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Q: Omg thanks you soooo much!!!!!! honestly you have been the only person who has helped me so much and your word impact in so many ways. I really appreciate it. you know.. he texted me last night saying that if he doesn't text me i wont text him.. there is a guy he is 19 years old. he is a little bit immature but not that much of my type. he always text me , he tells me he likes me and wants to be with me. at first i felt something for him but now am kinda confused. i really don't know what i wan tin my life anymore.

I'm so glad you find my advice helpful! Love hits us when we least expect it. And, honestly you never know who "the one" will be. On the surface this guy who keeps texting you might not seem like your type, but you really never know. If you go into things with no preconceived notions, kinda like ho-hum...whatever, you might find that it turns into something wonderful. Take your time. You're young and should be enjoying yourself. Spend time with friends and family. Put love on the back burner for now and it will find you when you're ready. Feel free to write me and let me know how things are going! Take care :)

Q: Thank you so much. that really helped me. i really wishe di was like you. I have a job i have a family but i been so stressed out. now that my boyfriend has only been using me just to have sex. am 18 years old and he is 17 almost turning 18. i wished he loved me like i love him . he tells me he does , but he doesn't even call em or anything. so dissapointed. :( What hurts me the most is that i lost my virginity to him 2 years ago.

I’m so glad you were able to find something valuable in my previous advice. What you are going through now is a tough one. So many people will come in and out of our lives. Some people will enrich our lives and we'll be better off to have known them, but some people will hurt and take advantage of us. It's inevitable. The trick is to find out what someone's true motivation is before we let them get close enough to make an impact on us. If hurtful people had a sign over their heads life would be so much simpler wouldn’t it? Try to look at this as a learning experience. After all, absolutely every experience in our lives, good or bad, is a life lesson. Take what you’ve learned from this current relationship and make a pact with yourself to be aware of the telltale signs that someone’s intentions might not be so sincere. You can’t turn back time unfortunately but you can change the way you react in future situations and relationships. Realize that you’re a valuable person worthy of real love. Don’t settle for anything less. If it means being without a relationship for a while then so be it. Give yourself time to heal and grieve and then move forward. I know a lot of what I’m saying is easier said than done. Trust me, I’ve been there. But there will be someone in your future who will love you for you and not what he can get from you. I hope in some small way this helps you.

Q: It's true. hey if you ever had your hear broken by someone you love what will you do :( ?

Yes, I have had my heart broken. Well, at least I thought so at the time. It felt like my entire world ended and I felt completely lost and hopeless. I went through being sad, angry and just a little psycho (embarrassing to admit, but true). But, I realized that I had a life and people in it that needed me. I had a job and kids that depended on me, so I plugged on. Don't get me wrong, it was difficult to continue with my daily routine but I did it all the same. And you know what? Eventually the loss became less painful everyday. I dated a few losers, relocated to a new state, met a wonderful guy and now I'm happily married. No matter how bad you may feel at the time, there's always the possibility of something wonderful around the corner. It might take awhile to meet the right person but I truly believe the right person exists for everyone. Funny thing is, when I think about that jerk who I thought had broken my heart I think "what the hell was I so upset about? he was a jerk anyway". He ended up going thru a series of crappy relationships and last I heard he had decided he was gay. Kinda funny really. Anyway, hopefully this helps to answer your question. Have a wonderful day!

Q: my ex boyfriend broke up with me, we remained in contact because I wanted to try and work things out and he said he'd think about it. I didn't want to remain friends with him and I made that clear. a month later, after no effort on his part, I started texting a guy I met in a bar. my ex SAW me with the guy but all we were doing was talking.

im not dating this guy, and my ex knows that, but he said to me "well y'all might get together soon, or you might start dating another guy I don't know but then maybe we'd get back together if you broke up" I said what do you mean he said "im jus saying you never know" why would you say that to someone you broke up with?

It sounds to me that he's just trying to string you along. He broke up with you and didn't want to work things out although you did. Now he realizes you're not at home crying over it and you're out meeting new guys. He's probably jealous but still won't committ to you, so instead he makes half-assed comments to get your attention. My advice would be to cut off any contact with this guy and move on. He's immature and not worth your time. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: So my boyfriend came over a week ago and we talked for about 3 hours...at first I was upset with him because I felt like we were growing apart and fighting a lot more about stupid things and he didn't want to talk to me and fix things. After a lot of tears, he finally broke through and told me how he felt. After that everything just flooded out from both of us and we made a huge 'break through' in our relationship. We both decided that even though we're in love, in the long run we probably weren't going to last. But I asked him if we were still going to try and he said yes of course...sooo we're still going out and things have been going better then ever since then but I was just wondering if this will be good for me. I love him and I love hanging out with him, but should I keep being with him if our personalities clash? We haven't gotten into any fights lately, but I'm sure we will eventually start again...I mean, yeah we fight a lot but the good times ALWAYS make up for the bad times...So what do you all think? Should I run this thing into the ground? Or might we actually have a chance? Any advice is good, thank you all so much.

It sounds to me like you have a pretty solid basis for a good relationship. Everyone argues now and then. But when you do fight, are they knock down drag outs? Do they escalate to something physical? If so, then it's not a good idea to stay in the relationship. If not, then maybe you can work it out. It sounds like the two of you have been keeping the lines of communication open (having had a 3 hr talk shows this). Communication is one of THE most important skills in maintaining an open relationship. You don't say how old the two of you are. That might play a part in things as well. One thing I did notice is that you seem to be waiting for the other shoe to drop...that is you say you haven't been fighting lately, but you're sure it'll start up eventually. If you are anticipating issues then they're bound to crop up. Try just focusing on the good times you have when you're together and don't sweat the small stuff. I hope this helps a bit. Good luck!

Q: im 18/f and he's 19/m

ok, so i have become really really close with the lead singer of a local band. so close that were even travelling to america together. However, when i first saw him a little over a year a go, he was taken. Knowing my boundaries i backed off and i began talking to his friend, and fellow bandmate. Soon i developed a 3 month long crush on his bandmate at the start of last year. Eventually i got over the crush on the guitarist, still having a little 'inkling' so to speak about the lead singer. He and his girlfriend conveniently broke up and we began to talk and open up to each other. It wasn't only till recently that i realised that perhaps he likes me just as much as i like him... We are so much alike its actually scaring both of us, and he's so different to what i'm used to, in a good way.

so anyway, I never told the lead singer, that i used to have a crush the start of last year for his guitarist. Then last night, we were having yet another deep conversation when he brought up that he knew i used to like his guitarist. I asked him how he possibly knew that considering i never told the guitarist i liked him. He didn't answer me and then he says to me. "You were in love with him!" and i was doing my best to convince him that i wasn't in love with his guitarist. He was looking at my youtube videos, and found and old one i put up quite a while ago, a comic i made, where the guy just happened to look EXACTLY like his guitarist. He told me not to lie, so i told him flat out "yes i used to have a thing for your guitarist for 3 months at the start of last year...its all in the past now etc etc" and that my comic pictures were old and not recent. He kept teasing me saying "you were obsessed with him! or your inlove with him!" and i would keep telling him, trying to convince him that i dont at all anymore...

then he wanted to know why i liked his guitarist, what attracted me to him, pretty much what happened in that period of three months that i liked him...i was confused as to why he wanted to know so much about it, but i answered him anyway. Then he says something that is absolutely doing my head in...he says to me "When i get my lisense, and come to pick you up and hang out with me and my friends, im just going to look at greg and go UGHHH." confused as to why he would go ughh i asked him and hes like "I'll tell you one day...." WHAT COULD HE POSSIBLY MEAN?! i dont understand that at all..
and he told me how he wish he never saw that picture i drew of me and his guitarist in my comic. and how he wont be able to think of me the same now...
what do i do? what did he mean? why does he care about it so much?

the last thing i want is for him to think im crazy and obsessive etc etc. :( help.

I don't think the issue is that he thinks you're obsessive ro crazy. I think the issue is that he's jealous of your past feelings for this other band member and is now thinking he wishes he never pushed you into telling him about it. Very often people think they want to know absolutely everything about their new love interest, until they finally hear something they'd rather not know. If you wish to have one final conversation with him on the subject you could do that. Tell him you aren't interested or in love with the guitarist, that it was just a 3 month crush and you want this new relationship to progress forward. Then after that let it go. No one wants to constantly have to reassure the other party that they love only them and have no feelings for anyone else. Hope this helps! Good luck!

Q: 18/f and hes 19/m

ok so i really like this guy, usually he calls me bub, bubba, gorgeous, hun etc etc like cute nicknames...then today i say
"hello lovely :)"
and i get back "Hey kid"
kid? like seriously? im only a year younger then him and i dont see how that is cute at all =/ in fact its actually making me think he doesnt like me in that way...or as much as he did, because everyone keeps telling me its not a good thing if a guy calls you kid.

advice? x

I wouldn't read to much into this. Was he alone or with friends when he called you "kid"? Maybe he was just having an off day. If it really bothers you just ask or even text him about it. I don't see anything wrong with that. You can be playful about it if you want to make it seem like it really doesn't bother you. "What's up with calling me kid?" See what he says to this. Hope this helps a bit!

Q: We text for long times, like until really late and he always sends me smileys and winky faces he agreed to hangout soon but he says he doesn't want anything serious at the moment cause he just got out of a almost 3 yr relationship. I've been there and definetly understand what he's going through but I really like him. I respect his decision about staying single for awhile but I really like him and I want him to myself i can't help it haha. Is there anything I can do to make him feel more comfortable around me or anything? I don't wanna scare him away. Thank you!

I think the best thing you can do for now is respect his request that you don't get serious. Start by being friends. From the way it sounds, you already have a good basis for one. Be there for him, find mutual interests you can enjoy together. With any luck, when he's ready to move on to another relationship it'll be with you. Don't push him and I think it'll ultimately pay off. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: So okay I've been dating this guy for like ten months. He's sixteen, junior and I'm fifteen, sophomore. Well about a month ago this random dude facebook messaged him like "Hey I saw your girlfriend at walmart today!" (They know eachother from a baseball camp I guess, not well though, and my boyfriend doesnt really like him. my boyfriend was alright cool and they had a conversation and what not, mostly talking about me I guess. I've never really talked to the guy much... he's kinda creepy, a little out there, not really in my crowd but he's pretty nice so we didn't think much of it. Well since then this guy keeps sending me and my boyfreind messages (also texts) but he'll send me facebook messages every single day, nothing really interesting (latelly I have not been replying). The interesting things are the things he's been sending my boyfriend. He's sent things saying:
"(My name) is a really great girl, you're so lucky." and eventually he go up to "Would you possibly let me hook up with (my name)" and my boyfriend was kinda like "excuse me??" thinking maybe he was joking or something. Keep in mind, this guy and my bf aren't friends. At all. At first he just didn't wanna be a dick but now that this kid is getting really creepy he's blocked him on facebook and is trying to block his number. He'll try to talk to my boyfriend when he see's him (cause they go to the same guym) and I guess he always brings me up... Some of the messages he's sent my boyfriend have really scared me. Even though my bf isnt replying to him (and he didn't want to show me the messages but I kind of made him) he's sent things like "I just wanna f*ck her till she screams" and "Everyone's gotta price man, I'll pay anything for a night with her"... I don't know what to do... Once the dude's number is blocked I think most of it will stop but what if he keeps bothering him...? My friends don't really know what to do either. I'm kind of freaked out but I'm trying to keep cool cause I don't wanna stress my boyfreind stressed out about it anymore than he already is... But he doesn't know how much longer he can keep it together with out confronting this guy. It's not like I can go to my school though because all three of us go somewhere different... I don't know what to do!

This is harassement, plain and simple. He's texting lude comments and that's got to stop. Save all the texts and talk to local law enforcement. Don't be afraid to do this. This nut could easily progress from texting sexually explicit messages to something more serious. Your bf (and you) should adjust your FB security settings so that you can only receive messages from friends (I'm assuming this psycho isn't a friend on FB). Also, go to FB's security "help" page and report this guy. He's stalking you and it started on FB. He got your cell numbers from your FB profile so hold FB accountable. See what they'll do about it. There's a whole section on there about harassing behavior. Please don't let this escalate. This is creepy stuff and needs to be handled asap. Good luck!

Q: Okay so, not the easiest topic to approach, but I figured I'd give it a shot.

I've been having sex with my now-boyfriend (who's 26) for two, going on roughly three months. He's never initiated anything to begin with, and I've always felt so awkward doing it myself. I'm pretty submissive in the bedroom, so this is a new behavior to me.

However, this isn't the core issue. What I feel that is, is a lack of communication/understanding, or just plain out carelessness, in general. Lately our sex life has taken a halt, and when we are intimate it's not much of a session, or any quality/effort coming from his end, to be crass. He has issues with lasting (five minutes is pretty typical - and he asks if I cum quite often, in which I say no, honestly) I've asked him if he feels as if things have changed (I meant emotionally between us, and he took it as me asking if my anatomy changed -- and responds with, "you're not as tight as when we first had sex, no." Uhm, what?

Needless to say, it left me speechless and then dumbfounded by the utter stupidity. I've been with several people before him, one of which I had sex with nearly every day, for two years, and nothing changed. And at 19 years old, I'm doubting much CAN change unless I feel like giving birth sometime soon.

Anyway. He went onto say that I'm still "tight" and we have "good sex" just things aren't the "same" as the first time down there. I'm not sure how to even take these comments, or how to get it through his head that the vagina is a muscle that doesn't alter every time you have sex or place an object in it. Has anyone else ever dealt with this/and how DO you deal with it?

It sounds to me that he recognizes that he has very little staying power and he's just trying to turn it around and put it on you. The vagina does become "looser" feeling after childbirth but that certainly doesn't sound like the case for you. Since it seems as though he has some problems holding back before you have had an orgasm you could try asking him to spend some time performing a bit of foreplay. It's not fair of him to only think of himself during sex and then to have the nerve to say it's somehow your fault makes it even worse. Talk to him honestly and openly. Hopefully he'll be receptive to your needs and things will get better. Hope this helps somewhat!

Q: my ex boyfriend never leaves me alone. he asks me all the time if i want to hang out with him tonight and i said yes in the past. and he just wanted to make out with me and have sex. he never talks to me everyday. the only time he talks to me is when he wants to hang out with me and that's usually at night. it's really pissing me off. i tried acting interested in him and said yes. and talked to him a lot so he would back off. it was really boring talking to him and i was really not even interested in doing this but i had to get him out of my life. i got so bored that i eventually just ignored him for a couple weeks. then he comes back and pursues me and asks the same question "do you want to hang out?" the problem is im in love with this other guy and its not my ex. i told my ex i love someone else. i was mean to him i cussed him out. he just laughed at me and didnt take it seriously. but then he didnt talk to me for a couple days, then next thing you know he invites me to his house because hes having a party. i say yes. we end up having sex. it was the worst most boring sex ever. after that i made a promise id say no to him 4 times and if he doesnt give up by the 4th time then i dont know what to do. TODAY he texted me at 5 am and asked me if I wanted to hang out.

I ignored it. I didnt even respond. I just cant get him out of my life. I dont like him. I cant seem to like any other guys because my ex is always there wanting to make out with me. Not only this but he asks his other ex if she wants to hang out with him too...idk what to do. I thought he liked me until i realized he was just using me. i cant seem to do anything about it. hes really annoying. he calls me too until i pick up. i dont need him in my life and i know he doesnt even have feelings for me anymore because his friends told me he doesnt. please help. by the way he was the first guy i ever had sex with and thats not a lie. please help me i really want him out of my life forever.

This guy's a jerk and is using you big time. My advice is to completely cut all ties with him. Don't answer his phone calls no matter how many times he calls. He keeps bugging you until he wears you down and he knows it works eventually. Show this jerk once and for all you don't need him and you're done letting him use you. You really need to do this for your own mental health. You'll never be able to move on with the other guy if you keep allowing this to go on. Hope this helps.

Q: hello, i've been with my boyfriend for almost 11 months, everything was great at first but he started to stop talking to me that often and he said it was because he thinks i want other guys, he has been saying this for half a year...he says that he thinks im really really pretty and that its obvious that im trying to get guys attention cause i get dolled up (but to be honest i just do it when i HAVE to ) how can i change the way he sees me ?? he loves me and i adore him and i have never cheated on him and he once cheated on me, he thinks im just this horrible person, he says that its so obvious that i crave for other guys attention and thati just want guys to be looking at me and to be wanted by guys :S when to be honest i am NOT and between my friends i am the one that to less stand out to be honest my friends are very pretty tall girls great body white skin, im short average body not fat but not skinny pretty face long hair brown skin..my point is , i understand he thinks that way about me like he thinks every guy out there is trying to get with me and its soooo stupid because the truth is SO far from it !! i dont stand out at all ! but just because to him i may do it he says that he doesnt wanna be with a gril like me who just wants to be wanted (because according to him if i go out with my hair done and wear heels eventho i dont wear them often at all its because i want to get guys attention) to be honest the only reason i take care of my image is because i go to a rich kid's school, everyone there is literally dressed like the girls that are on the show gossip girl, just to go to uni they go like theyre going clubbing hahaha and i do noooot look like tht at all im like usually on jeans flats a regular shirt and have my hair done and a bit make up, im not trying to stand out but im trying to not stand out for being the laziest girl to at least do her make up....im just trying to pass unnoticed....but my boyfriend left me because he says that i am always trying to look good , when to be honest i look like every other girl out there! not over dressed but not in wearing pj's ...he says he cannot have me as his girlfirend anymore because he thinks i want other guys :S when the truth is i dont and i only want him. please tell me what could i do to change his mind , i never ignore him i always take his calls answer his texts i try to speak to him whenever he wants but he has changed alot :S he says he still loves me more than anything but he deleted me off facebook he says he doesnt want to see me there, he never replies until hours after i have texted him, he never makes time to speak to me and he says he is always busy eventho he isnt doing anything imoprtant !! he once said to me when he was very upset that it was because i didnt deserve his time of day for being a gilr that wants to attract other guys when he is my boyfriend, when i swear i never do anything like that :'( im desperate and i dont want him to leave me cause he thinks im a slut :S i prefer him leaving me over something else ! not because of something he thinks i am !!

First, please realize that you can't change the way your boyfriend feels about anything. Only he can change how he thinks and feels. It's really not your job to constantly reassure him. That's certainly going to get tiresome and old very soon. It sounds to me like this guy has low self-esteem, is immature, or both. The most you can do is tell him one final time you are not interested in other guys and leave it at that. DO NOT change how you dress or act. Be yourself. Honestly, I would find it extremely difficult and annoying to be with someone who harps on the same subject day after day. It's quite possible that you're too mature for this guy. It worries me that you seem to be accepting all the blame for his insecurities because this is definitely not your issue, it's his. As I see it, you have a pretty big decision to make here. Either stay with this guy and spend the rest of your days soothing his ego or move on. Hope this helps somewhat. Good luck!

Q: well my stepbrother is my age, 17. & the reason that we havent seen each other for so long is because i see my father about twice a month, since i dont live with him, my father is married to his mother but he does not live with them. soo its always a very low possibility of seeing him. over the summer i was going to spend time with my stepmom, we're really close, but at last minute it turned out that he was going to go to a summer christian camp. so thats knocks out all of summer. when school started in september, my father & stepmom got into a really intensive fight that caused them to separate. she changed her number, causing me to lose all contact with her. i would get updates from my dad but he isnt someone very trustworthy. & recently we got into an altercation & its been a month since ive spoken with my dad. so there are many obstacles in my way. but i just dont know why im falling even more for him everyday.. he supposably lives in my area but its not like my area is small. -thanks for the advice :)

You're very welcome for the advice. Wow, you certainly do have alot of obstacles in your way. Sorry to hear about all you've gone through. Unless there's some way you can get in touch with your stepbrother it isn't likely that you'll ever get to tell him how you feel. And the fact that your parents are feuding will make it all the more difficult. Other than doing some online searching (facebook, myspace, yahoo email for example) you might just have to wait it out. I really wish I could be more help and have some better advice to give you. Please feel free to message me anytime. Best wishes!

Q: march 13 2011 marks a year of me not seeing the one my heart desires. a year. how is it possible for someone to feel this way for someone else over a long period of time as if it was the first time seeing them. i mean during this past year i think ive even fallen deeper in love with him when nothing even happened between us. & overall he's my STEPBROTHER! its not right! but in the 2 years ive known him he's been one of the most amazing guys i have ever met. is this an obsession? well he IS physically attractive but its his heart & the little things that lure me in... i WANT to tell him but things would get even more akward. what should i do?? Any advice is MUCH appreciated. thanks. -female 17

Your question leaves out alot of important information, making it difficult to give the best answer. Questions such as how old is your stepbrother? Where is he and why haven't you seen him in a year? I've personally known couples who were at one time step brother and sister, so it's not wrong or weird. You're not related by blood. I'd say tell him how you feel only if you're getting the same signals from him. Try to get a sense if the feelings you have are mutual. Otherwise this might become awkward. But maybe you'll be pleasantly surprised that he shares your feelings. Please feel free to send me a message to my inbox. Hope this helps somewhat. Good luck!

Q: Heyyyy. Okay... So I'm a sophomore girl, fifteen. Some background on me: Dated a guy all of last year (I was freshman,14 he was sophomore,16) and he was a jerk. He would be a complete ass one second and then force me to look him in the eye when he told me he loved me. He kinda sorta (based on your defintion) cheated. He pressured me into fingering. He physicallyl forced my hand to give him a hj. He asked me for weeks for a bj saying things like "if you really loved me, you'd do this". He dumped me in a text. All in all, he really hurt me. He confessed he was only in the seven month relationship for the physical stuff, only liked me when we were hooking up, etc. He also told me he didn't tell anyone about how far we'd gone which was a lie cause he would give his baseball team entire play-by-plays and brag about how he "had me on a leash". But okay. I was whipped. I was so confident and strong before I met him. I really changed when we dated. I hate that girl that I was. I was an IDIOT and I wish more than anything I could take it back. I became a little puppy dog and basically lost all of my self worth when the whole thing was over and done with. I felt like a joke. I felt like(because of this and other instances involiving guys prior to this one) a guy couldn't ever like me for the person I was. That there was something so horrible about me or my personality that my body was the only thing that would keep them around. After the break up I was to put it shortly a mess. And one of my really good guy friends basically saved me... He talked me through a lot of it. I told him things I didn't even tell my girlfriends. When I wanted to beg for my ex back he told me I was too good for that and he basicallly helped me find myself again. We've stayed god friends August he started dating a girl. Around November I started dating a guy. Towards the end of November he was talkign to me about how he wanted to break up with the girl. He did it and called me after so we could talk. He was pretty upset just because he felt bad for hurting her. About a month later I decided to break up with my boyfriend cause he was super clingy and would look through my phone and yell at me and stuff. Again, my guy friend helped me through this. After that we started talking every single day. People accused us of liking eachother but we both assured them we were just really good friends. But the thing is... I like him now. I'm so confused by our relationship. And I don't want to ask him about it because I don't want to ruin the friendship. Recently he hasn't texted me as much and he acts really distant when we hang out around other people. But that's only b een the past like week so maybe he's just in a slump? I dont' know... but it actually makes me sad. We've been through so much and I don't know what's going through my head or what to do or if I really do like him or what... I need some serious help...

Most strong, long-lasting relationships begin with friendship. It sounds to me like you two have the basis for a mutually beneficial relationship. Maybe his recent silence means he's feeling the same mixed feelings that you've been experiencing and he's feeling unsure as well. He sounds like a wonderful, caring guy and I feel you should bite the bullet here and let him know how you truly feel about him. It sounds like you've been through alot in a short amount of time. Let him know how much he means to you and take it from there. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Q: To begin with, I love my boyfriend...we always have a great time together and he is my best friend. He's the only guy I've ever done stuff more then kissing with and I've lost my virginity to him (and he lost his to me). This morning I woke up really happy because we had a date last night and it was really fun. But then I checked my facebook, and everyone else updated their status about them hanging out with friends and my best friend sent me a text and said she missed hanging out with me...I'm so confused, because I LOVE hanging out with my boyfriend, I'd rather hang out with him then anyone else, but at the same time I miss hanging out with my friends. I feel like my friends are just like "oh, she's always with her boyfriend now, she probably won't want to hang out with us anyway" and they never invite me to stuff like they used to :( I guess I have been more distant since I've been with this guy, and I miss my friends but I'd still choose to hang out with my boyfriend over hanging out with them...I don't know why but I've been craving the 'single life' lately, even though I'd never break up with my boyfriend, at least not right now. And I don't believe in 'taking a break'...if I ever broke up with him (or him with me), I couldn't ever allow us to get back together because if we can't work out the first time, then we probably can't work out the second time. So what do I do? I feel like I'm torn between my friends and my boyfriend, but I'm not...I'd rather hang out with my boyfriend. Maybe I just like the idea of being more social rather then actually doing it? A lot of times when I used to hang out with a friend, I'd get really bored and just want them to leave so I could be alone...I just don't know what's up with me! I'm so confused :( please help, any advice is appreciated!

Also, if it helps, I'm 17 and he's 18...we've been together for a little bit over a year.

You shouldn't feel that you need to take a break from your bf because you want to hang out with your friends from time to time. It's good to stay in touch with friends and family even if you're in a relationship. Having interests aside from any that you have with your boyfriend is important for a well-rounded life. Please don't feel as though you would be ignoring your bf. Perhaps you two can discuss your needs and desires to do things with your friends. Does he have friends that he hasn't been spending much time with? Maybe you can agree that one night a week (or every other week) can be friends night. You can both spend that time with friends doing things that you all enjoy. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. Stop beating yourself up over it. Hope this helps!

Q: 20female

So it's really weird but I would rather just have sex then do foreplay. I feel more comfortable having sex then giving a guy a handjob or blowjob. I've actually never given either because I'm scared I'll be bad but I've had sex before. It's actually pretty weird. I'll let a guy finger me and I don't care but I just can't find myself to let me return the favor to them and would rather just get right into sex. Like from making out to sex. Is this weird? I've only had sex twice with the same person ..but I'm no longer talking to him. Would any guy let this happen or would they be turned off that I wouldn't want to please them before sex?

I don't know what to do!

You've stated you've only had sex twice. Give yourself time to feel more comfortable doing other things besides intercourse. You should not feel compelled or forced to do anything you are not comfortable with and your partner should respect that. If you aren't experienced at performing oral sex then of course it will make you unsure of yourself. Relax, take your time and it will develop naturally. Putting so much pressure on yourself will only result in more insecurity. If your future partner gets upset with you then you don't need to be with him. Hope this helps.

Q: boyfriend and I broke up (he broke up with me) 6 months ago... I was devastated, I was madly in love with him. he still contacted me saying he still loved me and stuff like that. I asked whether he wanted to get back together and he didn't have an answer for me. I chose not to remain friends as it hurt a lot. 2 months ago I started seeing not dating another guy, my ex obviously found out and said to me "well you might start dating that guy, break up with him and then get back together with me, who knows" why is he saying that?

He's doing it because he's trying to control you. Don't allow it. He broke up with you and you did the mature thing and moved on. Now he's sees you don't need him and he's trying to reel you back in. My advice? Forget him. Hope this helps!

Q: To start out Ima homophobic. Two men and two female ar wrong in the eyes of God. And Im a southern baptist. Lately, Ive been gettng these urges around girls, and I get hornny. I also get turned on by two girls kissing and I want to try it. Am I gayy? I look at girls butts and at there boobs sometimes also.

Many teens experience conflicting sexual desires and preferences. What you are feeling is perfectly natural. Yes, I feel there may be a possibility you are developing lesbian or bisexual tendencies and if that's the case there is absolutely, positively nothing wrong with that. God loves you no matter what. Contrary to what the church might say, God loves everyone and does not discriminate because you are gay. This could be a phase that you'll outgrow or it could be a life-long choice you will make. I would suggest that if you continue to be attracted to other females and are still uncomfortable with those feelings then find a support group for gay teens. It'll help you to realize you're not alone. Hope this helps.

Q: I have the strongest feelings ever for this one guy but he doesn't talk to me anymore it seems he is ignoreing me and I know what your gonna say just talk to him.. it's not that easy for me because I feel that vibe from him.. You know it's gotten to a point that I've been crying close to everyday as long as I'm preoccupied with somethig I don't cry and if I'm not infront of people I just can't cry in front of people... I know why I can't stop thinking about him is because he is the closest guy I have ever gotten to. I miss this guy so much it's making me stressed everytime I see him with another girl talking I feel terrible. I'm a mess I can't meet any guy to replace him.. I feel like there's no way out... He means so much to me I'll do anything for him but he doesn't want to be with me I can just tell I know things.. Every time I think about him which is a lot I regret that I didn't take my chances with him I could have had more of a bond and maybe a rwaltionship I blame myself I'm tired of this I'm crying to a way beyond point and my bestfriend has a boyfriend so I can never talk about my problems anymre bc she's usually talking about him or too busy so I'm alone and I need advice I'm stuck and I don't know what I could do anymore:(((

I hate to say it, but it definitely sounds like you're obsessed with this guy. That could be why he doesn't talk to you anymore. You've made yourself so openly available there's no challenge there for him. Many guys want to be the one doing the pursuing, not the other way around. It sounds to me like you've put this guy so far up on a pedestal no one else can compete. There are other guys out there. Just because this one isn't interested in you doesn't mean you have to spend your time pining away and crying. You're gonna just have to face the fact that it's not going anywhere and move on. It'll be hard at first, but worth it in the end. Hope this helps. Good luck.

bio

Merry Meet!
I'm a mom of three grown children. I've been married, divorced and now recently remarried. I've had more than my fair share of life's hard knocks and have been knocked down more times than I can count, but still manage to get back up and go at life again. All this gives me tons of experience to draw upon when giving out my advice. I love people and honestly want to help. Please feel free to ask me questions directly if you like and I promise to answer each one of them.

Brightest Blessings to All!!