry it's not too long at all!

This is tricky because it's really hard to know what he thinks about the group and what it means to him. It might not be anything to worry about, but on the other hand, it could be. I feel like I'd be able to help more if I knew what kind of things he posted, and who he lets be members of the group. For example, are the members of the group a bunch of his guy friends and does he use it for boasting about the physical side of your relationship? Because I think if that's the case he's definitely not respecting you, and he most definitely knows that you wouldn't be happy with it, which is why he hasn't told you about it.

On the other hand, if it's various people and he just talks about how he feels for you, what your relationship means to him and maybe things you've done together (but not sexual) or said to each other, it may be that he is just really happy with your relationship and proud of it to the point where he wants to show it off to the world, and is maybe emabarrassed of what you would think about it, which is why he hasn't told you about it.

I'm kind of confused as to whether you've asked him directly about the group. If you havn't, it could be that he doesn't think it's bad and therefore didn't mention it to you when you asked if he had any secrets he wanted to tell you. If you have, and he denied it, then depending on what the group focuses on, I think the reason is one of the two I've mentioned above. If you havn't, I would ask him about and see what he says.

I think, if the group is him boasting about the physical side of your relationship, then he knows it is wrong. If it's talking about your relationship and his feelings towards you, then perhaps he doesn't, but is too embarassed to show you it. You need to tell him you know about the group, and that you feel he's invading your privacy because you don't feel comofortable with other people knowing these things about your relationship. If he apologizes and says he will remove the group, I'd try and get someone who was a member to check. If he doesn't, then it's your choice what you do from there. If you feel like you can't be with someone who doesn't respect your privacy, then you're going to have to make the decision whether you stay with him.

You need to work out whether he realised this would hurt you or not, and if you know the content of the blog and can talk to him about it, hopefully you will.

I hope this helps, and if you still need help on it, just message me again, and I will try to reply quicker this time!

A normal one.

Honestly, I don't know anyone that hasn't kissed people they never got together with.

And actually, only five girls seems like quite a small number to me (I'm guessing your a teen, like me), so I really wouldn't worry about it.

Sometimes kisses don't mean anything, sometimes they're just sexual attraction, sometimes they're kisses that meant something at the time but never resulted in a relationship.

Honestly, this doesn't say anything about him. It's fine, don't worry about it.

Definitions of naive:
1. Lacking wordly experience and understanding
Unsuspecting/Innocent

I'm not whether it's a good thing that he said that or not. Often, guys like naive girls because they can use them, they're easier to persuade and deceive, etc.

BUT, he might just mean he likes your innocence. That he thinks that's a good queality of yours.

It's hard to tell, but watch how acts with you and try to figure it out. I wouldn't ask him about it, though.

Well, it depends on the guy.

It either means he wants to have a deep conversation with you about life (ie. profound stuff about what you think of love, life, people etc.)

Or, he's pretending he wants to have a conversation about it so he can get into your pants.

I'm in the exact same position as you right now. Because I'm working through it too, I can't tell you the exact right way to stop yourself from holding back, but I can tell you how I'm dealing with it and that might help a little.

It's really hard, I know. I think you need to try to be yourself, and if you feel yourself putting a guard up, bring it back down. As far as the physical side of things goes, it's tricky. Although you should only do things when you're ready, sometimes you are ready but you're just too worried about how you'll be at it that you pull away. In these cases, it's best to just make yourself do it. For example, if you've got to the point where you really want to kiss him, but still feel yourself pulling away, just make yourself kiss him. You'll most likely be happy that you did.

I think you've got to take the relationship slowly, and try to stay in the present rather than thinking about the future of it. Don't take it too seriously and just enjoy things in the moment and for what the are. I know how hard it is to open up, don't push yourself into it but slowly begin letting your guard down, if you know what you mean. If he does something that makes you suddenly worry that he doesn't care (I'm the same way you've described yourself, and I know I can very quickly jump to thinking someone doesn't care because of a tiny little thing) remind yourself that you're a great person, and that he does care. Don't push him away because you're worried that he doesn't. Don't try to 'hurt him before he has the chance to hurt you' (I do this all the time and it's ruined all possible relationships). Just try to stay strong, positive, live in the moment and take things slowly.

I hope I havn't rambled on too much and have been clear. If you want any more advice or want me to explain anything further, just message me, I'll be happy to help.

No, it's not considered cheating. If you're genuinely just friends, that's fine. If however, you do have romantic or sexual feelings for him, don't do it.

But if you are just friends, and you only think of him as a friend, it's fine.

If your boyfriend gets jealous of it, you need to explain to him that you're just friends and that there's nothing else to it.

I know most guy/girl friends are affectionate like that anyway. It's seen as normal and not an indicator of anything else but close friendship.

I think you should go for it. I know there's a possibility that he'll leave in 8 months, and I know that if you were in a relationship at the time, it would hurt.

But if you like each other, you should go for it. It's an experience and you never know how things are going to turn out. It's better to give it a go than to wonder what if.

Personally, I have lost that initial crush with boyfriends. But in my case, it's mostly because I'm a complete commitment-phobe. So I want the guy loads, until we're together and I freak out. It's not that the feelings are gone though.

It could be the same for you, though. If it is, try to work through the problem.

The initial crush thing does go for everyone though. When you first meet someone, it's crazy and lusty and you don't see any of their faults. As you spend more time with them, because it's not so new anymore, the rush goes, and as you learn more about them and notice their bad points, the excitement can go. But it doesn't mean the feelings are gone, it's just different.

It could be that way for you, or of course, you could just not have feelings for him anymore.

Stay with him for a bit longer, and try to shake things up and bit and introduce more excitement. If you still don't feel like you have any feelings, say you feel it's going to fast (or something along those lines) and can you take a break. If you do get that 'feeling of like' back, then stay with him.

If, when taking a break, you don't miss him or feel you want to be with, then yes you should end it. Because you shouldn't stay with someone just because you like hanging out with them. Maybe give it a while then try to be friends.

If, however, when taking a break you suddenly realise you do want to be with him, make sure it's not just a case of 'wanting it because you don't have it anymore', and if it isn't, suggest to him that you feel ready now.

Don't be hasty in ending it, because you need to work out why you're feeling this way. Do the above and you'll probably work it out, and figure out what your feelings for him are and whether you should stay together or not.

Hope I helped, x

I'm a teenage girl and I'm the same as you.

Trust me, almost all of my girl friends have questioned their sexuality at some point. I have friends that are bi, friends that have dabbled, friends that have fantasised. And almost all girls I know have kissed other girls.

I have often wondered to myself, 'Am I bi?'. I can't tell you whether you are or not. Sexuality is something that's very hard to define, it's not all black and white. I guess the definition of bisexual is equal sexual and romantic attraction towards both sexes, so the fact that you're not feeling the romantic attraction (by not wanting to date a girl) suggests that you're probably not bi, but you're probably not completely straight either.

You could start experimenting with girls and see how it makes you feel. But remember, you don't have to define your sexuality. It's fine to not be completely straight, bi or gay. Most people are somewhere inbetween. Also, remember you're a teenager, and as someone before me said, your hormones are going crazy so you never know how your feelings will change as you get older. It's something you can't be sure of right now, and you might never be, but that's fine. Just experiment and see what you enjoy, and then enjoy it.

And yes, it's all normal. I refer to myself as straight (although I don't consider myself completely straight) and I feel that way, and I know a lot of straight girls do. So don't worry about it.

I'm close to your age and am the same. I think it's quite a common problem for females. There are lots of possible reasons for it, and it all depends on who you are as a person. But I'll outline some possible reasons.

Low self-esteem can sometimes cause it. You might not feel worthy enough of anyone that treats you right, so you stick with people that don't.

You might be afraid of getting hurt. I say this, and I know what you're thinking - 'surely if I go for bad boys, I'm going to get hurt, so I can't be afraid of getting hurt'. Yes, you are going to get hurt, but with a bad boy or a player, you know you're going to get hurt. Even if you're in denial, deep down you know he's going to hurt you. But if you let someone in who seems like a genuine good guy, you won't expect him to hurt you, so it will be all the more painful if he does, and so you stay away from him. You don't want to get your expectations up and get hurt. I was listening to a song recently, which went, 'You know I'd love you if I knew you'd let me down', which I think is saying the same thing.

You might be afraid of getting close or of commitment. So you go for someone you know will let you down and therefore won't leave you in a committed relationship.

You might not think it, but a lot of us believe that we'll be the one to change him. Even if our rational mind is saying otherwise, somewhere inside, we hope that we'll be the one to change him. No one else will understand but it will be just us who sees the good in him. Know what I mean?

And of course, there are the much more shallow aspects. I'm not going to lie, I know this is one of the reasons for me and it could well be one of the reasons for you too. It looks cool to have a bad boy on your arm. Bad boys are fun and wild and dangerous. Everything's exciting with him. Let's face it, bad boys are sexy.

And then there are the simple reasons. Either the 'treat 'em mean, keep 'em mean' way of a bad boy - he treats you mean and you keep coming back because you want to win him over in the end. Or the smooth-talking ways of a player - simple as this, players are good flirts. They'll make you feel special (when they're there, that is) and they'll put you under their spell.

Often, you feel privileged that a bad boy or player would pay any attention to you. Which is ironic, because they're probably 'paying attention to' all other half-decent girls in the vicinity, but it's often the way.

I've found that although their allure is hard to resist, the only boys that I've had really serious feelings for, the only boys where they've felt like my equal rather than an object of admiration, are guys that AREN'T bad boys or players. I think you need to try really hard to avoid bad boys and players, or just spend time with guys that make you happy. Whether they're friends or more, just spend time with them. Eventually, you'll meet someone who deserves you.

As for the guy you're seeing at the moment, maybe stick it out with him for a bit, but if you continue not to feel it, don't stay with him just because he's a nice guy. It's fine not to have feelings for him, just wait until you find a nice guy you do have feelings for. I know it seems impossible, but eventually you will meet that guy.

Hope I helped, x

I'm a teenage girl and I feel exactly the same way as you!
I know a lot of girls that are straight have admitted they wouldn't rule out sexual contact with a girl, but I don't know if they fantasise about it like I do.
I actually asked a similar question to this on here before actually. I'm the same, in that I'm sexually attracted to girls but wouldn't date or marry one.

When I asked, most girls replied saying that they had thought about sex with girls, and a lot of the time it turned them on, but they wouldn't want to do it in reality. I would, however. But, I think it's hard to put a label on these things. Being young, we're curious. Even if we're more than just curious, it's still hard to know whether to label ourselves as bisexual. I guess the definition of bisexual is feeling equal sexual and romantic attraction to both sexes, so you're probably somewhere inbetween straight and bisexual.

As to your question of, 'do most girls feel like this?', I can't know for sure. I know I do, and I think most girls will have thought about girls in that way, some probably fantasise about girls, some will find the idea of sex with girls disgusting. It's not all black and white. But yes, I think quite a lot of straight girls have sexual thoughts about girls, and some might want to make it reality. What that defines their sexuality as, I don't know. I claim to be straight, just because it's easier. I don't think of myself as bisexual. When it comes down to it, although I would like to have sex with a girl, I'm more interested in guys. I think a lot of girls claim they're straight because there's not an easy term to describe what they really are, and they don't want to have to explain it all.

So yes, more girls than you think probably feel the same way you do.

I have noticed that whenever I am completely happy being single, and not really thinking about guys at all, someone who I'm crazy about comes along. And I've heard a lot of other people say this too.

You shouldn't want a boyfriend just for the sake of having a boyfriend. Be happy being single, start doing things for yourself - find your style, be yourself, write down things you have always wanted to do and start doing them, have fun with your friends etc.

When you stop thinking about guys all the time and just have fun being single, you will probably meet someone. I know you may have heard this before and are just thinking, 'that's not true' or 'cliche', but trust me, that's what I thought until I met someone every time I stopped looking for someone.

Also, guys like girls who don't seem desperate for a boyfriend. Don't act try hard.

However, if there IS someone that you really like at the moment, and would like to be with, flirt with him and then ask him out yourself. Take control.

If you'd like any more advice on the subject or on anyone you're interested in, feel free to message me.

You don't need to worry or be insulted. This guy is bisexual, not gay. This means he likes both guys AND girls, so he probably likes you for different reasons than he would like a guy.

There is seriously no need to worry or change yourself because of this.

I don't think that is really your fault. You have been friendly with him and agreed to meet up with him, but that doesn't necessarily mean anything. Loads of people talk over the internet, get on well and meet up, and it doesn't mean they're more than friends.

You're not wrong to have done this and assumed he would just see it as a friendly thing. Even if you both referred to your meeting up as a date, most people wouldn't refer to themselves as a couple after one date.

However, now he does think you are together, and to carry on letting him think that WOULD be leading him on.

Explain to him that you just want to be friends. Don't say anything like, "because I've just got out of a bad relationship", because then he'll think he has a chance with you once he's waited a bit. Just quite clearly say, "I'm sorry, but I just want to be friends with you."

Yes, he might be upset, but it will be worse for both of you if you just carry on.

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