about

Hello, all- I'm Becky. I'm 16 years old but wise far beyond my years, so hopefully you can expect some good advice from me. I'm not here to spit out cutesy answers to every single question- I won't be a bitch, but I'll be sure to tell it like it is. Just accept it, and consider less-than-sweet answers as tough love. :]

advice

f 17

now being serious
I think big is beautiful
I look at women like Queen Latifah and Tyra Banks
and they are Thick beautiful women

but then you have the Paris Hilton's and the Nicole Richies
who are dam near a string and thats what america thinks is right.
thats what men think is "Hot"

but to me they have little girl bodies

now i'm a thick girl and i love it
but i still sometimes feel the need to be thin
not because i'm not happy with myself
but because of the way others may look at me
my skinny friends get attention from guys our age
but i get it from men that are 20, 21 ,22

I jus really want to know Is big BEAUTIFUL
or am i just buggin'?

Personally, I think it's all about attitude. I view Queen Latifah as a really beautiful woman because from what I've seen, she has a great personality- always smiling and laughing, and she just seems really bubbly and nice. To me, that makes her beautiful.

Also, it's hardly fair to say that thin girls have little girl bodies and don't deserve attention from guys- I'm thin, and that's just the way I was built. There isn't a double standard in this situation- the skinniest girl in the world wouldn't be nearly as beautiful as she could be if she was always frowning and glaring and had a mean, bitchy personality. But she could be just as beautiful as Queen Latifah if she just had a happier look on life, and let people know.

I know it's totally cliché to say "Oh, looks don't matter as long as you're beautiful on the inside!" But in my opinion, it is true to some extent- focus on just being yourself and having fun, and I'm sure you'll get plenty of attention. C:

~Becky
[15/f]

[view]

13/ f

this is for skaters. (((skateboarders)))

do you like it if a girl is a skater to (((not punk or goth or anything ))). or do you like prissier, preppier girls?

Well, I'm not a boy, or a skater. ;] But it seems to me that a skater boy would like a skater girl, since you would share a common interest, and therefore have a built-in fun activity/conversation topic. C:

~Becky
[15/f]

[view]

Names Gina, 15.f. Ill get straight to the point..Theres this guy(17 yrs old) and I started talking to him at the beginning of july. I realize that it has not been a long time since we have started talking. He was apparently engaged before..But i think she left him for another guy. Well anyways, I keep bringing her up and he started crying once on the phone with me..I really try not to bring her up but its involuntary. Any suggestions?

Just don't bring it up- let him talk about it on his own terms, if he wants to, when he brings it up. You haven't known each other for long, so there will be plenty of time to get to know about each other's pasts. :]

~Becky
[15/f]

[view]

F/15
About 5 days ago I was will some friends and a guy that I had never met started texting one of my friends. He had seen me on Myspace on my friends page(They knew eachother from sports)And he started asking them if i had a boyfriend and me and my bf at the time had been fighting a lot (but the fighting you do when you care about someone a lot) and rarely got to see eachother anymore because he had been gone a lot. So they told him its complicated. I saw him later that night at a hockey game and then afterwards we went to a friends to watch a movie we ended up a holding hands but no big deal right?
The next day me and my bf got into another huge fight and me and the new guy had been texting all day. So me and my bf decided we should break up that night because of our frequent fighting. Me and the new guy texted the rest of the weekend, and on sunday night we hung out and we ended up almost making out, and we have plans to hang out tomorrow. Hes like the sweetest guy ever and I feel like we can talk about anything. My ex has been calling me a lot just to talk but we had agreed to be friends, so I understood why. Tonight hover he called me at about midnight to tell me that he missed me, i really didn't know what to say back but oh...
He told me hes still hooked on me and hes never been like that with another girl. Hes trying to change for me I can tell by his voice and what hes saying but who knows how long that will last. So now I'm tied between two...
An old caring love but with fights?
or a new love with what looks like a bright future?

It's really up to you. There are merits to both relationships, like you said there at the end. On the one hand, you have a guy that you've been with for a long time, that you're really comfortable with, and you know really well- but you fight a lot. On the other hand, you have a new guy that is easy to talk to and is really fun and sweet. It seems like you need to examine your feelings for your old boyfriend before you get in too deep with the new guy. How much do you love him? Do you genuinely want to make things work out? Are the fights really serious, or are they stupid ones that you could try and work on phasing out of your relationship? If you really feel like you'll be sad without your boyfriend, you should at least give him another chance. You could even stay friends with the new guy- but I'd say before you go further with him, you should think about trying to work things out with your old boyfriend- and try to cut down on the fighting. C:

~Becky
[15/f]

[view]

how did quinn and logan's relationship started? how did they like each other and if u know where i can watch it in youtube please do give me the URL.

im so left behind!


are dey dating in REAL LIFE also??


any more details?


oh and one more is ZOEY 101 over!?

In my opinion it kind of just happened out of the blue, but this is the way it all started out: Quinn's boyfriend, Mark, left her for some new girl. Quinn was obviously pretty upset about it, and she was sitting on a bench somewhere on the PCA campus crying, when Logan walked up and asked her what was wrong. She told him that she got dumped and was probably because she wasn't pretty enough, and then he was like, I think you're pretty, and then she said "Really?" And then all of a sudden they were kissing. It didn't really make much sense to me, because before that instant they'd never shown any interest in each other, but that's basically what happened. :]

[view]

OK, I have a question.
Do people flirt with the opposite sex even when they dont like them..?

Yeah, probably sometimes. If they are just trying to manipulate the other person (for example, they might think "if I flirt enough with him, he might do my homework for me!") or if they're drunk or something. Also, they might just be naturally really over-the-top friendly, but it comes off as being flirty- I know some people who are like that.

[view]

My boyfriend's birthday is coming up soon. I always seem to get him the wrong gift. He says he will tell me exactly what he wants and I can go get it, but I think a surprise would be nicer. Any suggestions? I want it to mean something
We have been together for almost 3 years
We have a child together
He is a mechanic
He loves 4 wheelin
He loves fishing
thanks any input is appreciated

Honestly, I think that if there is a specific thing he wants and he tells you he wants it, you should just go ahead and get that for him. Surprises are nice, but it's always a great feeling to get something just because you asked for it. :]

[view]

Okay i feel a little bad writing this because its not really a problem to have to choose between two guys, i am just confused and in need of some advice. okay so there is Boy 1 and him and i have liked eachother for about two years. We have hooked up before and hang out all the time. People pretty much consider us still together now. But the thing is, even though i am really happy the way my relationship is going with boy 1 (and we are not "going out" we just like.. know we like eachother and stuff) highschool started like amonth ago. I am a freshman and i met this sophomore guy that my friend said thought i was like attractive. He started talking to me and i find that im sort of attracted to him (boy 2) at the same time as being attracted to boy 1. Ive talked to both of them a lot recently, but seem to be thinking about boy 2 more lately. I know that this is probably because i have liked boy 1 for so long, that its exciting to have something new, but i dont want to have to keep going back and forth between themm
please give advice! what do i do!

15/f by the way

You really need to get to know Boy 2 better before you "choose" either of them. Why don't you just become Boy 2's friend? Once you know more about him, you'll know if you truly like him, or if you were just caught up in the excitement of meeting someone new. Then, you can decide who you like the best.

[view]

coming up on our two month-versary. Both seniors in high school. I (male) was planning on placing two red roses in her locker, with a little note saying something about two roses, two months and maybe a heart of some sort. Another idea, although it may be over the top, would be placing 2 dozen roses, and saying, 2 two months, 2 roses, 2 *dozen roses :-D that might be fun because then when our 3 month comes I can really surprise her with 3, 3 dozen roses, or somthing down the road even more surprising, for example. 3 - 300 hearts!

these are just a few ideas, anything else? What have some of you girls had done for you. I like to go big, and really like bi reactions, although they would be just as pleasent with the smaller items, its the significance of the thought ;)

That's a really sweet idea :] I personally would like the two roses better than the 2 dozen roses, at least for two monthes. 2 dozen just seems a bit too over-the-top. 2 roses is still very sweet and caring, and it will mean just as much to her.

[view]

Is it slutty for a girl and a guy (that liked each other) to publically, loudly, & obnoxiously flirt..like in class? How far would be too far?

Thanks

I would say that it isn't slutty, but it is a bit inappropiate. I guess it depends on the nature of the flirting. Simply teasing each other back and forth is fine, as long as you're not too distracting. However, excessive tickling, touching, or other things like that will most likely bother people around you. Just flirt in moderation, and no one will be too bothered by it =]

[view]

I'm 18 and a male. I have an Aadvicenators account that I've been using for years, but sometimes I just need to reach out to my fellow advicenators for help.

Well, theres this girl that I like named Katrina. We've been friends for a long time, and lately we've been getting really flirtatious, and I've found that she likes me also. The only problem is that we live in two different counties. Even though shes only about a 45 minute drive away we've yet to stay in physical contact with each other over a long period of time. My question is, what should I do? I'd like to leave, 'cause I don't like to wait around for things that aren't going to happen, but her friends all tell me that if I leave she'll be devastated. Not that I wouldn't be hurt too, it's just that I'd like to spare myself some unneeded pain ya know? So, what should I do? Stay or go? I really need some help here...

I think long distance relationships should only work if the two people have lived close for a while, they were just pulled apart. If you don't live close and never have, then you can't really make it work as easily because you don't really know how it feels to live close. I think you should break it off, because it doesn't really work out to not be able to be in close contact very often.

[view]

All of the "cool girls" at my school do drugs. All of the guys like them b/c they are easy. This guy I like only likes easy drug girls and I don't kow what to do to make him like me! Help!

Obviously you know you shouldn't do drugs. So no matter what, don't do drugs! Don't give in to him. If the only way he can "like" you is by you doing drugs, you can do SO much better than him. If that's the only way to make it happen, chances are he doesn't really like you, because wouldn't you rather have someone like you without you doing something that's harmful to you?

[view]

14/f
So there's this guy "tyler" who likes me. I mean REALLY likes me. Now tyler is not the best-looking guy in the world, but he's amazigly nice. He has asked me out a few times, but I've always said no. There are just some things I cannot stand about him, like that he is really into drugs, he's practiclly an alcoholic, and again he's not the best-looking guy in the world. Since we live really far away, we usually talk online, and we've become really good friends this way. When I see him in person, though, I keep thinking about his faults and I can never see myself with him, though I can when we talk online. Because of this, I've come to think that I'm being very shallow about this whole situation...but then I think would I really be happy with him and say I would not so therefore I am not being shallow. It's been bothering me for like forever, so please, what should I do about this whole thing, and am I shallow?

Thanks

You are absolutely not shallow. Shallow is when you don't like someone because of their height, weight, hair color, etc. It's just good judgement to not want to date someone who has severe alcohol and drug problems. If you and Tyler are really good friends, you should try and help him quit the awful habits he's gotten himself into before you even think about dating him. If you date him while he is still involved in alcohol and drugs, you might get sucked into those things too, and that would make your situation even worse.

[view]

Ive known this kid for about 2 years and Ive always had a little crush on him.
We got to be better friends and i started liking him alot and we had sex and all that stuff.
Then, rumors spread and he hated me.
After a while he started talking to me a little then not talk to me for weeks then talk to me again and repeat.
Sometimes it would be a good conversation,sometimes It just wouldnt.
He acts like he hates me ,hes always being mean to me and stuff.
His best friend said he likes me , and he does that because alot of other guys hate me [which is true]
His friend is a truthful person, so I believe him and his friend said he wanted to do me ,etc.
But he continues to act like he hates me and is so mean to me!
I dont know what to do , i love him so much But i cant tell him becuase he has a girlfriend.
I need help!

15/f/CA

This is kind of sad. Why would you want to go having sex and being in a relationship with someone who is usually mean to you? It seems like a dead end relationship to me. I think you should try and get over him, because someone who only treats you right part of the time isn't worth any of your time.

[view]

K ill make this short. My male friend (13) says he is going to have sex with his girlfriend on Friday night. I really really tried telling him all the consequences about AIDS and Pregnancy and how young he is etc. He wont listen to me! I really care for him, and im not shure how to tell him not to have sex so he would listen to me. If anyone can help, that would be great.

I agree with you that he is much too young to have sex. Still, you really won't be able to convince him not too, and he isn't really in danger so it would just be "tattling" to try and tell someone to make him stop. The best thing to do is just to encourage him to have safe sex, like using condoms. Also, one last argument that you could try would be that he would totally lose any little bit of innocence he has left. I'm not totally sure that would move him at all, but it's just something to think about...hope I helped.

[view]

ok so my ex has always been my best friend and we are still really in love with each other (i know this for a fact) and well you see he just started talking to my friend. and if i know my friend she will fall for him and it makes me really sad. i cried all day today because i saw them together. it really upsets me but i can't be mad because i really love my friend and i really love him i just don't understand how they could do this to me. so here is my question:
1) How can i approach him and talk to him about our feelings for each other?
2) What should i say when i'm talking to him about this?
3) What should i do about my friend?
Thanks for any advice i need it bad.

My thoughts on the subject: If you two are "really in love" why are you each other's exes? Also, If you are "really in love," just because your friend falls for him, that doesn't mean he's going to fall for her. If he truly loves you, then he'll keep on loving you. That being said, I'll tackle the specific questions you asked.
When you guys are just talking and having a good time, (you said you were good friends, so this situation shouldn't be too hard to make happen) be a little flirty. Then, when things calm down a bit, and things get quieter, say something like, "We've been having a lot of fun lately, haven't we?" and see what his reaction is. If he has a positive reaction, just tell him how you feel. As for your friend, give her a little credit. If she knows about your feelings for this boy, and she's a good friend, she'll back off. Just make sure you talk to her before she really does fall for him (if she even does) or she might get a little bit defensive.
Hope I helped, good luck =]

[view]

this kid called me pretty & called me twice today & said how he missed me, we dated a couple months ago

does he like me again?

He might like you again. If you like him, and he keeps on paying lots of attention, you could ask him out. Just remember that there is a reason that he is your ex =]

[view]

Okay, I told you guys how I had this thing for one of my friends. Well, one of my other friends, Laura, who lives down the street from me, tells me today while I'm talking to her on Instant Messenger that she likes me. So I'm over at my house freaking out because I was trying to plan out what I was gonna say to Ashley, the girl I like.
So I tell Laura that I sorta like her a little.
And I could tell she was struggling with her words. This is what we both said:

Laura:Okay... would you ever consider going out?
me: with who?
me: you?
Laura: yes
me: i guess so.. Why?
me: well, that was awkward..
laura: Uh... Meredith
me: uh, meredith what?
Laura: Meredith's helping me with what to say, but, would you go out with me?
Laura: (Sorry, clicked enter too soon..)
me: omg.. I.. I guess.

So, did I do the right thing?
I mean, Laura's been my best friend for a long long LONG time, and our moms are friends, too. I didn't want to make her mad at me, so I said yes. I really do like her, but I'm just not sure if I like her enough to go out with her.
So I have been going out with her for about an hour now. It's 8:50 here in Georgia, so you do the math.

I just want to know if I did the right thing or if I should break up with her and go for Ashley?

When Laura realizes that you don't really care for her like you do for Ashley, her feelings are going to be hurt. It's not fair for either of you to be in a relationship where the love isn't mutual. Explain kindly to Laura that you really like her as a friend, but not in a way that makes you want to go out with her. Then, give it some time (for Laura's sake) and go after Ashley =]

[view]

so, theres this guy he is sooo cute, funny, nice and just perfect. the thing is hes realllllly short and im pretty tall. i dont know what the matter is..i find myself completly loving him but i have this feeling if i ask him out he will be imtaimadated (or however u spell it) by my height.

If he likes you and you like him, then a little thing like height shouldn't matter. Just ask him out, and if he doesn't want to be with you because of your height, he isn't worth it. Hope I helped =]

[view]

Alright...christmas is in 3 days...and i STILL haven't gotten my boyfriend anything! I have no idea wat to get him, and im really starting to freak out. I need some ideas as soon as possible!!!
thanx!!

~Bake him cookies
~Buy him a CD
~Get him an iTunes (or whatever music downloading thing he uses) giftcard
~Offer to pay on your next date
~If he needs it, get him a nice shirt or two
~Get hime some DVDs that he doesn't have
~Kind of the same thing as the DVD one, but buy him the first season of him favorite TV show on DVD

Hope this helped a bit! Good luck =]

[view]

<<< Previous Advice Column
Next Advice Column >>>
eXTReMe Tracker