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Katrina, the hurricane of my life.
I'm 18 and a male. I have an Aadvicenators account that I've been using for years, but sometimes I just need to reach out to my fellow advicenators for help.
Well, theres this girl that I like named Katrina. We've been friends for a long time, and lately we've been getting really flirtatious, and I've found that she likes me also. The only problem is that we live in two different counties. Even though shes only about a 45 minute drive away we've yet to stay in physical contact with each other over a long period of time. My question is, what should I do? I'd like to leave, 'cause I don't like to wait around for things that aren't going to happen, but her friends all tell me that if I leave she'll be devastated. Not that I wouldn't be hurt too, it's just that I'd like to spare myself some unneeded pain ya know? So, what should I do? Stay or go? I really need some help here...
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Want to answer more questions in the Relationships category?
Maybe give some free advice about: Love Life?
I know what you're going through. My ex boyfriend is a soldier in Iraq. When he wasn't in Iraq or New York, he was in North Carolina at base, and it was always hard. I never got to see him when I wanted, and he was never able to be there when I needed him. I decided to let him go because it wasn't fair on either of us to have someone wait for the other because of distance.
I in no way regret my decision. I honestly think it's better for the both of us. I can find a guy near me who will be living near me, and he can find a girl wherever he may be. When he's out of the Marines, then I guess we'd be able to get back together, but I could've moved on by then.
If you want to break it off with her, that is your choice. You're going to have to take her feelings into consideration, but the distance is not fair to either of you, so unless one of you moves, the best thing to do is just be friends.
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First off, do not make any final decisions until you think absolutely everything through. 45 minutes is definately not a huge distance & is actually pretty close. So take that into account. If you desperately needed to see one another, you could. Talk to her about it. If you think it would be too much of a hassle & painful, explain that to her. Obviously, you both will be upset if you guys break it off, but it could help long term pain. It's basically your decision, but talk it through with her. There's both pros and cons in this situation. There's also nothing wrong with being friends for now while you figure things out. She might be feeling the same way as you. Obviously none of us can tell you what to do, but we can lead you into the right direction. So my advice is talk to her about all of your feelings. Once she knows everything, she'll be able to help you out too.
-hope that helped!♥
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17/f im in the same situation. just the distance for me is 1200 miles and 21 hours not just 45 minutes. I tried my hardest to get over him. but it tore me up inside, so i went back.
some of the questions i asked myself before determining if i should let go:
-why am i "in love" with him?
-is it worth it? will it all work out in the end?
-is it more than just physical attraction?
-is it both ways, does he love me as much as i love him?
i only got to see him twice a year- if that. and it was tough for me to hold on because i didnt think there was anything there. but in the end, i found out i was wrong. (and i was happy to be wrong this time) well, now, we try to make it work. we talk quite a bit and we try to see eachother all that we can.
i know this answer is going to sound typical, but i think that if it is true love, it will work out. but its not just going to happen. you have to work at it. which is what im doing. its easier to keep the relationship going when you see eachother more than twice a year.
the question is: do you want it to work out?
i found out that its hard to hold on, but even harder to let go. letting go might not be the answer. and you might find that out if you try it (like i did).
things will always work out in the end. if it is meant to be, it will. if its not, then it wont. typical, i know. but its true.
any other questions, just put them in my inbox.
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OK, Im giving a guy advice which is very than a girl. Well since you know that she likes you. Don't leave her because the lack of physical contact for a long period of time. Cause if you do, shell probally find out, and if you want her back maybe in the future she would hate you, and say N O.
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I think long distance relationships should only work if the two people have lived close for a while, they were just pulled apart. If you don't live close and never have, then you can't really make it work as easily because you don't really know how it feels to live close. I think you should break it off, because it doesn't really work out to not be able to be in close contact very often.
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I think you shouldnt stay, beucase if you two hardly see eachother there is no point in it. even if you want to be with her you two just live to far apart for it to work out, and you should explain to her that you do like her and you wish things were differnt and you could be with her but it just wouldnt work out there would way to much pain in the end.
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